AN; Madoka, why you do this to me?
Clearly, I'm weak...weak to endings that depress me, and my desire to make them happier. I'm far from the first in that regard, especially in this fandom. It doesn't help that Homura is my favorite character, and no matter what way you look at it she never gets a happy ending, even in her own universe. Thus, we have this. I am aware that the Madoka story is one not designed to have a traditional happy ending...but here we are anyway.
Don't! Stop trying to save me!
I can't leave! I have to die in here! Don't you understand, the Incubators can get to Madoka if you save me!
Everyone, you have to kill me! I can't have Madoka captured because of me! Don't try and rescue me! Just kill me, I'll be okay! It doesn't matter what happens to me, as long as she is safe!
No! STOP!
In her grief-stricken mind, Homura Akemi begged the other Magical Girls to leave her...let her die in her Labyrinth. She couldn't be rescued. It wouldn't be a rescue! She would just be putting Madoka in danger again, no matter what happened! Why couldn't they see that?! Sayaka Miki had her memories. Surely she at least could see the danger here! The Incubators would have their way to get at Madoka if they broke the barrier with her still alive. That couldn't happen!
But no matter what she did, no matter how she begged, Homura could only watch through Homulily's eyes as her Familiars fell. As Oktavia was armed with Kyoko's ultimate spear, aiming directly at the edge of the barrier.
Stop! Please! Don't do it!
Her voice could never reach the others. Even if it could, it wouldn't matter. Homura had always underestimated the others...underestimated their determination to save others. Even if she didn't want to be saved...they would do it anyway. She understood that now, even as her shattered conscious cursed them for it.
NO!
Oktavia shattered the barrier, leaving it open to a final shot from Madoka...and even without her true power, that girl was far too strong to fail. Homulily's labyrinth shattered, revealing the Incubators looking down on it. But the Witch herself failed to notice. Trapped in her own mind, Homura was reliving her worst memory...Madoka's ruined body laying in her arms, rain falling in a broken cityscape. Tears fell from her eyes, fogging her glasses as she clutched the lifeless body to her chest.
I failed you again. Everything I've done, everything I've suffered through and I failed again! Why?! Why can't I die?!
"Homura."
Madoka?
"I told you not to run off by yourself," despite her lips not moving, Madoka's arm reached up to gently caress Homura's tear-stained face, "no matter what happens, you're still you. And I could never abandon you."
Clutching the hand, Homura's body shook with sobs. Her heart tore in two, the joy of Madoka's touch overwhelmed with fear of what would happen to her. She shouldn't be here!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so weak!
Even as the scene faded away and Homura saw Magical Girl Madoka crouching in front of her, tears still fell. Her grief-stained hands...covered in black...clutched desperately at Madoka's own. Clutched at any comfort she could find, as her heart broke all over again. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't. Homura was broken...broken by the pain and suffering. Was it any wonder she wanted it all to end?
I just wanted you back! I'm so sorry...I just wanted to see you, one more time. I'd commit the worst sin, just for that one chance...Madoka!
The smiling face in front of her didn't change. Madoka's gentle smile...the smile that Homura had missed so, so much. It hurt to see that smile...the pain of both happiness and utter despair mixed together.
I'd become a monster, if only to see you...one more time.
Homura's grief flew away at Madoka's touch, revealing the Magical Girl underneath.
"It wouldn't matter...as long as I could have you back," she spoke, feeling the familiar weight of her...Madoka's...weapon in her hand once more.
Madoka looked directly into her eyes, pink on violet, "Let's end this...together."
Not trusting her voice, Homura put her weapon against Madoka's own. The black contrasted with the dark brown...just as the deepest parts of Homura's heart contrasted with her dear friend's kindness. She didn't let that show though...she just relished in the feeling...the feeling of Madoka's hand on her own once again. She could never let this go away.
Ever.
"You ready?" the pinkette continued.
"Uh huh."
A brilliant flash of pink light surrounded the girls, fading away to reveal a web of branches, their weapons fused together atop Homulily's head. Both girls stood side by side atop it, smiles on their faces. Homura felt...at peace. She didn't know if it was Madoka's power or her own feelings, but the light had left her with a feeling of ease.
However...
"You aren't scared, are you?" Madoka asked gently.
The taller girl shook her head, "No...I'm not afraid. I'm ready."
The feeling of ease did not last, as a wave of Madoka's arrows shot into the air. Homura's sight faded away, replaced by darkness once more. Without the contact of Madoka, she was back in her Soul Gem...back in the darkness of her curse.
Surrounded by her returning grief and despair, Homura felt adrift. The happiness of having Madoka back was fading away, quickly replaced by the despair that the knowledge of the truth brought. Outside her Labyrinth...she would lose her friend once more. Even were she taken away by the Law of Cycles, it would not matter. The Incubators were still a threat. They would still take Madoka away from her...hurt her friend, if not kill her. And there was nothing she could do to stop that. Homura Akemi was useless...nothing but a failed protector, who couldn't even save her friend. The grief continued to build, forcing her Soul Gem to stay dark despite everything that had happened.
Nothing mattered anymore, if Madoka was just going to be taken away from her again. She couldn't live with that. She would sooner die than let Madoka be taken away again. Homura had experienced that pain. She was feeling it all over again, and she didn't ever want that. No matter what, she could not let the Incubators win. She could not let Madoka leave her again.
I would...sooner become a monster. Yes. I know what I have to do now.
Homura's eyes slowly opened, blinking just as slowly. First Mami and Kyoko came into view, looking into the air. Then a spike of rage, as she saw one of Walpurgisnacht's familiars pulling a chariot of sorts. Sayaka Miki and the unknown girl that-used-to-be-Charlotte were the ones driving it, down a long path with brilliant light in the distance. Light that resolved with a third blink...into the source of Homura's anguish and...love. Madoka Kaname, the real Madoka Kaname. Her long pink hair flowing behind her, white dress blowing in a nonexistent breeze to reveal stars underneath. Golden eyes, shining above a wide and gentle smile. She was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful being to ever grace the universe.
Homura hated her with every fiber of her being. The pink hair should have been shorter, with pink ribbons tying it back...the ribbons in her own hair. Not these white bows. Golden eyes had replaced soft pink orbs, that had always brought happiness to the former time-traveler. Her billowing white dress only served to remind Homura of the curse...the curse of Madoka's wish, that had left her dear friend in this state in the first place. So very far away from her. Cursed with the duty of taking on all the suffering of every Magical Girl. Madoka herself had said she could never, ever, do something like that.
"You waited for me, all this time," the mockery of Madoka spoke softly, "I'm sorry it took so long...but I'm here now."
"Madoka..."
"Come on Homura, let's go now...we can be together."
Together...yes. Together...forever.
Even as the mockery of her friend lowered herself, Homura turned her head. Violet eyes, dull and emotionless on the outside, looked anywhere but her.
"You don't have any idea...how long I've waited."
The hands lowered towards her Soul Gem, even as a smug smile appeared on her lips.
"For this..."
Her hands snapped up, grabbing Madoka's sharply.
"Homura?"
Deep inside her soul, Homura Akemi finally snapped. Her mind had broken, desire and obsession overtaking rational thought. She pulled Madoka towards herself, smile widening even as her Soul Gem went black...before filling with a million competing colors. Colors that began shooting out in whips, darkness and color alike overtaking everything around the Magical Girl and her Goddess. Resembling nothing more than the formation of a Witch, the 'whips' surrounded her and Madoka, cutting off everything else. It was only Homura and Madoka, as it always should have been. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else needed to matter.
Because all there was to Homura was Madoka. Everything else was an accessory. Everything else was pointless. Only the girl in her grip was anything worth holding onto anymore. And she would hold on until the end. No matter what she became in the process. Madoka was never leaving her again. She was never letting go again. The two would never be split apart again.
"What's going on?!" Kyoko's voice rang dully in Homura's ears.
Ignoring the other girl, she spoke once more, "Now...I've got you."
"What does she think she's doing? Homura?!"
Not even Mami's voice mattered anymore.
"Her Soul Gem! What are all those horrible colors?"
"That's not a curse..." Sayaka Miki's voice sounded terrified, "What is it? Obsession? Desire? Homura...what's happening to you?!"
Everything is happening to me, Sayaka Miki. Everything that should be happening. I no longer care what I must become. If this is obsession, so be it. I will not let Madoka leave me again. EVER.
"I don't expect you to understand," Homura finally acknowledged the others, "This emotion is mine, and mine alone. And I've been saving it...all for her."
The darkness grew ever larger, sweeping out around the group, forcing the other Magical Girls away. They could not be allowed to interfere. This was how things should end...Madoka with her. Homura would never let go, no matter what anyone said. No matter what it did to her. She was...not letting go!
"Homura-chan!"
Eyes snapping back above her, the shattered girl looked into...terrified golden orbs.
"You're hurting me! I...please..."
Time stopped. The eyes above her were frozen in that terrified stare, pain clear in them. Pain that Homura was causing. Pain that she was familiar with. Pain that...should never be in Madoka Kaname's eyes.
I...
And once again, everything faded to black.
Why...why does everything I do hurt her?!
No matter what I try, everything ends with Madoka in pain!
Pain being caused by you Homura Akemi.
I...never wanted this. She left me no choice! If I don't do this, Madoka will leave again! The Incubators...
Are a convenient excuse, nothing more. This is our obsession. Our desire. Our love for Madoka given form. If we cannot have her, no one else can. That is how it should be. That is how it will be. No matter if we cause her pain. Pain is temporary. Our new world will be forever.
Is that really how this has to be?
Madoka...she...
No. No. No.
Yes...we must do this. She will be ours.
NO! It is not worth causing Madoka pain! Nothing is worth causing her pain!
Everything is worth it! She cannot LEAVE US AGAIN!
My wish...my wish was to be strong enough to protect her. Protect her from everything. Walpurgisnacht. Kyubey. Witches. Her own despair and loneliness. I will protect her from everything...even...
I...will protect her. Even from myself!
No!
Somewhere, deep inside the shattered mind of Homura Akemi, a spark of remorse broke through her obsession. The slithering darkness began to fade away, her Soul Gem fading to black, limp hands falling away. Time seemed to resume, Madoka floating away from the limp girl beneath her. Kyoko and Mami ran forward, mixed concern and fear on their faces. But that was nothing for the look on the Goddess' face. Madoka's golden eyes had gone even wider, with fear now instead of pain. Fear for Homura...who had stopped moving, a deep crack down her Soul Gem.
"Homura!" she shouted, only the grip of Sayaka on her arm preventing Madoka from reaching down once more.
"Don't Madoka," the blue-haired girl said softly, "I don't know what just happened, but...don't. We can't risk that happening again."
"But..."
Homura's eyes opened once more, dull to the point of looking lifeless, "Madoka...I'm sorry. So sorry."
Tears freely fell from those eyes, a remorseful expression flashing across the broken girl, only to be replaced by...nothingness. Her emotions were drained. There was nothing left...nothing but pain and hatred. No longer directed at Madoka. No longer directed at Kyubey. Only at herself...for hurting the one person who meant everything to her. To fall so far...to hurt Madoka was something that could never be forgiven. Homura Akemi had almost destroyed everything that mattered to her in a fit of rage and obsession. And yes...love as well.
Nothing could ever make up for that.
And yet, more tears joined them. Tears from pink eyes.
"You...don't have anything to apologize for."
"Madoka! She almost tore you in two!"
"Sayaka-chan..."
A weak statement crossed Homura's lips at that, "She is correct. Madoka...I can never be forgiven. Let me die...I don't..."
I don't know if I can stop myself again. Even now, I want to grab you again...finish what I began. I'm...broken. Please, don't try and save me. Just let me die...you will be safer that way. I can only hope that Sayaka can keep the Incubators away.
"I'm here to save you Homura!" Madoka shook her head, a familiar determined expression crossing her face.
"I can't be saved..."
There was nothing worth saving. Homura had hurt her dearest friend...her love. She had hurt her, despite being in a form that should have been beyond any pain. She had nearly torn the world apart, all out of selfish desire. A desire that would see her cast down everything, even her wish to protect Madoka. That could never be forgiven...surely, even Madoka with a heart big enough for the entire universe, could see that. Homura was beyond saving now...she had to die, before she hurt her love once again.
And yet...
"I already told you Homura...I'm never leaving you behind," that soft voice spoke, hands moving towards her Soul Gem again even as a clearly untrusting Sayaka held Homura's arms down, "I could never leave you behind."
Don't!
But no matter what her opinion on the matter was, Madoka would not be swayed. Her soft hands gently grasped Homura's Soul Gem, cradling the cracked object like a newborn. Darkness flew from the Gem into her hands, black slowly replaced by deep violet. It was only a matter of seconds until the Gem was full cleansed...and vanished into Madoka's hands.
Tears began falling down Homura's face once again, horrified at what this surely meant.
"Why are you crying?" Madoka gently whispered, hands moving to clasp her friend's face, "You're safe now Homura. We can be together again...I wish it had been sooner, but we're together now."
"You don't understand!" pain ran through Homura at that touch, "The Incubators! This is all a..."
"Trap?"
That wasn't Madoka...that was Sayaka Miki, who now had a pitying look on her face.
"We know that already. Why do you think we went in instead of just having Madoka break you out?" the bluenette shook her head, "The moment we found out what the Incubators were doing, we knew it had to be because of Madoka...why else would they turn you into a Witch?"
"But..."
Sayaka just shook her head again, "Look, Homura. Relax, we've got this under control. Madoka?"
The pink-haired Goddess nodded, "Sayaka-chan is right, Homura. Have you forgotten? I made my wish to protect everyone from despair. And that gave me enough power to change the universe...making the Incubators forget about Witches. I haven't lost that power."
Power...how stupid am I? How could I have forgotten that Madoka possesses that power. She will not rewrite the universe, I know that. But rewriting the Incubator's memories...
It was stupid of her to think her friend went into this blind. Or that she was incapable of countering the Incubators. Why did she always doubt Madoka?
"Come on Homura...let's go home," Madoka continued, gently taking her hand.
Home. Yes...anywhere where I can be with Madoka is home. I...I don't deserve this. But perhaps, I can finally live with her like I have always wanted. I...I love you Madoka. I can only hope you feel the same.
And even as she felt her vision fade away, Homura knew deep down...she did.
AN: And there we go. It feels exceedingly odd to do a one-shot, but it fits here.
Now, I feel like this is actually a reasonable way the events at the end of Rebellion could go. Maybe that's because I actually understand Homura and can sympathize with her motives...understand exactly why she did what she did.
"I wish...I wish to meet Ms. Kaname again, except this time...I want to be strong enough to protect her!"
That was what started everything. Note the wording...protect. In Rebellion, Homura took that as meaning she should protect Madoka from her own wish, what she saw as a curse. Even if she had to become a demon to do so, she would do it in a heartbeat.
In here, we have a slight wording change...instead of 'You're tearing me apart!' which would only push Homura on- she's hearing what she is doing is working. Namely that she's tearing human Madoka from the Law of Cycles Madoka. Instead, we have 'You're hurting me.'
That change in wording is small...but highly significant. Because somewhere, deep down, Homura wants to protect Madoka from anything that can hurt her. Even up to, and including, herself. That's how I'm interpreting it anyway. *shrug*
I hope anyone who reads this enjoyed it. I'll probably end up with another fic here before too long, knowing my muse as I do.
Remember to review if you did like it!