The Chavs Get Sorted By The Daleks
It is a bright sunny day and the chavs are going for a daliy walk and drinking session as they walk you can hear them say stupid things like "sorted" and "innit son" Passers by laugh at how pathetic they are. One chav complains about stomach pains and collapses on the floor in pain. An ambulance arrives on the scene, she is put on board. A paramedic asks her "have you had sex" she replies "umm me don't know" the man says "what do you mean you don't know? Idiot, oh wait you are a chav never mind then ". The man whispers quietly "I hate chavs they are such stupid losers". Several hours later one of the boys who was with the girl asked "where is da girl who waz with us? The other boy replies "what girl?'' Elsewhere a spaceship lands on Earth three Daleks leave the ship the Dalek in the centre says "we must exterminate all chavs, exterminate!!!!!!!!!". The three Daleks set off on they're mission.
Meanwhile at the hospital the girl has given birth and is wondering who the father is because she has slept with so many boys she is unsure which one it is. A red haired boy Charlie comes in to see her, as a chav they never think things through she tells Charlie ''You are the father!'' Charlie just stares blankly and replies '' Wot's a father?'' because his left when he was young. Elsewhere the Daleks find the chavs they are looking for. One chav says "all right son" to the Daleks. The Daleks are not amused and one says "I am not your son you freak, all chavs must be exterminated "the chav replies "why son " the Dalek replies "because chavs think they are class when they suck and because they can't speak proper English". The 3 Daleks scream "exterminate" and kill the chavs happily people nearby cheer as each chav is exterminated. One Dalek says "we really sorted them"
The Daleks fly to they're ship, they have returned to the ship so they can call for backup to help exterminate the chavs. One of the Daleks contacts they're leader the Master Dalek, he says to him "there are more chavs on Earth than we thought; we need reinforcements to help us destroy every single chav on Earth as quickly as possible". The Master Dalek says "very well I will send ten thousand units to destroy all the chavs on the planet on your signal". The Master Dalek pauses and then says "I have a special mission for you three I want you to exterminate the leader of the chavs".
Meanwhile the chavs on Earth are flocking to the leader for protection. At the local hospital the chav mother, father and baby are trying to figure out how to open the door to leave the hospital. The mother chav says "I can't remember how to open the thing in front of me" the father replies "perhaps the baby knows". They both look at the baby for guidance but receive none. After several hours of staring blankly at the door a man opens it for them and says "get the hell out of here you stupid idiotic chavs and don't come back".Meanwhile on the news a reporter is saying the daily headlines." And today's best headline is chavs everywhere are being killed by the Daleks, Billions of people around the world are throwing parties to celebrate this joyous occasion. Well all I got to say is go Daleks go the man begins dancing happily. Elsewhere the three Daleks have located the chav leader it turns out he is a Cyberchav. He become a Cyberchav after the Cybermen invaded Earth when they upgraded him he was too stupid to listen to orders so they left him. He became the leader because he is shiny and had an E grade in one of his GCSEs that good by chav standards. The Daleks approach the leader of the chavs, chavs around them look blankly at the Daleks one says "wow! Moving dustbins" one of the Daleks look at him and says "shut up u stupid chav exterminate!!!" The Dalek quickly kills him and moves towards the leader of the chavs. Unknown to the Daleks they are being watched from above by three mysterious figures. The leader looks at them and says "Orite my brothers the Dalek in the centre replies "we are in no way related to you stupid jerk". "My hommies why isn't u wearing your bling" the Dalek replies "what is this bling you speak of?" "You know bling bling" said the chav leader. "That doesn't answer my question, now you will be exterminated" said the Dalek as the Dalek says that the chav leader throws his chain at the Dalek and hit its eye piece it then says "my vision is impaired I cannot see". All the chavs around pounce on the Daleks and they are captured.
One of the Daleks sends out a distress signal which says they have been captured to the Dalek command ship. The Master Dalek receives it and says "save the Daleks we must before they are chavinated, quickly with all speed we must go to Earth". Back on earth, suddenly the three Daleks all say "elevate" and they all flew up and the chavs on top of them were thrown off. One of the Daleks says "how dare you touch us you complete and utter losers" As the Dalek says this, the three mysterious figures reveal themselves to be Cybermen. The Daleks see them and one of the Daleks says "oh great it's the Losermen" one of the Cybermen replies "we are not losers we rule" The Dalek replies "correct you rule at sucking" another Dalek says "ha ha you made a funny" The two other Daleks look at him and shake their heads and the Dalek looks down in shame. The Dalek then continues "why are you here". Meanwhile on the TARDIS the Doctor's assistant "says to him "Doctor the Daleks are killing all the chavs on Earth" he replies "so?" his assistant then says "aren't you going to do anything" he replied "why they are not doing anything wrong". Elsewhere the Chav mother and father are lost in the hospital car park and can find no way out even though there is a big exit sign with an arrow in front of them but they are too busy arguing with a bin which won't answer them and tell them the way out. You see chavs don't know that bins can't talk Jerks that they are. The chav mother says "tells us da way out or I will get my brothers, sisters cousins older brother to beat you up." They both look at the bin for the reply but are surprised to see they don't get one.
At the warehouse the Cyberman replies "We are here to upgrade every person on this planet". The Dalek then says "how are the chavs involved" the Cyberman replies "We are using the chavs to help us take over the planet because of their great numbers which are rising everyday and they are too stupid to question our authority". The Dalek replies "only one problem you have to beat us first". The Cyberman then says "we will delete you too easily". "No you will be exterminated!!!" The Cyberman replied "Chavs delete all the Daleks!" "Bring it on" said the Dalek. The three Daleks get ready for attack when suddenly there was a huge explosion and at that moment the Master Dalek and thousands of other Daleks all entered the warehouse. The Dalek in the centre of the three Daleks said "who called for help I didn't tell anyone to send the distress signal" another of the three Daleks said "well it wasn't me". The two Daleks both looked at the other one and shook their heads. He hung his eye piece in shame and said "sorry". "Never mind" said the Master Dalek. The Three Cybermen made a break for it but the Master Dalek blew all their heads off and they fell to the floor they screamed as they died. The Master Dalek then said "that gets rid of them losers now for the Chavs". He paused and then said "now is the time for us to finish our mission, Exterminate!!!!!!!!!!!" All ten thousand of the Daleks began exterminating all the chavs. The chav leader tries to escape but runs into a door and is knocked out.
Back at the car park the chav father say to the bin "that's it son fight me, come on then" he begins pushing the bin but is surprised it doesn't push back. He then says "let's find a place of sitting down us can" roughly translated to English he is saying let's find somewhere to sit down. Stupid chav can't speak English properly. They find a bench but they have forgotten how to sit down the Chav mother says "How do ya use dis thing. The father looks at her and says "who the hell r u".
Back at the warehouse all the chavs have been exterminated. The Master Dalek says "spread out around the world and exterminate every last chav leave none alive". All of the Daleks spread out around the world exterminating the chavs. One Dalek decides to visit Mc Donald's another Dalek asks him "why are u going in here" he replies "I have come to see an old friend". The Dalek looks around the restaurant and sees who he is looking for he says "there he is". The person he was looking for was Ronald Mc Donald. The Dalek said "time to die gay boy exterminate!" Ronald Mc Donald dies and makes a strange ooh sound as he dies. The other Dalek asks the Dalek "why did you kill him?" the Dalek replies "I just really don't like clowns and because of those dam ugly stripy socks".
Elsewhere two Daleks have found the mother and father chavs. They kill them and then they notice the baby and say "what of the baby" the other Dalek says "he is too young to be a chav we should take him to an orphanage, they do that and then report back to the Master Dalek. Outside the warehouse all the Daleks have returned they mission is completed every chav has been exterminated. Suddenly all the Daleks begin to dance in celebration to the song Firestarter. The Master Dalek says to the two Daleks who found the baby of the chavs. "This is a grand day the final end of the chavs". One of the Daleks then says "is it really what if the baby grows up to become a chav". The Master Dalek replies "that can't happen, won't happen, will it?"
The End
By Paul C