A/N: Ok wow, never thought I'd be so nervous publishing this, but the summary is what it is. This is basically um... I'm not sure if this'll pass as a sequel, but this happens before the last part in Akai Ito.
S/O to dearest betas MartengaPop and aominesshi. You guys have been nothing but supportive of me. So lucky to call you my sisters x
Please note that English isn't my first language, and I hope you find this to your liking.
SOUMA
"You look the cutest in the morning, y'know?"
"And your morning breath is worse than a garbage can."
"Hmm, guess you're the unlucky one."
He kisses her again this time, long and slow. Despite what she said about his breath, he's pleased that she willingly melts into the rhythm his lips have deliciously set down to the crook of her neck. And he loves that little grunt she let out whenever he leaves a love bite on her favorite spot.
If Erina doesn't try to escape, he's sure they'd be stuck in Souma's bed for hours. Just them. Lying down there with a little bit of making out -believe him, it's not that it hasn't happened before.
"Alright, Yukihira. Now I really need to leave."
"Aw, c'mon! Nooo." He gets a good grip of her hand when she tries to push the white blanket aside, "I know you still have two hours before you have to leave for that restaurant board meeting, right?"
"Yes, but the dress I want to wear today is back at my place. Do not force me to go to a meeting with your ugly t-shirt and a blazer once again."
Damn it, she and her clothes. "Aight, how important is this meeting? 'Cause I know I can pull some strings to get ya out."
"Yukihira, you have work too! Stop trying to negotiate!"
"Fine." Souma gives her cheek a peck before sitting up, "But I really hope you think about how sucky it is not having me when you get home today. Shino's will be as packed as a can of sardines tonight."
When Souma thinks about it as he watches her clasping her bra back on, it would be so great to come home to her at his place, and maybe seeing her fall asleep on the couch with that crazy tacky soap opera still blasting on the TV screen.
"I will be fine." Her tone so ensuring (her years of client-convincing experience always does her good), "You're the one who need to get your act together."
"No, no. There's gotta be a way." Souma pauses for a moment, "What if you move all your stuff here?"
"And having me live in an empty apartment?"
"No, but we'll make my house your house too. I mean, it's not too shabby for someone who used to work at a small family diner, eh?" He brags- how can he not? It's his first purchase in London!
"What is that suppose to mean? You know paying my rent has never been an issue-"
"For fuck sake, Nakiri. Just understand what I'm saying and move in here!"
Ha- bet that beautiful weirdo did not see that one coming.
Truth be told, it comes as a surprise for him to, but saying it does feel right. Maybe it's time for them to finally move another step forward, eh?
"W-What? D-Did you just ask me to live with you?"
"Heck yeah! Think about it; we don't have to fuss over whose place we're sleeping at each night, or fight over whose kitchen equipments are better, or-"
She raises an eyebrow at that- of course she thinks it's hers and her fucking Vitamix.
"Aight, forget about that. Just think about it. Y'know you want it 'cause you can have all the snogs you want."
Despite the endless, annoying tease and cooking challenges she'd sure be getting, he knows she will love the ability to use all his t-shirts anytime she wants, and if that isn't enough, he has just a way to win her.
"And you can get the right side of the bed."
»»-¤-««
It's not until the following week Erina's entire house is fully loaded into Souma's. He did expect that she will bring over a lot of stuff (that's why he cleared up some of his to make room for hers), but not at the point where it takes half of his garage just for his old living room materials.
"Well you should have known better, Yukihira. You know I've been hating that IKEA couch ever since I look at it the first time."
"Well, you sure weren't complaining those nights I pounded you there." He reminds her while popping a can of beer, "And y'know that swirly velvet couch of yours ain't no better."
"Except you always snooze like a grizzly bear on hibernation every time we watch Netflix?"
"Right, right. It's pretty damn comfy." He approaches her before putting his arm around her shoulder. "So uh… welcome home, roomie."
As he lands a peck on her crown, he knows when he inhales that minty vanilla fragrance of her hair that living with a beautiful creature such as Nakiri Erina will have a lot of challenges, but if one knows Souma, they would know that he loves challenges.
And after years of denials, detours, and roadblocks, Souma is certain the rest will be a piece of cake.
"You know, I always wonder why you bought such a spacious penthouse for yourself to begin with." Erina mumbles while she leans closer to him- geez, let's hope she won't tell him off when her coat absorbs the reeking cigarette smell out of his t-shirt.
"Eh, pop's pal used to live here, so I got a good deal out of it." He explains shortly, which she responds with a nod, "Besides, wouldn't wanna have more trouble finding a new place when little Yukihiras come along, eh?"
"Hmpf. Children are such a waste of time and space."
And that to him, coming from someone he'd swim through hell for, is a knife straight to the heart- and god's way of telling Souma he hates him.
Alright, yes, Souma has always, always wanted kids. Even before he was with her, and he now sort of regrets not expressing it earlier before this stage; before he'd choose her over anything (heck, he'd probably rather stop cooking than to have to chase her all over again).
"Really? Y'think so?"
"I just think that nobody would want their growing careers being hold off as such. Let alone someone like us."
You mean someone like you, Nakiri. "But you know that some people actually crave for 'em, right? They would even stop whatever they're doing to raise their kids."
"Of course, but not me."
"So… you never wanna have kids?"
"I just find it unnecessary to ruin a perfectly good life."
And there goes another knife.
"But so do you, right? I don't see you as someone who would ever want to stop cooking for anything."
Oh, you have no idea.
And as if that's not enough salt added to his wound, she doesn't know that she means more than just a strength for him; she's also his weakness. The weakness that will spread through him easily like cancer that will eat out his life from inside if she's ever gone missing from him again.
He's not ruining this again. He can't lose her again. If a lie has to be told, if his feeling needs to be sacrificed for her happiness, so be it.
"No… yeah, totally."
»»-¤-««
Ever since that revelation, Souma has been trying to bury it deep somewhere in his mind. He would wake up in the morning, kiss the pretty sleepy face next to him, and make her breakfast (even force her out of bed for a surprise shokugeki at times)- anything to confirm himself that it never bothers him.
He would even go out on a limb to show that he's on the same page as hers whenever he and Erina are taking a walk in the park and see a little baby in a stroller passing them by.
"Look, a baby, yikes!" He'd cringe, but making sure the mother can't hear him.
"Y-Yukihira! That is rude!" Erina would shush him. "Things like that should be kept to yourself!"
"Yeah, but y'know you and I don't want that lil demon ruining our lives, eh?"
Erina would shake her head each time these sort of thing comes out of his mouth.
But what Erina doesn't know is that Souma would actually leave the kitchen during a dinner service just to serve the dinners with babies himself. He would come over and let out one of those voices when interacting with said babies, maybe pinch their cheeks a little bit. He loves every second of it. That's how badly he wants kids.
Until the harder part comes.
"Ah, Chef Yukihira, I'm sure you would make a wonderful father one day, and Chef Nakiri would be so thrilled to have you father her future children." The mother of the baby would smile.
"Bet she will." He would answer to the irony with his nonchalant happiness, but it's when he walks back to the kitchen he'd take a long sigh and try to shake it off to proceed with the service.
Of course Erina would notice if he starts zoning out in the car after he picks her up with a worn-out face, but of course Souma never tells her anything.
"Nah, just need some sleep." He'd always lie whenever Erina asks him if something was on his mind.
Oh, if only a sleep is all it takes for her to change her mind.
»»-¤-««
If one could say one thing about Souma, it is that he pretends to hide his emotion really well, and it sure has been in front of Erina. He thinks that girl hasn't been smelling anything fishy.
But all hell breaks loose the time Souma and Erina run into none other than Tsukasa Eishi at Pétrus London's re-opening night.
Now, he's not really the jealous type of a guy- it's Nakiri Erina, for crying out loud. The girl can even make a wrestler feel like a less of a man with her smart mouth, but when it comes to the white-haired bastard, Souma just can't help this unexplainable irritation inside, especially when he can only observe them by the bar.
He hates how he looks at her, and that dress she's wearing is sure not helping in keeping him away. He swears if that guy dares to move one step closer to her, this martini glass he's carrying is going to break in half.
"Your drink." Souma hands one glass to Erina before turning his attention to her unlikable companion, "Ah, Tsukasa-senpai, nice to see ya again!"
He thinks he shakes his hand a little too hard with the way he clenches his teeth slightly. "Likewise, Yukihira Souma."
"So, been having a lil' reunion, eh?"
"Oh, actually, Erina just told me she's moved into your place. Sounds like a big step for you two. Congratulations!" At Souma's cynical question, apparently Eishi takes it as an opportunity to make a joke after that obviously insincere greeting. "Soon you're going to have babies."
And as Erina is choking on that martini, Souma is mentally hitting this grandpa-haired motherfucker with a baseball bat repeatedly in his head.
"Haha, you're funny, y'know." His sarcastic tone is intentional. "So how'd you know Ramsay?"
"Well, he visited Blanc on his recent trip to Tokyo. Of course he booked in advance under his name, and I'll have you know that that kind of anxiety hadn't come in such a long time that I insisted I'd be the only one cooking everything for-"
Erina starts laughing.
"What?" Both men ask almost at the same time. Though Souma's tone leans towards the what's-so-funny kind.
"You don't even have to finish the rest of the story for me to figure out the ending. How predictable." She takes another sip of her cocktail before she continues rather excitedly, "He praised your cooking, and then somehow you engaged in a great conversation with him before he invited you here."
Yeah, for a guy who's just a representative of someone else's restaurant in this event, hearing that (especially with said guy's girlfriend to march along his parade) hurts his pride more than a little.
"Wow, Erina. I didn't realize I'm still an open book to you."
"Come on, Eishi. You always have been to everyone around you."
And for sure, this party pooper has to act all I'm-his-only-ex-so-don't-blame-me.
"To me, it's just funny that Ramsay would even have the idea to travel to Tokyo and end up eating the kind of French food he's had a million times before."
"Y-Yukihira!"
Aight, to be fair, he does deserve that spat on the chest, but he regrets nothing.
"You know, I was actually thinking the same thing as Yukihira, but I think he's heard about Blanc's unique concept in highlighting seasonal ingredients, so I think that pretty much sums it up." Eishi shrugs.
And with the long pause that makes its sudden presence, coming along with it is also Souma's stronger urge to punch him in the face.
"Well, before the situation gets more uncomfortable, I better get back to my table." Eishi turns himself around, "It's nice to see you again, Erina. You look great tonight."
The warlock may be gone, but should he really graze her upper arm right like that before he left?
If the urge was strong before, believe him; he really tries hard not to make a scene for the sake of Shino's London second Michelin star.
Though he sure does the minute they arrive home from the party when Erina calls him out on it- don't blame him. It's never really easy to keep his actual feelings for a while, especially when being triggered.
"I don't see any reason why you should act so rude towards him. We were just talking!" She says.
Oh, he has every damn reason to be rude, alright:
1. He still attempted to keep their first-name basis with his girlfriend.
2. No Erina, some skinship isn't just talking.
3. Said girl actually (and irritatingly plainly) defends her ex-boyfriend. What the actual fuck?
"Yukihira, you know those don't mean anything right?"
Geez, even when being told, she still doesn't get it. "To you maybe. But you'll never know his true intentions, Nakiri."
"Why does it even matter to you? He is my ex for a reason, Yukihira, and he knows I'm with you. Why would he want anything more to do with us?"
"And you thought I'm the dense one." Souma sighs irritatedly, "I saw everything, Nakiri. The way he looked at you, the way he touched you or how he told you how great you look. Now don't tell me that bastard doesn't wanna single crap from ya because even this dense of a guy noticed!"
At this point, the blonde starts to sound irritated with the way she hastily get off the couch, "What are you even talking about?! You are overthinking this!"
"'Cause as far as I'm concerned, he's the other guy you've had feelings for!" Now fingers are pointed. Voices are raised to the point it's hard for their neighbors to not eavesdrop. "Yeah! This Mr. I-have-four-Michelin-star-restaurants, and clearly, he's the type of dude who you'd rather have kids with rather than, oh what was it again, a plebeian, like me!"
"Why would I even want to have kids with him when I don't want it with you?! We've shared the same thing, Yukihira! We can live without-"
"It's just always been you, Nakiri! You!"
Aight now, whoa- Did he really just confessed?
"I-Is this why you're this insecure? Because you…"
"Yes, Erina. I want kids. I always do."
Well, it's too late to take it all back, ain't it?
Of course, he's made her gape so wide that she has the need to sit back down, with her fingers tangled in her hair and all. He can see a drop of sweat appearing on her temple, and he does not like this reaction.
In fact, this shouldn't have happened at all. He knew back then if he's going to be serious with her, they have to be able to work things out- work their differences aside and put their relationship on top.
And yet, when this thing raises to the surface, why does he feel like the devil?
"W-Why did you… this fight.. This fight wasn't even about this at the first place…" She buries her face in her palms, "But then why did you have to…"
"This has been buggin' me for a while, y'know. Ever since you moved in, when you-"
"J-Just shut up for a goddamn second, Yukihira!"
And when she yells with added curse word, he knows he's fucked shit up.
"First you were yelling about Eishi because it turns out you are capable of the feeling of jealousy and insecurity, and now suddenly, out of the blue, you tell me you actually want kids when I thought we both don't- I-I don't-"
"'Kay, now you know the truth, alright." He sits down on the coffee table where he can face her. "Does it change your mind?"
Her glistening amethyst eyes look deep into his for a moment. Then she shakes her head hesitantly.
"Will you at least consider it?"
This time she just freezes, except for that single tear that escapes.
"Thought so." Souma fights to keep his head up while wiping Erina's cheek. "Look, Nakiri. I... really don't know what to do anymore."
"Neither do I."
They stay silent for what feels like eternity. With his temple collided with hers and her small shivering hands in his, he can feel the air is slowly being taken away from his painful lungs, and it intensifies each time his ears catch the sound of her sniffling nose.
A part of him wants to reach for her figure and hold it close to him. A part of him wants to try and convince her that whatever kind of stormy night runs through her mind only stays there, or how much he wants to tell her that everything will be okay as long as they got each other.
And yet he finds himself stills like he's gradually turning into a statue without much ability but to hear the sound of himself cracking to pieces when nothing comes out of her mouth. She doesn't fight for him. She never will fight for him. She will always stay guarded within herself.
Where even then on their hardest days, he would always put her first, and it breaks him even more when the feeling doesn't change now.
»»-¤-««
(additional) a/n: Feel like seeing more? Let me know in the review!