Kissing the angel goodnight
(Disclaimed)
Love…It's a strange word…If you ask someone what love is, they can never answer it completely and with ease. Most people would say that love is that special feeling you have someone, the wonderful feeling you get while the butterflies are fluttering in your stomach… but no one ever speaks of the pain that love can bring, the fear it can spread, and the depression you can go to when you wonder…Do they love you back? Do they even care? Will they care of the pain you go through before you finally sigh and speak the truth?
Ah…pain…that's a word I know well in the corner of love. It seems that everyone I learn to love deeply goes away…they die…I cannot speak more…it pains my heart to think of such things…
Let's speak of a different subject…. Love seems to be sent down from an angel. I have known quite a few of those in my twenty-eight years of life. Being a horrible man of sin, you wouldn't believe that for a while, but the truth is that I have seen many angels among me in my dreams….and before my very eyes.
An angel saved me from the demon in me, the slayer who cared less if he lived or died. Her name was Tomoe. Quiet and collected, she saved me with her love. Unfortunately, loving an angel has consequences…. The angel must return to heaven… That does not hurt as much as the fact that I am the one who sent her to her homeland by my own blade. My blade, my clothes, and my heart were stained with her blood, and, in her last minutes, she scarred me on the left cheek to make sure she was remembered… she succeeded….I remember her every day of my life.
Another angel….the one I found recently…was the wild angel Kaoru Kamiya. Ah, how sweet she is…. She took me into her home….after I spent eleven years walking aimlessly around Japan…searching for something…anything to ease the pain of the loss of my angel… I found it… another angel….
They are so different, Tomoe calm and cool like an autumn day, Kaoru wild and free like a summer breeze…and yet they are the same…They both love people…and I love both of them…but Kaoru will not know…because then…then I will lose her too…. Just like everyone else.
It's hard for me to believe now that I was ever scared, alone, crying into the dark with no one to comfort me…tell me everything was okay… I have so many friends now… Sanosuke Sagara, Megumi Takani, Yahiko Myojin, and more…Also, I mustn't forget my angel, Miss Kaoru…
I am no longer afraid of the world or the horror of my demon destroying it… I am safe in the arms of my friends and… I have two angels guarding me…one from above… and one always by my side…
Maybe someday now, I'll set aside my fear of being loved… I will tell Kaoru how I feel… and maybe….maybe…everything will be okay…but for now….all I can do is kiss her goodnight when she dreams away, a light kiss that barely feathers her soft lips. All I can do is return to my room and dream about Tomoe, and how it could have been, dwindling on the what-ifs in the past as if they are candles with small flames that won't go out…
Now, I will kiss my angel goodnight, then sleep as my angel kisses me…. Morning will come soon, and I have much to do.
So, if anyone is listening… I love you, Kaoru Kamiya… I love you, Tomoe Yukishiro… Stay with me, please… I can't live without you…
That I cannot…
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Mushy, waffy, romancy goodness! It's 11:57 PM…I just wrote this… man, I am so freakin' weird. ^-^ But that's okay… I figure Kenshin ponders a lot at night. A guy with that troubled a past can't sleep to easily… Hell, my life's been easy and I still have sleep trouble sometimes…. This guy must never sleep!
Anyways, Later.
Li'l Yahiko