Lies and impertinent feelings.
The four words hissed in Dana's mind like some kind of angry panther; the beast in the back of her mind. An unpleasant truth ticking away, ready to explode… explode… it already had.
Steam rose and condensed on the surface of the mirror, distorting the image within. Even the mirror wanted to pretend she didn't exist.
The bath bubbled away slowly to her right. She gave the silver a determined wipe and looked in the mirror with a kind of grim fascination. The face of a traitor, or a victim? Dana wasn't sure on either. Not anymore.
Deciding the mirror had suffered her gaze enough, she slipped off the rest of her clothes and descended into the depths of the water. The bubbles slowly cascaded over her, shielding both her body and mind from view; it felt like these were the only precious few minutes she ever had privacy, with no reporters or 'Braters' to bother her. 'Braters' was the name her and Chris had 'affectionately' given their families new enemies; a crude and simple amalgamation of Brody and haters.
Not that they were the real problem. Her father had already ruined her life; the Braters just made it even worse. She'd already been essentially forced out of school from the remarks and harassment of both the public and her peers, forced off Facebook by the betrayal of her so-called 'friends'. Plus the recurrent bricks through her window hadn't really helped.
Fuck you, Dad.
Had it been her fault?
She cast her mind back, trying desperately to remember the facts; what had it been, over two hundred people dead in that bombing? Even more?
I knew all along, I knew all along and I never told anyone…
It was true, all of it; it had made sense. It had been the only thing that had made sense in these recent months, but she just hadn't believed it; she hadn't wanted to believe it.
Dana shook her head, as she remembered it hadn't been the first time she'd had these suspicions; though that had been because of that crazy CIA lady. Carrie, wasn't it? Crazy Carrie. The woman who had fucked her dad, showed up mere days later to proclaim he was a terrorist, then suddenly started fucking her dad again.
Post-accusations-of-treason sex. Well, at least it was original.
What was it about people called Carrie? Dana fondly remembered reading that one, and at that point in time, she personally felt telekinetic powers wouldn't go amiss. That, or the power to go back in time.
She remembered how she hadn't believed her, remembered the police tackling the woman down, but some part of her had always had some form of doubt. Some part of her had been dreading that, god forbid, that crazy woman had been right; and the deaths would then possibly be on Dana's hands, especially after she'd decided to keep her fathers sudden switch to Islam a secret.
She tutted to herself quietly. That was a bad thing to think; she knew better than anyone that extremists didn't speak for everyone. But that sudden and radical switch might have hinted in at least some way to her father's possible brain-washing in captivity. Maybe he could have got help?
But no. She'd believed him. That this was all because religion was the only place he'd been able to find hope. Nick Brody had lied to his own daughter and dragged her into his fucked-up world, just like he had the entire nation.
Thankfully, he hadn't blown himself up. Not that day, anyway. Dana had even phoned him, just to ease her own fears and he'd assured her he wasn't.
He'd been crying when he was on the phone to her. She'd found that odd, but she'd rationalised that it was just due to seeing the Gaines woman shot right before his eyes; and the fact that his own friend, Tom Walker, was the one behind it all. Foolish girl.
Then he'd been elected as running man for Congressman Walden, and everything had really gone to shit. CIA safehouses, lies and a total upheaval and detonation of their old, simple life had simply completed his great and long con.
Worst part was, for one glorious moment in those days, there had been one shining hope; Finn. At first she'd found him an arrogant, posh and pompous dick; but as she'd got to know him, she realised that she'd been completely right, but there was actually a sweet guy there.
Then things had got complicated. She didn't want to remember him for that though. She wanted to remember him as the sweet guy who had once showed her the heights of the Washington monument, the boy who had made her laugh, the boy she'd… loved? It was a weird word, and not one she was fond of saying.
Then he'd died.
Tears began to well behind her eyes, and the floodgates finally opened. Everything that had happened since her father, the once great sergeant Nicholas Brody, had returned from his absence hit her in force; the lies, the death and the deceit.
Finally, she decided it was time.
She couldn't do this anymore. Truthfully, she'd given up some time ago.
"See ya later guys,"
Those would be the final words she would ever say to her Mom and Chris. Dana had thought of saying something a bit more poignant, even if it was just 'goodbye', but she didn't want them to feel like she had warned them; like they could have somehow prevented it.
Water cascaded off her as she climbed out of the bath and looked deep into the mirror.
She gave a deep stare into her own soul for one final time — the image of a scarred, but confident girl — before removing the mirror from its stand and smashing it with her bare foot. Blood began to seep out of her heel, and flowed across the bathroom floor, but she no longer cared.
Grabbing the biggest shard she could, she carried it with her back to the bath, before letting her mind and muscles relax.
One clean movement. One movement and it's over, Dana thought, desperately trying to steel herself for the next few moments.
The still steaming water was beginning to turn a slight hue of red from her cut foot; she closed her eyes, and brought the shard to rest against her left wrist. It was a welcome cold feeling.
For a few peaceful moments, she simply held it there, before emitting a large sigh of trepidation.
One swipe, one swipe, that's all it takes, she told herself. 3…2…1…. Now!
Her hand trembled meekly, but did nothing. Damn it.
3…2…1… now!
Still nothing.
The tears continued to flow. She couldn't do it.
She was a coward. She thought of all the people she'd known, all the bad times that had happened and all the bad times that were yet to come, but she still lacked the resolve. Then her thoughts strayed back to her life, to that stupid picture of the whole family that had been circulating around the papers, to Finn, to her dad-
She swiped.
It was a peculiar feeling. Dana had to open her eyes once again to see whether she'd actually been successful, but within moments all became clear.
The reddening of the water had become much faster, only now it was being contributed to from two sources; her foot and her slashed wrist.
Dana had expected pain. She'd expected it to be unbearable, for it to be a climactic kind of pain.
But it didn't hurt. Not anymore.
There was a slight stinging sensation, but little more to suggest her life was slowly flowing out of her body at a colossal rate, the speeding up of her heart only amplifying matters.
Somehow, she had become totally numb to the pain. Was that even possible? Maybe she just didn't care.
As her mind began to slip out of consciousness, somewhere in the depths she thought she could hear a frantic knocking in the background. Was someone shouting her name?
"Dad?"
Her head slipped below the water's surface, and Dana Brody knew no more.
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So... yeah. That was fun!
I know I'm in the minority, but I was always fond of Dana as a character on the show. Not really sure why, but I suppose I always had sympathy for her as a character; pre-season 3 Dana, anyway. In any case, when I saw what had happened in the inter rim of the two seasons, I wanted to try and bridge that gap. Hence this one-shot.
As usual, give a review if you enjoyed it, and give a review if you hated it! Feedback is always awesome!
Finally, if you remotely enjoyed this work, please check out my fantasy novel 'Ex Vita Abire' by 'A.J. Parkes' on the Kindle store. It would be really helpful if you could, and I'd love you forever and we could have fan-fiction babies* and what-not ^_^
*If its a girl, its called Francesqa. There is no negotiation ;)