Rufioh was sitting in bed, his brown and red hair tousled all about. It was messed up from the pair of hands that had pulled and ran through it.
That pair of hands was currently under the covers resting in front of the owner of those hands.
The owner was Rufioh's fiancé. They've been engaged for a few months now, they planned to wed tomorrow.
He moved to swing his legs off the side of the bed, he caught a glance of himself in the mirror that sat on the dressed. His eyes had bags and his once bright brown eyes, had yellowed and pinked. Rufioh hauled himself from bed. The silky covers falling off with him.
The creak of the bed under him made him cringe. The reminder he was way over weight.
Another reminder was the button straining over Rufioh's chest and belly. His binder was strewn on the floor somewhere, he was too tired to even attempt a search. So there was nothing he could do there.
It also could be the shirt that was hastily buttoned onto him was the pajama top his fiancé owned. Although Horuss was one size below. And the only reason he wore that size was because he was muscular.
Not some fat fuck who owned a rack.
Rufioh sniffed, just staring into the sink. He never really enjoyed the sex with Horuss. Sometimes it was just down right scary.
It wasn't Horuss' fault. He was always gentle. He always asked before anything, even repeated the word that so carefully had been selected and known for years before beginning anything. It was Rufioh. It just, was all his fault. He knew it. He believed it. He just can't handle what he was given and it made everything tasteless.
The stupid breasts. They couldn't even have been small. Horuss liked them. Never states it or touches them without permission. But he likes them. A solid double D.
He hadn't realized he was crying until he opened his eyes again. The redness all over his face and ringed around his eyes proved so. Even the wetness that was streaked across his cheeks.
He stepped back and peaked at the sleeping man. Horuss' tan skin was well flushed red, his hair strewn all over his pillow. He shook his head and went to turn on the shower. Unbuttoning the shirt that stuck well to his form.
He wasn't shapely or anything extreme, the testosterone took care of that, he still picked at the things that were horrifying.
Then he felt it, the acidic feeling. The spit that accumulates. Rufioh's eyes watered, his stomach squeezed, he rushed over to the toilet. Leaning over and hacking all the contents of his stomach into the poor ceramic bowl.
Rufioh spit the remnants of whatever the fuck sat in his mouth now, out. He dropped to his knees, holding his stomach. It must've been the goddamn spoiled left overs he ate.
Note to never ever do /that/ again... he's been puking for months because of it.
Horuss was still asleep so he flushed the toilet and slid the button-up off and hopped into the shower.
Rufioh slid back into bed, this time just as naked as his lover.
Horuss' hands slid up Rufioh's milk chocolate skin, his thumb rubbing against the patch of freckles that dotted the shoulder of the mexican boy.
Rufioh cuddled up under the arm of the tallest, feeling much safer and more secure with the muscular arm around him. Horuss had rolled to his side to face Rufioh, his eyes still closed.
A hand slid up the muscular chest, sometimes Rufioh liked to laugh about how Horuss' chest could pass for a A cup. It made him feel better that a cis man could have boobs too.
~ ️~
Rufioh stood in the dressing room, bawling. He was minutes away from being married to the most handsome, smartest, kindest man he'd ever met.
Horuss Zahhaak was his world.
He was scared. He was beyond frightened of what would happen after this.
The buts and ifs
This could end badly or end as one of the best events he could have.. he paced.
What brought him from his thoughts is a knock on the door, a woman, her skin almost as dark as her own pupils, stood in a orange bride'smaids dress. Two french braids ended at her ankles, pink glasses curled up like a cat's eye.
Meenah
"Oh my Ruf-i-oh! Who knew you cleaned up so well?!"
His face turned red at her comment. The tuxedo fit shitily. His gave him a wedgie that he bet Meenah's thong envied.
"Thanks...Meenah..." Rufioh half wishes she'd go away. As much as he loved her, he doesn't enjoy her company right now.
"Oh! They're starting! Come on!" She grabbed his wrist, Rufioh's brain decided to just quit. He cursed himself, seeing the bunches of people, his family, Horuss' family, some friends, his face flushed of all color.
He stood, he knew the man in front of him was Horuss... But it didn't seem like it.
The pastor beside him began speaking, all he heard was the muffled speech of him, his eyes trailed around, he spotted his dad and brother. Tavros looked so cute in the white Tux. He smiled at Tav, the little boy's eyes brightened and he grinned.
Rufioh chuckled at that and went back to looking at Horuss, he took in his lover. Horuss' hair was down, it only ever is down if Rufioh took it out when they made love. Then there was this special occasion. It neatly came down in curls to his waist. The suit strained on Horuss' muscles but not in a way that looked bad,
As masculine Horuss was, his figure was feminine, his waist dipped in. Rufioh loved that dip.
When he realized Horuss had finished speaking, Rufioh smiled and began to say "I do". But that never came. It never came as he yanked his hands from Horuss and hurled all over both their shoes.
There was a ton of dry heaving, Rufioh hadn't eaten much before hand. The room was silent.
Rufioh sniffed, trying to hold tears back. He was beyond embarrassed. He was mortified.
Horuss spoke to the priest then knelt to help Rufioh up, Meenah had rushed over too. They helped the man to a room and sat him down.
Horuss left to go get Rufioh some fresh clothing from the house.
"So Rufioh... this is..definantly abnormal..."
The man nodded. Meenah crossed her legs and inspected Rufioh. She scanned him. She jabbed her finger at his chest, causing Rufioh to shriek.
"So... I have a theory. And you're not gonna like it."
Rufioh nodded like a chump. Cowering in his seat. Meenah handed the boy a thin pink stick. "Try this...tell me the results."
Horuss had gotten back, handing Rufioh a small pile of clothing. He changed his clothing. It was still nice clothing too. The priest came in a hour later and finished their vows and had them sign things.
Rufioh shook the whole time.
~?~
After the wedding, Horuss and Rufioh escaped back home. In less the five minutes, Rufioh was backed up against the bedroom wall, gasping for breath. The jacket and button up became snapped open under Horuss' strength. Rufioh gasped, any pleasure once there sinking into self hatred no matter how heated and hot it felt.
His hands moved to Horuss' shoulders, attempting to steady himself in any way possible. He could feel the wet sucking at his neck, but as always, he began to just zone out and let Horuss do what he wants.
He'd never let Horuss know how he actually felt about this.
He wondered, if he was pregnant, what he'd name it. He was only 19 so this was some of the scariest shit he's ever attempted to pull off-
"You like that baby?"
Rufioh was pulled from his thoughts because of that one word.
"Baby."
The barrier came crashing.
No no no no no no no no no, Horuss why'd you do that?!
Rufioh's system had failed, he was 1,000% aware of what was happening and more.
His binder was gone again, but he felt the tight constriction of /something/ in his chest.
He knew Horuss was gentle but it felt too rough, bruising almost, like sand paper in him. Scratching away at the walls.
He lost it.
He started sobbing.
And good god did he feel bad.
For some reason he expected Horuss to keep going, even though he knew Horuss would never use him.
But Horuss didn't even finish his breath before he pulled out and pulled Rufioh to his chest, rubbing his curved back.
"What's wrong honey?"
Rufioh just thought, he never responded the question his lover asked.
Sometimes Rufioh did enjoy the sex. He wouldn't zone out and interacted back. But with the possibility of a baby, it didn't feel good. Plus the child created a permanent cloud of dysphoria in him. And it didn't feel good.
It felt like a scratchym throat, painful but not scarring, also very annoying.
He felt a pair of hands on his chest, cupping it.
"Horuss!" He yelped, now he was just pissed too.
"S-sorry! I'm sorry- I wasn't sure what you were feeling and- and you just stared at me!" Horuss' excuse was cheap and what he did was sick.
"Just- I want to go to bed.." Rufioh pulled himself away from horuss and just rolled to face away.
Horuss got up and headed to the bathroom. Rufioh watched his lover, the muscle move under the man's skin. His long, straight, hair draped down his back, down to the curve of his ass.
Rufioh always had contemplated about Horuss' Native American genes, they were so prominent. He couldn't decide if the fact he never grew facial was good or bad.
Rufioh had to shave. He couldn't grow a beard but it was noticeable.
Horuss stood when he pissed, so Rufioh could see just about everything. Their bathroom was small so Horuss' 6'5 stature was a lot for the small bathroom.
When Horuss finished pissing Rufioh was already passed out asleep.
~?~
Rufioh stared at the test in his hand.
He hadn't tried it yet. The mystery in his body still there.
What if he was?
How would he tell Horuss?
How would he tell his family?
He had /just/ gotten married-
And they'd put two and two together...concluding he had gotten pregnant before.
If he was, he was far enough along to put weight on.
He looked down at his belly, the rolls slowly turning into a hard dome.
Who was he kidding, he knew he was pregnant. He was just hoping, on the small chance, that he wasn't.
He mumbled a small prayer then took the test.
Fuck.
It shone positive.
He cursed, sobbing.
He sat there, sobbing.
Horuss knocked on the door.
"Rufioh?..."
Sobbing
Sobbing
Sobbing
Sobbing
Sobbing
Sobbing
Sobbing
Sobbing
Rufioh woke up in a hospital.
The monitors were beeping
"Rufioh?-"
He could hear the deep voice of his lover.
It feels like it's all anyone says anymore
'Rufioh' 'Rufioh' 'Rufioh'
The round eyes of the man opened, peering at the man. The first thing he noticed was Horuss' hair, french braided back, coming around over his shoulder.
Then the red puffy eyes.
And wet face
Then the stinging pain in his belly.
His hands went down to his stomach to feel where the wound was. The panic-
Like a blackhole in his lower stomach,
Pins and needles
He was scared
Scared that he killed his child.
His child.
Horuss was staring at Rufioh, finally he decided to open his mouth.
"H-horuss-"
His lover started sobbing, he hugged him, hugged the man tight.
Rufioh wasn't a man. He was still a boy. Only nineteen.
"I-I'm pregnant- I'm pregnant Horuss- I- I'm sorry- I-" He began sobbing.
Horuss just cradled the boy.
"It's okay honey... it's okay..you'll be okay... the baby's okay too.. it's alright"
Rufioh just buried his face in Horuss' chest.
Horuss left kisses all over Rufioh's face, trying to calm him.
The little boy's face became wet and sticky with snot, tears and spit.
~#~
Rufioh sat in bed. He's in his own filth. Three more months have passed. Three more months to go.
"C'mon honey, lay down!"
Rufioh ignored his lover and just sat.
"Lets go to dinner then.. please just give me something.. a response? Anything!"
Rufioh finally responded, he hasn't really spoken since his hospital visit.
"Dinner sounds good."
His throat hurt after speaking so little after so long of silence, he sipped from his large water bottle he kept at his bedside.
Horuss' face lit up, he sat up
"I'm glad you're finally deciding to be a human being!" He put an arm around his lover, his other hand placed upon the boy's swollen belly.
Rufioh's hand moved to on-top Horuss'.
"Y-yeah.." he smiled slightly.
Horuss kisses his cheek, stroking his hair
"Can you stand?..."
Rufioh nodded and peeled himself off the bed, he wobbled a bit. His hands held under his belly as if the child would just fall out.
He waddled over to his dresser and found a pair of jeans, attempting to pull them on. Horuss ran over to assist.
As soon as they got Rufioh dressed they headed out to a fancy dinner. Rufioh was finally smiling.
Rufioh was finally eating a full meal.
He ate it like he hadn't eaten in weeks, Horuss had to tap him to slow down.
"Thank you doll.." he smiled and kissed Horuss on the cheek.
"Your welcome honey"
Horuss paid and helped Rufioh to the car.
~%~
Horuss and Rufioh sat in the tub, it was a tight fit but neither cared. Rufioh laid between Horuss' legs. Horuss gently scrubbed Rufioh's hair, it was down to Rufioh's chin after the amount time it went uncut.
"You need a hair cut and a dye touch up"
"Yeah I do... maybe tomorrow..."
"That'll work"
Horuss pushes Rufioh's hair aside to get to his neck, leaving small little kisses. His hands traveling up the chocolatey skin to his shoulders, massaging them.
Rufioh let out a moan, it felt amazing. His hands rubbed at his stretched stomach.
"That feel nice?"
"Hell yeah doll.."
Horuss kept it up, eventually his hands moved down to pinch Rufioh's nipple, causing the man to moan out louder.
"H-horuss-"
"Yeah?"
"Keep going doll-"
So Horuss did, he moved his hands down to cup Rufioh's crotch, then both hands moved to his thighs. Rufioh stayed in the moment, enjoying it. He even rolled his hips for more.
Horuss' middle finger dipped into Rufioh's folds, a heavy breath fell out of the man's mouth.
Horuss boosted the boy up and onto his dick, which was above average. Normally he was zoned out for this, but today he was all aware.
Just the tip alone almost made Rufioh lose it. It felt all to good. He clinged to the sides of the tub
"D-doll- oh god- slow down-"
He breathed, slow, steady breaths. His lover slowly easing him onto it.
Horuss' warm hands held onto Rufioh's hips. He rubbed Rufioh's lower back until he was comfortable.
It was a big take.
Horuss eventually started moving the smaller man, Rufioh held himself up using the tub walls.
The pace picked up, Rufioh was soon loosing breath and Horuss was getting tired. The large hands of his lover trailed past Rufioh's thighs to where they connected, the tight fit over working the muscles in Rufioh, but he didn't care, he loved the kisses along his neck more.
He knew Horuss was leaving hickies but he didn't care.
He gasped out at the feeling of his clit being rubbed, and massaging the skin stretched around Horuss.
He looked down at them, it was weird but oddly hot seeing himself.
He was quite swollen there, his belly making it hard to see
Even weirder he saw and felt himself clenching, it just turned him on more.
Then he felt it, the best part.
The smaller boy leaned forward more, feeling every inch of Horuss' dick move with, he was too sensitive to not feel it.
The squeezing, the first time in forever he came, he leaned too far forward he smacked his head on the faucet but he just held his head there, gasping for breath.
He drooled, it just felt amazing.
Even more amazing when Horuss came along with him, the warm feeling contouring with his cool insides, it felt way too good.
Rufioh awoke again in bed, laying next to his lover.
Seeing the smile of Horuss made him feel all fuzzy in his stomach. He cuddled up to his lover, Horuss gently stroked the exposed belly of his lover. It was turning a slight shade of purple now, all bruised and gross.
Well Rufioh called it gross but Horuss thought it was the best thing ever. He loved the fact he was going to be a dad.
Rufioh was just scared, the thought was terrifying.
"What're we gonna name it?"
"Shouldn't we figure out he gender?"
"No way in hell am I going to the doctor. I feel dumb."
"You're not dumb, Rufioh."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was around 3 O'Clock when it started.
The squeezing,
It felt tiring and it was just painful.
Rufioh's fingers dug into Horuss' arm, causing him to wake up as well.
"Rufioh- what the heck-"
Rufioh's head hung, he was just in so much pain.
"Fucking-"
"Fuck!"
He felt it again, he was well over due, it was about time. Maybe nearly ten months.
"I'm going into labor fucker-"
Horuss shot up, he picked his phone up and dialed a number, it wasn't the hospital, they agreed not to go.
Rufioh was too busy trying to breath to hear what Horuss was saying.
He decided that maybe the best thing was to focus on Horuss' speaking
"Be here soon..." it faded out,
"Contractions..." he started hearing his heart beat in his ears,
"Risks"
'Risks'
There was a risk.
His mom died of complications,
Rufioh wasn't the healthiest, there were tons of risks.
Hell he could give birth to a still born child.
There was that from his testosterone. He hated it.
He shouldn't even be carrying this damn child.
He felt someone slapping at his face
"Rufioh! Rufioh, come back dammit!"
Rufioh brought his attention back to this cold reality.
He realized he was sitting in water.
Oh
O h . . .
Another agonizing clench
He gave up
He started scream sobbing
His face squeezed in an ugly, wet mess. His hair stuck to his face with sweat.
It wasn't pretty. It was down right ugly.
Rufioh's stomach was just too big for his body, like some sick bobble head. His face squeezed and contorted into a mix of a babies' and an adult man's face. Unshaven and his hair was matted and sticky.
His septum piercing was probably horribly infected with snot.
"HORUSS I FUCKING HATE YOU"
Was all he had to say about the other man in the room.
Horuss had called Rufioh's father.
Summoner.
The man had no idea his son was carrying an abomination until now.
"D-dad- DAD FUCKING- /LEAVE/"
Summoner just shook his head, Horuss spoke but all Rufioh could hear was the pounding of his headache and heartbeat.
He watched his dad walk over and place a hand on his forehead, forcing Rufioh to lay back down.
He was shaking by now.
He noticed something he dreaded seeing.
Tavros.
"T-tav- D-don't look... please.."
He didn't need to scar his baby brother like this... it was also embarassing.
Summoner just shook his head.
"Tavros watch, this is what happens when you're not careful."
He could see his baby brother's face full of disgust and fear. A lot of fear.
He took his chances and reached for Tavros' hand. both boys were shaky but Tavros held his hand.
Horuss paced, he had no clue what he was doing, he did the 'smart' thing.
He searched how to deliver a baby on wikipedia.
The only reason he wasn't demanding to take Rufioh to the hospital was because they both feared discrimination.
"HORUSS I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU DON'T HURRY YOUR ASS UP!"
All of Rufioh's muscles clenched. Summoner had gotten him laying on his back with his legs up and bent.
Tav sat beside Rufioh's head, holding his hand.
Horuss had finished reading the instructions, he walked over and stood between Rufioh's legs. He just stared at his husband's clothed crotch.
Step one is probably to actually remove the pants.
So he did...and got kicked in the face.
Rufioh just wasn't cooperating. He was all over the place, screaming at one moment and withering in pain the next. He kept closing his legs so Horuss couldn't see.
If he was being honest, he never had really actually /looked/ at Rufioh down there.
This was new..
There was barely any flat part of Rufioh's hips anymore. It all went into the curve of his belly. It was like a swollen balloon was taped to Rufioh.
He didn't see anything else except Rufioh's cunt. He had nothing else to say at that...
He looked at Tavros. Who was just staring.
"Tav."
Tavros snapped from staring
"O-oh- yeah?..."
"Stop staring at your brother's...stuff."
The kid's face turned bright red, Rufioh was just in his own land to even know what was going on.
Rufioh had stopped his screaming and was now all red faced, red eyed, and staring at the wall. His hands resided on his chest.
Again- Rufioh was pulled from his peace by a blood curdling scream. His hands flying up to his head, his body contorted. Sweat drenched his hair.
"Horuss- Horuss please make it stop-" Rufioh sobbed, no tears came, he was out.
Horuss had Summoner take over when he rushed to his lover's side, taking Rufioh's hands.
"It's okay baby...you'll be okay I promise.." he kissed Rufioh's temple. "I promise..."
He stood again, Rufioh squeezed his hands tightly as another wave of pain came.
"Rufioh I have to go help-...please, You have Tav..." he smiles, it was just for trying to get Rufioh to calm.
"F-fine-fine you asshole-"
Horuss brushed it off, he relieved Summoner of looking at his son's crotch, he checked again, he gasped but almost puked.
He could see his child.
The very top of it's head
It was gross and veiny and pink, but he knew it was..
It also hurt. His husband was suffering immensely.
Horuss peeked at Tavros. The boy looked shocked, his eyes locked to his older brother's cunt.
He didn't even bother to pull Tavros away. Horuss puts his hands on Rufioh's legs and pushed back.
"Alright honey, I'll need you to push okay?...
"NO! No no no! It hurts too much! No!"
He was basically screaming.
"Rufioh if you want this over then you have to!"
"FUCK. OFF."
Horuss clenched and unclenched his fists, he was getting frustrated.
"Rufioh please! Just, take a deep breath..." the one who spoke that was the youngest. Tavros.
Rufioh listened, he nodded and slowly took a breath in. The sweat coating his face, made him shiny.
Eventually Rufioh attempted to push, groaning all while, the pop sounded.
"Oh! Oh honey I got the head!" He looked at Rufioh, there was blood on his hands and the bed.
Rufioh nodded, he was just tense and trying to focus on staying conscious.
"JUST GET THE FUCKER OUT"
Horuss flinched but nodded and continued, he eventually got the child free from Rufioh's body, he laid the baby on the bed and cut the cord.
Rufioh laid there, his breathing so rough and heavy that his ribcage almost showed.
Horuss looked at the baby, it's face just as contorted as Rufioh's was. Crying just as loud.
It was a fat baby, it's skin was flushed pink but also had Rufioh's tint. That's all he could tell. The blood mixed with Rufioh's body fluids and junk.
"Um...Horuss..." Tavros tapped the man.
"Ye-" he look at Rufioh's more prominent space, blood. A lot of it.
Horuss grabbed some towels, loosing blood was normal.
But he started becoming concerned when the bleeding didn't stop.
"Summoner- start the car, get Tav in, I've got Rufioh.."
Horuss took the child, wrapping it in a towel, handing it to Rufioh. He took the sheets Rufioh laid on and wrapped Rufioh in them and then ran Rufioh out to the car.
He got in the back, holding his husband, adjusting him so the baby was held to Rufioh's chest, skin to skin.
"You're okay Rufioh...you'll be just fine.." he kisses Rufioh's face, which had gotten blood smeared on it from Horuss' hands.
The baby was screaming, Horuss was sobbing, Tavros looked like he had seen a ghost, it was a mess.
"Babe, stay with me... okay?...please..." Horuss patted The face of his lover. Which just hung, his eyes half lidded. He grabbed Horuss' hand.
"I love you, Horuss...
Take care of our baby."
Horuss stared at his husband, he shook him.
"RUFIOH!"
He started scream sobbing, holding his husband and babe close, the child crying as well.
"DRIVE SUMMONER FUCKING DRIVE"
Rufioh saw lights. Loud, bright, obnoxious lights. Shining as if the sun itself was on him.
"Anesthesia"
"Internal bleeding"
"Waking up"
His head pounded and throat burned.
He went back into the dark space of sleep.
—
Rufioh was back in his eleven year old body. All fat and his hair was long and wavey. He sat staring at the bottle in his hand.
He sucked in a breath and chugged it.
It tasted bitter.
Like a goo that stuck. He felt it go through his intestines, all the way into his belly. Although it's what would relieve him of this awful place. Like a saint.
A saint in a bottle.
"RANI WHAT THE FUCK" he felt a pair of hands grab him.
"Da-" hands fisted on his stomach and pressed.
It burned and was painful, he puked. Vomiting onto his desk and the floor.
His father made him clean it up.
At thirteen he looked almost like a mexican pornstar.
No one was allowed to cut their hair. This was a rule due to his father being ex military and for some reason he liked hair.
"No buzzed cuts" he'd say when Rufioh asked for a chop.
So it just laid long against his chest and back. A lot of the times it got swept to over one shoulder.
A huge dip was at his waist. All his shirts stuck to him. He hated it, his breasts stretched the shirt embarrassingly. It all felt gross and weird.
Which is why he started disassociating. His brain completely stopped recognizing his body as his own.
It got too much and scared him so he sat in his bathroom.
He finally did it. He closed his eyes and dragged the razor down his wrist digging in as much as he could. The trail of blood following. His skin opening up for the piece of metal.
His wrists screamed in protest, his brain set off many alarms. The pit in his stomach grew.
He dragged the other wrist, he collapsed.
At fifteen he had hung himself.
Tavros has watched.
It's not going any further than that.
—
The one event Rufioh still thinks about is when he was fourteen. He was sitting at a park alone, swinging. He was chewing on a beef stick. No one ever came to the park so he didn't care. How he looked.
Until he saw the man he knows and loves. The only person he ever trusted.
Ever.
He always had long hair. He always kept it in that french braid. He used to wear a feather in his hair that his grandfather gave him. Which was the person who practically raised him.
"Hey" a voice spoke, Rufioh's head turned so fast. The first person he'd seen at the park ever.
"O-oh- uh- hey..."
Horuss sat in the swing next to him. "I'm new around here..." he smiled.
His chin was big and his nose stuck out, but his smiles was gorgeous, his face was too.
Rufioh suddenly was way too conscious of the beef in his hand so he shoves it in his mouth.
Horuss just started laughing. Really loudly. Rufioh blushed.
They chatted for the rest of night.
Those chats turned into cuddling.
Which turned into kissing.
Which became secrets and bad things.
—
Horuss sat in the bar. His newborn baby was left home by herself. The man drank. He spent most of the money that was meant for Rufioh's hospital bill on drinks.
He was pretty wasted.
"Hey sexy" he felt a hand on his waist. He was sitting on a stool at the bar. The man's touch was warm. Unlike the cold touch of Rufioh. He last saw his husband two days ago.
He turned around to look at the man. "Hey.." he looked at him, the man was a little shorter, but muscular as well. His hair was slicked back, showing off his prominent cheek bones. He was decked out in a greaser-like outfit. Right down to the expensive leather jacket.
"Come back to my place if you're looking for something fun..." his voice trailed off musically and he pushed Horuss' long hair to the side to breath on his neck.
Horuss' pants got tight, the breath on his neck, the warm hands on his hips, the weight alone of the person excited him.
"W-what's your name.. then I'll go.." he put a hand on his crotch, it hurt.
"Cronus
Yours?"
"Horuss..."
He turned and started kissing him.
It felt great.
He hadn't even touched a person like this in forever, Rufioh just wanted to get fingered and then would fall asleep.
And this man had a dick.
One of the reasons he even was gay.
His back pressed against the bar counter, the lights were low, no one would really care anyways.
It got heated and deep, his hands stumbling to get under Cronus' shirt.
He got the shirt un tucked and just ran his hands up it.
Cronus pulled Horuss away and grabbed his wrist, dragging him out the the car.
The drive home was agonizing. Horuss was trying not to nut all over the dashboard or internally explode.
Stumbling into Cronus' house almost ended with someone getting a concussion but they avoided it.
He found himself topless and pants-less. His boxers were intact but Cronus was already close to peeling them off.
It felt so nice to get taken care of for once.
Cronus stood and slowly pulled
His pants off, running his hands over his abs along his v-line. Horuss was almost drooling, this man was absolutely handsome.
He pulled the man down again for another kiss, tongue was way too involved but he didn't care.
He felt Cronus grind against him, the feeling was so amazing, he threw his head back. His boxers got yanked off. He was flipped to his knees.
The cool feeling of lube was almost enough to set him off, the finger inserted in. Cronus' fingers were thick.
Cronus pulled the rest of his clothing off, lubed himself up, and grabbed Horuss' thin hips.
The feeling was great, he never bottomed after Rufioh became pregnant or barely before that even. Cronus was thick, just about average but completely satisfied Horuss. His arms already gave out and his face dropped into the bed,
Cronus moaned, the man beneath was perfectly tight, Horuss thought as well.
The bed shook, both were sweaty, the repeated motion creating noise to cover all the basic noises of the house.
Horuss came first, his ass clenched, his body shook, his eyes rolled back, he almost screamed.
Cronus pulled out and wiped himself off with a shirt, he was still horny. He grabbed Horuss' face and shoved himself right into his mouth.
Horuss let his happen, he sucked, rubbing what he couldn't get to with his hands. Wet sticky noises hung, Horuss looked up at Cronus, who just stared, not giving three shits about the man who was sucking him off like a needy bitch.
When he did come he held Horuss' head on, making sure it was all swallowed.
Horuss washed up, Cronus was just laying back in bed, Horuss joined.
Horuss fell asleep laying on Cronus' chest happily.
Rufioh came home two weeks later. By then the house was clean and Ellie was happily cooing. Horuss had gotten his shit together. The room was set up and Ellie was well dressed.
"Hey...Horuss.." Rufioh smiled and hugged his lover.
"Hey honey.." horuss rubbed the man's back.
That night Rufioh finally got to see his baby. Horuss was getting ready for bed so Rufioh was left to care for her.
She looked scarily like Rufioh.
He lifted her onto the changing table and changed her diaper.
Every time he looked at her, he kept remembering the birth.
Burning. It's what it felt like. All the wrong parts working at once.
His breasts had gotten so large his binder didn't fit. It was also way too sensitive. He didn't own any sports bras so he was stuck in large shirts.
The fabric chafed Rufioh's nipples. He was tempted to just slap band-aids on.
It was Mexican porno all over again.
And he lactated all the time. It was messy and tiring and always, always annoying.
Rufioh looked at his baby girl. She was just staring at him. Her eyes were big and almond shaped. Her hair was scarce but he could tell it was brown. She had ugly veins running all over her face. And a ton of blush spotted her.
He held her close to his chest. He couldn't look at her without the pain of giving birth rushing over. Or dysphoria. He started crying. He wanted her gone. Away. Far, far away.
He felt something pulling at his chest, he looked down to see her attempting to eat. Rufioh pulled up his shirt to allow her. It was uncomfortable.
[A.N. For full experience put Sleep Like a Baby Tonight by U2 for my thought during writing this ig]
He felt a hand on his arm.
"Hey baby" Horuss' hands trailed up Rufioh's arm. "You look tired" he kissed Rufioh's neck softly.
"I'm very tired.." he sighed and switched breasts with the baby. He rather not look ridiculous at least.
-listen to Ophelia by The Lumineers ig-
"I understand, it's okay... you just got back and are taking care of a baby now." He rubbed Rufioh's arm. The baby started screaming.
Rufioh looked like he wanted to kill her.
Which in all honesty he did want to kill her. He hated her. He could feel his stomach getting angry, he felt nauseated.
He put her back in her crib and left. He went to the bedroom. He shut himself in the bathroom. He stood in the mirror. He was bloated and looked pregnant still. Not nearly as bad before though. He had acne all over again, it spotted his cheeks and forehead. His eyes were very sunken and his hair was almost to his shoulders now. It grew fast.
He just looked like a woman now. His hormones long since been forgotten.
He pulled his shirt off along with his pants and iced underwear. He pissed himself when ever he moved too much and just couldn't hold much in or down. It wasn't pretty. He probably put on at least 15 pounds from his pregnancy.
Even more stretch marks lined him. And his breasts were bruised. His crotch was way unshaven. Even Horuss shaved when it got too long there but Rufioh had just completely left it forgotten. He pulled one of the curls, watching it spring back against him.
He slammed his fists on the counter and just screamed. He screamed his heart out, Horuss came running. Grabbing him and trying to calm him. But he just kept screaming, tears ran down his face. He tried to escape the prison of his body. Trying to run away from the skin that hung, the skin that encased him.
It felt like parasites crawled in him. The horrifying terror that was real life. The parasite being everything.
The baby.
Horuss.
His family.
His body.
The house.
The scratchy, painful touch of Horuss.
He tried to run away from his body but it stuck, panic rose. It blossomed in his chest, rooting it's way down in a nervous vein of panic into his stomach.
Rufioh came to, Horuss was rocking him on the floor. Both sat. Rufioh was safely held against Horuss' chest, just like a baby. He was shaking, and his hair was drenched in sweat.
He stared into space.
Horuss realized Rufioh was awake and kissed the top of his head.
"It's okay... you're okay now honey..." he rubbed his back as he rocked. Let him calm down a bit more before picking him up and setting him in the warm bath he prepped.
Rufioh looked at Horuss drunkly, his eyes half lidded. He started crying again. It seemed like all he did.
Horuss came back with the baby, she was bare. He placed her against Rufioh's chest and knelt beside the tub, watching the two people he loved most.
Ellie was pretty much asleep, Rufioh let her sleep ontop of his breasts.
"I'm going to go start dinner" Horuss smiled and kissed Rufioh's temple.
Rufioh nodded, Horuss stood and left.
Rufioh looked at Ellie again, he could feel the stitches on himself, each one put carefully by the surgeon. Apparently he had be under for hours, the end resulting in them finally removing the uterus. Which he was grateful for.
But that was it, the rest left was there to be stared at by any prying person.
Rufioh pulled Ellie off himself and gently laid her in the water, his hands and arms supporting her. Ellie just stared up at Rufioh.
He saw nothing in her, no happiness, no joy. Nothing.
Rufioh let go.
He let Ellie fall into the water. She was screaming, her eyes screwed shut.
Rufioh just stared. He had no more tears to cry, so he just made ugly wheezing noise.
She stopped struggling.
He pulled her from the water and held her against himself, he couldn't scream, it hurt too much.
Horuss came in, and kneeled again.
"What's wrong?.."
He moved Rufioh's arm to look at Ellie.
Rufioh just shrugged and handed her to Horuss then stood. He pulled the plug from the water and started to shower.
Horuss was speechless. He shook Ellie, trying to wake her.
"Rufioh you didn't- RUFIOH WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!"
The man just stayed in the shower. Hiding from his lover that he angered.
He shook, he was scared, he slowly turned the water off and stepped out. Avoiding eye contact with him.
Horuss had wrapped the baby in a blanket, he rocked her gently, he say on the toilet.
"I can't believe you did this Rufioh... why?!"
Rufioh just stared, he toweled off and walked to the bedroom
Rufioh got dressed in a hoodie and some sweat pants. He didn't bother with underwear or his binder. His body felt heavy.
"Horuss you don't understand... she's a pain.." he spoke softly. His voice shook horribly though.
"Rufioh- you must understand she was just a baby! Barely even a month! And you- you slaughtered her! You- you murdered her! YOU MURDERED HER." Horuss' eyes were wide and he held Ellie close. She was still warm.
Rufioh just clenched his jaw and looked at Horuss.
"Fuck you."
That was it. That was enough to set Horuss off. He laid Ellie down on the bed and went for Rufioh. Punching him right in the cheek.
It hit with a loud crack. Rufioh just stood in shock but Horuss wasn't done. He was adrenaline filled. He grabbed the old rocking chair that always sat in the corner and tore off the leg of it. It was supported by metal.
He whacked Rufioh again with it. Just hitting. Over and over and over.
Rufioh was on the floor by now. He'd already swallowed a few teeth and his head dripped bloody. Ribs were snapped as well. He lay on the floor.
Horuss realized what he'd done. Staring at the boy he loved. The man he knew as well as himself.
He didn't really know him anymore.
He wasn't the boy with the sparkle in his eyes anymore. That left years ago. But he never laughed anymore.
The old cuts the lined his arms had reopened. He even saw the blade in his drawer not too long ago.
The boy from the park was gone.
He fell to his knees next to his lover. Rufioh was almost gone, his breathing was shallow. But he reached for Rufioh's hand.
"It's not your fault, Doll..."
Horuss stared at him. The tears blurring his vision.
"I-it isn't yours either- not one bit baby... not at all it isn't your fault-" he sobbed. Rufioh was gone.
His family was gone. He regretted everything.
This all could have been solved by one simple abortion.
But that's illegal.
They say Horuss ended up burying both in the backyard. No one went looking for Rufioh Eve Nitram.
Or Ellie.
If you walk up to the house, you can still see a faint image of Horuss holding Ellie in the baby's room. Even though Horuss had commit suicide of his own years ago.
And that's the story of the house on 21st Avenue in Gruene, Texas.
1-800-273-8255 -Suicide hotline
18004224453 -Child Abuse helpline