Prologue
09:35 Dragon Age (Kirkwall)
Marian Hawke clenched her teeth as she struggled through the labor. Beside her was Aveline, letting her squeeze the warrior's hand in a vice-like grip without a single complaint. Between her legs and coaching her through the labor was Orana, who was not only a good cook but proved to be a knowledgeable midwife. They were inside the Hawke Estate, inside the master bedroom. All of Hightown were asleep in the middle of the night, unaware of their mage resident struggling to give life.
Marian pushed again, harder this time as she felt her magic charging up the air, heating up the room as she willed everything she had into that last push. Then she fell back against the pillows of her bed, panting heavily right as the room filled with the sound of a baby crying.
"Oh! It's a girl! Congratulations, Mistriss!" Orana announced. Marian could barely keep her eyes open after that ordeal but the moment Orana carried her baby into view, wrapped up in a towel, she was filled with strength again. Feeling her second wind and filling up with renewed strength Marian sat up and scooted back against the headboard of her bed. Aveline helped her sit up, stacking the pillows against her back before Orana handed the baby over gently.
"She's beautiful, Hawke."Aveline said, watching with fondness as Marian cradled her baby in her arms. Aveline was the first person in their circle of odd friends that had known she was pregnant, and as happy as she had been for her mage friend, she was also fearful of what the future would bring for the new mother and her baby; especially knowing who the father is. Aveline knew that it was going to be a challenge to keep such a big secret, especially when the child gets bigger. But for now, the Guard-Captain will be happy for her friend and promises to take this secret to her grave so long as mages were in danger inside Kirkwall.
Looking down at the pink face, Marian felt her heart melt, unable to stop the feeling of love flood through her and spill out from her eyes as tears of joy ran down her flushed cheeks. The new mother admired her baby, drinking every detail with her eyes. From the wisp of fine black hair on her head to the perfect pink toes on both feet. She was perfect. Down to the hawk-shaped birthmark on her inner right arm above the elbow.
A knock came at the door, stealing the attention of both women. Aveline stood at the ready, moving to stand at the foot of the bed in case they were to be ambushed.
"Messere, I've brought him for you." came Bodahn's voice from the other side. Marian and Aveline both physically relaxed.
"Yes, let him in." Marian said. The door slowly opened and with some hesitation, Cullen entered the room. He was out of his Templar armor and wearing a plain leather jerkin and pants. The nervous look on his face melted immediately when his amber eyes landed on Marian and the bundle in her arms. Aveline stepped aside to allow Cullen to enter the room where he immediately placed himself at Marian's side, sitting beside her with an arm going around her shoulders.
Aveline and Orana both smiled at each other before taking their leave, letting the new parents get acquainted with their daughter. With the door closed, the new parents basked in the glow of happiness.
Cullen looked down at the baby's face, his eyes softening with love as he gently touched her head, his callused fingers stroking the silky soft black hairs. He watched with adoration as his daughter's arms squirmed around over her face and he caught sight of a dusky pink mark on the inside of her right arm. He gently reached down for her arm to have a better look at the mark and sure enough there was a birthmark in the shape of a hawk taking flight. Just like her mother.
The tiny hand found a callused finger and wrapped it in a tight grip, making Cullen's heart flutter.
Cullen kissed Marian's temple and whispered in her ear how much he loved her. He would be lying if he said that he didn't feel fear strike him in the heart when Marian had told him that she was pregnant with his child. Their relationship was a dangerous enough secret on its own, and it had been riddled with challenges. Yet, despite the danger of discovery it only strengthened their resolve to be together. Despite what the Chantry preached and what Meredeth decreed and what evils he harrowed through inside Kinloch; nothing in this world will ever convince Cullen that magic was completely evil. Not when he had proof right in front of him.
"She's perfect." Cullen whispered, "And she'll grow up to be beautiful just like her mother. Maker, I should write to my sister. She'll be furious to hear that I have a child before her. What should we name her?"
"I want to name her Kailah." Marian said, her voice tired and her eyelids growing heavy again.
Cullen smiled, "Kailah…it's pretty." Marian let out a yawn and Cullen took that as his cue to take Kailah into his arms. "Rest, love. I'll take over and watch over you both."
Cullen held his daughter in his arms, her tiny little body wrapped snuggly in a knitted blanket made of soft lambs wool. He carried her over to the bedroom window, carefully looking out through the parted space of the curtains at the small garden behind the estate. The first snowfall of winter was making its gentle descent from the heavens, quietly covering Kirkwall in white. It felt like the perfect setting, the perfect season, the perfect night for his daughter to be born. The outside world and all its troubles had no place here tonight as he greeted the New Year with a new chapter in his life.
He looked back to the bed where the love of his life laid against a stack of pillows, watching him with tired eyes while a gentle smile was on her lips. Her fair complexion still blemished pink from the labor of bringing life into the world, her stomach still swollen and round under the covers. She had never been more beautiful to him until that moment. The Knight-Captain smiled back at her, his amber eyes alight with love and joy as he returned to her side with their daughter. He sat down on the bed beside her as Marian gingerly slid herself higher up on the bed to sit up a bit more.
"Don't strain yourself too much, love." he said.
Marian Hawke let out a soft chuckle. "I'm not made of glass, Cullen."
"I know, I just…well, you just gave birth. Your body must be tired."
Marian placed a hand on his arm. "I'm fine, Cullen." she said gently, looking at him with a reassuring smile that visibly melted away some of Cullen's worries on his face. She moved her eyes down to her daughter in his arms and rested her cheek on his shoulder. "She's perfect."
"She truly is." Cullen agreed, staring down at the sleeping infant. Just barely a few hours old and already Cullen felt so much love for her he didn't know what to do about it. His eyes wandered over every detail, taking in the roundness of her pink cheeks, the wisps of black hair on her head, and the tiny fingers she absently sucked on in her sleep. The color of her eyes was still a mystery, since she barely opened her eyes enough to let him get a glimpse, but that could wait. He will have all the time in the world to learn all about his beautiful little girl.
xxxxx
By dawn Cullen found it incredibly difficult to leave, wishing he could take some time off from his Templar duties to be with his new family, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't risk his family's safety; he couldn't risk Meredith turning her suspicious eyes onto him and Marian. He had to continue keeping their relationship a secret. He had to keep Kailah a secret (as much as it pained him). He had to keep up the appearance of a dutiful Knight-Captain while he thought of a way to get his family out of Kirkwall safely now that the Knight-Commander assumed command in the absence of Viscount Dumar.
"Cullen, you worry too much." Marian said, sitting up in bed while breastfeeding their daughter. "Aveline will be stopping by to check on me today and I have Orana and Bodahn who can help me around the estate. Not to mention Varric has been making sure that he hasn't heard any rumors about us."
Ah, yes. The dwarf who had a talent for spinning tales. Of course he would spin more to divert suspicion.
"I know I'm being paranoid but can you blame me?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck. "I mean, it was one thing keeping us a secret, now with the baby and Meredith…things are going to get a lot harder."
"I know, which is all the more reason for us to keep up the act."
Cullen went to Marian's bedside and kissed her on the lips and then kissed the top of Kailah's soft head. Standing up straight he smiled down at them. "I'll be back tonight, love."
"We'll be here." Marian replied, smiling back at him as she watched him leave. A few hours after sunrise Aveline stopped by, as promised, bringing a basket of gifts for the new baby. "Thanks again for stopping by, Aveline."
"Of course, I had to make sure the new mother and her baby are faring well." the Guard-Captain said, setting the basket down on the floor before sitting down on the edge of the bed. She smiled at the baby in Marian's arms. "Have you named her yet?"
"I named her Kailah." Marian said.
"A good name. Strong but gentle. I'm guessing the father approves as well?" Aveline asked.
"Yes."
They sat in silence for a minute before Aveline spoke. "Listen, Hawke…you will have to make an appearance soon so that people don't become suspicious. It's hard enough to keep people from noticing their Champion's absence in the past six weeks."
"I know," Marian sighed, "Those mage robes can only hide so much before people take notice. I just need a little more time now that I've had the baby. You and Varric have done a lot for us; even Orana and Bodahn have done so much without me having to ask."
"You have to know that Kirkwall is becoming too dangerous for mages. If someone were to find out about the baby then questions will turn to who the father is. That will put both you and Cullen in a lot of danger. Then there are our other friends who still don't know."
"I know that." Marian said softly, looking down at her daughter.
"Have you at least spoken to any of them?"
"No, and Varric has reassured me that none of them know."
"Fenris has been continuing to lay low in that abandoned manor, and Anders is quiet for now but we both know with Meredith assuming charge of Kirkwall that won't last for long. And there's still no sign of Isabela."
"Thanks, Aveline."
"I'll do what I can, Hawke."
xxxxx
When Varric showed up at the Hawke Estate, it was right at sunset. Like Aveline, he also brought a gift for the baby, a purple dragon made of yarn.
"So this is the little princess?" Varric said, peering at the baby who was resting in her cradle. He set the dragon doll down by her head before walking over to the bed to sit beside Marian. "She's gonna break quite a few hearts in her lifetime, your Knight-Captain's gonna need to invest some serious coin in a chastity belt or an isolated tower guarded by a dragon."
Marian laughed lightly at the joke. "Not to mention a whetstone to keep his sword sharp."
"All joking aside, Hawke, what are your plans?"
"Ever since I told him I was pregnant, Cullen has done nothing but talk about getting us out of Kirkwall."
"It's a good idea, but it'll be harder now that you have the baby." Varric said, "Especially with tensions growing with the mages. Blondie has been talking a lot about how drastic plans need to be taken to start a change."
"I should feel torn about leaving but seeing her here, it makes the idea of leaving Kirkwall so much easier. More desirable."
"If you're gonna leave, Hawke, leave soon. I'll do all I can to help you and your family. As entertaining as the idea of you fighting bad guys with a baby strapped to your back, I for one can't encourage endangering innocent babies."
"For now, Varric, it's enough that you're looking out for us."
Varric patted his friend's knee before standing up and going over to the cradle to look down at the baby again. The dwarf found his breath catching in his throat when he saw a pair of striking blue eyes staring up at him. A gentle smile curved his lips as he reached into the cradle and allowed the infant to latch onto a gloved finger with her tiny hand.
"You're gonna be a lot of trouble for your parents, kiddo." Varric said before gently prying his finger away. "I'm gonna check on Blondie and the others; make sure they haven't heard anything about this little princess or your Templar."
"Will you be her godfather, Varric?"
Varric paused a moment before turning fully to look back at Marian. A wide grin on his face before he gave the mage a dramatic bow. "It would be my honor, Serah."
xxxxx
Marian smiled at Kailah, unable to get enough of her daughter as she cooed and fawned over her newborn. Kissing her round cheeks until they were rosy red, breathing in the addicting smell of her baby. Stroking the soft skin of her tiny hands and playfully nibbling on her tiny toes.
"I wonder if you'll show magical talents when you're older." Marian mused as she finished changing Kailah's diaper. "It won't matter, magic or no, you will live a free life, never wanting for anything."
A knock came at her bedroom door before it opened ajar and Carver poked his head inside. Her little brother, now part of the Grey Warden Order, had returned to Kirkwall when he received Marian's letter that she was pregnant and due in the winter. Carver's timing had been surprisingly spot on and the joy that shown on his face when he saw his niece made their family reunion all the more special.
"Are you done? I would like to spend a little more time with my niece before I have to leave." Carver said as he walked over to the side of the bed where Marian had changed Kailah's diaper.
"Of course. She's all yours." Marian said, taking the dirty linen and dropping it into the hamper for Orana to take.
Carver happily picked up Kailah, cradling her carefully in his arms. "Now who's all clean and ready for Uncle Carver?" he asked, using a voice that Marian had never heard her brother use. She let it slide, however, knowing that it will be very far and few visits from her brother. Carver carried Kailah out of the master bedroom and downstairs to the living room.
Three days had already passed since Kailah was born and Marian felt like she was floating on a cloud. She had the love of her life and now a daughter. A thought of her mother and sister flashed through the forefront of her mind and a sliver of sadness ebbed its way out.
"They would have loved her, mother and Bethany. There's no doubt about that." Carver said to Marian while he gazed adoringly down at Kailah.
A smile appeared on Marian's face as she joined her brother on the sofa she had bought several months ago (mostly because Cullen had often pointed out that she needed one). "I know they would have. And father would have loved her, too."
Carver looked up at his sister with a bit more of a serious expression. "Maybe you should consider leaving Kirkwall, sister. Maybe return to Lothering?"
"I have been thinking about it."
"Stop thinking and just leave. Get out of the Free Marches before things here in Kirkwall get worse. Think of your daughter."
"I will, Carver. I am. Kailah's safety is my first priority and Cullen agrees."
"I just don't want to lose any more of my family."
xxxxx
By the time Kailah was asleep and tucked into her cradle did Cullen return. The Knight-Captain had once more left his Templar armor behind in the Gallows as to look inconspicuous when walking through the streets so as to not draw attention to himself. Although he had to slip away in the dark of night, using a secret tunnel that connected the Gallows to Kirkwall's underground tunnel that lyrium smugglers often used. It was worth it if he could see his family, even for just a few hours.
"Welcome home." Marian greeted tiredly. "Carver left hours ago."
"Really? So soon?" Cullen asked.
"Grey Warden duties and all." Marian shrugged.
Cullen smiled as he kissed Marian tenderly on the lips. "How is our daughter?" he asked, fond of saying the word that he had been bursting to say it all day.
"She's spirited. She cried all afternoon after Carver left and the only thing that calmed her down was when I wrapped her in one of your shirts."
"One of my shirts?" Cullen asked, raising his eyebrows.
"I was giving her a bath and couldn't find a towel, your shirt was the nearest thing and I guess it's your smell or something because she stopped crying almost instantly."
Cullen let out a laugh. "Should I feel guilty to think our daughter misses her father already?"
Marian laughed with him, "I can't believe I have to be jealous that our daughter already loves you more."
He kissed her brow and gave her hips a squeeze before pulling back to reach inside his leather jacket and brought out a stuffed toy lamb. "A merchant in the Gallows had it among his wares. He never asked the reason why I was buying it, which I'm grateful for."
"Maybe he thought you have a thing for toys?"
"Possibly, he did give me a queer look."
"Since it was in your pocket I'm sure she'll love it." Marian teased.
Later that night as they slept together in bed, a subtle sound that could have easily been ignored woke Marian up. Being a mother made her sensitive to the littlest of sounds. Her instincts told her to check on the baby as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Looking up to where the cradle sat at the foot of the bed she froze, her blood turning to ice when she saw a dark hooded figure looming over the cradle.
"Who are you?" Marian asked, startling the figure as she sat up quickly in bed. Cullen woke up just then, his mind already alert as he jumped out of bed. "Get away from my baby!"
The figure grabbed haphazardly into the cradle, scooping up the baby along with the blankets and cushion before dashing out of the room.
"Kailah!" Cullen screamed, running after the kidnapper. "Kailah!"
"Kailah!" Marian screamed, following close behind as they flew out the front door after the kidnapper. They ran as if they were possessed, chasing after the man who had their daughter through the empty streets of Hightown. There were no city guards like there usually were, as if all of them had vanished or were conveniently elsewhere. But that mattered little right now as all focus was on getting back their infant daughter.
The kidnapper was swift on his feet, running through the empty streets like a spell of haste had been cast upon him. Marian and Cullen chased him into the plaza at the base of the Chantry where suddenly the air ripped open and a white tunnel appeared. The kidnapper ran straight into it with their daughter and then instantly vanished along with the cries of their baby.
"My BABY!"