"Behold the damned for they are the freest of us all upon being cast away from the societies. They are no longer subject to law themselves being outlaws. They are the free and we, the chained."
I feel him all the time, moving around me, inside me, against me. He feels like a brush across my skin, waking me and settling me, showing me that what I feel is not as bad as I believe it to be. But at the same time I feel hot flames of guilt licking my insides, burning my conscience.
I am afraid of how I feel and ashamed too. I am not free to feel this yet I do. I feel so intensely that it frightens me away, but only a little. Sometimes the raw passion incenses me, draws me closer, as if the fire is something I wish to step into, not caring of how it will burn me away. It still pulls me closer. It is nauseating too, how I am scared but excited at the same time, often making my insides flutter. It is just as nauseating that he makes me the epitome of everything I hate in those who love too deeply and too freely.
He is not here but he lives in my head, in my dreams and my memories. Such simple things, little things that I miss. The way he walks beside me, watching me moving. The way his gaze feels as he watches my body or the way his beautiful hand grazes my skin. He left a wound where I feel his brush on my skin over and over again. I long to see his clear eyes, the deepest of blues, gazing upon my face again, or light up in joy. I am desperate to stroke his hair again, stroke his skin and kiss his lips. I am desperate to entwine myself with him, have his arms wrapped around me and wrap mine around him, melting into each other and becoming one. I am already tangled in him, of memories of him, dreams of him, thoughts of him and wishes for him.
I feel for him so completely. He is embedded in my soul, fragments of him becoming fragments of me. I feel his pain, his joy, his jealousy, his hate, his anger, and his confusion. His love. I feel his life flickering inside me, as I am sure mine flickers inside of him. We are mixed, yet separate. We are one soul in two bodies. We are opposites and similarities at the same time. We balance one another. Except I am not sure I believe it entirely, do not trust it entirely.
We are silent lovers. We wrap around each other, caress each other in our mind's eye, being unable to in the reality. For that is where we are, in the harsh reality that is so different from the soft world that I wish for. We are strangers unsure of each other. He scares me for he is so different to whom I know in my memories. Perhaps I scare him too, maybe even disappoint him.
I am a fool who loves too deeply. For this I am outlawed, no longer following my own rule not to love too deeply or freely. I am no longer chained. I am a lover and I am free because of it. I am one of the damned. And so is he…
A/N authors note: I own no Harry Potter characters...only this piece (which i don't mention anyone directly anyway) I'm not sure where i took the quote from or if i've made it up. If you recognise it let me know! and please review!