Inu: It's better than the last one, which had a bunch of spelling errors. Sorry about that.
Warnings: Uhm, shounen ai, implied yaoi, and very confusing dialogue.
Summary: Chi-Chi and Bulma KNOW that Vegeta and Goku are the straightest men in the universe, until…ONE SHOT
Chi-Chi and Bulma were out, doing their weekly shopping spree. Every Saturday, the two would abandon the guys with their children, and went out for a day of fun. So, of course, Goku and Vegeta did whatever they felt like in order to entertain themselves.
Usually, said entertainment would be sparring, so Chi-Chi and Bulma found it strange when their husbands were not outside, destroying mountains and sending small animals flying every which way (which Goten and Trunks would usually catch).
Chi-Chi blinked, shifting the multiple shopping bags in her hands into a more comfortable position.
"I wonder where those two are?" she asked her blue-haired friend.
Bulma shrugged, "Maybe they got tired of sparring, and did something else?"
Chi-Chi looked around, and spotted her youngest son, immediately calling the small boy over.
"Yeah mom?" Goten asked.
"Where are Vegeta and your dad?"
"Oh, they decided to go to some secluded spot near the mountains for private training."
"Private training?" Bulma asked, "Since when do they do private training?"
Trunks walked over, and shrugged, "Since they started talking weird to each other."
The two women blinked, confused.
"What?"
"Like, sometimes you hear dad say 'I refuse to put that in me, Kakarot!'" Trunks mimicked Vegeta.
"And then daddy would say 'But you GOTTA, Vegeta! It's not THAT big, after all! It'll fit!'" Gotens said, in a voice that he thought sounded like Goku's.
The two older women blanched, and tried for their best smiles.
"Uhm, Goten? Trunks?" Chi-Chi asked sweetly, "Do you by chance know WHERE this place is?"
"Yep!" the boys chorused.
"Take us there immediately!!" Bulma nearly yelled, losing her cool.
Both boys blinked, but refused to question it, and flew them to the spot where they eavesdropped on their fathers.
"Shh!" Chi-Chi whispered, and listened to two very manly voices.
"Kakarot, we've been this over, and over, and over again! I am not putting that thing in me!!" Vegeta yelled.
"Vegeta, we've been through this over and over and over again because you're too afraid to put this in!"
"It's friggin huge!!" Vegeta said in defense, "It won't fit in this tiny hole. Besides, that THING you're trying to put in me is yours."
Bulma and Chi-Chi looked at each other in disbelief, while Trunks and Goten blinked, wondering what the big deal was.
"Augh! Look, I was scared when they did this to me too, but it's not that painful. You get used to the pain after a while!" Goku argued.
"It's not the same thing! What they put in you was tiny compared to that crap!"
It had happened more than once?! Chi-Chi shook her head, on the brink of fainting, and Bulma slapped her gently a couple of times.
"Besides, it's going to start bleeding, and I hate to get blood on my good clothes. And that cream of yours might stain too. Bulma would have a fit if I ruined them," Vegeta reasoned.
Now BULMA nearly fainted.
"Ugh, it's not gonna stain. If it gets on your clothes, we'll wash it right off, and she'll never know!" Goku said.
Chi-Chi never knew Goku could be so…sneaky.
Vegeta finally sighed in defeat, "Fine, Kakarot, do it."
"NOOOOO!!!" Both women screamed, jumping into view, expecting to see two very naked men, in a very compromising position.
Instead, they saw two very clothed, very straight men, one of which was about to put an earring in the ear of the other, and both looked very, very confused.
"Chi-Chi? Bulma? Is something wrong?" Goku asked innocently.
"Were…were you two…eavesdropping?" Vegeta asked incredulously.
Chi-Chi was the first to regain face, and blushed, "Uhm...what are you two doing?"
"Oh! Vegeta and I were going to practice in our fused form, Vegito, by using the Potara earrings. Then, once we were done, we were gonna fly to Buu so that he could change us back to normal," Goku explained, "But Vegeta is being a wuss, and says the little stick in the earring is too big to fit into the piercing on his ear that I was just about to make."
Bulma blinked, "O-Okay…wh-what about the 'cream' you were talking about?"
Vegeta gave his wife a flat glare, and pointed to a white cream which helped to stop infections to newly made piercings, which is to be applied after the piercing is made.
"O-Okay…what were you talking about when you said it's happened more than once?" Chi-Chi demanded.
"We were talking about the various shots Kakarot has been given in the hospital, and how those needles were smaller than the earrings…" Vegeta explained slowly, "Why are you so interested in knowing all of this?"
The two girls blushed, and shook their heads, giving half-assed explanations, and walking away, quite flustered, then immediately had their sons fly them home.
"I wonder what was wrong with them?" Goku asked, worried.
Vegeta stayed silent, thinking over what had happened, and replaying their conversation in his head, when finally, it clicked.
"AUGH!" he cried out, "That's disgusting!"
"What is?" Goku asked, still confused.
"They thought we were having sex or something!" he exclaimed.
Goku blushed profusely, and gagged, "Augh! Ew!!!"
And for the next five minutes or so, the two men acted rather maturely, making gagging noises and showing that they hated said idea.
Finally, Vegeta was the first to regain his composure, and shook his head.
"Women are weird. Especially earth women."
Goku shrugged, "Oh well. We married them."
Vegeta nodded, "They should know we'd never be gay."
"Very true."
"And they should also know that there's no way YOU would top ME."
Goku stopped mid-nod before looking at Vegeta, a challenge in his eyes, "What was that?"
Vegeta didn't even spare him a glance, "I SAID, I would top YOU."
"That's not true!"
Vegeta gave him a glare, and the challenge was accepted.
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is TOO!!"
"Is NOT!!"
"IS TOO!!!"
"IS NOT!!!"
"Alright, Kakarot, words never solve problems like these, so I'll just prove it!!"
"Bring it on, Vegeta!"
Chi-Chi sighed, shaking her head.
How could she think that Goku would actually be gay? They had two children for Christ's sake!
Bulma was seated beside her at the table, thinking pretty much the same thing.
After realizing how dumb they had acted, they had the boys fly them to Chi-Chi's house, and they sat at the table, drinking coffee.
Bulma managed a smile, and giggled, "Oh well, at least it didn't really happen. And we'll laugh about this in the future, right?"
Chi-Chi laughed a little and nodded, "Right! Imagine, Goku and Vegeta together!"
At that moment, a very irate looking Goku walked in, limping ever-so slightly, followed by a very smug looking Vegeta, and both men sat at the table with their wives, or rather, Vegeta sat down, and Goku tried to, whined about it, then stayed standing.
"What happened?" Bulma asked.
Vegeta's grin widened, and Goku pouted.
"He put his thing in my hole."
The girls hoped to god they were still talking about earrings.