A/N: So...another response to a challenge at Fully Combustive Material for the Fanfic Author. Those are the only things that can keep me writing these days, it seems ^^`

Anyway, I tried to do another dialogue fic because those are awesomely fun. Every line break signals a new conversation, but every one is just between two people, and I hope I made it clear enough to tell who's saying what. So enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you really think I own FMA, you need help. Serious help. Because I do not, in any way, shape, or form, look like a cow. Unfortunately.

"No way, Colonel. I am not doing that. No way in hell."

"Oh, come on, Havoc. It's not that difficult."

"Yes it is. I'd even give up my cigarettes before doing that."

"That can easily be arranged."

"Hey! Give those back!"

"Not unless you do what I asked you to."

"Shit, Colonel, are you serious?"

"Quite."

"…Aw, forget it. Keep the cigarettes. I'll just go buy some more later."

"Or you could save your money and just—"

"No can do, Colonel. You see, it sounds to me like you're asking for a big favor, and I don't particularly feel like giving you one, since you haven't really done anything for me, yeah?"

"What? I've done plenty for you, Havoc. You're my subordinate, for crying out loud."

"Oh, you've done plenty, alright. Just not favor-wise."

"Name one."

"Hm, let me see. How about, oh, I don't know, stealing my girlfriends?"

"…You've got to be kidding me, Havoc. You know my dates are purely for information purposes."

"I find it hard to believe that every single girl I manage to pick up just happens to be one of your informants."

"Well, it's not my fault you seem to have the worst dating luck known to the history of mankind."

"Thanks, Colonel. That makes me feel so much better."

"Come on, Fullmetal. Are you saying you're afraid?"

"You bet your ass I am, Colonel Bastard! If Hawkeye caught me she would kill me. And then she'd murder me. And then she'd kill me again, just because."

"She'd only do that if you were caught. And you have a curious talent of disappearing at just the right times, Edward."

"Hmph. It's not that hard to hide from you. The Lieutenant, on the other hand…no. Just no. Find some other poor soul to do your evil bidding, Mustang—I'm out of here."

"Fullmetal, wait…! Damn. That's the second door this week."

"Hey Fuery, hide these for me, will you?"

"C-c-colonel! Are these—?"

"Yes. Quick, hide them before she comes back."

"B-b-but—!"

"Shh—put them in your desk drawer! Don't even twitch or else the lieutenant will notice."

"T-t-the—"

"Be quiet, Fuery, or Hawkeye's going to kill you for sure. Now remember, I was never here, got it?"

"N-n-never—?"

"Exactly. Shit, here she comes! Be a man, Fuery. Don't let her see you pissing your pants."

"T-that doesn't mean I-I'm not, s-sir."

"Colonel, what's the meaning of this?"

"Meaning of what?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about, sir."

"I think you're mistaken. Care to enlighten me, Lieutenant?"

"My guns, sir. Where did you hide them?"

"What? I did no such thing. Maybe you just misplaced them."

"This is your last chance, sir. Otherwise I'll just go ask Fuery, though he seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown. If you had anything to do with it…"

"Ah, he didn't say anything when you walked in? I'm so proud of him."

"Sir."

"Alright, alright. I hid your guns. Sorry about that."

"Where are they?"

"I'm going to hold onto that piece of information a little longer."

"…Colonel…"

"But I'll tell you why. Happy first anniversary, Riza!"

"…Anniversary of what?"

"Our first kiss, of course!"

"…"

"Aw, don't tell me you've forgotten. And I tried so hard to make it memorable, too."

"Oh, stop pouting, Roy. I remember. I just find it odd that you'd choose to celebrate by stealing my weapons."

"Oh, that wasn't your present. I just took them so you wouldn't shoot me when I did this…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Well?"

"Hm…"

"Seriously, Riza? That was your response? I thought it was even better than the first one."

"Then let me put it this way, Roy…I can't wait for our second anniversary."

A/N: Gasp! A kissing scene (even though it was implicit, it still counts)! You would not believe what a huge step that is for me, sadly xP

Well, what did you think? Review, please!