Tommy's POV
The GNT finshed a month ago. I'm not gonna lie, I miss it so much. I miss the preparation for shows every day, the drama on the bus ( c'mon, the bus wasn't that big), the crazy fans who would do anything just to see us…
But most of it all, I miss him.
I mean, we still see each other now and then, but it's just not like on GNT. Before we would go out after a show, get drunk, sometimes we had a little make-out sessions and then we would cuddle until we fall asleep. I know, so much about my straight…To tell you the truth I really am not. I kinda lost my straight when I met Adam. When he is just so… I don't know. There's just this thing about him, you can't rezist. You know, cause it's voodoo, voodoo, voodoo… uuuu… I'm sorry I just love than song. And it describes perfectly how I feel. Like I have no choice. Magic I'm telling ya. And God this is gonna sound cheesy… But he's kinda my drug. And I haven't seen him for so long now. We still sometimes go out, sure, but only for a 30 minute lunch or something like that, he usually says he has no time. No time my ass. I know he's buzy, but currently not much is happening, I mean he said so on twitter! And he still has "no time" for me. I kinda feel left out. He doesn't talk to me anymore. We use to share everything, best friend you know? With small benefits though. C'mon you get lonely on tour and as I said I'm way too much attracted to him consitering my "straight". And besides, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of cuddling.
I never thought I could fall for a guy. Don't get me wrong, I never had anything against two guys being together, but I never saw myself as one of those 2 guys. Well, I still am not. Every time I tried to go a little further he would mumble something about how I don't really want that, how this is all just a little bit of messing around…
I mean hello? I think I know what I want. I want him. Guess he just doesn't feel the same. I can't believe it! Do you know how much time did it take for me to convince myself that it's okay that I like him and that it's my choice and nothing to feel embarassed about? And when I realised that the guy who "turned me" bi doesn't really like me… When that thought accured to my mind… I went all drama queen on our poor little apartment. I was screaming and throwing things around. Thank God I was alone there… My roommates already think I'm crazy enough. And since the GNT finished I've been having some hardcore mood swings. I like him, I don't like him, I think he likes me too, oh no wait he hates me… You know, stuff like that. I've been acting like a teenage girl in love. I'm confused and don't know what to think anymore… Maybe I should talk to Adam? Let him know how I feel? Tell him what I've been thinking about for the past month? Easier said than done.
I'm just gonna call him. I'm gonna say to him to meet me at my place, or somewhere… anywhere in like, 10 minutes. I will tell him everything and see how he feels. MAYBE he likes me too but he was afraid that I would turn him down. MAYBE he just waited for me to say something first. . MAYBE he wanted to tell me that me how he feels but didn't know how to. Or MAYBE… not. I need to prepare myself for the worst. But I need to do this, I can't hold it in me anymore. If you haven't noticed, I'm kinda already going crazy overhere. My thoughts are so mixed up. That's it. I'm calling him.
I grabed my phone from the table and just held it in my hand. I've been sitting on the couch thinging for maybe 40 minutes when I decided to finally call him. I just needed to make myself do it. I had no other choice… I dialed Adam's number. It's ringing… ringing….. still ringing…
„Hello?"