A long, long time ago, in another universe, on a distant star, in a distant atmosphere, in a distant continent (next to a distant ocean, which had a distant beach, with distant clams, and some rocks, but the rocks were actually quite close), in a distant field, with lots of distant grass, which was a distant shade of green, if you looked at it just right, there was…
NOTHING!
Kirby woke up. "Man, all that nothing makes me hungry!" he exclaimed. He fell out of bed with a thwopp!!, and rolled over to the door. After a few minutes, he realized that he could not open it by staring at it, and made a halfhearted effort to reach into the air to grab the doorknob, and pull the door open. After several fails, he finally got up, and opened the door. Exhausted from all this effort, he fell asleep. When he woke up, he climbed through the doorway into the hall, and took a short nap.
When he woke up, he was now fully awake. He sat up (or should I say stood up?) and walked towards the kitchen. Being Kirby, he needed a snack. He opened a jar of potato concentrate, and poured the contents into a glass of milk.
But there was no potato concentrate inside! Instead, out plopped Kirby's friend, a rather squished (and now, quite soggy) green waddle dee.
"George!!!" Kirby shouted, "What the hell do you think you're doing? I NEED my artificial potatoes!" Anime-style storm clouds gathered above Kirby's head. George crossed his stubs/arms.
"Kirby, there's no such thing as potato concentrate! Anyone knows that artificial potatoes are a myth! Besides, potatoes were banned from the kingdom several years ago by the King, Dede… Uh, De." George tapped his foot impatiently.
"Then why was there a jar of it on the counter?"
"Obviously, it was a distraction."
"Who would need a distraction?"
"Obviously, the guys who are tying a sack over your head."
Kirby would have responded with 'Who's tying a bag over my head!?', but all that came out was "Fhummp fyink fu baff offur muh heff!?" Something hit Kirby in the back of the head/body, and he felt himself losing consciousness.
The last thing that Kirby saw was George, smiling at him… EVILY!!!
Kirby woke up in a dark room. The room was very dark. Well, it was dark to the extent that Kirby could not see. Kirby didn't like the dark, so he opened his eyes.
The room (like magic!) became less dark, and Kirby could see. The wonders of modern science, Kirby thought to himself.
Kirby examined his surroundings. The room was quite big. Actually, it was only big because Kirby was small. It was completely bare, except the mat that Kirby lay on. Oh, and Kirby.
The room had one door, painted red, and made out of metal. It had one slot in it, through which Kirby could see the back of the waddle doo guarding the room. The waddle doo, after hearing Kirby awaken, turned to look at him. Kirby threw a potato at his eye.
"OW!!! Who throws a potato? And where did you even get that!?"
"Umm, my pockets?" Kirby said.
"LIAR! You don't have any pockets!"
"Yes I do, right here in my mouth! Care to take a look?"
"Why, Yes! Yes I do."
--- OBVIOUS SEQUENCE ---
Now that the guard was taken care of, and the door was left open, Kirby stepped outside of the room. He was in a hallway, which had two doors on the other side. One said "To the King" and the other said "To not the King". Kirby decided to see the king, and after pondering over which way to go, he took the door that said "To the King". He opened the door, and walked up several flights of stairs. He came to a large wooden door with the letters "Here be the king" inscribed upon it. He opened it.
He passed into a courtroom, filled with Waddle Dees, Bronto Burts, Scarfies, and little apples that danced when you shook them up and down and sang "Puff the magic dragon" while sitting on an acorn. Luckily, the apples mentioned above did not exist, and Kirby didn't feel like making non-existent apples start dancing.
On the throne was King Dedede. De. Dedade. Doo bop, ba dee da, do-dot, do-daaah! But I digress. Degress. Doogress… sorry.
King Doot-da-doot stared at Kirby unbelievingly. There was silence for several minutes, only being broken by the occasional not talking.
"Boy, whuddaHEEEEEEEeeeell yoo doin' here? Ya gots a lotta nerve, comin' back here again," The king shouted. Kirby stared at him in appuzzlementation. (yes, I said appulzzlementation. Live with it, grammar police.) Didn't he bring me here? Kirby thought in Italics.
"Didn't you bringme here?" Kirby repeated, sans italics.
"Wha?"
"Didn't you make George distract me, so that you could have your servants put a big baff- sorry, Bag over my head? Why else would I be here! I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!"
The king stared at Kirby. No, he had not sent for Kirby, and no, he had not ordered anyone to put a bag over Kirby's head. Who would dare to do such a thing without first obtaining the king's consent? Suddenly, without warning, and without a two-week resignation notice, it came to him, like something very sudden and unexpected comes suddenly and unexpectedly to someone who is not expecting anything to come. (whew! Take a breather, people. I hope you weren't reading that out loud!)
"Uhh… Kirby, I didn't send for you, but I think I know who did. Uh, I gotta… go… now… 'mmkay?" The king scooted out the door faster than you can say 'Hey, what do you think that you're doing?'
"Hey, what do you think that you're doing?" Kirby yelled, but the king had already scooted out the door. As previously inferred. All of the king's minions in the room stared at each other. It didn't take long for the fight to begin.
A scarfy flew at Kirby, knocking waddle dees out of the way. Kirby neatly sidestepped, and inhaled at the scarfy. The scarfy immediately grew long fangs, and made a beeline straight at Kirby, who ducked behind a panicking Bronto Burt. The Scarfy charged right through the Bronto Burt, who exploded in a little pfoof.
Kirby repeated this tactic over and over again, making a minion stand in the way of the charging scarfy, who time after time smashed into them in its blind hatred of Kirby. Soon, only the scarfy remained in the room with Kirby. Fortunately, by this time the Scarfy had calmed down, and floated peacefully a few feet from the ground.
Kirby looked around. The door behind him was locked, and he didn't see another door. He looked up at the wooden rafters, and saw a small glassless window… in which a dark figure stood!
The shadowy entity studied Kirby for a moment, then jumped away. Kirby gave chase, and headed for the window. He looked out of it, but could see no one. He was startled to see that it was night outside. How long was I unconscious? And more importantly, how did I get there? And why didn't the king know about my arrival? What was George thinking when he betrayed me? Is he behind this whole thing? Where did the King run off to? When will I stop asking pointless questions that won't be answered in this chapter? WHO WAS THAT SHADOWY FIGURE???
To Be Continued…
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Kirby is © Nintendo
Hope you guys like it. Don't worry, I know where I'm going with this. All will be revealed…