A.N. : This is a crack fic. If you don't like crack fics, then you probably shouldn't read.

I don't own The Hunger Games.

Well now that business is out of the way... COMMENCE THE STORY ! :)

"The day was October 31. It was a dark, stormy ( imagine that!) night . Perfect for contacting the other side... MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" ( Sorry, couldn't help myself)

" Peeta, do me a favor and SHUT UP!" Katniss snapped at me, irritated.

I crossed my arms and pouted. " What, you don't like my scary voice acting?"

" No. Now hand me that box."

I frowned, but handed the said box to Katniss. She and I were cleaning out the attic ( what fun!). As those who have ever attempted to clean out an attic know, it is not a very fun experience, ranking somewhere between going to a family reunion and getting your braces tightened, on the list of tedious tasks. I, being the awesome guy I was, was attempting to make the task more bearable for my girlfriend, but as you can see, was not being appreciated for it.

Well, she didn't like my voice acting maybe I should try singing. " Whoa, I just want your dirty love, whoa I just want your dirty lo-" My Ke$ha imitation was cut short as Katniss flung a dusty box at me and hit me in the face.

" Ow!" I exclaimed, rubbing the spot she'd hit me. " My beautiful face!"

Katniss rolled her eyes and turned her back to me. Hmph. If she wanted to be THAT way, she could clean the stupid attic herself.

As I turned to make a dramatic exit, my foot hit a bump. " Ahhh!" I shrieked as I went flying through the air and smacked the floor.

" Ugh" I turned to see what had tripped me, and I will be screwed to say it was the same box that Katniss had oh-so lovingly launched at me moments before. " Aw Pudding Cuppit!" I cursed. " Katniss see what, you've done?"

I looked over to where she was going through the boxes. She didn't seem to have heard me. " KATNISS!" I yelled, irritated. " KATNISS!"

Oh, so that was how she wanted to play it. Injure me then ignore me while I am laying on this dusty floor DYING! Knowing that I was not going to get any assistance, I pulled myself up then began to hobble out the door. I then remembered the cursed box and picked that up too ( I was going to dispose of it before it caused me any more bodily harm.)

I walked the short distance to my bedroom, tossed the box on the shelf next to my Beanie Babies, and flopped on my bed and took a long nap. While sleeping, I had a dream. In it, Katniss and I were at Wal-Mart and were arguing wether or not to get a new toaster, when Adam Levine showed up and gave out free sporks and was all like " LLAMAS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO VOTE!".

I was all like " I KNOW RIGHT!"

So he was all like " COOL MAN! WANNA GO GET SOME GRANOLA BARS?!"

And I was like " OF COURSE! WILL YOU SHOW ME THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER?!"

And he said " Dude, I AM JAGGER!" That was when he ripped his face off and I discovered that it wasn't Adam Levine of Maroon5 standing before me, it was actually Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.

So of course, I was all like " NO WAY!"

" YES WAY!" Mick screamed in his accent.

That was when Katniss turned around and saw him." NO!" She yelled. " WATCH OUT PEETA! IT'S A BUNNY!" And she shot him with her arrow in the chest.

I stood there, dumbounded, as Mick slumped to the ground. " NOOOO! Say it isn't so!" I wailed then started to sob. " Katniss you flipping idiot, that wasn't a bunny rabbit, that was MICK JAGGER!"

I heard snickering coming from the frozen tv dinners, and turned around to see Steven Tyler giggling hysterically standing in the cereal aisle. " YES!" He yelled. " FINALLY! The time has come..."

Then I woke up.

" Aw nuts!" I exclaimed. I hate cliffhangers! I rolled back over in bed, willing myself to go back to sleep. Laying there, eyes closed, I began to drift off to Wal-Mart once more, but was awakened by a scraping noise.

That's weird. I thought Buttercup was hangin' with his girlfriend tonight. Guess I was mistaken. " KATNISS!" I yelled, pulling the blanket over my head, " LET THE CAT OUT!"

The noise stopped, so I figured she'd let Buttercup out. At least untill I heard it again. I groaned. " KATNISS!"

" WHAT?!" She screamed, sounding pissed ( guess it was that time of the month or something).

" LET THE CAT OUT!" I yelled back, equally pissed.

" THE CAT'S NOT HERE DUMBASS!"

Whatever. I guess I'd have to let Buttercup out myself.

" Buttercup! Buttercup!" I called. " Oh, Buttercup!" Walking around, I saw no sign of the cat. Maybe he really WAS not here. Perhaps I was imagining the scratching noise. Either way, I had to see what happened next in my epic dream!

I raced back to my bedroom, prepared to jump into my comfy bed, but something made me stop short.

It was my Beanie Babies.

I stood there for a moment, in shock at the condition of my Babies. Then I started to cry. " NOOOOOO!"

I guess I was wailing loudly, because Katniss poked her head in the door. " Peeta, what's wrong now?"

I grabbed one of the animals and clutched it to my chest, still sobbing. That was when I realized ; I didn't do this, and Buttercup wasn't in the house. There was only one other person who could have tortured my poor Beanies...

I turned towards Katniss, eyes blazing in anger. " YOU!"

Katniss took a step back. " What? she asked. Then she saw the Beanie Babies. " Peeta, why the hell did you put your Beanie Babies through a wood chipper?"

" Not me. YOU!" I screamed, pointing at her. " YOU, did THIS!" I pointed at my be-headed bear and another that's stuffing was covering the floor. " THESE WERE SPECIAL, COLLECTERS ITEMS YOU BITCH !"

Katniss crossed her arms. " Oh yeah, you know how I enjoy enflicting pain on STUFFED ANIMALS!" She snipped sarcastically.

" SHUT UP YOU EVIL, MURDEROUS BEEOTCH!" I screamed, furious. " I KNOW IT WAS YOU!"

Katniss' scowled as her face turned red. " GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! I. Did. NOT. Do. ANYTHING. To. Your. STUPID STUFFED ANIAMLS!"

" SO I SUPPOSE THEY DID THIS TO THEMSELVES?!"

"YEAH I GUESS THEY DID!"

" BEANIE BABIES ARE NOT SUICIDAL !"

This went on for quite a while, I accusing Katniss, and Katniss defending herself, with lots of curse words and name calling thrown in. Untill, finally, Katniss stormed down the hallway, cursing me and my Beanie Babies all the way.

" FINE!" I shouted. " BE THAT WAY, GO RUN AND HIDE!".

I heard the slam of the front door. Ohhhhh, Katniss slammed the door, she's SUCH a badass. NOT.

Now that THAT situation had taken place, I turned around to asses the state of my Babies. It appeared that 7 were missing limbs, 5 were missing heads, and the rest's stuffing was currently blanketing my floor. I would have to get my sewing kit ASAP if my Beanie Babies were to survive.

Thanks for reading !.Well here's the part where I beg for reviews * puppy dog eyes* And here's the part where I peak your intrest for the next chapter :

* le gasp * Is this the end for Katniss and Peeta ? Will the Beanies be able to be salvaged ? All these questions will be answered next time on THE BOX !