A Very Loony Story
"So... what minion should I have now?" Kyr asked
"Well, howzabout Constipated Flying Nuns- no- you've already done that," Madame Zola mumbled to herself.
Yet again, out of nowhere, Kyr broke out into song, "Oh where in time is Sage, stop her crime and solve this mystery- Oh where in time is Sage, we're on the case and we're chasin' her through history..."
"Not again!!!" Madame Zola moaned, " but you gotta hand it to her, that is a good question."
Suddenly, a blinding purple flash erupted from Death Mountain - which somehow happened to be right outside... along with Lake Hylia and Lon Lon Ranch.
"Ha le lu yah!!!" MalonHunter yelled, "If you will excuse me, I am off to 'visit' an old friend of mine named Malon, be back in a sec."
MalonHunter skipped off singing one of those annoying songs that the munchkins sing from the Wizard of Oz, and the moment she was out of sight, Sage popped in.
"Come here quickly! I have important information for you all!" she whispered.
"What about Malonhunter?" Kyr asked.
"That's what the news is about!!!" she hissed.
"What-MalonHunter? I thought she was a Who!" Kyr said.
"No you moron- she isn't from the Grinch who stole Easter!" Sage yelled.
"I thought the Grinch stole Christmas?" Madame Zola asked.
"Whatever. Anyway, I have reason to believe that she is actually an alien who flew here on a purple banana a bazillion years-"
"That's it!!! My minions are temporarily purple bananas from the planet Shmoo!" Kyr cut her off.
"Will you shut up?" Sage yelled, "OK, here's the plan, spray her with super glue and then take her to Area 51 to be- well, I don't even want to know"
"You are forgetting one thing- she's Malonhunter, she practically invented glue! I think we should hi-jack a semi and hit her in a drive-by!" Madame Zola yelled.
"But she has to be alive or they won't take her...I know! Kyr, your purple bananas will capture her and fly her to Area 51!" Sage yelled.
"Righto, but when? She is out at Lon Lon Ranch right now... how about tomorrow?" Madame Zola asked
"Nah, I hafta go to the car wash to get my purple bananas their steering wheels," Kyr said in her loony way.
"OK then, the next day or never!!!" Sage shouted.
Suddenly, MalonHunter burst through the door with an evil grin on her face. Sage immediately did the disappearing act to who knows where.
"Hello again! What'd I miss?" she asked.
"Why don't you tell us?" Madame Zola blurted out.
"Yeah! Wesa all know dat you izbein an alien from Under de Sea!" Kyr yelled.
"Could you repeat that in English? You sounded like an alien yourself! MAlonhunter said, seriously wondering about Kyr's mental health.
"Oh, well then why can't you understand her, eh?" Madame Zola asked.
"OK! That's it! No more sugar for either of you, you have definitely lost what you never had," MalonHunter said while eyeing the two critically.
"Get out of here before my evil pikachus of doom blow you to Mars!" Madame Zola ordered.
"Fine then, I'll just go and climb the mountain that mysteriously appeared with my monkey-lizards," Malonhunter said while ignoring the comments made by Madame Zola and Kyr.
The minute she stepped out the door, Sage appeared again.
" Why do you always disappear when Malonhunter is around, hmmmmm?!?!" Kyr asked," Tell us- Ninety-nine bottles of booz on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of booooz!!!"
"Here we go again- I think she belongs in a mental institute with all the other freaks of the world!" Sage said with disgust," Remember the plan! Day after tomorrow, we abduct Malonhunter!"
Meanwhile.....
"Something screwy is going on! Kyr looked like she had a clue about something, and that isn't normal!" Malonhunter told her monkey lizards," I think that we should go and sort of 'eavesdrop' don't you?"
The monkeys all cried something that had to be agreement because Malonhunter got on one's back and they flew off.
MAlonhunter and her monkeys heard the conversation between SAge, Kyr and Madame Zola, then flew back to the shelter of Death Mountain.
"OK, first order of business- Am I an alien? How does one know if they are an alien?... Ya better have a good answer!" she threatened.
"Well, I believe that the proper name is 'extra terrestrial' and I have more reason to believe that the Sage in that house is the extra terrestrial in this story," a voice from above said.
"WHOA!! Double take- was that God? Sage an alien?.... Actually it isn't that hard to believe considering how much it explains," she said.
Malonhunter then looked up and saw a big fuzzy blue thing, "AAAAAAH!!! They DO exist! Sage's entire belief system is right!!!" she shrieked.
"Calm down! We won't hurt you, and you won't hurt us...!" Cyclops said
Malonhunter stood there in pure shock for a moment before replying with an evil grin," As far as you know, you as in the person in yellow spandex standing right in front of me, I won't hurt you- heh heh, Christmas came early, now where did I put that electronic razor?"
"OK, OK, Where's the talking monkey? I'm dreaming so there has to be one around here somewhere.... Here monkey, monkey, monkey, Come out Come out wherever you are..." she said while looking behind rocks.
"Listen bub, there ain't a-" an overly hairy man also known as Wolverine said.
"BINGO!!!" Malonhunter cut him off," We have our monkey!"
"Heh Heh, dis kid is right mon ami, you do look like a monkey!" Gambit said.
"Whoa!!! Ok Ok, I admit, I've had my suspicions, but now I know, I am absolutely, officially a raving lunatic! Well, either that or Sage's entire belief system is right!" she said as she sat down.
"Is Sage de really loony kid wid de freaky monkeys? She's locked up on Mars," Gambit said.
"Snort- when is she not?"
"Gal, think! She's really there! Jean saw her!" Rogue said
"Ok, I got an idea- but I guess I hafta work you guys in it somehow..... You people wouldn't be able to get Sage and her rabid monkeys back here on Earth, would you?" she asked.
"Of course. We can easily fly the Blackbird to Mars and break her out..... How else would we get her here?" Professor X asked
Suddenly, MalonHunter burst out laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Vroom-no we go left- shoop vroom.... HAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! I can just see you competing in the Wheelchair 500 saying ' Get off the road!!! You don't deserve to drive- oops, sorry ma'am! - HAHAHHAHAHAH!!!"
"Although I'm sure that would be quite a spectacle, we have to focus on the current problem. Cyclops and I shall go get your friend while the rest of you think up a plan," Jean Grey said.
The two ran off to the plane while the others sat down and started to think.
"Before you people get caught up in the moment, one question: How is it that Cyclops managed to get a girlfriend?" MalonHunter asked
"He is a kind, caring, and responsible young man," Professor X said.
"HA HA HA, you should be a comedian- that pansy?" MalonHunter asked
"He is very loving," Professor X said.
"Why don't you marry him, eh?" MalonHunter asked
"Because I already have a boyfriend!" Professor X said irritably.
Everybody looked at him, before deciding to ignore the comment in order to keep their mental health.
"So... what minion should I have now?" Kyr asked
"Well, howzabout Constipated Flying Nuns- no- you've already done that," Madame Zola mumbled to herself.
Yet again, out of nowhere, Kyr broke out into song, "Oh where in time is Sage, stop her crime and solve this mystery- Oh where in time is Sage, we're on the case and we're chasin' her through history..."
"Not again!!!" Madame Zola moaned, " but you gotta hand it to her, that is a good question."
Suddenly, a blinding purple flash erupted from Death Mountain - which somehow happened to be right outside... along with Lake Hylia and Lon Lon Ranch.
"Ha le lu yah!!!" MalonHunter yelled, "If you will excuse me, I am off to 'visit' an old friend of mine named Malon, be back in a sec."
MalonHunter skipped off singing one of those annoying songs that the munchkins sing from the Wizard of Oz, and the moment she was out of sight, Sage popped in.
"Come here quickly! I have important information for you all!" she whispered.
"What about Malonhunter?" Kyr asked.
"That's what the news is about!!!" she hissed.
"What-MalonHunter? I thought she was a Who!" Kyr said.
"No you moron- she isn't from the Grinch who stole Easter!" Sage yelled.
"I thought the Grinch stole Christmas?" Madame Zola asked.
"Whatever. Anyway, I have reason to believe that she is actually an alien who flew here on a purple banana a bazillion years-"
"That's it!!! My minions are temporarily purple bananas from the planet Shmoo!" Kyr cut her off.
"Will you shut up?" Sage yelled, "OK, here's the plan, spray her with super glue and then take her to Area 51 to be- well, I don't even want to know"
"You are forgetting one thing- she's Malonhunter, she practically invented glue! I think we should hi-jack a semi and hit her in a drive-by!" Madame Zola yelled.
"But she has to be alive or they won't take her...I know! Kyr, your purple bananas will capture her and fly her to Area 51!" Sage yelled.
"Righto, but when? She is out at Lon Lon Ranch right now... how about tomorrow?" Madame Zola asked
"Nah, I hafta go to the car wash to get my purple bananas their steering wheels," Kyr said in her loony way.
"OK then, the next day or never!!!" Sage shouted.
Suddenly, MalonHunter burst through the door with an evil grin on her face. Sage immediately did the disappearing act to who knows where.
"Hello again! What'd I miss?" she asked.
"Why don't you tell us?" Madame Zola blurted out.
"Yeah! Wesa all know dat you izbein an alien from Under de Sea!" Kyr yelled.
"Could you repeat that in English? You sounded like an alien yourself! MAlonhunter said, seriously wondering about Kyr's mental health.
"Oh, well then why can't you understand her, eh?" Madame Zola asked.
"OK! That's it! No more sugar for either of you, you have definitely lost what you never had," MalonHunter said while eyeing the two critically.
"Get out of here before my evil pikachus of doom blow you to Mars!" Madame Zola ordered.
"Fine then, I'll just go and climb the mountain that mysteriously appeared with my monkey-lizards," Malonhunter said while ignoring the comments made by Madame Zola and Kyr.
The minute she stepped out the door, Sage appeared again.
" Why do you always disappear when Malonhunter is around, hmmmmm?!?!" Kyr asked," Tell us- Ninety-nine bottles of booz on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of booooz!!!"
"Here we go again- I think she belongs in a mental institute with all the other freaks of the world!" Sage said with disgust," Remember the plan! Day after tomorrow, we abduct Malonhunter!"
Meanwhile.....
"Something screwy is going on! Kyr looked like she had a clue about something, and that isn't normal!" Malonhunter told her monkey lizards," I think that we should go and sort of 'eavesdrop' don't you?"
The monkeys all cried something that had to be agreement because Malonhunter got on one's back and they flew off.
MAlonhunter and her monkeys heard the conversation between SAge, Kyr and Madame Zola, then flew back to the shelter of Death Mountain.
"OK, first order of business- Am I an alien? How does one know if they are an alien?... Ya better have a good answer!" she threatened.
"Well, I believe that the proper name is 'extra terrestrial' and I have more reason to believe that the Sage in that house is the extra terrestrial in this story," a voice from above said.
"WHOA!! Double take- was that God? Sage an alien?.... Actually it isn't that hard to believe considering how much it explains," she said.
Malonhunter then looked up and saw a big fuzzy blue thing, "AAAAAAH!!! They DO exist! Sage's entire belief system is right!!!" she shrieked.
"Calm down! We won't hurt you, and you won't hurt us...!" Cyclops said
Malonhunter stood there in pure shock for a moment before replying with an evil grin," As far as you know, you as in the person in yellow spandex standing right in front of me, I won't hurt you- heh heh, Christmas came early, now where did I put that electronic razor?"
"OK, OK, Where's the talking monkey? I'm dreaming so there has to be one around here somewhere.... Here monkey, monkey, monkey, Come out Come out wherever you are..." she said while looking behind rocks.
"Listen bub, there ain't a-" an overly hairy man also known as Wolverine said.
"BINGO!!!" Malonhunter cut him off," We have our monkey!"
"Heh Heh, dis kid is right mon ami, you do look like a monkey!" Gambit said.
"Whoa!!! Ok Ok, I admit, I've had my suspicions, but now I know, I am absolutely, officially a raving lunatic! Well, either that or Sage's entire belief system is right!" she said as she sat down.
"Is Sage de really loony kid wid de freaky monkeys? She's locked up on Mars," Gambit said.
"Snort- when is she not?"
"Gal, think! She's really there! Jean saw her!" Rogue said
"Ok, I got an idea- but I guess I hafta work you guys in it somehow..... You people wouldn't be able to get Sage and her rabid monkeys back here on Earth, would you?" she asked.
"Of course. We can easily fly the Blackbird to Mars and break her out..... How else would we get her here?" Professor X asked
Suddenly, MalonHunter burst out laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Vroom-no we go left- shoop vroom.... HAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! I can just see you competing in the Wheelchair 500 saying ' Get off the road!!! You don't deserve to drive- oops, sorry ma'am! - HAHAHHAHAHAH!!!"
"Although I'm sure that would be quite a spectacle, we have to focus on the current problem. Cyclops and I shall go get your friend while the rest of you think up a plan," Jean Grey said.
The two ran off to the plane while the others sat down and started to think.
"Before you people get caught up in the moment, one question: How is it that Cyclops managed to get a girlfriend?" MalonHunter asked
"He is a kind, caring, and responsible young man," Professor X said.
"HA HA HA, you should be a comedian- that pansy?" MalonHunter asked
"He is very loving," Professor X said.
"Why don't you marry him, eh?" MalonHunter asked
"Because I already have a boyfriend!" Professor X said irritably.
Everybody looked at him, before deciding to ignore the comment in order to keep their mental health.