Note for all the thickos (no offence!): The name the beginning of each
section is the person telling the story
Hit-o-me
I'm so cosy in bed. It's a horrible, rainy night outside. Storm clouds are hanging over now dark fields like giant black farts. They are throwing lightening at the poor, innocent trees. Their handsome, puke- green leaves will soon be turned to ashes. If these beautiful trees die then I shall have to die too. Life is not worth living without trees.
But I am lovely and warm – and no – it is not because I have a lovely warm eiderdown, it is in fact because I have rolls of fat on my body to keep me warm. When it's summertime, I get too hot, so I must get rid of the fat. But I do not diet. I cut it off with plastic Early Learning Centre scissors. They're quite pretty actually – bright red with ELC written on them. OOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGHHH so PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just as I was about to go off to sleep, I heard a BANG! The door smashed open and there was a girl who looked identical to me. She must be a spirit. But OH NO! I was wrong. "I am your evil clone, punch-o-me." "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! OH NO! This is the Dragon Slayers doing!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "HEE HO HA!" said Punch-o-me.
Hit-o-me
I'm so cosy in bed. It's a horrible, rainy night outside. Storm clouds are hanging over now dark fields like giant black farts. They are throwing lightening at the poor, innocent trees. Their handsome, puke- green leaves will soon be turned to ashes. If these beautiful trees die then I shall have to die too. Life is not worth living without trees.
But I am lovely and warm – and no – it is not because I have a lovely warm eiderdown, it is in fact because I have rolls of fat on my body to keep me warm. When it's summertime, I get too hot, so I must get rid of the fat. But I do not diet. I cut it off with plastic Early Learning Centre scissors. They're quite pretty actually – bright red with ELC written on them. OOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGHHH so PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just as I was about to go off to sleep, I heard a BANG! The door smashed open and there was a girl who looked identical to me. She must be a spirit. But OH NO! I was wrong. "I am your evil clone, punch-o-me." "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! OH NO! This is the Dragon Slayers doing!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!" "HEE HO HA!" said Punch-o-me.