The Life and Death of Bella Swan, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Twilight, New moon, or Eclipse, they belong to Stephanie Meyer ... Im just a lowly student

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I sighed again as I put on my sweatshirt, dreading what I had decided to do that night. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to do, but over the past few days, I had become more and more aware of how Edward was just so much ... perfect than I was, and I just could not stand it anymore. If he is going to keep refusing to change me, if he refused to make me his, then I would take myself out of his life. Even if it was like when he left me, if had no choice. Even if we were destined for each other, even if we are soul mates, I cannot stand anymore of his stubbornness. If he can't bring himself to make me his equal, if he wanted to keep me forever his inferior, slowly dying while he lived eternally, then he was wrong. Very very wrong.

I climbed down the stairs slowly, hoping the creaky stairs wouldn't wake Charlie up. Even if I was pretty sure he wouldn't mind me breaking up with Edward, he would probably not approve of the rest of my plan. I have to take myself completely out of Edward's life, and that meant moving somewhere far away, and sunny enough that the Cullen's couldn't follow me easily. I had already been accepted into the U of Miami, and since I had worked so hard during my senior year, I had a great scholarship, enough to cover my life until I graduated. I had even taken the precaution of making most of my decisions random, to keep Alice off my plan. Even now, I maintained a certain level of uncertainty, just to escape from Alice.

After I managed down the stairs without a problem ( amazing, of course, but I was being to serious to pay much attention to my sudden agility ) I got into my rusty old ford and drove quickly to the Cullen's house. No need to be worried about waking people when your visiting the Cullen family, because vampire cant sleep, so no need for getting anyone else involved. All I had to do was talk to Edward, and then I would be in Miami the next day. I parked the truck at the spot in front of the Cullen's garage, and slowly walked to the front door. Edward was at home, because he usually came later into the night, and he was there to greet me in the doorway, looking happy confused by my sudden visit.

I pushed his happiness at seeing me to the back of my mind, and made myself indifferent. "Edward" I said woodenly, "we need to talk." He looked serious now, as if somehow he could read my mind, but this I also ignored. Now, my mind was made up, and right now, my heart was as strong as steel. It would shatter later, but now, I needed to be strong.

We walked upstairs to Edward's room, and sat down on the bed. Edward made a move for me to move into his arms, and I wanted to, I really wanted to, but still, my resolve held tight.

"Edward, I cant do this anymore. I know that you think that my becoming a vampire would be the most terrible thing to happen, that I would become soulless, and I want to know if you still think that." Somehow, my words sounded oddly hollow to my ears, and the atmosphere was suddenly chilly.

"Bella, my love, you know what I think about my ... kind, and you know I don't want that to happen to you, no watter what! Anyways, you haven't had so many human experiences, and I want you to live normally. I cant take that away from you, Bella, I really cant. I could never be so selfish to you."

He said this so sadly, but I knew how many times he had said the same thing already, and I knew then, in that moment, that if things continued like this, my dream would come true, where Edward was young and beautiful as ever, and I would be just like my grandmother.

"Are you really serious, Edward? You know how much I want to be like you ... how much I want to stay with you, for eternity." I no longer sounded hollow, just sad, terribly sad, and on the verge of tears.

"Bella! You cant expect me to do that to you! And you don't have to worry what people will think. Ill stay by your side forever Bella, and when you .. when you die Bella, ill go with you. We'll never be apart for long, love, even in death. You do remember saying we would be able to go to the same place, right?" He was desperate now, I could sense it, but his death .. my death, it had strengthened my determination. There was no way I could make him die, to limit him to my short lifespan, and he had decided it had to be.

"Edward, I'm sorry, but I cant take anymore of this. I don't care if we are soul mates, I don't care if ill never find someone who I could love as much as you. I probably will never love anyone again, but still, I hope you can forgive me for this. Let me finish, Edward, I have to get this out!" The last words I shouted out, to keep him quite, because one word from him, one of his smoldering gazes, and I would completely forget I am trying to do.

"Edward," I began again, "I cant do this anymore. If you refuse to change me, if you don't want to be with me forever, if you cant stand me for that long, or if you don't want to ruin my normal human life, then Edward, please, leave me alone. If you want me to live normally, then Edward, you aren't normal. I couldn't stand it if I grew old beside you, while you remained you, forever. No, its not about my age, but I would never feel right loving you when you look 17 while I'm thirty. So, Edward, please let me leave, If you really care for me, if you really want me to be normal, then let me go!"

After that, I had left. But I remembered the time Edward had left me, he had left me some remembrance of him, something I could hold on to, even if I didn't know it was there. I decided that I would leave Edward something too, something to remember me by. I would give him my blood, because it was what attracted him to me in the first place, so it seemed appropriate that I would give it to him to remember me by. Carlisle helped me wit this part, he drew out some of my blood, and we put it in a small air-tight container. I left it on the Cullen's doorstep the day I knew they would all be out hunting. On it, I had written - "I'm sorry for everything Edward, I hope that you can forget me, but if you cant, then take this, as something to remember me by. I already have something of yours."

That day, I left Forks, Washington. It was well planned, and no one knew about it. I called my father and mother later, of course, and told them all about it. They were surprised at my sudden move, but accepted it, as I was bound to go sometime soon anyways. I started college, as a normal student, and tried to forget as well as I could everything about Edward, Forks, and my heart.

Okay guys, this is my FIRST story, so please, don't flame XD If yu like it, review, if you don't like it .. review! I wanna hear what you think! Click that little go button and write anything ty