Another Malec fanfic, of course the angst comes from the immortal/non-immortal drama. Some of my own OCs are in this for the purpose of the plot, and then some. Because Magnus Bane deserves the world. Takes place in the TV show verse/storyline.

Tither

There were few things on this earth that Magnus loved more than dancing and alcohol. One of those few things was Alexander Lightwood. That man had enraptured him from the moment he laid eyes on him. It was a strange feeling to an immortal, to see a temporary existence in the world and want to keep it with you forever. And, by the Angel, Alec was so patient and loving and solid Magnus could pretend to forget about his love's fleeting life when he was wrapped in his comforting figure nearly every night of the week.

Until recently, that is. While Magnus had Alec to assure him about his hauntings of the past, Alec didn't realize that he could soon become one of Magnus' own hauntings. A ghost of a true love long since dead, and then Magnus didn't know what he would do with himself. Ragnor was dead now as well, and Catarina hardly liked being public because of her distaste for Shadowhunters. Raphael was always such an unpredictable person-though Magnus still loved him dearly- and wasn't very emotional. Magnus then realized he needed to reconnect with a few of his own old friends whom he hadn't seen in awhile. And ask for a grand favor, if only to keep his own sanity ensured for the next eternity.

The trip to Paris had taken a lot out of him. Especially since he had hardly been any good sleep lately, the portal took a great amount of strength to conjure. At least he didn't pass out on Valerie's front porch. She wouldn't appreciate that very much. Her house used to be a deep mahogany the last time he had visited her, now it was white and held a large fountain that trickled into a koi pond. Not a classic Parisian home, but Valerie was all over the place, anyway. That characteristic they both shared- their love of travel. He had met her in Japan, if he recalls correctly, right before the isolation of the country ended. He can't recalls what he had been doing there, though. She had been buying silks, he remembers clearly.

A knock to the door wasn't even necessary, as the door automatically opened for him when he stepped on the doormat. The interior had changed since last time, too. Gone the dark, warm colors and were replaced by bright, vivid colors. Last time her living room had been a deep apple red, now it was a neutral shade of blue surrounded by accents of vivid greens and yellows. And there was now a large, flatscreen TV above the fireplace. Those hadn't existed in the eighties.

My gosh, it certainly had been a long time, Magnus thought. He prayed she wouldn't be sporting the now horrid poofed up hair like she had back then. Heels clicked on the staircase to his left and his face lit up at the sight of her. The High Warlock of Paris, Valerie Bonnay. She was nearly flying down the stairs and crushed him in a tight hug when she reached him. "It's been too long, Magnus," she smiled at him, speaking in English rather than French. The accent was very prominent, however.

"It has, and I apologize for that, darling," he grinned, squeezing her hand. Her eyes were a glowing, liquid turqouise that hardly stood still. Her Warlock Mark. Valerie's weren't slitted like a cat's, however.

"Don't apologize, it's my fault as well. Care for anything? Or do you wish to go out and eat somewhere? I saved myself to be on an empty stomach so we could do whatever you please. You're my guest, after all." Magnus laughed at that, shaking his head and sitting down on her soft white couch. She sat next to him, conjuring up a glass of tea-mango, he guessed- in her hand.

"Tell me Magnus, what brings you to Paris? I do hope you haven't been here since we last saw each other, otherwise I will be personally offended." Her hair was pulled in a ponytail-golden brown and curled softly.

"I...endured some horrid encounters thanks to the Clave and wished to reconnect with some old friends. I hope I haven't inconvenienced you in any way." He had known her for nearly half his life, opening up to her wasn't as difficult as it was for some of his other, local friends.

Her eyes flashed with concern and a hint of protectiveness. "Did they try to kill you because of some misunderstanding?"

"They...tortured me. Not intentially. I'm not too sure if you're caught up with the news of the century, but Valentine had come back. I was involved with his daughter because of her mother, Jocelyn Fray, and long story short, I switched bodies with him because of the Greater Demon Asmodeus. They thought they were torturing him, not me, but the Agony rune, it made me...relive those memories from Indonesia. The ones with my father.

I've been trying to hide the physical toll of it from….darling, you need to tell me if you're caught up with Clave news now, or this might take a while to explain."

She chuckled, sipping from her glass before nodding. "Yes, I know all about the attempt of Valentine to start waging war on the Clave. They had us worried up here, too. Though surprisingly the Clave here is a bit more...laxed. The relationship that French Institutes have with the Downworlders here is a bit better, simply because most of us helped bring down the monarchy way back when. I remember doing so, even though I enjoyed Versailles so much at its high point in life.

But Magnus, you won't inconvenience me if you wish to tell me how you of all people got involved in this mess. I cleared my entire day for you, cher. And you are definitely staying the night, you look like a ghost. And I, as a Downworlder, know what a ghost looks like. You need to rest. And Paris may be a busy city, but it's a short Portal ride from moi to take us to Nice."

Valerie looked too stylish to go to the beachy city of Nice, but he knew she could easily snap her fingers and change into the proper attire. Not that she minded out-dressing everyone in the facility she was in. Another thing he adored about her.

"Well, Jocelyn Fray made me erase the memories of her daughter, Clarissa. Clary had been coming to me to have her memories erased since she was small, her memories that were taken were all about the Shadow World. Except, Jocelyn's plan backfired horribly. On Clary's 18th birthday, she found her mother missing and ended finding the truth of teh Shadow World and her place in it as a Shadowhunter. She met Jace Herondale, who was adopted by the Lightwoods, and nearly ended up being her brother, both would-be children of Valentine. Except Jace wasn't his child. And then Clary's mundane friend, Simon, turned into a vampire by Camille- yes, I know- and is now somewhat part of Raphael's clan but not really.

And...I also managed to crash a wedding and find myself a boyfriend in the Lightwood's eldest son, Alexander. His sister is a darling as well, and so is their little brother, Max. I had issues with his parents because, well, obviously. I cost them a well-planned marriage, their son some of the respect of Clave members, the usual. His mother is somehow coming to terms with our relationship...I think.

Anyway, that's that. But I...love him so much, Valerie. I do. Ragnor, before he...he died. That's another tragedy that happened because of this entire mess. But even in death, Ragnor won't let me give up on something as important as feeling. I felt torn because, on the one hand, I know I am charming and a complete treasure, but on the other, it was a Shadowhunter, and a mortal, obviously. And a man who hadn't been so ready to accept his sexuality as I have been. But I fought for it, for him, because he made me want to fight. Want to truly live again. And we've not been perfect, but it's been wonderful, and I truly feel something special with him.

I adore him. And, one night, Dot came by and we had been drinking and something almost happened but I...didn't. I had never, ever, cheated on anyone, though these past few weeks have been particularly hard on me and Alexander had upset me that day, but I didn't want it to be for nothing. Not after everything we had struggled through.

But with everything that I had to relive...I'm overthinking. I'm terrified of that inevitable day when he's going to be killed or just simply naturally die and no magic, no angelic weapon, could bring him back to me. To keep him at my side forever and let me hold him until all the pain will go away. Because when that day does come, and by the Angel, with him being a Shadowhunter it could be any day, I fear...I fear I'll shut down again."

Valerie's cat had crawled up into her lap, a black-and-white short haired female, and was looking at him with pity. God, if he received pity from a cat, that was a bad sign. "Magnus, are you sure this man isn't going to destroy you while he is alive?"

Magnus' breath shook as he answered her. "He already has. But he also somehow recreated me. And I know that I shouldn't be so self-destructive, since Tessa bears the pain of Will with her. Though it helps that she has Jem now. But I...I'm not as strong as she is. I've been selfish my whole life. I always will be when it comes to love."

She gave him a serious look. "Magnus Bane, don't you dare tell me you are selfish in love. You give and give and give. You gave almost everything for Camille. You gave for Will, as well. When someone captures your heart, you want to give it to them as a present. You only see yourself as selfish because you wish for them to never leave you. Magnus, darling, that isn't selfish. Wanting to have the person you love by your side isn't selfish. It's placing faith that they're that much in love with you that they wish to be by your side as well.

That their joy is derived from whatever location you are, because they care for you and wish to be with you. Yes, I believe that every single person in a relationship can grow by themselves and is definitely their own work of art and filled with complexity, but we're still half-human, Magnus. Humans are social creatures. We thrive when we're together. So don't tell me you're selfish for wanting him to give you his time. Because to him, that is the most precious gift he can ever give to you."

Magnus could feel himself swell with emotion- tears sprung up in his tear ducts. He tried to wash them away in vain. "What if he doesn't wish to stay by my side forever? Valerie, Camille broke me. If Alexander just wants to grow old and...it'll utterly destroy me." Magnus blamed the torture session he endured for all of these negative thoughts and emotions swirling inside of him at the moment. He figured if he would have been mortal it may have gone away by now- as while some mortals do have PTSD, many jump back fast. But when you're immortal...every single memory lasts for an eternity. You can bury them, try to incinerate them from your mind, but they always linger in the dark. When you're half-demon, your demons like to remind you of that side of your being in every way they can.

Valerie was frowning, her ruby-red lips turned down in displeasure. "If it wasn't against the Accords I would go and demand the Clave give you some sort of compensation for your pain. And by that I mean I'll give them some pain in return."

Magnus laughed. "You sound like Alec's sister." Valerie grinned back at him, standing up and stretching much like her cat had done a few moments earlier. "I'll take that as a compliment. So, tell me, what can I actually do to help? I refuse to stay out of your life any longer, dear."

Magnus already knew what he wished to ask her, desperately. But he felt that bringing it up so quickly, before she had even met Alexander and analyzed if it would work on them, would be a bad idea. So he shook his head and smiled at her. "We should go get some food, then. I've kept you on an empty stomach for too long. And I know how you get when you're hangry."

She pouted but followed him out the door of her house, and they took the metro to the city.

First chapter is done! I'm mainly doing this fic to get off a writer's block for my actual novels, and I was in the mood for some angsty Malec. This might not be my best since it's a drive to get back into non-fanfic writings. Stick around, because obviously I'm going to make Alec become an immortal...somehow.