Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin in all its totality is not mine.
Author's note: If you don't want to know how this story came about, you can skip this. A huge influence of this fic is Linay's Broken Pieces (see my favorite stories page to view). Read it if you haven't; it is the standard I aim for in terms of RK AU. It does not mean though that this fic is just as dark. It took me two years to get a move on with this story and to be frank, my interest was reignited by the live action film. I know Watsuki-sama does not like temporary fangirls but alas, I have been bitten by the RK bug again. With that, enjoy :-)
FYI: I apologize for the missed grammatical errors and OOCness. References (from songs, manga, movies, etc.) that will be made throughout the story are attributed after the 'End of Chapter' tag. I like to borrow elements from these media to enhance the atmosphere of the story. I hope it makes sense to you too.
Chapter One: Point One Percent
I'm in here,
A prisoner of history
Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for you to come rescue me
I need you to hold
All of the sadness I can not
Living inside of me
It was Kaoru's first day of work at the Hikaru Medical Center.
From the outside, it did not appear like a medical center. It looked like something plucked from a coffee table book. Sunflowers lined the long, serpentine walkway towards the entrance of the main building. Three pastel-colored buildings sprung from the back of the main. The triangular compound was hidden behind tall, overbearing pine trees. In bold, maroon letters, the center's name was etched in the middle of the main building.
With a slight skip in her steps and her luggage in tow, she sauntered to the entrance. A stern-looking security guard inspected her carry-on bag and luggage. He curtly asked her purpose of visit. When she said she was the newly hired nurse, he shook his head and apologized, silently berating himself for not reading that day's log. He gave her a yellow ID and smiled at her, taking the luggage and saying she could pick up her things later. She thanked the guard and smiled back.
As directed, she went to the third floor where she looked for Dr. Megumi Takani, the physician who interviewed her for the resident nurse post. Kaoru and her three other classmates applied for the job but only she got in. When she found out she was accepted, she knelt in front of Megumi and almost kissed her shoes in glee. With a slight croak, Megumi urged her up and Kaoru sheepishly stood. Her official first day was on Monday, November 7 at 8:00 am.
Aside from the relocation, the job offer was far too irresistible. The one-year contract is automatically renewed eight months into the contract period, if one's performance was good. The salary was competitive by Tokyo standards. Not that she would be spending it on a regular basis as she was also given free meals and clothing allowance. Of course, as it was a hospital, medical and life insurance were provided. It was the perfect compensation package. Too perfect to be true.
It also didn't hurt that this was her dream job. Ever since she could remember, Kaoru had wanted to work for Hikaru. For some reason, she was attracted to the appeal of the hospital. The reclusive center rarely opened slots for the public and so, when a vacancy was announced, she pounced on the opportunity despite protests from her other friends. They said it's a haven for serial killers. That could be true as nobody knows who is admitted in the center as well –very aptly so as it is a very special kind of hospital.
Hikaru Medical Center was an upper-class facility, privately owned by former war veteran, Saitou Hajime. It was founded 15 years ago, in the midst of the Boshin War. At that time, the center served as a refuge for the wounded. Now, the hospital served patients with special problems. Mental health problems.
Hikaru Medical Center is an asylum for the affluent.
Kaoru has always been fascinated with the inner workings of the mind. How thoughts form and become words. How words affect thoughts. How thoughts make people insane. Her friends say she chose to become a psychiatric nurse because she's trying to cure herself of her lunacy. She would laugh with them. The real reason is something she could never divulge.
Now here she was, November 7 at 7:00 am.
"Good morning, Dr. Megumi." Kaoru beamed as she approached Megumi in the nurse's station. She was busy looking at the nurse's logs when Kaoru greeted her.
Dr. Takani is the leading psychiatrist in this side of town. She has been in the business for a good 20 years. She assisted the wounded during the War and together with Saitou, helped found the mental health program for Hikaru. Looking at Megumi though, Kaoru felt that she hasn't aged a day. Straight-cut bangs framed Dr. Takani's oval face. Her long black hair was tied neatly with a purple ribbon. She wore a white trench coat but underneath was a black dress that could be mistaken as formal wear for a party.
"Good morning, Kaoru. Just call me Megumi." Megumi put down the nurse's logs.
The nurse station was empty. Kaoru guessed it's because it's only 7 in the morning.
"You can call me Tanuki. My friends call me that." Kaoru chirped.
"Tanuki? As in a raccoon-dog?" Megumi looked slightly confused.
"Yes. They said it's because I have huge eyebags that look like the eyes of a raccoon," Kaoru pointed at her eyebags, "and I am very friendly like a dog." She flashed a huge grin.
"Oh, well I sure hope you won't lick us. The eyebags—it sure doesn't seem you don't get much as sleep as you're very early. It's just 7:00 am." Megumi said, looking at her watch.
Kaoru bowed her head. "I'm so sorry, Megumi-san. I couldn't help but come in this early. I was so excited. I even woke up before my alarm rang."
Megumi waved her hand to dismiss her apology. "I understand. I was like you fifteen years ag—I mean, when it was my first day as well."
Realizing she might have spilled her age to the new girl, Megumi collected herself and walked towards the nurse's pantry. "Inasmuch as I would want to, I will not be orienting and touring you around the center. I'll have to do some rounds. Komagata Yumi here, will do that for you. She's one of our tenured nurses."
"Nice to meet you Yumi-san." Kaoru bowed her head to greet the comely nurse. Nurse? More like a geisha in her past life, Kaoru thought.
Yumi had a mole under the left side of her lower lip. Her lips were polished with a bright red lipstick, stark from her pale skin. She wore her dark brown hair in a bun, similar to what geishas did. Despite her slender frame, she was very voluptuous. Her nurse's uniform seems customized to squeeze her in all the right places.
Hentai! Kaoru scolded herself.
It made Kaoru wonder whether the center required its nurses to be this... made up. I'm going to resign immediately if that's a requirement. I don't even know what a mascara is, Kaoru huffed.
Shaking Kaoru out of her reverie, Yumi put down her cup of coffee on the white enamel table. She bowed her head as well. "Me too. Welcome to Hikaru Medical Center," she said with a smile.
Megumi turned to Yumi and gave instructions. "Yumi, please proceed with the orientation. You know the drill."
She looked at Kaoru and smiled, "We're glad to have you here Kaoru. Welcome to the family."
With a swing of her coat, Megumi left the pantry. The click-clop of her shoes echoed in the hallway.
"Please come with me." Yumi ironed the skirt of her uniform and tilted her head to prod Kaoru on.
The whole third floor was painted in immaculate white. The square tiles were grey and marbled. Aside from the vision, mission and programs of Hikaru Medical Center, nothing can be seen on the walls.
Kaoru followed Yumi to an office near the station. Yumi entered a staff-less office. She looked tentatively at a stack of similar-looking small Samsonite luggage which had Hikaru's logo painted in front. She inspected each one and when she found what she was looking for, gingerly took it from the pile. She rolled the luggage to Kaoru.
"This is your kit. It contains your ID, uniform, work schedule and the center's bible. It's not a literal Bible, but it's what we abide by here. Break the rules and you pay." She said grimly.
Kaoru took the kit and nodded nervously. "I understand, Yumi-san."
"I'm just pulling your leg. Let's begin the tour shall we? Oh and you can pick up the kit after the tour. It's quite heavy."
Samsonite luggage containing my kit? How fancy! Kaoru thought. Setting her kit at one side of the room, Kaoru then followed her.
Yumi tirelessly toured Kaoru around the facility. Although it was a five-story structure, the main building resembled a very large house. Unlike the third floor, the rest were less sterile. Abstract and nature paintings speckled the earth-colored walls. Kaoru strained her eyes to read the names of the artists and recognized some famous mangaka. Each floor had a unique, artistic feel to it.
"Saitou-sama may seem like a chain-smoking stiff," Kaoru gasped at Yumi's description, "—don't tell anyone I called him that—but his wife has softened his demeanor. He personally buys these paintings and asks local artists to send him their work."
Kaoru could not digest what she has heard. "Saitou-sama has a wife?" she mumbled.
"You better believe it. Let's proceed with the orientation."
Yumi explained the architecture of the complex. At the heart is the main building. This is where the patients' rooms are located as well as the laboratory and consulting clinic. The three pastel-colored buildings surrounding the main one were the activity center, nurses' quarters, and function hall. Important meetings and company parties were held at the function hall. The activity center was the common area, which included a sports complex where one can play—supervised—billiards, ping-pong, tennis, badminton, or chess; a gym which only had an indoor pool and sauna; and an open patio to read books or just stare off to space, as she saw one patient do.
The triangular complex encloses a neatly trimmed open field in the center. Several cobblestone pathways intersected at the center where a water fountain bathed an abstract monument. It looked like a silhouette of a man and woman screaming but at the side one can interpret that they were kissing; at the back, the angle seemed that they were holding hands. Why this was the centerpiece of the center baffled Kaoru. Different types of trees alternated in random areas of the field. There were round cottages scattered in the field as well, encircled by a bed of white roses and yellow camellias. Overall, the central garden felt like a walk in the park.
Being mentally ill just seems like vacation in an Italian villa when you're rich, Kaoru thought to herself.
"The mental health program we offer, though generally standardized and abiding by World Health Organization guidelines, is also customized for each patient. We also participate in clinical trials to ensure we subscribe to the latest medical breakthroughs." On their way to the function hall, Yumi was interrupted by an old man passing by, doing origami.
Kaoru gasped as she realized who the old man was. It was former Prime Minister Okubo Toshimichi. After his scandalous impeachment, Okubo left Japan to retire in Europe. Or so everyone thought. There were murmurs that he had dementia but Kaoru never imagined he would stay at Hikaru.
Seeing Kaoru's reaction, Yumi emphasized her next words. "As you can see, some patients are popular political figures so it's imperative we maintain their confidentiality. Saitou-sama has friends in the higher-ups who aren't as normal as media play them to be. We have to keep our mouth shut about these things. That's what you signed up for in that non-disclosure form."
Yumi waved her hand, gesturing Kaoru to follow her again.
"In your kit you'll also find a map of this huge facility. It will take you awhile to memorize this circuitous place but don't be frustrated – we all were. What won't take you a while though is memorizing the staff's names." Yumi led her to a nursing station in the fourth floor where all the nurses were.
Indeed, it wasn't very difficult to memorize ten names. Akane, Miyaka, Hatome, Kara, Zukita, Nekko, Uno and Irma. It astounded Kaoru that for such a huge center, there were only 10 nurses (including herself and Yumi)—and all female at that. Yumi said there wasn't a need for male nurses. The men could be found at the activity center though, training or supervising the patients in their play time. She spotted a few as well at the laboratory. And of course, the several uniformed guards in every corner of the hospital.
"I thought there would be a lot of us who'd be hired." She remarked.
"Oh, no dear. We seldom open slots for the public as there is no need. Our staff to patient ratio is very optimal. And besides, no one has ever resigned from our staff." Yumi reassured her.
"But the ad said that you were filling up some vacated positions. There were even five open slots." Kaoru said with conviction, as she has memorized the ad by heart.
"Really? I'm not sure why that's what the ad said. It must be a mistake at Human Resources. Our officer Kira is not known for being prudent." Yumi dismissed.
Kaoru couldn't shake a stirring feeling in her gut. Though she knew that the facility is famous for its unorthodox methods and advanced technologies, she is bothered with what she's learning now. One doctor, ten nurses. In this humongous mental institute? That is literally insane, Kaoru remarked.
Out of curiosity, she asked again. "Is Megumi-san the only doctor here?
Yumi nodded. "She has been since this center was reformed into a mental hospital."
"That would mean she's on 24-hour shifts?"
This time, Yumi shook her head. "We operate on 11-hour shifts every day."
"So that means we're seriously understaffed."
Yumi grunted, increasingly getting annoyed with Kaoru's questioning, rather, interrogation. "No. We are doing just fine. Thank you for your concern, Kaoru." Her arms akimbo, she continued, "There are only 30 patients in this hospital and 30 at any given time only. A patient can stay with us for a maximum of five years. We cure the patient of his/her illness in half a decade, that's our guarantee. If not…"
"If not?" Kaoru leaned forward, feeling that she will be learning about something terrible.
Yumi looked at her blankly and continued, "If not, we pay for the treatment of the patient for the next five years in another elite facility. That's why we're very expensive. Our efficacy rate is at 99.9%." A bit irritated at Kaoru's million questions, Yumi turned her back and walked towards a small opening at the end of the hallway.
That would mean there's at least one patient who hasn't been cured. Why then is the facility keeping these patients? Before she could ask Yumi again, she saw that she has entered the back door at the end of the hallway.
All intuition of strangeness escaped Kaoru the minute she saw the sakura garden. Over a dozen sakura trees encircled a small bench cozy enough for a couple. There were other small cottages that dotted the garden, leading one to think it was a picnic area. That small bench though was the prime spot. It gave one a full view of the landscape.
Yumi sat down on the bench and urged Kaoru to sit beside her. "Beautiful isn't it? Unlike normal sakura trees, those never seem to wilt. Saitou-sama must have spliced them or something. When the workload isn't as stressful, we nurses love to go here, stare at the trees and meditate."
Kaoru looked up and reveled in what she saw. A soft wind rustled the cherry blossom trees. One of its petals landed on her palm.
For a moment, both of them were silent.
Yumi knew there was something troubling Kaoru. "I understand how you feel. You'll learn to love it here though. There are literally crazy days but then there's this garden that reminds you of the simpler, saner things in life." Yumi inhaled deeply, closing her eyes.
Kaoru nodded. She looked at the petal in her palm. "I hope I can love it here indeed." She inadvertently said out loud.
Yumi peered at her and pursed her lips.
Please don't cry. It's okay now. It's okay…
It was happening again. The voices in his head getting louder, reverberating harder. Every time these did, he would sink in one corner of the room and squeeze his eyes shut until these went away. He pressed his hands to his ears and rocked himself back and forth.
Please go away. Please. Stop. He would chant to himself, even though it was no use.
Nightmares keep haunting him. Every inch of her reminds him of that Day.
Her scent. Her smile. Her blood.
His eyes fixated at one corner of the wall. He saw a black figure, a silhouette of his tormentor. A woman with long, black hair. Eyes as black as her tresses. Lips as pale as milk. In her lap laid a bouquet of white plums. She offered one to him.
He reached out his arm, extended his hand, crawled to her. With every unsure slide, the scent grew stronger. With every unsure slide, she came into view.
"Please let me see that smile again." He whispered.
Slowly, he was reaching the flower. Her pallid hand kept still, waiting for him.
He sat up; finally he took the single white plum from her clasp and inhaled its scent. It was as fragrant as he remembered.
He suddenly felt something wet on his nose and lips. He touched the substance and realized that the plum has liquefied into a pool of blood.
He looked down and soon, the liquid engulfed the floor and stained his trousers. He looked up and saw the room beginning to bleed. He slowly turned his gaze to her.
As he stared into her blank eyes, she screamed.
He screamed as well.
"What was that?" Kaoru jumped a bit, the scream piercing her concentration. Whatever happy thoughts she was pondering on about working for the facility seemed to vanish with the scream. It sounded agonizing. Raw. Painful.
"Obviously that was a scream, Kaoru. You have to be more perceptive than that to work here." Yumi clicked her tongue.
Why isn't she even bothered? Silly me, she's been here for so long she's gotten used to this. It gave her the chills to know that in time, she will get used to that type of sound as well.
"I know, I mean who was that?" Kaoru sheepishly asked.
Dismissing Kaoru's embarrassment, Yumi smiled and then sighed. "You'll find out soon enough. But that can wait later. Are you hungry? Let's eat."
Yumi reintroduced Kaoru to the nurses. They ate their bentos and shared stories over miso soup. Where she studied (Tanaka Medical School). How is she doing so far (Okay). Does she have a boyfriend (No). Did she ever have a boyfriend (No).
Despite the happy banter and friendly chatter, Kaoru felt goosebumps when she remembered the scream. Who is that patient? Kaoru swallowed a piece of sushi as she wondered.
"Are you sure about this?" Megumi cast a disapproving look at the tall man. She sat on a mahogany chair, arms crossed over her chest.
Saitou remained calm, seated across Megumi.
The man behind the aged oak desk clasped his hands together. "There is no other way, Megumi." He said calmly, noting Megumi's glare at him.
"You're dragging that poor girl into your mess!" Megumi stood and slammed her hands on the desk.
"Saitou-sama, say something, please!" she stared at Saitou, who remained quiet.
"There is no other way, Megumi-san. You know that." The man remained seated and continued to respond to her coolly.
"But—it's too dangerous." Realizing she might have overreacted, Megumi retreated to her seat.
The man did not respond. Instead, he stood and lingered his eyes on the sakura garden outside his window.
Megumi sighed. "You've always been stubborn."
"And you've always been pessimistic, Megumi-san." He smiled.
"I just hope you're right."
"Me too." He watched as the blossoms fell on the small bench in the center.
Work resumed in 30 minutes. Yumi took Kaoru to the patient's wing of the building.
"Kaoru, as you may have realized by now, there are not a lot of patients in this hospital given the very steep price that one has to pay. Still, it can get demanding at times especially if one patient is 'needier' than another. However, we have a policy that new nurses can only tend to one patient for the next six months. Consider it as a 'test' of your abilities as a nurse."
Kaoru braced herself for what she was to hear next. She was excited yet anxious. Finally, she will be carrying out the real duties of a mental health nurse. Finally, she will be meeting patients who scream bloody murder like that man during lunch. She has yet decided how to balance both emotions.
"So for the next six months, you will be catering solely to one lucky patient." Yumi grinned widely, as if she was telling Kaoru she won the lottery.
Kaoru tried to reciprocate the enthusiasm. "I see. And who is this patient?"
"You've got to be 'patient' Kaoru. We're getting to his room now. And yes, he was the one who screamed a while ago." Yumi winked.
Kaoru's heart sunk. The man who seemed possessed by a thousand demons. Her patient. "Oh, he seems troubled. Isn't there a policy regarding new recruits handling... er... 'saner' cases?"
"Kaoru, please, they are all the same. There's no patient that is saner than the other. One patient may have a good day today then a berserk mode men even forget they have a dick due to their insanity. Some women think they do. So you know, same banana. Pun not intended." Yumi said matter-of-factly.
Kaoru couldn't find comfort in what Yumi was telling her. She couldn't understand why she was so nervous as well. Usually, this type of case challenged her. She even sought for difficult patients when she was still a volunteer in other hospitals. Maybe it's because of that scream. I've never heard someone scream like that before.
She tried to shake her hesitations and asked to be briefed as distraction, "What's his story?"
Yumi sighed. "You can read his files. But anyway, rough overview: he got crazy around 10 years ago. You wouldn't want to know the reason. It's too gruesome. There's a cross-shaped scar on his cheek that hasn't faded since he was first admitted here. I'm not sure if it was self-inflicted. I always forget the story. "
"He's been diagnosed as manic depressive, borderline schizophrenic. So congratulations, you've got the complete package. The regular medications don't work on him. He's been enrolled in several clinical trials for new drugs that treat multiple mental illnesses. On top of that, there's the nonpharmacological treatment- cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnotism, the works - but to no avail. It just seems he's damned to be crazy for the rest of his life. Or that he refuses to be treated."
Kaoru didn't like what she was hearing. It was her first time to handle a case with multiple illnesses. Remembering something, she asked, "I thought we refer patients to other facilities if we can't treat them in five years?"
Yumi nodded. "Before his 'contract' with the center expired, Megumi enrolled him in another clinical trial. Last ditch effort to cure him. He's her first patient that's why she's so concerned I guess."
Kaoru felt that they were nearing the patient's room as Yumi's steps became slower. "That's a very smooth overview for you. Hope you're ready for him."
They stopped on the last room of the wing. The door was nondescript white. It was the only one with that color.
Yumi turned the door handle. Kaoru swore she felt time slowed as she did. Yumi opened the door and let Kaoru in. "Here we are. Room 417."
Pitch black darkness greeted Kaoru. She saw blood-red hair from the farthest corner of the room. The mop of hair gradually moved and stopped. Amber eyes glowered at Kaoru. She felt chills down her spine again.
Finally, Yumi was able to open the blinds. "I'm sorry Kaoru, he doesn't like the lights open. We'll have to settle with solar illumination." She said.
Kaoru nodded feebly. She couldn't remove her gaze from the patient.
Long, crimson locks covered the man's scrawny body. He was hunched over; his legs crossed huddled to his chest. Black shirt and pants highlighted his fiery mane. His hair looked like blood dripping onto his body. A deeply-etched, cross-shaped scar marred the left side of his otherwise alabaster face. He was glaring at her still.
"Kaoru, meet your patient, Himura Kenshin. Kenshin, meet your new nurse, Kamiya Kaoru."
Yumi's introduction fell on deaf ears.
Kaoru tried to avert her gaze but was locked in the embers of his eyes. Kenshin couldn't believe it was her. After 10 long years, she had come back. The smell of white plums assaulted his senses. The flames of amber eyes bore a hole through her chest.
Yumi observed silently.
I'm in here
Can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?
-End of Chapter One-
Song: I'm in Here by Sia Furler. So in love with her voice and her songs. You shall see more of her in my next chapters.
End Notes: These notes shall contain my own thoughts on the chapter. That was effing long. It wasn't? Gomen ne, then :-(. I hope you were patient enough to read through though. Until the next one!
Next chapter: Kaoru begins her duties as Kenshin's personal nurse.