Disclaimer: I do not own the Walkind Dead. Obviously some of the dialog is right from the show. Just borrowing, not stealing. Don't sue me, please.
Author note: Just a one shot that was eatting away at me because I'm still not over 'Coda'. Pardon any grammar errors. This is set during 'Conquer', Daryl's thoughts in the car, with flashbacks in italics.
'We gotta go, Beth,' the memory flashed through his thoughts, almost silencing the noise outside the car. The groans and increasingly aggressive attempts to get to him and his partner by the undead weren't strong enough to keep his memories of her away.
Nothing was.
He hadn't know it then, but grabbing her before fleeing the prison was the best decision he had ever made. Amongst the smoke of the burning landscape they had all called home for so long, he saw her. Panicked and looking desperately for her sister or the children, he didn't know.
After those four words he had spoke to her, they didn't talk for a long time. Days, even. He couldn't speak, a constant pressure on his chest threatening to suffocate him. If he opened his mouth, only strangled noises came out. It hurt too much.
'I'm not staying in this suck-ass camp!', arm raised in a defiant gesture that he hadn't expected from her.
"Daryl," Aaron said, breaking him from his thoughts, "we've got to figure something out."
He watched as Aaron's head whipped from side to side, searching the car for anything that could possibly help. After finding the note written by the cars previous visitors Daryl knew he wouldn't find anything.
'I know you look at me and just see another dead girl!' her strong voice pushing to the forefront of his mind again.
He closed his eyes and savored the memory, he often thought of that day. Outside, screaming at eachother, a little drunk, and laying it all out. It had been long overdue and they both needed it.
But that's not why he savored it.
Her tiny arms holding impossibly tight around his waist and her forhead pressed firmly against his back. Her grip never faltering as he cried.
There, he thought-
The car shook with the impact of the dead surrounding them, startling him and he felt the ghost sensation of her arms around his waist fade.
No! His mind screamed. Come back!
"Daryl," Aaron said again.
'You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone Daryl Dixon,' if truer words had been spoken before he didn't know about it. He missed her so bad-
He shook his head. Can't go there. Not yet.
He looked at Aaron and that's when he saw it. Fear. Real and genuine fear. The fear of leaving someone too soon, the fear you feel when you still have something left to lose.
Maybe that's why Daryl had felt calm nearly the entire time he was in the car.
He had nothing left.
The realization didn't hit him as hard as it maybe should have.
The group would be fine. Of course they would miss him. He was family and they would feel his loss. But they would be fine.
He had served his purpose. He had gotten them to the walls of Alexandria, they were as safe as they could be nowadays. The boy and the baby, they would have a place now.
He smirked.
"What?" Aaron asked, watching him.
"I came out here cuz' I felt all closed up back there...and even now," Daryl looked at the walkers that were seperated from him by only a little bit of metal and glass, "still feels more like me than back at them houses." He shook his head, "that's pretty messed up, huh?"
"You were trying."
"I had to," he replied, instanly.
Beth would have wanted him too.
"No, you didn't," Aaron said. "Listen, I saw you with your group out there on the road...then you went out on our own by the barn...storm hit, and you led your people to safety." Aaron held Daryl's gaze, "That was it. I knew I had to bring you people back." Aaron paused before continuing, "You were right. Should have kept looking for the guy in the poncho. I shouldn't have given up. You didn't."
'What changed your mind?,' she whispered in the candle light, eyes never leaving his.
Daryl let the sensation of that memory fill him as he reached for his cigarette and put it in his mouth, he had no doubts about what he needed to do now.
"I'll go," he said, lighting the cigarette with one flick of his zippo. He inhaled deep, "I'll lead them out, you make a break for the fence."
He exhaled and he couldn't even feel the burn of the smoke. It didn't matter, it was almost time.
"No, no, no," Aaron protested quickly. "This was my fault."
"Wasn't a question. This ain't your decision. Ain't nobodys fault..." Daryl inhaled his cigarette again and closed his eyes. "Just let me finish my smoke first."
Fault. It always came back to that. He shook his head lightly and pushed those thoughts away. He only had a little time left. He couldn't spend those precious moments remembering the car pulling away in the dead of night or the warm spray of blood that hit his face when the gun went off.
"No," Aaron said firmly. And for the first time, Daryl was happy his memories had been interrupted. He couldn't think of her like that, the completely dead weight in his arms as he held her close to his chest for the last time. "You don't draw them away. We fight. We go for the fence. We do it together. Alright? Whether we make it or not we do it together. We have to."
Daryl stares in Aaron's direction but he can only see her face.
There she is. She's turning the corner now, pushing Carol in a wheel chair. Her face is cut up and she has a cast on her forearm. And there has never been anyone more beautiful in the world.
Never.
'You're going to be the last man standing,' it's her voice. That strong and sweet voice that was made for singing. Of all the things in the world he can shut out and ignore, her voice wasn't one of them.
Aaron still hasn't looked away from him and Daryl blinks hard.
It wasn't fair. It's wasn't goddamn fair. He was ready, he was done. So done. But, he knew. He knew Aaron wouldn't survive unless they did this together. He wouldn't make it back to Erik.
Erik would replay the memories of their years together in his head. He would see his face in the crowd. Hear his voice when he was cooking, or laying in bed.
'There are still good people, Daryl,' she says.
"Alright," he finds himself saying, although it's really her that is speaking. He picks up his weapon before he can change his mind. "Ready?...Go on three. One...two...thr-"
The window next to Aaron's face nearly shatters from the impact of the walker head that had just been smashed on the otherside.
"Go!" Daryl shouts and pushes his door open.
He fights. He fights and stabs and pushes and he can almost feel her smile.
The fence is closed and Aaron and Daryl turn to their savior, calmly wiping off his bloodied staff, "That was... Thank you! I'm Aaron...this is Daryl."
"Morgan," the man replied.
"Why?" Daryl asked, although he had a feeling he already knew the answer.
"Why?" Morgan asked, a lightness reaching his eyes. "Because all life is precious, Daryl."
'Oh,' her voice echoed in his head.
A/N: Thanks for sticking with it until the end. Again, I don't own TWD.