Dads Make Great Pillows
John awoke to the sound of crying. Half-conscious, he reached over to nudge Teyla, but as his hand touched cold mattress he remembered that she had gone on a trip to the mainland and left him in charge of Torren. Sighing, he turned on the bedside light and swung his legs over the side of the bed, then stood up and padded barefoot into the adjoining room while simultaneously stifling a wide yawn.
"Hey, little man," John said as he turned on the light and saw Torren standing up in his crib, his small round face red and wet with tears. "What's the matter, pal?"
Torren looked up at him, and still wailing, said, "Mama! Mama!"
John reached down and picked Torren out of the crib. The little boy's arms instantly clung to his neck, his tear-streaked face buried in his shoulder. John rubbed Torren's back and ran his hand over the toddler's soft, curly hair.
"I know, buddy," he murmured as he walked back into his bedroom, "I miss her, too."
The boy's shuddered sighs tickled his skin, but he ignored that - as well as his itchy eyes - in favor of calming Torren. Yawning, he lightly bounced the baby in his arms and paced around the room, carefully avoiding the framed photo of Teyla in her wedding dress. Not only did he do so to keep Torren from seeing it and setting off again, but to keep himself from feeling so lonely without her. Even the memory of her kiss goodbye the day before was eating a hole in John's heart, filling him with every what-if his mind could conjure up.
Mentally shaking himself, he glanced down at Torren, who was now quietly sniffling and chewing on his pointer finger, and asked, "Movie time?"
The boy just blinked, his long lashes darker now that they were damp, so John pulled the laptop from the coffee table and carried it and Torren to his and Teyla's bed. He set the laptop down and opened the screen, then set Torren down beside it so he could bend to retrieve the box of DVDs from under the bed. Quickly choosing a movie to watch, he popped it out of the case and stuck it in the slot on the laptop. The entire time, Torren simply sat there watching him with dark eyes and his finger still in his mouth, but when John climbed up onto teh bed and settled them both under the covers, the toddler sighed and turned to stare at the laptop. John turned off the bedside light as the movie began, and soon they were both enjoying The Mummy - the Brendan Fraser version. Well, he couldn't be sure Torren was, as he was too small to understand what was happening, but he was quiet as he sat beside John, his eyes barely moving from the screen.
When the movie was almost over, Torren finally snuggled against John's chest, his top curls brushing John's neck and his tiny right hand resting over his heart. John laid his hand on the boy's back, feeling his torso rise and fall with each breath.
"Don," Torren's sleepy voice said as his hand patted John's chest.
"That's me," John replied, smiling at the pronunciation of his name.
At first, the boy just kept patting John gently, making John wonder if it was an attempt at soothing John or Torren. Then, deliberately, he looked up at John's face and said, "Dad."
As Torren lay back down and stuck his finger in his mouth, John felt his throat tighten and his eyes blurred with tears.
Where had that come from? He wondered. He knew it hadn't been just a random sound; he had seen the certainty in Torren's eyes as he spoke the word. But the question was, had he just heard the word "Dad" and decided to repeat it, or did he think John was his dad?
"TJ?" John softly called, and the boy turned his head to look at him, blinking sleepily. "Who am I?"
Torren put his hand on John's face and said, "Don." Blinking again, he added, "Dad."
As John's eyes filled with tears, Torren sat up and patted his face, repeating, "No, Don. No cry. No."
Of course, that had the opposite effect, and he hugged the little boy to his chest, his face buried in curls that smelled like baby shampoo. He could barely breathe past the thick lump in his throat. After all this time, after running so far from the possibility of a family that he'd ended up in another galaxy, he found that a family was what the universe had intended for him all along.
When Teyla quietly slipped into the room early the next morning, she was surprised to see Torren and John asleep in her bed. It wasn't just the fact that they were there, but the way they slept - Torren draped over John, his arms and legs hanging on either side of John's body and his head pillowed on John's chest, while John's hand laid on Torren's back to make sure he didn't fall off.
Kissing them both on their foreheads, she pulled the blanket up over Torren's shoulders and climbed in beside them, smiling as she wiped tears from her eyes before lightly closing them and drifting off to sleep.
END