A/N: A new day, a new fic! This is my second endeavour on . I have been truly blessed by the amazing reception to my first fic I posted here ("See Me". I am very proud of that fic and will continue to update it) so I decided to take another stab at things. I look forward to finding new readers and sharing something different with my old readers.
A/N: This is an old idea of mine that I tried on LJ about a month ago. I am bringing it back because I am still really in love with all the possibility of this fic and I wanted to try something happier than my previous adventure. Here is a quick run-down of my idea: A Glee / Wizard of Oz Crossover. Kurt stars as the beloved "Dorothy" (of course!) with many of his Glee Club members making appearances as the various characters in the land of Oz. I want to make it as hilarious and campy as I possibly can. I'm thinking, at the moment, small chapters with frequent updating? Don't expect ANY angst in this fic, but I will tell you now: I hope to get plenty of Klaine, Finchel, Brittany and Sue into this fic. So without further ranting, here is chapter one to give you a small taste of what is to come...
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters in Glee. Sadly.
"I really think we should try Don't Stop Believing again at Sectionals, guys. There has to be an arrangement we haven't tried yet!"
Kurt was starting to really resent Mr. Shue's glee club meetings. Perhaps it had something to do with his idea to pay tribute to Celine at sectionals being shot down so fast by the "tyrant" teacher, but mostly it was just because glee club was starting to feel very...repetitive...to a boy bursting at the seams with talent.
"Mr. Shue, it has been raining all day and I suffer from a very strong, acute dose of seasonal affective disorder. If I have to sing Don't Stop Believing one more time, I might sink into a depression so low that my sobs of despair cease to end" said Rachel in her typical half-whine half-angry manner.
The rest of the room let out a loud and deep collective moan. If there was one thing worse than Rachel nagging, it had to be Rachel crying.
"Well Rachel, no one said you had to take the lead this time. I was thinking perhaps..."
"...but! But Mr. Shue that is not fair! I never get solos anymore!"
Another moan. Possibly even louder this time.
"Rachel can you PLEASE just stop talking? Not even losing your voice is enough to stop you from getting a solo!" snapped Mercedes coldly, clearly having enough of Rachel's weekly diva act.
The fight raged on as Santana reminded everyone that she really didn't like Mercedes *or* Rachel, but Kurt was no longer paying attention. He had learned to tune out the Glee club drama and escape into his head; into a world of his own. This was all thanks to his new friend Blaine. After some venting about Glee club over coffee, he suggested to Kurt that whenever he felt upset or scared he should just closed his eyes and go to a place where that anger or fear didn't exist. At first, Kurt laughed and mocked Blaine, quite smugly asking "do the unicorns sing to you in your happy place?", but the more he tried it the more he thought Blaine might really be onto something.
Kurt's world he retreated to was quite simple. It was him, Blaine and a singing Unicorn.
"Finn, you are my boyfriend! Stand up for me! Be a man! DEFEND MY HONOR!" screeched Rachel at a very confused looking Finn.
"I...um...forgot to flush a toilet somewhere."
Before Rachel could scold Finn again, he was already out the door and running down the hall faster than he had ever been while on the football field.
"I tried to flush a ham down my toilet once. It was Christmas and I thought it might be hungry" piped Brittany, who had been quietly sitting in the back of the room this entire time.
Everyone stopped what they were doing, even Kurt snapped back out of his mind, and starred at her.
"Um, Mr. Shue? I just heard that a storm watch has been issued for the school. Coach Sylvester says we are to give weather the Ferber method or something though and we should just keep classes going" said Finn who was peeking his head back in the classes. He still looked quite afraid of Rachel.
"Ok Finn, thanks. So maybe we should sing something?" suggested Mr. Shue.
They were half way through a "new" arrangement of Don't Stop Believing when the choir room door swung open and smashed into the wall with a loud thud.
"WILLIAM!" roared a tall, blonde, angry looking woman. "You're STUPID ginger slut of a girlfriend put in a COMPLAINT to management about me at Sheets-N-Things! A COMPLAINT! I was given a warning, William. A WARNING! You know how damaging this could be to my climbing the corporate ladder? I was going places, William. I had un-limited potential. People were talking!"
It was William's ex-wife, Terri. She hardly seemed to notice she had just burst, mid-song, into a room full of people. She never once took her fiery, burning eyes off Mr. Shue. She was still wearing a pair of over-sized sunglasses and she was carrying a thick, green purse that looked more like a weapon in her hands than an accessory.
"Terri, this is hardly the place. Let's just go outside and..." said Mr. Shue, looking a bit flustered.
"No, William. No. I will not go outside. A complaint, William. And all I did was call her a home-wreaking Forest Gump with tiny boobs over the inter-com system" she stammered back at him. "ONCE!"
Kurt was desperately trying to go back to the world inside his head and he had not noticed that the rest of the Glee Club was slowly shifting away from Terri and Mr. Shue towards the back of the room - Finn moving significantly faster than everyone else.
"Terri, if you don't leave right now I am going to call up Sheets-N-Things and give them a complaint of my own!" screamed back Mr. Shue. He was starting to hold his own ground now.
"Oh? Ok then! Fine, William! You want to play the blackmail game? I can play the blackmail game! I don't think you know who you dealing with here."
She looked around the room, fire still in her eyes. Her mind raced and boiled as she plotted her next step. What could she steal that would really piss him off? Suddenly her eyes locked on Kurt. That stupid Glee Club, she thought. Terri marched over to Kurt, who had his eyes closed and was whispering something about unicorns. She grabbed him like you would a large dog and started to walk out the door. Somehow Kurt did not even seem to notice, his eyes still shut as he muttered to himself.
"TERRI! YOU CAN'T KIDNAP A STUDENT!" roared Mr. Shue who looked like he was about to pull out his hair.
But it was too late. She was gone, and so was Kurt. No one could quite believe what had just happened. The room fell silent.
"Is the mean lady going to be Kurt's new mommy?" said Brittany from the back of the room.
"Well I for one think we should continue practicing for sectionals. Kurt was just dragging us down anyways. Clearly his mind was somewhere else and I was just not feeling the 110% effort that I require as a committed member of this Glee club" muttered Rachel with her arms and legs crossed quite tightly.
"But...don't we need Kurt?" asked Finn quietly.
"WHAT? DO YOU NOT THINK I'M GOOD ENOUGH, FINN? I can't believe you would say something like that! You are...are...so insensitive! WE ARE THROUGH FINN HUDSON!"
Rachel ran out the room crying in an exit that was almost more dramatic than Terri and Kurt's. All eyes now turned to Finn who was looked quite scared and a little dumbstruck. No one seemed too surprised however and the talk turned back to Sectionals and Journey.
As far as Kurt was aware, he was still sitting in the back of the choir room. The place inside his head was quite gripping at the moment and he had no desire to leave it. At the moment he and Blaine were playing a heated game of strip poker as the unicorn serenaded them with a beautiful rendition of "Taking Chances".
"Kurt, you might want to open your eyes" said Blaine, who seemed to be purposely loosing each hand (although that might have been the work of Kurt's brain) and was down to just his underwear and one sock.
"Why?" said Kurt, looking very confused, but before he could respond he heard a loud thud and snapped out of his little world.
He was now lying in the back seat of a small, beat up car. In the driver's seat sat Terri who was trying to get the car to start. "START YOU PIECE OF JUNK!" she yelled, clearly still angry at Mr. Shue.
Kurt looked outside the window to see where he was. Good, he thought, still in the school parking lot.
But all was not good. The rain that had been falling all day was much worse now. Accompanying the rain now was a large amount of wind and dark, ominous clouds. Kurt decided he was probably safer in a violent storm than in a car with Terri, so he opened the door slowly and slid out like a tiny ninja while Terri was still yelling at the car and smacking the dashboard.
It was only as he was running back towards the large front doors of the school that he saw it. A large funnel of wind was forming in the not-too-far-off distance and it was headed straight for the school – and him.
Kurt had been texting Blaine during Science class last week when they were learning about tornados. Places to hide during a tornado had been a big part of that class, but Blaine's texts seemed to be taking up the place in his brain where that information should be. Was it something about small spaces? Or was that for thunderstorms? He had to hide somewhere though as Terri was going to eventually notice he had left and at this point he was still more scared of her than the storm.
The doors to the school looked quite far away as the tornado raced closer Glancing around quickly all Kurt could see was a near empty parking lot and a completely bare football field. The only thing that jumped out at him was a row of small, blue port-a-potties lined up near the fence. Without giving it much thought he picked one and climbed inside.
"I never thought I would lock myself in one of these on purpose..." Kurt muttered angrily to himself as he switched the lock to 'occupied'.
There was only one thing left to do now. He closed his eyes and tried to return to that wonderful game of Poker.
A/N: Well, Kurt has locked himself inside a very unstable portable toilet. Let's just say by the time he gets out he will not be in Lima anymore! Next chapter will lead us into the land of Oz and introduce us to a very "special" Glinda. Hint: The characters who will become the Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man are in Chapter 1. Can you guess who is who?
A/N: I am a review whore. Sorry! It is true! So here is my plug: please review because it helps me get an understanding of what you guys like and encourages me to keep writing! If you want faster updates the best way to get them is to review But a big thank you to everyone reading this – review or not I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read my fic.