Jak II – Nature Remix
Authored by Loki an' Applecrisp (feed us cheezits and we will worship you for 5 minutes)
Okay peoples, time fer disclaimer time; we own nothings! Mahah! Except for our charas, plots, and so forth; we are measly language students who speak German .o Fear usss
And, now, we present the grammar/punctuation deficient ficlet of dooom
Prologue
A ripple of relief shot through the dull classroom as the lunch bell shrieked in all its holy glory. 16-year-old Loki Lindemann immediately pounced from her desk and bolted out the half open door, breezing past security guards and fellow students, looking like nothing more than a blonde-headed blur.
On the other side of the hall, a similar story was taking place, 17-year-old Shannon "Applecrisp" Mullerleile was racing past any bodies that came in his way.
Quite abruptly the two collided smack in front of an open science room both collapsing with an, "Ach!"
Shannon slowly began to sit up, brushing away long strands of auburn hair, "Meine Brille…" he muttered patting the around the area, "MEINE BRILLE [1]!
Loki quietly raised a shattered pair of shattered Emo-styled glasses into Shannon's hands, her imploring emerald eyes reflecting his own ceruleans shrouded in distress.
"Eh…Es tut mir Leid [2], Applecrisp."
"Ja..."
It had happened many times before.
Loki helped guide the half-blind German exchange student into the empty class room, setting him down in a chair. Immediately Shannon began to rummage for his Spam hidden in the depths in his backpack.
"You and your spam." Loki mumbled under her breath as she set up her PS2, turning it on, and inserting a Jak II disc.
The menu loaded faster than it should have…and it looked…quite different…it was…alive?
The screen pulsed and warped, tendrils of light snaking about Loki's arms.
"What the Fuck?"
Applecrisp raised his head just in time to be sucked into the screen – Spam & all.
Chapter 1
Jak had just escaped from the Baron's prison with help from Daxter. He was just about to talk to a decrepit, crusty old man with a scruffy, mangy kid, when two solid objects crashed through the air.
It all happened in a blur, a Krimzon guard tanker full of a shipment of Dark Eco was hit by a humanoid object, veering it off course and sending it into a wall.
Jak shrugged and continued his angry stalk towards the old fart.
Loki screamed in fear of becoming a liquid once she hit the ground as she fell. A moment of clarity pierced through her panic, she glanced about for Shannon. She cringed as he hit the flank of a huge tanker and rolled pathetically to the ground. A devious, selfish thought hatched in her mind. To save her self from liquification, Loki used Applecrisp to break her fall.
Then the tanker hit the wall, and a dark ooze covered Applecrisp and Loki, saturating them in its dark ooziness.
"Ach…" muttered Applecrisp.
He stood up, knocking something lightweight off his back.
"Loki? Vhere...are you?" Applecrisp shouted.
"Ugnhh..." Loki said through a mouthful of dirt.
"I…zee...you...not…" Applecrisp cried, "I zee nozing..."
"Meh." Loki drew herself up, "Whoa…Crispy, when did you get tall – very tall…and…Goaty?!"
Loki looked down for a moment, and realized she was 2 feet above the ground, the situation very much akin to when Daxter found out his situation after being bathed in Dark Eco.
Jak was about to "talk" to the old man when he heard a shriek.
"Hey...'nother Ottsel!" Daxter yelled and scampered over to investigate things.
Jak lost interest ancient, daisy like man and stared at the goatish being standing in a confused state next to the Ottsels.
Applecrisp stared back in the general direction of Jak's piercing gaze, sensing the look prodding at him.
And then he felt a …draft.
He immediately crouched down into the fetal position to hid himself, blank white eyes wide and cheeks crimson in embarrassment. His stretched torso hunched over his elongated arms and legs that ended in lethal ebon hooves. Scruffs of flesh-toned fur sprouted from his ankles and wrists, a huge, fox like tail waving behind him. His ears were that of a horse, and two horns curved gently along the slope of his scalp. His shoulder-length hair faded from auburn to gold, framing a face no longer completely human. Instead of his boyish freckles he once had, he had delicate orange tattoos on his body, thin and graceful like a feline.
"…What was THAT?" Applecrisp thought. He moved away from a thick, syrupy liquid clinging to his hind hooves, shivering as he did so… "Loki? ...Hilfe mich..."
He was terrified.
Loki halted her screeching to dash over to Applecrisp.
"Eh…Es...ist...Okay...uh…Du bist…ein…goat-dude." Loki said, combining English and Applecrisp's native tongue together.
Jak struggled to find something to say to the odd pair, but the Goat-Dude and the blonde Ottsel astounded him.
Loki glanced around, and she saw a pretty – no gorgeous – man with green/blonde and a blue tunic that matched his eyes.
"Hey, bub, howyadoin?" Loki chirped as she scuttled towards Jak.
"Uh…" Jak choked out.
Kor saw a herd of Krimzon Guards and stumbled over to the 4…people staring, or in some cases oogling, at each other.
"Krimzon Guards are coooominggg" Kor creaked out as a warning.
Jak's anger bubbled up again, and he yelled in Kor's nasty wrinkly face, "WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE AM I?! RAWR."
" I am – " Kor was cut off by Loki who said with sarcasm dripping off her voice like a saliva from a predator's jowls as it eyes it's prey, waiting for the right moment to pounce, "Ya ya, you're Kor, kill the guards and we see The Shadow-guy, something about walls and prisons. Did you know you look like a demented daisy?"
Once again, every one stared at the Ottsel, except for Applecrisp, who merely gazed vaguely her way, seeing he was a blind goat.
"Well…yes…" replied Kor in disbelief.
The guards, pissed off from waiting, pounced. Jak fought them, Loki drooled when Jak released his darker powers, and Applecrisp gnawed on a spurt of grass.
After the violence spree, Jak asked the question that lingered on every one's minds, "Who the hell are you?"
[1] Meine Brille, German fer my glasses
[2] Es tut mir Leid, I'm sorry (literal trans. It causes me PAIN)