Solace
It was day. Probably.
Time had a habit of blurring together when one was on a starship. Especially a battleship, and especially a battleship in the middle of a war zone. Shifts didn't follow strict protocols anymore, you simply worked until someone came to relieve you, or you were sent off for injury or exhaustion.
He'd been on shift for a while. At least the full 8 hours, but they were understaffed, so he'd probably be here another couple hours at least. Looking up from his station, he saw her standing there at the conn, looking more like a piece of the ship than a person. The Jedi in command of this section of the fleet. One of Revan's closest supporters.
She must have been standing there for the last two rotations, looking down at the barren world they were orbiting, seeing even from this height the occasional dim flash of some hugely powerful weapon down on the surface.
Thinking.
She was always thinking. He didn't know for sure about what, but he had a feeling it was much the same things that occupied his mind. The strange, gut-twisting mix of satisfaction and guilt, seeing the Mandalorians fall before their tactics. Worry that it wasn't enough. All that the battered Republic fleet had going for it was Revan, the charismatic, powerful Jedi Knight and his brilliant tactics. The Mandalorians were battle-hardened, experienced, ruthless, and had a lot more warriors on their side.
They were losing. As brilliant as Revan was, even he could only do so much. The Mandalorian power and experience was starting to show, against volunteer Republic troops, nearly obsolete fleet ships, and Jedi mostly too young to be out on their own, holding the kind of responsibility they did.
So Revan had decided to break the rules. He'd asked Bao-Dur's General (he somehow couldn't break the habit of thinking of her as his, even though he knew he could hold no claim to her.) for a private discussion. The General had come out of it looking pale and horrified, he remembered locking her door and disabling the comm system in her room so she wouldn't wake up until she was ready. And when she did, she called him into her room.
"Bao-Dur… I need to you help me," she had said softly, looking at him with those eyes that were usually so clear and calm. Then, they'd looked hollow, dark. Like she was empty inside.
He'd wanted to do anything to bring her back to life. "Anything you need, General."
"I need you to help me kill a planet."
He sighed. He couldn't even tell how long ago that had been. Probably not long. He certainly didn't remember sleeping more than once since then. Of course, that could be anywhere from half a day to half a week. But he'd done it. He'd taken every bit of technological knowledge he had, funneling it towards a way to destroy a planet.
It was actually surprisingly simple, now that the plan was in place. The Malachor system was so strange already, unstable, full of gravity wells that kept popping up and causing havoc among the ships on both sides. Originally, the Mandalorians had been reluctant to come here, to fight, but apparently the Mandalore had overridden the cultural taboos, knowing that superstitions would lose them the war by giving the Republic a safe haven from Mandalorian attack.
And so here they were. Almost the entire Mandalorian fleet. A large portion of Republic ships, troops covering the surface, led by Jedi. All clustered around Malachor V, the most unstable planet he'd ever seen. The Mass Shadow Generator was elegantly simple. All he had to do was tap into the proper frequency, and the freak gravity wells would be random no more. They were set to all open all simultaneously around the Generator, active points spaced at critical positions over the planet's surface.
It would destroy everything on the planet. He had no doubt of that. The gravity would increase by 50 times at least over the entire planet, fluctuating higher in places. It would wrench ships out of low orbits. It would destroy the balance of natural satellites. It would twist the ships in high orbit to nothing more than a ring of scrap metal filled with space-frozen corpses.
And he'd created it. Created this monstrosity, this horrible, awful, perfect tool with the capability of destruction on a scale unthought of until now. "It's ready, General," was all he'd been able to say.
"Good," had been her response. He knew that the Generator was ripping her apart inside as much as it was him, like it would do to the planet when activated.
It raised questions. Questions that hurt to ponder, but that he couldn't help thinking of, over and over and over as he worked to keep the battered fleet's computer systems intact. Most prominent in his mind was, What kind of monster could create a machine that destructive?
He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. It was hard to do, when he was alone, had little to do. He liked being busy better, the stimulation kept his mind off of painful thoughts. Trying to wake himself up, he rubbed at his face, his fingers naturally avoiding the small, sharp horns on his forehead.
When his horns had first started to show through his skin, his parents had been thrilled. They'd been so sure their son was destined for something wonderful as he came of age. And then the Mandalorians had attacked his planet, leaving nothing but corpses behind in every large settlement. Bao-Dur had been out in a small farming community, making repairs to an Agri-droid when the planet had been attacked. His parents had been at home, in Iridonia's capital city.
He tried to use that to justify building the Generator. Sometimes, he almost believed himself. "…Bao? Bao-Dur, you need to get some rest." He realized someone had been saying his name for a while now, while he was lost in thought. The General was looking at him, her eyes still showing that hollowness he hated seeing there.
"Sorry, General," he said sheepishly. "I guess you're probably right, since I didn't even notice you talking to me…"
She smiled slightly, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Don't worry about it. Just take a break, get some sleep."
"With all due respect, General… you've been standing there longer than I have. Why don't you come with me, we'll get something to eat, and both of us will be ready for whatever the morning brings. Or night. Or whatever it'll be." Bao-Dur shrugged, knowing he was babbling, tiredness affected his speech before anything else.
She looked longingly at him, back at the conn station, then shook herself. "Alright, I'll take you up on that." She gestured to someone at a less-important station, and he scurried forward to take over command temporarily. "Let's go."
Bao-Dur willingly took her arm and led her out, partially from some half-dead sense of gallantry, partially because she looked like she wasn't sure where she was going anymore. Both of them perked up after being able to sit down at eat, even if it was only basic rations.
Even though she wasn't looking nearly so lost after a filling, if bland meal, Bao-Dur still walked her back to her quarters. Being the General, she was the only one on the ship with her own quarters, even though they were smaller than the ones shared by four people. "Well, General, this is your stop…" Bao-Dur said, managing to sound somewhat cheerful as they stopped in front of her door.
She pressed her palm to the door plate, and it slid back. She didn't enter, though, just stood, looking into the dark room. After giving her long enough to start moving on her own, Bao-Dur lightly touched her shoulder. "General. C'mon, you can sleep in bed. Into your quarters you go."
He was surprised to feel her fingers lightly coming to rest on top of his. "Bao…. I can't be alone. I'll go mad… stay here? Just for the night?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but the pleading tone was apparent anyway.
"I… General, I can't do that. It's against regs." Bao-Dur said, managing not to stutter too much in his shock.
"Bao-Dur, since I'm not part of the Republic Fleet, I am not bound by the same rules as Fleet commissioned Officers," she said, her voice cool.
"But you're a Jedi! What about your own Code?"'
She turned to look at him, her face an odd mix of amused and sad. "Coming to war broke the Code. I might as well get some enjoyment out of my betrayal. Please… I just… can't be alone. Not now."
Her words went straight inside him, echoing off of the same sentiment deep in his mind. "Then we'll chase away each other's demons," he said softly, touching her cheek with the back of his hand, then setting his hands on both her shoulders, pushing her gently back into her room.
The door closed automatically behind them, and he knew nobody would disturb the General if they thought she was finally getting some rest. Of course, it was starting to look like they wouldn't be resting much at all, his arms automatically curving around her body as she pressed into him, seeking support and warmth.
The quarters were dimly lit from the standard-issue glowpanel that stayed on during sleep cycles. It could be brightened, if necessary, but for now, this soft, bluish light was much better. Bao-Dur felt her arms tighten around him, even through the light armor everyone, even the Jedi wore. He dropped his head down, his lips brushing her hair, glossy black even in bright light, looking like a soft dark mass of nothingness in the dimness of her quarters.
She let out a soft sigh, and reluctantly pulled away from him, her fingers working to undo her armor, her eyes looking dark and deep as she watched him. Bao-Dur was barely aware of slipping off his own armor, setting it by the wall with a dull thunk, and then she was pressing up against him again, her arms wrapping more smoothly around him this time, the simple, gentle contact feeling so, so good.
He let his hands start to work their way over her back, feeling her powerful, yet so tiny body through the standard issue clothing and shipsuit. Her muscles were hard, some of it from training, much of it from nerves, too much time awake and tense, not enough time resting. Zabrak and Humans weren't much different, physically speaking, but the General was small, even for a female human. Still, her modest curves fit perfectly against him, starting to warm his body, defrosting the barrier he'd raised around his emotions.
Bao-Dur bent his head down, lips caressing her cheek, her neck, her skin deliciously warm. He untucked her shirt, tugging it up slowly, letting his fingers trail up along her bare stomach. She shivered, lifting her arms up so he could pull it off, then dropping them back down around his neck, pulling his head down for a tentative kiss.
Her lips were sweet and soft, and Bao-Dur's arms wrapped tighter around her waist by reflex. He felt her hands slowly slip up under his shirt, and he shivered, her touch felt so good on skin that had been too long cooped up in armor, deprived of any sort of sensation.
Slowly, gently, he dropped one hand down between them, his fingers deftly flicking open the catch on her pants, letting them slide off of her slender hips. She stiffened slightly, pressing against him, and a sudden thought occurred to him. "General… have you ever done this before? I can't imagine it's a topic covered in the Jedi curriculum."
She flinched slightly against him. "Well… no, not exactly… but please don't turn me away now, Bao… I like the way it feels when you touch me… I need you to stay with me…"
"I won't go anywhere," he said soothingly. "I just wanted to know how to proceed." Slowly would be the key here. But that was all the better for him. He was enjoying this, the slowly intensifying caresses, the delightful buildup. "Just lay down, I'll do the rest."
He could make out the outline of her body, the curves highlighted in the soft blue light as she sat down on the bed. Lightly, he put a hand on her chest, pushing backward.
She moved back easily, and he smoothly crawled over top of her, leaning down to kiss her again, more firmly this time. She was willing under his mouth, a little less than adept, but so honest and wanting him that it was somehow better than the most skillful kiss he'd ever received. His hands slid down to cup her breasts, caressing her softly.
A light moan escaped her, sending a shiver of arousal through his body. Bao-Dur smiled, keeping up the gentle rub, then slid his fingers smoothly up under the tough fabric, making her gasp as his careful fingers slid directly on her sensitive skin. He pulled it off over her head, giving her another kiss before dropping down, lightly licking one small breast.
Bao-Dur grinned as she squirmed slightly, moaning happily. He was feeling warm for the first time in days, too warm, actually. He left off teasing her long enough to pull off his shirt, dropping it somewhere beside the bed. She reached up for him, pulling him back down impatiently, making him laugh softly. "Eager, aren't you, General?"
"Yeeeees…" she moaned. "It feels so good…"
She was right, he realized. It wasn't just that she was inexperienced, or that he was very good, it felt so satisfying to be so close, their bodies warm and real, such a contrast from the delirious, never ending shifts on the bridge. "Good," he said. "It's supposed to."
He kept working on her breasts, amused by her honest, enthusiastic reactions. She squirmed deliciously when he licked and sucked on them, and made the most delightful sounds when he used his fingers, rubbing the soft, sensitive skin, lightly pinching to make her squeak. He could smell her pheromone levels rising, the scent slightly sweeter than a Zabrak's, but definitely close enough for him.
Slowly he reached down to her pants, his tongue teasing one of her nipples, liking the soft mewing sound she made when he did that. By the time she noticed his hands had moved, he had already started to pull her pants off, and she shivered and went stiff, slightly nervous now.
Picking up on that, Bao-Dur stopped removing her clothing and moved back up, not quite laying on top of her, looking down into her dark eyes. "You can trust me, General. You know that, right?"
She smiled slightly, her teeth white even in the dim light. "Yeah, I know… it's just strange…"
He smiled back, and lowered his head, kissing her more deeply this time than before, letting his tongue slip forward into her mouth, making her whimper slightly, her lips opening welcomingly for him. In fact, he almost forgot what he was doing, savoring the sweet warmth of her mouth, then he slowly slid her pants the rest of the way off.
She gasped, breaking the kiss, but didn't freeze up again. Bao-Dur smiled, using his fingers, then his tongue to work her up , wanting to move slowly. Now that he had his General where he'd always wanted her, he wasn't going to rush the opportunity.
Her head dropped limply down to the pillow, her legs trembling slightly. This was the first time she'd ever felt anything like this, and her mind seemed to be almost in danger of exploding. If this was what the Dark side passions promised, she was starting to wonder if the Jedi Code was entirely accurate…
Bao-Dur could tell that she was relaxed now, giving into him. He shifted onto his hands and knees, crawling forward and dropping down to kiss her neck and ear. "I'm going to go inside you now…" he whispered. "It'll probably hurt at first."
She nodded, actually chuckling a bit. "I'm a Jedi, I can deal with pain. And if it feels anything like what you have already been doing, I think I'll manage to enjoy it…"
He grinned. "Good. I'll go as slow as I can…" Gently, he grabbed her legs, pushing them up and apart, resting her ankles on his shoulders and kneeling right in front of her. He did go slow, as careful as possible, not wanting to hurt her any more than was unavoidable.
It was fascinating, watching the changing expressions on her face. She was at first almost hungry, pleading, liking the feeling of him pressing against her. As he slid into her, his vision blurred a bit from the stimulation… she was so tight on him it was making him feel slightly delirious. He forced his eyes to focus again, seeing the expression of surprised pain flicker across her face as he buried himself in her.
He held still for a few moments, letting his head stop spinning from delight, and letting her get used to the feeling of him inside her, something he knew beyond a doubt that she'd never had before. Sooner than he'd have expected, he felt the gentle pressure of her arms on his and looked down to see her face calm again, having overcome the pain.
"That Jedi training is coming in handy, I see," he chuckled softly, leaning carefully down to kiss her briefly. Then he slowly started to move, a soft moan escaping him as he slid inside her. It had been far, far too long since the last time he'd done this.
She shivered, the sound of his voice when he moaned like that was unlike anything she'd heard before, sending a wave of delight through her, ending up right at her core, making her relax just enough that he could slide more easily, and the pain she'd been ignoring lessened.
Bao-Dur started to build up a slow, gentle rhythm, not feeling the least bit tired anymore. His General squirmed slightly underneath him as her body got used to the feeling, deciding after a while that she enjoyed it. Once he was certain she wasn't being pained by his every move, he sped up a little, his thrusts moving a bit deeper.
Her fingers tightened slightly on his arms, her hips moving slightly, instinctually, trying different angles. She gasped as a particularly deep thrust pressed against something inside her that almost hurt, the sensation was so intense. "Oh, do that again…" she moaned, not at all sorry for breaking the Jedi Code anymore.
"Anything you want, General," Bao-Dur replied, pressing himself into her again, his cock nudging deeper into her, making her moan. Now that he had that particular spot fixed in his mind, he aimed himself at it without fail, and soon she was moaning and whimpering under him, her fingers flexing spastically on his arms, his shoulders, whatever she could reach.
It didn't take long before she cried out, her fingernails digging into his shoulders, just as Bao-Dur hit his limit as well, his mind going blissfully blank, totally enraptured in her. A few moments later, he opened his eyes, blinking them to clear the spots from his vision. He couldn't remember ever coming that hard before, he wasn't sure if he had even managed to stay conscious through the whole thing. Looking down, he smiled to see that his General certainly hadn't, she was lying limply on the bed, breathing hard, either fully out cold or not far from it.
Gently, he lowered her legs, laying down beside her, and smiled as she immediately snuggled up against him. A wave of exhaustion swept over him again, and he sleepily pulled the blanket up over the two of them. A ship's bunk was small, but he didn't mind having her tucked up against him, sharing the blanket and each other's warmth. And now, she really was his. His General, just as he'd always known she was.
-
The next day, sometime in the afternoon, maybe, he was at his post on the bridge, and she turned to him. Her eyes were for one brief moment full of the same passion and delight he'd seen last night, then went dead again, and she nodded once, slowly, deliberately. He pressed a button, and the planet died.