KISE RYOUTA

I am Kise Ryouta, 20 years old, a University student and a part-time model who loves to play basketball. I am carefree, flamboyant, and outgoing. I live in a 2LDK apartment in Tokyo with Aominecchi given that we attend the same university and since then… I started to crave for Aominecchi's touch.

Don't get me wrong though, I have been fond with him since middle school. I adore his strong personality and got captivated by his astounding talent in basketball. But I guess I was still young and innocent at that time, I didn't feel the lust that I didn't expect would gradually consume my body right now. I wouldn't have been in trouble though, even when that happened, only if the feelings I am harboring over him were requited back to me.

You see, from the time when the two of us got close in middle school, I was driven to the thought that we were having the so-called "mutual understanding" that most people need to have before they step into a romantic relationship. I thought Aominecchi likes me as I like him back and both of us were just waiting for the right time in which no one actually knows when. High school came and we went to different schools. I got preoccupied and almost get depressed with the idea that maybe I was mistaken with his feelings for me up until he called me one day after our inter-high match. I, then, felt it again – the unspoken affection that we dole out together. We decided to share an apartment after a while as we both choose the same University to go to. All these were like an undeclared fairytale of mine as things started feeling like I am walking on cloud nine. Until…

"Oy, Kise." He called, idling on the couch.

"Yes, Aominecchi?"

"You will be having a photoshoot tonight, right? Or will you be free?"

The thought that he asked if I will be free made my ears popped, my body frozen, and my heart skipped a beat. I was usually busy, with all my modelling duties these past few months but I can squeeze out my time free for him and so I was all ready to say that to him excitedly when he cut me off of my words with his.

"I will be bringing a girl here tonight." He pause "We attend the same class. It's fine with you, right?"

Ahhh… So I really was mistaken.

I remembered when my mouth went dry, my lips turned pale. I couldn't manage to look at him straight so I just remained facing the television show I am watching a while back. I felt a clenching feeling in my chest as if my heart was about to self-destruct when he uttered those words way back then. I didn't think much of it before but it's starting to all make sense that everything that happened were all just a great delusion that I crafted inside my mind. How funny though cause every sparkle of his blue eyes every time he meets mine and the butterflies filling my gut seemed so real or maybe because of the fact that it was too real that it's harder for it to be true. I guess that my supposed "mutual understanding" when I was young and naïve were all just a huge "misunderstanding".

I so wanted to cry back then, but I wouldn't. Why would I? No matter how much happiness I lose right now, even if the fact that I couldn't be with Aominecchi, I at least still have my pride, no? Hence, I suppressed it. Bottle it all up inside me with all that I can and replace it with the most teasing and playful smile I could gather up from my system.

And from then on, I started to hide under the covers of my disguise. Every day, Aominecchi continues to bring different girls in the apartment. Afternoon after classes 'til the last train arrives, they'll stay inside his room. During weekends, when classes aren't present, he'll bring a girl Saturday morning and I will rolled out of my bed early Sunday Morning to be woken up by him and her flirting noisily near my room. Well I must admit though, because I started to crave for his touch, I was always drowning in jealousy and of course, I hate it. So then, I remained oblivious of the fact that Aominecchi, together with the different girls he brings, has been doing stealthy and crafty stuff inside his bedroom for about one whole day. I don't want to conclude things but I am not a five-year old kid that doesn't have any clue what does his mom and his dad doing inside their room every night. Rather, I am a stupid, laughable, adult that cowardly closes my door to the painful reality.

And then one day, the painful reality itself knocked on my own door.

AOMINE DAIKI

I am Aomine Daiki, 20 years old, a University student who loves to play basketball. They say I am lazy, arrogant, and has a short temper, but well, not like I really care much about it. I live in a 2LDK apartment in Tokyo with Kise given that we attend the same university and since then… I started to lose control of my restraints from Kise's touch.

Don't get me wrong though, I have been fond with him since middle school. I adore his delightful presence and got captivated by his jovial attitude, though I must admit, I reacted the opposite to hide my embarrassing admiration towards him. I guess, as puberty started hitting me, I was pretty perverted back then. I found myself in the middle of my room panting hard after reaching my climax towards a medium-sized magazine where Kise Ryouta's good-looking face was featured.

I confess, I felt ashamed of myself at that time. I thought I was weird for falling in-love with a guy and, more so, jerking off on his picture like a freaking pervert. However, I couldn't help but get caught by his unintentional traps, like his irrevocable smile that silently says hello to you whenever he flashes it, his sexy lips that pouts every time I tease, and his charisma that won't easily wear off, that lure people to get attracted to him. More and more I was enticed by his charms that I can't seem to get enough of it. I can't get enough of him. And yet this detestable mortification that I carry within me eats my insides that even though I can't get enough of him, I can't seem to get more of him to satisfy myself.

I painstakingly suppressed my desire for the alluring blonde though since middle school, we both know that we both have a thing for each other. Well, I don't really know how to label us. We are not lovers nor are we just friends. I know, myself, that I fell in-love with Kise and I cannot really assume that he loves me back for I know so well that he is the type to act so sweet and so kind to anyone, I guess, it's a model thing. Plus he didn't even mention a single thing about us except for one-on-ones, so we really didn't have the chance to make our relationship clear. High school came and we went to different schools. I didn't hear anything from him apart from the fact that he entered Kaijou and is still continuing his modelling career. Half of me that loves Kise couldn't help but get lonely of what happened to us while the other that feels ashamed of that part influenced my mind to just ignore everything. Up until the inter-high match happened and I just found myself calling him out to meet a few days later. Since that time, we became what we used to before- less than lovers but more than friends. We decided to share an apartment after a while as we both choose the same University to go to. And yes, my desires for him that I thought I had suppressed had divulged.

Eventually, I decided to bury down any shameful feelings as I realized I was becoming a hypocrite to my own love. I have a huge endearment and desire towards Kise and yet I feel so ashamed of it. I made up my mind to be open and true to my feelings and confess to him. However, chances and opportunities become difficult to achieve as he started becoming busy with his modelling career. He's often absent at classes and often not at home at the time he was supposed to be. I was a little discourage because of it and more often than not, I began over thinking which just doesn't fit me at all. I know so well that if I had faced my true feelings for him, I'd be like this and though I know, I must admit I am not practically ready to confront it. I became afraid that I might get hurt if Kise doesn't really like me as what I have thought. I settled then with the decision to test him if he really was in-love with me. To see if I was mistaken with Kise's feelings for me.

"I will be bringing a girl here tonight."

I felt my heart thumping fast and my palm earning sweats as those words slipped out of my mouth. I managed to hide my nervousness within me with a casual tone I usually use in cases like this. He didn't say anything and so I continued speaking…

"We attend the same class... It's fine with you, right?" My voice broke off a little at the end of my question as the tension inside heightens; good thing Kise is just too dumb to realize it or maybe he was just too busy with the stupid T.V. show he was watching a while back.

"Oy, answer me, Kise." Feeling the anticipation dwelling inside me and impatience I always had, I called out to him.

And when he finally faced me with his routine-like cheerful smile he flashes to every person he has to deal with, he teasingly said…

"Heh. Finally going out with a girl, huh? Sure, Aominecchi. Go ahead."

Shit. So I really was mistaken.

I remembered when my mouth went dry, my lips turned pale. I didn't see any of the slightest hint of jealousy or reluctance or any despicable expression when I tried to search for it on his face. I felt a clenching feeling in my chest as if my heart was about to self-destruct when he uttered those words way back then. I knew I was right in not assuming things, I knew I was right in testing him out first, and I knew I was right in expecting a great surge of pain after finding out his answer to my question.

The twinge in my heart that can't seem to ease out became like a torture. It became a nuisance I so wanted to get rid of; however, I don't have any ways to do it so unless I learned to ignore it again just like I did before. Well, I disclose the fact that tears attempted to wet my eyes but I wouldn't. Why would I? No matter how much happiness I lose right now, even if the fact that I couldn't be with Kise, I at least still have my pride, right? Hence, I suppressed it. Bottle it all up inside me with all that I can and replace it with the most indifferent and uncaring face I could gather up from my system.

And from then on, I started to hide under the covers of my disguise. And because I started to lose control of my restraints for him, I found out a way to satisfy myself. Every day, I always bring different girls in the apartment. Though I cannot really say that I was satisfied, but I, at least, resort to my fantasies every time I am doing it with a girl. Afternoon after classes 'til the last train arrives, we'll stay inside my room. During weekends, when classes aren't present, I'll bring a random girl Saturday morning and I will intentionally wake Kise up early Sunday Morning by flirting with the same girl noisily at the place near his room. I act as if I don't give even the tiniest bit of damn attention to him, in front him. Though I know that I am bringing all those girls that I don't actually love to make him drown in jealousy. But never did he once bat an eyelash to it, never did he once show concern about it, never did he once feel envious about it.

Ha-ha! I'm so miserable.

KISE RYOUTA

The painful reality itself knocked on my own door.

These past few months, I've been too busy with my daily magazine photoshoots, low-budget movie filming, and recent T.V. interviews. So I always go home late and rarely eat a healthy set of meal every day; however, this time was different. I actually don't want to go home early today for I know Aominecchi will be bringing another girl today but my manager insisted that I should for I don't look very well. Truth be told, aside from feeling smothered by my own jealousy whenever he and his girl was around, I feel like vomiting cause my head feels like it was being cracked open and the surroundings is spinning around me. I took some over-the-counter medicine I bought before going home and laid down on the couch in the living room without turning on the lights.

A few hours later, I was woken up by the sound of the door slamming shut. I know it was just Aominecchi and, most probably, another random girl he met at University, so I just remained my eyes close and wait for him to find out I was resting here. I actually had the intention of acting like I was feeling so sick, though I must admit that I had been feeling better now since I woke up, to find out if he would truly give a damn about me. It may even be a way to have Aominecchi take care of me and let the girl go home instead to avoid the strange thing that was about to happen again inside his room.

But, I suddenly heard a trifling sound of the girl giggling her way out as Aominecchi seemed like mumbling something. This was followed by the rustling noise of clothes being shifted restlessly. This instantly made my eyes wide open as I have a clue what was going to happen from then on. I felt my heart giving another shot of clenching feeling that I so much contempt. I know what this two was about to do and I don't want to be a spectator to this puny, little, show that will disgust me to no attempt.

Thus, without further ado, I began finding my way too escape from this awkward situation without getting noticed. I rose from the couch and attempted to run towards my room quickly and silently but before I could stand on my two feet, I, without a thought, took a peek at the two and I was frozen then by the scene that stood before my eyes.

"Hnnn…." The girl with an evident blonde hair in the dark moaned as I saw her head twisting from left to right in correspond with Aominecchi.

The unpleasant scenes gave a horrendous feeling on my gut. It's nauseating how I am witnessing everything with my own two eyes. They say that Ignorance is Bliss, well I guess, I can't ignore it anymore? I guess I now have the confirmation what Aominecchi and the girls he brings were doing inside his room. I guess, I can't be a stupid, laughable, adult that cowardly closes my door to the painful reality anymore because the painful reality itself happened right in front of my open door.

Anguished enveloped everything. I sensed an excruciating sorrow on my chest, like my heart was about to burst. I felt my knees trembling and I fell back on the couch with the feeling of dying inside. Cuddling myself like a baby, my vision gradually started to blur and slowly, a tiny bead of tear dropped down from my eyes.

AOMINE DAIKI

Ha-ha! I'm so miserable.

I've been doing this act for about a few months already. I've been running out of blonde girls that looks very like you to bring inside my room and yet there you are, not even interested with all these shits I've been desperately pulling to get your attention. Ugh, how can you even be more stupid though, Kise? Don't you noticed the things that are similar to every girl I brought in?

You never did once slipped off of my mind, but I never did once stayed inside yours. Cause if I did, you will immediately cry like a baby, put together a cute pout on your face, and complaint non-stop just like what you always do, just like what I always wanted you to do.

I opened the door to my apartment. Sigh. The lights were off again. It means no one's around. I wish Kise was here though so he will see again that I had another girl with me. I entered slowly inside but was startled when she playfully pushed me inside and slam the door behind her.

"What the - "

She giggled as she aggressively drove me into the wall and swiftly pulled on my tie. She didn't say anything but she continued to giggle like the giggle I heard from Kise before. Ahhh… yes.

I closed my eyes and went back to the fantasy I've been fabricating inside my mind every time I am making out with a girl that I just hooked up with because she reminds me of Kise. Every part of their body that I delve in, every strands of blonde hair that I tangled my fingers into, and every thrusts I shove into them; I imagined it all belongs to you and it was you.

She roughly unbutton my shirt as she dig into my neck with seducing kisses. She tends to be insistent with her moves and quite aggressive with her kisses. I bet Kise is not like that.

"Hey…" I was about to tell her off but the giggling sounds that she made reminds me so much of the blonde guy I love so much. And so… "Keep giggling…"

"You love my giggles, huh." She mumbled followed by another giggle that felt like it echoed into my ears and pretty face of Kise flashed on my head.

And then things became hazy as my mind started flying into my make-believe scenes inside my head. I don't even know what she has already been doing to me but whatever it was, all I do is imagine it was my beloved. My… "Kise."

What? Did I just say it out loud?

I opened my eyes in surprised and I found the girl in the same state too. Though not towards me… not towards what I said… but towards the blonde guy that is seating at the couch, with an evident proof of flustered expression and wet tears on his face.

"Ao… minecchi… Did you just… called my name?" He asked, turning red after a while.

Ahhh shit... you should've shown me that kind of expression and asked me that kind of question earlier.

And then I felt my heart about to burst again but this time out of delight cause I realized we are both standing on the same ground.