Disclaimer I Do Not Own Twilight, Kool-Aid, Mortal Combat,

Or Dakota Fanning (Nor Do I wish to)

What The Smurf!

By Silent Smoker Herself

"Oh sweet! Kool-Aid" Charlie said sipping it; it was some bitter-ass Kool-Aid!

"Uh, add some sugar" he commented

"Well I would but we're all out" I explained.

"Aww" He Whimpered

I then went upstairs and began writing to my online friend: The Mysterious Zeff, we were debating on the right thing to do in different scenarios.

"No. THAT IS FUCKED UP! The Right thing is to kill the leprechaun and steal his gold, I would forget about his "curse"...Fuckin' Fruity ass leprechaun".

This was his reply to one of the crazy scenarios I made up. I wrote: "Well hell that's a pretty selfish thing to do considering your mom would die, but bravo you got the gold." I waited about five minutes for a reply.

Edward was out hunting with Emmett.

Zeff wrote back: "well played Bella, well played"

I laughed at myself and thought of another scenario.

"O.K. what if you fall in love with a vampire but he leaves you, then you love with a werewolf but the vampire comes back, and even though you LOVE the werewolf you're IN love with the vampire."

I waited about two minutes before he wrote back:

"What the hell!? Out of all the shit we talk about that is the most outrageous load of shit yet...Anyway this is what I'd do...I'd RUN BITCH!...rotfl"

I felt silly because I knew no one would understand. I was about to write: "Yeah you're right"...when he sent something, it sent a chill down my spine

"I know your secret Swan."

Then another one came in:

"Lol...Just messin' with you. I have no idea why I said that"

I couldn't believe I got so scared, I wrote:

"I got nothing to hide; you on the other hand are book open to the world Zeff!"

Zeff: "oh so you know some of my secrets. Go on..."

"Alright but if my computer starts sending tears remember you asked for it. I know that if you're given the opportunity to punch Dakota Fanning you'd reenact a mortal combat scene with a leprechaun, and you'd also go streaking in a gay pride parade if someone dared you...yes you would. Oh gosh you would you so would!!"(Send)

"Oh that's cruel Bella but true, but you forgot one thing"

"What's that?" I asked curiously

"That I love you"

My mouth dropped...I immediately typed:

"JACOB"

"Yup"

Man I then typed:

"Are you smurfin' me...I should have known"

"You really should have, oh and to answer your question, I would have chose the werewolf"

"That was mean; you're acting like a boob"

"Maybe but you love this boob and this boob loves you, don't lie"

I was so mad, I wanted to smash my computer, throw it out the window and set it on fire but I knew he was right

"Come by" popped up on the screen

Without thinking I began driving until I was in Jacobs's room, we didn't say much, for some reason we started hard core dancing.

Then I went home.

Edward was in my room when I got back.

I looked over at my computer the e-mails were still on the screen...he had read them

"Hi" I said a bit embarrassed

"Hi, I'm not mad...and just so you know I like to PAR-TAY!"

Then he ripped off his pants and flew out the window

...

"What The Smurf...?" was all I could get to come out

Yeah it kinda weird in some parts but that's just me if it gets good reviews I'll write more.

-Silent Smoker