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Aftermath
By Terrenis
A/N: After the attack on the Helicarrier, Clint is in for a shock and not a good one… AU - version of the scene with Clint and Natasha after the attack
Pairing: established Clint/Coulson
Warnings: (character death?), contains spoiler for the Avengers movie and some swearing
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
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Clint moaned as he slowly regained consciousness. His whole brain felt as if a whole herd of circus elephants had left their footprints on it. He had to admit that Natasha had one hell of a punch, even injured. And he could assume that she had held back for his sake. But it's been an eternity that the two of them had been fighting outside the training room. The last time had been after their break-up…
The archer shook his head in order to bring back some clarity into his mind, but then his eyes widened when everything collapsed on him. He had helped the enemy. Somehow the god, who had appeared out of the blue into their base, had managed to bring not only him, but also Dr. Selvig and several other S.H.I.E.L.D. - Agents under his control and to steal the Tesseract from Fury.
And even worse was that he had led the attack on the Helicarrier. Phil would be so pissed. And Clint couldn't even blame his boyfriend. But that was an issue, which needed to be addressed later. What he needed most at the moment, was the painkiller of all painkillers.
As if a genie had heard his request, a hand appeared before his eyes, holding a glass of water, in which a tablet swam and slowly bubbling dissolved. Groaning, he accepted it, forced to wait until it had completely dissolved, and then emptied the glass with one large gulp. He didn't have to wait long until he felt the effect and the trampling slowly but surely stopped.
"Thank you, Tasha!" he groaned, the red-haired woman who sat next to him, beholding.
Black Widow gave him a brief smile before her beautiful face became serious again.
"You're again lucky that we were able to recalibrate your brain. Otherwise you would have found yourselves in an S.H.I.E.L.D – Prison!" she replied.
Clint just rolled his eyes, still too dazed to discuss this with his partner. Nevertheless, his mind drifted back to Phil. Why wasn't the Agent here? In previous situations, when Clint had gotten himself hurt, the Agent had been never far away, watching the archer when his time had allowed it. So why now?
Or had his involuntary defection disappointed Phil that much?
"Phil is probably still mad at me because of what happened. Well, I can not blame him!" Clint said into the room, not noticing how Natasha's body suddenly stiffened and her face took on a painful expression. The spy put a hand on his arm and forced him to look at her.
"Clint ..." she said unusually quiet. "Phil will not come to visit you!"
The Archer frowned. He had never seen Natasha like this.
"And why not? If he wants to put an end because of that...so be it. But then he should at least tell me himself." he replied with a loud voice, his anger rising.
Black Widow shook her head and unshed tears glistened in her eyes.
"It's not like that. Clint, Phil is ..." Her voice trembled and Clint got suddenly a dull feeling in his stomach. "Phil is dead, Clint. He tried to stop Loki from casting off Thor together with the Hulk chamber from the carrier. But one of his clones stabbed him from behind with that spear. I'm sorry, but we have come too late to help him. I'm sorry, I can not..."
The spy could not speak anymore and hastily left the room, leaving Clint alone. This one stared shocked and with wide eyes at the slamming door, before his gaze went hypnotized upwards at the ceiling, a familial pressure behind his eyes, which he didn't give in to. Not yet.
It couldn't be. Phil could not be dead. Not the best agent of S.H.I.E.L.D... Not his Phil.
But Natasha had never lied to him and he knew her long enough to know that she had told him the truth.
Although everything in his heart was screaming, Clint felt like petrified for the next few minutes, couldn't think or cry, before he struggled to get up and finally slipped off the bed. He had to do something now or he knew that he would freak out.
Although Clint knew it was a pointless waste of his powers, he kicked with a loud cry and full of force against the bed on which he had just lain. And then he did it again. And again. Until the archers legs gave way and he fell sobbing to the ground.
Why? Why oh why did Phil have to play the hero? Hadn't the agent known that such a thing was Hawkeyes task and his alone? But no, he had to do it anyway. And now he had left him alone forever.
Tears ran down Clint's face and his whole body trembled.
What should he do now?
° oOo °
In the meantime, Black Widow had gotten herself back under control. She had gone before she could show weakness in front of Hawkeye and to give him some time and space to digest the bad news. After all, the battle would start soon and she needed his full attention for the mammoth task which lay before them.
A loud sobbing sound was coming from the room and through the little window she could see her partner, sitting curled up on the ground in front of the bed, his face buried in his arms and his body trembling.
Although many people in S.H.I.E.L.D. believed her to be cold and unfeeling, her heart tensed up at the sight, for she was one of the few people who had known about Coulson and Clint's relationship. And it pained her to see her partner like this.
° oOo °
Hawkeye had no idea how long he had been crouching on the floor. But when he had no strength to cry left, he slowly heaved to his feet and went straight into the bathroom where he locked himself in order to refresh himself and think about the next step.
Clint didn't know how long he stayed in the small bathroom, but his thoughts were constantly revolving around Phil and what would happen if he confronted Loki again, which certainly was bound to happen soon. He knew that the god would be too strong for him, but he would be damned if he couldn't give Loki at least one or two bruises or, what would be the best solution, shoot him an arrow in those fucking green eyes. He owed Phil this much.
At this moment, he didn't care whether he would die or not. The main thing was that he and the others could stop Loki's campaign. And then he could still decide whether he would mourn Phil or join him.
With renewed determination he stepped out of the bathroom and saw not only Natasha sitting there, but also Captain America standing, asking if they could fly a jet. Clint smiled inwardly. The time for revenge had come very quickly.
"I can do that!" he heard himself reply.
Steve looked at him, then Tasha, who nodded to the Captain.
"Good. Here we go!" asked the captain.
Hawkeye moved around quickly, changed into his uniform, grabbed his quiver and his bow, and followed them both to the hangar, where the captain completely unorthodoxly captured one of the jets. Shortly after they had took of the ground, the archer threw a last look at the huge Helicarrier.
His last thought before they flew into the unknown, was:
'I'll see you in hell, Phil. And if not, then somewhere in between.'
° oOo °
Nick Fury watched as the jet took off from the flight deck and could not resist a little smile. His little trick had worked wonders, although he fully expected the Avengers to be pissed off if they ever figured out the truth, especially Hawkeye.
But there hadn't been another choice. Stark and Rogers had needed the motivation and he had given them this. And now he would see if it would help to stop Thors brother.
The director turned to the woman to his right, chuckling softly.
"How is Agent Coulson, Maria?" he asked.
"Stable. I think he will survive it!" she said.
Nick chuckled. "Good. I just hope when they have defeated that army, they will hopefully show a little mercy."
Maria raised an eyebrow sceptically.
"I doubt that. Hawkeye and the Captain will kill you!"
Fury shrugged his shoulders and turned around.
"It could be worse!"
Maria shook her head, but had, despite the serious situation, a smile on his face. Then she went back to her place, because after all they had to win a battle.
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Yes, I know there are better written fics out there, concerning this particular scene. But this has been on my hard drive for three weeks now and I felt like sharing it with you. If you like it, I might write two alternate endings - a good and a depressing end.