Author's Note: I posted this on fanfiction, but I'm posting again because I edited it a lot. I don't own The Suite Life or any of the characters except for Michael. I don't own the song Wounded by Good Charlotte. I hope you like, read and review please. Cody's the stronger twin for once.
…
The eighteen-year-old boy sighed, looking out the plane
window as the plane rolled to a stop, flicking back a strand of
blonde hair. A flight attendant looked worriedly at his pale
and slightly sad face, but he gave her a reassuring smile, and she
turned to leave. When she was gone, the teen turned back again
to the hazy window of the plane, looking at how similar Boston
seemed, even though he'd been gone for three years. Three
years, God, and things were still pretty much the same.He
wished things were different, so it wouldn't be so hard to face the
past—so the memories wouldn't fight their way back again.
He was still thinking this as he pulled his tattered, gray backpack
from under the chair in front of him, and walked slowly off the
plane, stopping only to nod good-bye to the plane's staff. He
didn't want to think of how nothing had changed, how life had gone
on. Feeling slightly disappointed, he wondered why he felt this
way. Stop being so stupid, Zack. You left them, you
shouldn't complain.Lost and
broken
Hopeless and lonely
Smiling on the outside
Hurt
beneath my skin
He walked outside after getting his suitcase from the conveyor belt, pulling the heavy bag behind him. He flagged down a taxi, loading his belongings into the trunk and then reaching into his jacket and pulling out a frayed envelope. The writing had faded a little at the address in the corner, but it was still legible. He handed it numbly to the taxi driver, who merely nodded and told him how much it would cost.The teen, Zack, just nodded and didn't say anything else. He climbed into the car, fastened his seatbelt, and stared out the window, still motionless and lost in his reverie. The cab driver attempted to start a conversation, but stopped when he found that the boy wasn't interested, from his quiet grunts of answers to the questions. He decided instead, to focus on the road ahead of him, his eyes darting over to the teen every once in awhile.He didn't say anything; the boy didn't say anything.They reached the destination, and the teen forked over a twenty dollar bill, only stopping to say, "Keep the change."The cab driver nodded, and the teen grabbed his stuff from the trunk, pulling it out as the taxi drove off, leaving the smell of exhaust behind.
My eyes are fading
My soul is bleeding
I'll
try to make it seem okay
But my faith is wearing thinThe
boy looked at the place where he'd ended. A small white
house, its shingled roof bending invitingly, as if beckoning him
forward. He sighed and stepped up on the sidewalk towards the
house, pulling his suitcase along behind him, and pulling the
backpack straps over his shoulder. He held the straps nervously
in his hands, noticing that suddenly that his palms were sweating.
Come on Zack, pull yourself together.How
could he though? Three years lost couldn't fix themselves so
easily. The memories that still screamed, trapped inside of
him, and he couldn't open up and let them out. After all, he
was the one that'd left. He was the one who'd kept walking
and hadn't turned to stop and remember. He'd walked,
selfishly, oblivious to all of those who had needed him, who had
asked him to stop and come back. He'd laughed and pushed them
away, and now, three years later, when he was finally tired and
needed help—that was when he went to fall back on those tainted
promises, those lost words. If only those words were ready to
take him back in.
So help me heal these wounds
They've
been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though
this is not your faultHe walked up to
the door, noticing that his hand was now trembling. He paused,
his fingers brushing against the doorbell. Stop being such a
coward. You've come all the way here; you might as well
finish the job. Then, it was too late to take anything
back, as his index finger pressed hard against the bell and it
sounded. Regrets began to rush back. You walked out on
them, how do you expect them to take you back in now? You hurt
them, you broke their hearts, why do you come back only when your fun
is over? Are you really that selfish? Why do you have to
make everything harder for them?There
was a call from inside the house. "I'm coming!"The
teen flinched. That voice—it was lower and deeper now, but it
hadn't changed at all. It was still the small voice, a voice
he'd never forget. The voice of his little brother—his
twin.The doorknob turned, and the teen
considered running away—disappearing. He turned to leave, but
he didn't get out in time. The door opened and another teen
was standing there, filling up the entirety of the doorway.
But
I'm open
And I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And
I need someone to help me sew them upThe
boy gasped in recognition—at the newcomer who stood in the
doorway. He'd grown up, his body now lanky and tall, his
natural, dirty blonde hair plated over his forehead, his brown eyes
still alive. The eyes were still the same. The eyes were
still the same as those ones that Zack had known so long ago.
Those eyes were still Cody's. Those brown eyes stared hard at
him now, glancing over him, as if afraid to believe. Afraid to
believe that Zack had come back.There was a
silence as Zack devoured the sight of his brother, and Cody probably
doing the same thing. Then, Zack, realizing the awkwardness of
the situation, broke the silence which had settled over them.
"Hey Cody."
I only wanted a magazine
I only wanted a
movie screen
I only wanted the life I'd read about and
dreamedThe words came out, rusty and
unused in his mouth. So long he had wanted to say those words,
to come back. And so many times he had run and hid.He'd
been caught up in the moment, at the time of his life. That
kid—Zack had forgotten what his name was now… Michael or
something, had offered him a new life to escape to. At first it
had only been a gang meeting. The next time he brought out
drugs. And then Zack had been pulled into a vicious circle,
being too afraid to deny it, being too afraid to turn his back on
what they thought of him—instead turning his back on himself.
He'd fled from his beliefs, from what he knew was right while Cody
had been strong and refused. Now Zack wished he'd followed
his brother and been more firm in what he believed in.Ashamed,
Zack had fled to California with Michael, and ended up joining a
gang. Michael had been killed. Zack had written back
once, just once to his brother and his mother, who he'd left behind
and buried in his past. They'd written back frantically,
saying that they'd come and find him immediately and bring him back
to Boston.That was when Zack did the worst
thing he could do. He disappeared.
And now my mind is
an open book
And now my heart is an open wound
And now my life
is an open soul for all to seeHe was
ashamed, afraid even, to face his family after what he'd
done to all of them. He cursed himself for it—hated himself,
but he was embarrassed. Cody had always been the better twin,
and now he still was.So he'd stumbled
around, lost for three years, until he couldn't face it anymore.
He couldn't face his life, so he'd gotten a job and saved money
to buy a plane ticket back to Boston. To dump all his problems
back on his family.He hated himself for it,
but Zack had always been the weaker twin, the more influenced one,
and he needed somebody to save him. It all came down to this
one moment.Would Cody help him?
But
help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too
long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your
faultHis twin was staring hard at him,
and Zack could feel the wave of emotions over coming him. Then
Cody answered. "Zack. It's you, isn't it?
It's really you."Zack nodded, glancing
down at his feet. "It's me."Experiences
had eaten away at him, broken the fragile soul that lay inside.
He trembled, waiting for the next thing his brother would
say."You've been gone for a long
time." Cody stood at the door, his hand pressed firmly at the
side of the wooden paneling with its paint flakes peeling off.
He didn't offer to let Zack inside; he just stood there,
waiting.And left Zack waiting too.
That
I'm open and I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I
need someone to help meZack stood
there, risking a timid glance at his twin. Cody now had pressed
his hand against his forehead, and brought it down, staring back at
his brother, as if amazed he hadn't vanished. Tears glinted
in his eyes, and Zack felt himself twist hard inside. He'd
hurt his brother, but if only Cody knew what he was feeling inside
right now."I know," he answered,
waiting for his brother again. "Is it bad that I came
back?""God, Zack. I don't
know," Cody said, still standing there, now with his arms
wrapped protectively around his chest. As if he was afraid Zack
was going to hurt him, push him away again. "I don't know
what to think Zack. You've been gone for so long…" So
you come along
I push you away
Then kick and scream for you to
stay
"I'm sorry." The helpless words slipped
past Zack's mouth, and now he felt pathetic standing there.
Pathetic standing there in front of his
looked hard at Zack, and his eyes were glinting harder with tears
now. That doesn't cover it was the message.I
know, Zack replied, silently in his head. I know… I do
know."Please Cody," Zack said,
feeling his voice break in pain. "Please. I've missed
you so much, and I pushed you away when you tried to help. I
broke you Cody, I broke you. And I know it. I know
it…"He stopped. Cody was
standing, his hands pressed against the door, now sobbing openly.
Long, sad, broken sobs.Cause I need
someone to help me
Oh I need someone to help me
To help me heal
these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill
this soul
Even though this is not your fault
Zack felt tears come into his own eyes, and pretty soon hot tears were trickling down his own face. He felt like running away, hiding again, escaping and end all the pain he was causing his brother. End all the agony that he was feeling, twisted inside. Denying all those perfect times they'd had together, in their seemingly unblemished lives, their biggest conflict being their father walking out on them. At least then they'd had each other to hold on to, to hug, a shoulder to sob on, somebody to lean on. They had had each other, clinging on to those broken lies that had been echoed, It's ok, when the whole time they knew it wasn't. At least then they'd been there for each other, but now they didn't even have that.It was Zack's fault. He knew it, and he realized that he'd done enough running for now. It was time to face his past mistakes, fix the relationships he'd once had. "I need your help now, Cody. I need your help. Can you… do you think you can help me again? Please? I'm hurting so bad inside, I'm so lost and so confused, Cody, and I need your help… please."
That
I'm open
And I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And
I need someone to help me sew them
I need someone to help me fill
themHe looked down at the ground.
He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be asking for help, he
shouldn't be begging. He knew it. He knew it, but he
couldn't help it. He was so lost and pathetic, wallowing in
those bittersweet moments of years past. He hadn't allowed
himself to move on.There was a touch
against his shoulder, and Zack looked up. Cody had placed his
fingers cautiously on Zack's shoulder, and now stared at him
straight in the eyes, his blonde hair draping across the innocent
orbs. Zack stared back, knowing that Cody was analyzing him,
reading what was behind those eyes so stolen of their light—the
light that had once belonged to both of them in their mindless
deception of kept his gaze on his
brother, his fingers drifting vaguely across Zack's tattered shirt,
and seemed to realize that Zack wasn't disappearing this time—he
wasn't leaving again. Cautiously, he pulled his older
twin into an embrace, the touch rough and unused, and Zack knew how
badly his twin had wanted to do this all along—all those times he'd
cried for his brother to come back and protect him from those
emotions he could not understand. So Zack let Cody hug him.
He let himself open up, and sob into Cody's shoulder, release all
the memories—the memories that would always be there, but that
could fade a little… one at a time.
I need someone to help me close them upAnd until then, Zack knew he was home.
The End
