Just a little idea that scampered through my head hehe
James had just returned from a rather benign mission and was on his way to M's office. As it was still quite early, he thought he might surprise his boss by asking if she would like to join him for dinner. It's not as though they made a regular habit of meeting outside the office but due to the hour, it was quite possible that he would fall asleep on her sofa waiting for her, as she tended to work rather late when he was away. As he made his way to her office, he saw Eve listening at the door and desperately trying to contain a giggle.
"What's so funny?" he whispered in her ear, causing her to jump
"James" she said with a rather embarrassed look, followed by a silly grin "You're back early" she said as she quickly took her seat
"So it would seem. So what is it? What could possibly be going in there that would cause you to listen at the door?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" she said with a laugh
"Why don't you try me, I'm due for a little humor after this unmercifully boring mission"
"It's M" she said as she began to giggle
"What about her?"
"Well, Q decided that her phone was out of date and she really needed an upgrade so he got her a new, fancy phone with all the bells and whistles this morning, and she isn't very happy about it"
"What's so funny about that?"
"Her old phone did one thing and one thing only, it made and received calls. This one will do practically everything but the dishes. I think she's finally getting the hang of it, but...Well I'll just let you see for yourself" she said as she rang M to let her know James was waiting
"She's waiting for you, and don't say I didn't warn you, and whatever you do...DO NOT LAUGH or she'll drop you where you stand" warned Eve
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because all I did was offer to help her connect to the internet and she nearly bit my head off"
"I'll keep that in mind" he replied with a grin as he cautiously entered the office
"Oh, 007 Welcome back" said M as she looked up briefly and the quickly returned her attention to the phone in her hand
"What's that, a new toy?" he asked teasingly
"What does it look like? A toaster? It's a new phone" she said wrinkling up her face as she angrily tapped at the screen
"What's wrong? Does it take orders as well as I do?" he said with a smile
"Now that you mention it, it's seems to be a bit more belligerent than you are" she said in a disgusted tone "It talks back"
"Oh really" he laughed "What does it say?"
"It supposedly has this feature called Seri where you can ask it a question and it will answer"
"And?"
"Well when I ask it gives me answers like "Try rephrasing the question" or "Unable to answer due to lack of information" or "I'm sorry, I didn't get that". What the hell good is this if it won't answer my question?" she said angrily
"Well what did you ask it?" he asked as he took a seat opposite her and desperately tried not to laugh "And did you ask it nicely?"
"I asked it what the chances were of you returning from a mission with all of your equipment intact" she said sarcastically
"I see" he replied shifting in his seat while attempting to maintain a straight face
"And did you know that you can play games on this?" she said showing him the screen "I found this game called Candy Crush Saga. I thought games were supposed to be relaxing, but all this one does is raise my blood pressure and make me want to chuck this thing out the nearest window"
"Let me see it" he said leaning across the desk and taking the phone from her "Well you must not hate it that much, I see you're already on level 29" he said with a grin "And you've only had the phone less than eight hours"
"Yes but I've been on that bloody level for over an hour, and once you've used the measly five lives they give you, you have to wait for fifteen minutes or hope someone sends you a life."
"Why M, I had no idea that you liked the internet so much" he quipped
"I don't, I stumbled across this while I was attempting to "Friend" my daughter on Face book"
"And how did that work out?" he asked curiously
"Friend request pending" she said as she took the phone back "Enough about the phone. What brings you to the office? I would have thought you would take advantage of what little free time you have..."
"Actually it's the free time that's brought me here" he replied sitting up a little straighter in his chair
"Oh?"
"I just thought that since I am back early I would stop by and see if you would like to join me for dinner?"
M looked at James for a moment and then narrowed her eyes a bit
"What's the catch?" she asked suspiciously
"No catch, I just figured I would save myself the trouble of breaking into your flat tonight, and try escorting you thru the front door for a change"
"Well in that case, I would love to join you" she replied with a smile
"How about Japanese?"
"Fine, just let me put these files away. Which restaurant did you want to go to?" she asked
"Whichever one is closest"
"Which is?"
"Let's ask you phone" he said picking the phone up
"Don't bother, it won't answer you" she said with a disgusted tone
James held the phone up and asked his question
"Seri...where is the nearest Japanese restaurant?"
They waited for a second before the phone answered
"That would be Wagamama Japanese restaurant, would you like directions?" it asked
"Yes please" he replied as he watched the screen for the directions to appear
M leaned over his shoulder and glared first at the phone and then at James, before she angrily turned and stormed out of the office
"See, all you have to do is ask nicely" he said with a laugh
~FIN~