I don't know what this is. It doesn't make any sense. I was bored. Don't judge me.
First conversation: Tori and Jade, Jade on Tori's door
Second conversation: Andre and Tori, at... wherever
Third conversation: Cat, Jade and Tori, at school
Forth conversation: Tori and Jade, at... wherever
xxxxxxx
"Is it you?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Come in."
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm not coming in."
"Err-"
"I just came to tell you something and I'm leaving."
"What is it?"
"Stay away from Beck."
"…"
"Did you hear me, Vega?"
"Are you serious?"
"You have no idea how serious I am."
"When are you going to understand I feel nothing towards your boyfriend?"
"When you start showing it by actions, not by words."
"Okay, what did I do?"
"I saw how you fawned upon him today."
"Today when?"
"Vega!"
"West."
"…Did you just call me by my surname?"
"Yes."
"…Alright."
"Is this it?"
"…"
"Jade?"
"Stay away from Beck, am I clear? He's mine."
"There's nothing between me and him! Jade, don't you turn your back on me… Jade! Ughh!
"Hey, Tor."
"Andre."
"You look sad."
"I'm fine."
"Oh come on, tell me what's up. I'm your best buddy."
"And if you weren't?"
"…Huh?"
"What if the circumstances were different? If we weren't friends?"
"…I thought you liked being my friend."
"I do but what if things weren't like this? If instead of friends we were… a couple, for example?"
"…"
"Andre?"
"Tor, are you hinting something or-"
"Hinting? Uh… No, of course not…"
"Yeah, yeah, of course you aren't, why did I even think…"
"Unless…"
"Unless what?"
"…You want to."
"…"
"Andre?"
"Chica, are you making me a love declaration?"
"What? Err, no, I… I…"
"Tor, this is very flattering but I thought you knew that I-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
"And I thought you-"
"You're right, you're right."
"But yet…"
"But yet what?"
"We can try… if you want to."
"…"
"Tori?"
"Mhm?"
"You okay?"
"Yeah… Yeah. It's just that all this is really unexpected. I didn't even think I'd say something like this before the words escaped my mouth."
"Same here."
"So… we're gonna give it a try?"
"Why not? We've got nothing to lose."
"…Wow, I feel really special."
"Tor, you know I didn't mean it like that-"
"I know, 'Dre. It's fine."
"…"
"…"
"So what now? Do we have to kiss or something?"
"I suggest we don't rush things that much."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right, that would be the best."
"…"
"…"
"Well, till tomorrow, An- boyfriend."
"I'll call you just Tori 'cause 'girlfriend' sounds ridiculous to me."
"Okay."
"Bye, Tori."
"Mornin'."
"Hiiiiii!"
"Uh, Cat… A bit quieter-"
"Andre told me you're his girlfriend!"
"What? Ugh, no, no-"
"My brother once got himself a girlfriend and invited her at home for dinner. After that she didn't want to see him ever again."
"…"
"Yup, he got a restraining order."
"…Erm. That was a… fascinating story but-"
"Vega!"
"Um… Jade?"
"Hiii, Jadey-"
"Shut up, Cat!"
"Phooey."
"Vega, are you dating Andre?"
"Wait, does the whole school know?"
"Oopsey."
"Cat?"
"I may or may have not posted a status on The Slap about it."
"Caaat!"
"I'm sorry, I'm just very excited!"
"Thank you but-"
"So you really are dating Andre? Andre Harris?!"
"It's not Beck, what's your deal?"
"Oh, so you started dating Andre just to be with someone? So your real aim is Beck?"
"When did I say that?!"
"I've always thought you two would get together."
"…"
"…"
"And I would be your child."
"…"
"Um, Cat, you have parents-"
"Yes, I know and I really love mommy and daddy but since that improv class I can't stop thinking what would it be to be your child."
"Cat… You can't… You could have been mine and Beck's daughter-"
"Or mine and Andre's!"
"HOWEVER! You couldn't have been mine and Vega's."
"Yeah! 'Cause we're both girls."
"Of course I could! And Beck and Andre would be my big brothers!"
"Cat, women can't have children without men-"
"But Tori can be a man if she wants to. She just has to put her moustache on and boom! - she's a man."
"That was just a play-"
"But in the play mom and dad didn't go on a date, did they? And you two did!"
"It was a play date."
"Yeah right, you ate together, sang together, chased some boys away so you could be alone… Sounds like a date to me!"
"Who even told you all this?"
"You'd be surprised what Sinjin's willing to do for a kiss."
"..."
"…"
"You kissed Sinjin?!"
"Yes. On the cheek."
"Eww!"
"Actually it wasn't that bad. He smelled of breath spray and wet dog. At the same time."
"I didn't think there would come a day a girl would kiss Sinjin."
"Yeah, even Trina runs away from him."
"And we all know your sister's standard is pretty low."
"Heey! …It's true."
"Whatever. Cat, people can do all these things without being a couple."
"Yeah, friends do it too."
"Don't you even dare, Vega."
"I had to try."
"You mad at me?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"You absolutely s-"
"Vega, stop molesting me."
"You're acting weird."
"Yep, that's me. Jade the Weirdo."
"You're meaner than the usual."
"You're imagining things."
"I'm sure I'm right."
"Then you don't know me."
"I think I know you very well."
"And I think you're living in a fantasy."
"Gank."
"Now we're talking the same language."
"Is this about Andre?"
"Huh?"
"Do you like him?"
"Are you crazy?"
"They say jealous people are actually the ones who are afraid they'll get caught cheating. You're growling at every girl who goes near Beck-"
"Vega, I've got scissors…"
"-but actually you've got a thing for Andre."
"…and I'm going to use them."
"Why don't you confess to Beck?"
"Why don't you stop butting in?"
"Because I care. Beck's a good guy and he doesn't deserve to be lied. And for an unknown reason, I care about you too."
"…How touching."
"Yeah, that's me. The Touching Tori."
"Literally… Wait, you answered me back?!"
"Shocker."
"Are you drunk?"
"Maybe I'll get drunk if you keep on doing this."
"What did I do?"
"You're not telling me the truth."
"Do I have to?"
"Of course you do. You're denying that we're friends but we are. And I know everything about you."
"…That was really creepy."
"You scared? Good. Be scared!"
"Ha! Of you? You nearly pissed your pants when we watched The Scissoring."
"That girl killed her friends with a pair of scissors and drank their blood!"
"Starting with the pretty girl."
"So you think I'm pretty?"
"When did I say that?!"
"And you just admitted I'm your friend."
"Or that?!"
"Don't force yourself, Jade. We both know what you don't dare to say out loud."
"…Whatever."
"Are you a virgin?"
"…What?!"
"Didn't you hear me?"
"Did you really ask me that?!"
"Yes."
"What kind of questions are these?"
"Pretty simple."
"…"
"Jade?"
"I'm not going to answer."
"Why not?"
"It's not your business."
"So you're not a virgin?"
"I'm not even troubling to reply."
"You just did."
"…"
"Is Beck a good lover?"
"…"
"Jade?"
"What?!"
"Is Beck-"
"I heard you!"
"Why aren't you answering then?"
"Because you and I are not friends. And because my sexual life is not your biz."
"You're wrong."
"About which?"
"About both."
"Okay, smarty-pants. Are you a virgin?"
"No."
"Wow, Vega is naughty! With Andre?"
"No. With Danny. And with Steven. And with Carly."
"Jesus… Wait, Carly?! From iCarly?!"
"Ahahahahaha!"
"That was a lame joke."
"But your eyes brightened when you heard it."
"Excuse me?!"
"It's okay. I won't tell anybody."
"You're nuts."
"Maybe but I'm not blind."
"I was just surprised, that's all."
"Mmm, right."
"Stop talking to me."
"You're mad 'cause I caught you."
"Seriously, you're worse than Cat."
"Maybe but you're still mad."
"If I told you I had slept with Sam from iCarly, how would you react?"
"I would get mad I wasn't there to watch."
"…You don't know how gay you just sounded."
"What? She's fiiine."
"And I'm not, is that so?"
"Are you begging for compliments, Jade?"
"No, but it's still insulting."
"You have feelings?!"
"Get lost, Vega."
"But no, seriously, would you like to try it with Sam?"
"No. She's got that babe Freddie. And I've got Beck."
"In my opinion neither of you is with the right person. Sam's perfect for Carly."
"Yeah, and I'm perfect for you, right?"
"…"
"…"
"Um…"
"Vega, you know I didn't mean that. It slipped from my mouth…"
"Okay, okay."
"I wanted to say that you and I…"
"Yes, I know."
"What, are you offended now?"
"No."
"Why the fuck are you offended? If someone should be offended, that's me."
"I said I'm not. And why are you offended?"
"You brought me together with Sam Puckett from iCarly!"
"What's wrong with that?"
"It's wrong that I'm straight."
"Yeah, that is wrong."
"…Tori, since the start of this conversation you sound like a total lesbian."
"Surprise, surprise."
"…Wait, are you serious?"
"Of course not."
"Thank God. I got scared here for a second."
"So you would be ashamed to hang out with me if I were a lesbian?"
"You and I are not friends. We don't hang out."
"But you would be ashamed?"
"I'm not your mother. I wouldn't be ashamed."
"So my mom has to be ashamed?"
"You said you weren't a lesbian."
"But what if I were?"
"…This talk lost its sense a long time ago."
"Have you seen 'Phineas and Ferb'?"
"How do you change topics so fast?"
"Have you seen it?"
"I hate Disney."
"Don't you think the doctor and the platypus would be cute together?"
"Eww, no. The doctor's really ugly and the platypus is… well, a platypus."
"You said you didn't watch Disney."
"…You're no one to judge me."
"If Perry was human, wouldn't they be a cute couple?"
"…"
"Admit it."
"Fine, maybe they would."
"They're enemies, Jade."
"So what? …Wait, is this conversation going somewhere?"
"Damn you're fast, Captain Obvious."
"Catherine. You mean Catherine."
"I hate you."
"Yeah, right."
"I really do."
"Like the doctor hates the platypus?"
"More."
"But you said they loved each other."
"…"
"I shouldn't have said that."
"…"
"Why are our talks always so awkward?"
"Because there's sexual tension between us."
"…W-what?"
"I'm trying to tell you from the beginning but you're acting like you don't get me."
"Vega, look, I… No, Vega, no, Beck… Andre… you and I… oh… Ooooh!"
"Don't fight nature, Jadey. Just don't."
Please, leave me a review. Even if it says how stupid I am... if you want me to cry to sleep.
But no, seriously, leave me a review. :)