Oddly enough, this was inspired by a very disgusting comment my brother made during a 'conversation' (if so it could be called; we were talkin' dirty about Aang xD) we were having: Aang paired with the Avatar State. It got me thinking. No, he's not paired with the Avatar State in this, per se, but it's just a different perspective on how he feels about the it.
The Disclaimer State: Avatar belongs to Viacom. Blah. Earth King Kuei FTW.
---
Power Obsessed
---
Sometimes I think something is really wrong with me.
I know the Avatar State is dangerous and that its power isn't a force to be messed with. It frightens me, when I think of the terrible things I do, driven by that power. I think...I think I've killed people with it, too; Katara refuses to provide the exact details of what happened in the North Pole, after I woke up to find the harbor empty of invading Fire Nation ships. It's scary to think it...that I was that bad...
But, despite the fear of losing control and the guilt I feel after witnessing what I've done, another feeling always looms within me each time I feel the surge coming before I black out: excitement. It's a sick sort of rush, that sense of being almost a god, of having control over people's very lives. It's like all that pain, that anger, and other emotions festering in me just...erupt, and I'm set free of them and myself for just a few moments. Like my past lives are telling me, "It's okay, we'll handle everything without you. Just rest for a while."
The way I feel about this power is so complex, I don't know if even the word excitement even fits. But whatever it is, it's a positive one, one that almost makes the terrible idea of just letting myself hurt people seem justified, even if for a brief moment.