Huge thanks toIggyfing on tumblr, who suggested the idea of Legolas, and for headcanoning with me. XD I hope you like!
Legolas Complex
In retrospect, Eret probably should have realized that watching all three Lord of the Rings movies in as many days (the extended versions, mind you) hadn't been a good idea.
Not when Merida seemed to think that anything archery related in a movie was a personal challenge.(He was not looking forward to the next Avengers movie.)
But she was especially bad when it came to Legolas. She seemed to think everything the elf did was a challenge that bordered on an insult. And no matter how many times Eret tried to explain the concept of stunt men, harnesses, and CGI, Merida remained convinced that anything Legolas did, she could do better.
He wished that he had remembered that before they watched the movies. But, for some reason, he never realized something might make Merida act stupid until after it happened.
He had just been getting ready to head over to her house to watch "Return of the King" when his phone rang. With her ringtone. That was when he got the first suspicion that something was wrong. Though he tried to brush it off. She probably just wanted him to pick something up from the store, he told himself, as he accepted the call.
"Hey."
She didn't respond right away. And when she did, she wasn't her usual, energetic self.
"Uh…help," she said, her voice tight with what he recognized as pain. He had heard her like this too many times to count. "I broke somethin'."
Eret stopped in the middle of the living room. "Broke what?"
"Shoulder?" she said, unsure. "I think I've got a concussion, too."
Somehow, the casual way she said it was that much worse.
"I'm on my way."
"I'm at Jack's," she said.
That was never good. Nothing good ever happened when she was at Jack's, because it usually meant she was breaking one of her parents' "house-specific" rules. Like "no shooting in the house". Jack didn't seem to mind arrow holes in his walls. And he barely had anymore good
sense than Merida. He didn't seem to understand that just because he was an extreme snowboarder, he was a professional, and had training. Merida did not.
"I'm coming," he repeated, his voice dark to his own ears. He was gonna kill Jack. He said it almost everytime this happened. But this time, he was dangerously close to meaning it.
"I'm in the basement," she said.
"Stay awake," he commanded, before hanging up.
Thankfully, it was less than a 10 minute drive to Jack's place (just a block or so up from Merida's). The front door was unlocked.
The basement was completely finished, so it was technically just the downstairs. The stairs went straight downward, off from the kitchen, so he saw her as soon as he turned down them.
She was on one of the stairs, about three quarters of the way down. Her bow was a few steps down… and a dark blue saucer sled on the floor below the stairs. He almost didn't want to know. If she weren't obviously injured, it would have been funny simply because it was so
absurd.
Merida looked over slowly, clutching at her right shoulder. Her cringe told him just that small movement hurt.
"That looked a lot easier on TV," she said. The pain was already making her loopy, he realized. Her aqua gaze was out of focus.
He crouched down on the step above her, wishing he didn't have to ask. Because he had already started to guess.
"What looked easy?"
"That thing Legolas did, sliding down the stairs on that shield," she said.
They were never watching Lord of the Rings again. Ever. This was just too ridiculous.
Eret glared at the sled she had clearly been substituting for a shield.
"Where's Jack?"
"Probably snowboarding," she said. "He was leaving when I got here."
Eret decided he could deal with Jack later. For now…
"Come on," he sighed, shifting so he could scoop her off the floor. "Let's get you to the ER."
He picked her up so her left shoulder was against his chest, and she let go of her injured one to wrap her arm around his neck. They had done this many times before.
"I did it the first time," she said, as he started carrying her up the stairs bridal style. "Then the second time the sled hit the wall."
Eret shook his head. His mother said that Merida was just going through a regular teenage phase, thinking she was invincible, and that he had been the same three years earlier. But he was positive he had never been this bad.
"Why didn't you stop after the first time?"
"Because my aim was off."
He decided not to respond to that, and instead focused on loading her into the passenger seat of his car.
"My bow—"
"We'll get it later." He sighed. "I swear, Mer. It's gonna be a miracle if you reach 18."