As a kid in middle school you are at the constant threat of stress.
Like a wild animal dodging and ducking, trying desperately to hunt without being hunted.
But then come the flaws.
The inescapable imperfections that we hide and cover up because we just want to fit in.
And we do.
But then there's the few who are unlucky. Who can't escape their features.
The few that in the eyes of a bully are
Stupid
Ugly
Unwanted
Useless.
And they pester and poke all they want.
They laugh and call you names.
Or they stare.
And judge
Silently judge you.
And on the inside you feel terrible
Broken
Defeated.
Holding it in.
All the pain
All the suffering
All the insults
And you desperately want it out
You want it gone
To disappear like dust in the wind
But you can't
You just can't
Because if you do they'll just eat it up
You'll just be feeding the fire that burns your body.
And so you keep it in
hide it away behind the closed door that is a fake smile
A false answer to the question
"Are you alright?"
You lie because you fear.
You fear that all they will do is laugh at how you struggle
Or just stare like you are an animal.
But really all you are is the unfortunate kid shoved into the shadows.
Locked in invisibility
Only ever noticed when you mess up.
Then they laugh
And laugh
And laugh
And laugh
And they just won't
SHUT UP!
.
.
Because you are different
Because you are the nerdy kid
You are the freak
You are the dyslexic kid who messed up.
The kid with that 'perfect' older sibling
Who gets straight A's
Who is the popular kid
The kid who's got every thing they could ever want.
And then there's you
The not so perfect child
The unlucky dyslexic
Or nerd
Or anti-socialite
Who thinks can't do any thing right
Chained to the shadow of their older sibling
Crying and calling out
For some one
Anyone to help them
Understand them
Love them
The ones who look perfectly fine on the outside
But are broken and crumbling on the inside.
Filled to the brim with pain
Doubt
Hatred
Depression.
The one who goes home and when locked in the safety of their own solitude cry
Cry out all the unshed tears
Until finally it's all gone
All the pain and remorse that had been kept in for so long is gone
And they can finally be themselves.
But I say no
I say "I like my flaws"
I don't care that I'm dyslexic
I don't care
I
Just
Don't
Care
Because I'm proud
I'm proud that I'm different
In proud that I'm weird
That I'm odd and called names
Because I know I'm not alone.
I know that others, day by day tell themselves it'll be over soon.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
Words we have heard over and over.
Stretched and worn out from years of use.
Now given new life
Because I know that sticks and stones may break my bones
And words can break my heart.
But they will never, I repeat NEVER break my soul.
Because I am me
And I'm proud to be me.