Title: Unexpected Consequences

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Ban and Ginji decide they aren't getting enough attention from the ladies, and Ban has a plan… SLASH! Future BanGinji, present JuubeiKazuki

Notes: Chapter is rewritten. Hopefully it doesn't look like crap any more. I'm sorry that I took out "There's no one I'd rather be gay with!", because so many people liked that line, but it didn't fit in the rewrite.

"Why do girls hate us, Ban-chan?" Ginji asked quietly after being slapped (once again) by a girl he didn't know for trying to pick her up. Despite their attempts, neither he nor Ban had gone on a date in… well, neither of them could remember the last time.

"Maybe they hate you," Ban replied, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. If he was completely honest with himself, he would admit that Ginji was right. It seemed that their approach just wasn't working. But how? How could two single studs like themselves not attract attention?

"You haven't been having any luck lately either," Ginji replied.

"...I just haven't seen a girl that was hot enough. I could have anyone, if I was really trying," Ban scowled, opening the car door. This, too, was a lie. Some of the girls who had ignored his advances were downright gorgeous, and he had been trying his hardest. Especially that gorgeous blonde…

"What are you talking about? Don't you remember yesterday at the Honky Tonk?" Ginji asked with a sadistic smile. "There was that really cute blond girl-"

Ban clenched his fist. If Ginji wasn't his best friend…

"-and you tried talking to her, but then she went over and asked out Kazu-chan! And it's not like it's the first time something like that has happened." Ginji continued, undeterred by the angry look on his partner's face.

"What do they see in that damn Ito-maki?" Ban asked. Perhaps the biggest injustice in the world was the fact that girls flocked to Kazuki. He didn't even have to try. Meanwhile, men like himself and Ginji used every technique they knew, and still got laughed at.

"Girls have always liked Kazu-chan, even when we were still in VOLTS. Of course Kazuki never even thought about it, he just let them down gently," Ginji replied thoughtfully.

"He doesn't even look like a real man!" Ban scowled. Between his complete lack of understanding of Kazuki's appeal and his inability to find a place to park for the night, he was becoming more and more frustrated.

"Ban-chan, that's mean!" Ginji whined.

"You thought it too, when we were at the hot springs!" Ban replied, defensively. The more he thought about it, the less it made sense. Why would such a feminine looking man get so much attention from women? He found himself becoming more confused than annoyed.

"Maybe a little bit, but Ban-chan-"

"Why does he always bring that damn porcupine with him everywhere, anyway? And on a trip to the hot springs… If I didn't know any better I'd think they were…" Ban trailed off. He knew what he was saying was totally ridiculous, but really, what business did two men have, being that close if they weren't involved?

"You'd think they were what?" Ginji asked innocently.

"You know…" Ban sighed. He really hoped he didn't have to explain the concept of homosexuality to Ginji.

"No I don't. Tell me Ban-chan!" Ginji cried, tugging on Ban's arm.

"Ah! Get off of me! Can't you see I'm driving, you idiot?" Ban yelled.

"Oops. Anyway, you'd think they were what?" Ginji said, completely ignoring Ban's insult.

"Gay." Ban said, glancing at Ginji, trying to gauge his reaction. It wasn't anything they'd ever talked about, and he had no idea what Ginji's opinion on the matter was.

"Um…" Ginji started. He coughed.

Ban continued driving for a few minutes before he looked over at Ginji. He raised an eyebrow.

"Well…" Ginji trailed off.

"No!" Ban shouted, slamming his foot down on the brake pedal. The realization had hit him like a bullet. It suddenly seemed so obvious. How could he not notice that they were always together, that they were always watching out for each other? Hell, they lived in the same apartment where they probably had kinky mansex every night. The more he thought about it, the clearer it all became.

"I thought you knew." Ginji looked at him sheepishly.

"How the hell was I supposed to know if no one told me?" Ban fumed, although he suddenly felt like an idiot.

"Have you- I mean the way they act-did you think they were just being friendly?" Ginji asked, surprised. Ban ignored him.

Ban suddenly heard honking behind them and started driving again. He felt a dull ache in his temples. It all made perfect sense. Sure, it made sense that Kazuki would care for his childhood friend, but they really didn't need to spend that much time with each other. The smile that Kazuki never gave anyone but Juubei, Juubei's drive to protect Kazuki… it was so obvious. It was suddenly clear why Kazuki turned all the girls down. All of their attention was completely wasted. But of course, when the girls were there Juubei was usually there too. Shouldn't the girls understand? They always sat so close…

Suddenly, his thoughts became much clearer. Of course girls liked Kazuki. He was always dressed so neatly, he showed such compassion towards his blind friend. But could it really be that? Women didn't like sensitive men. What if they knew he was gay? Men love lesbians, he realized. There was nothing hotter than knowing that a woman had been involved with another woman. It's like a woman sandwich. Double your pleasure! So of course…

"Ginji, I think I have an idea," Ban said suddenly. Surprised, Ginji turned to him.

"What?"

"I think I know why girls like Kazuki."

"Why?" Ginji asked.

"Guys love lesbians. It only makes sense that girls would like gay guys," Ban replied. Ginji dtill looked confused. "Haven't you ever noticed how well yaoi sells?"

"I… I never thought of it that way," Ginji replied. It all seemed so reasonable. "It seems like such a waste."

"But what if there were guys who only pretended to be gay, just to get girls?" Ban asked. His plan was becoming clearer and clearer.

"Then… then they'd get all the girls!" Ginji replied. Why hadn't men thought of this before? It was completely foolproof! "Ban… we should be those guys! Nut… but where would we find two guys willing to play along?"

Ban raised his eyebrow. He didn't think Ginji was that idiotic.

"There are already two of us," Ban stated. He was going to need more cigarettes; this was already stressful, and they hadn't even begun.

Ginji contemplated this for a few seconds before turning to Ban.

"B-Ban-chan!" Ginji replied, alarmed.

"What?" Ban snapped.

"But you're.. you're you! You're my best friend; that'd be gross!" Ginji cried. He loved Ban, but not like that. He couldn't imagine anything more awkward.

"Would you prefer find some pervert off the streets? I'm sure Akabane would be willing," Ban replied. He knew he had Ginji there. The other boy froze.

"How could you even suggest that?" Ginji said, an accusatory look in his eyes. Ban certainly knew the easiest ways to press his buttons. "I guess it'll have to be you."

"I don't like it either, but it'll work." Ban replied. His stomach was suddenly feeling strange. He probably should have tried to find something to eat at the club.

"Let's do it," Ginji said, suddenly "Let's go back to that bar and-"

"We can't yet!" Ban sighed, exasperated. It was just like Ginji to try and rush into things without planning first. "We need to practice first."

"Practice?"

"I mean really, who would believe we were gay? We've got to learn how to act gay first."

"That is pretty ridiculous," Ginji said with a grin. Ban couldn't agree with him more.

"Exactly. After wooing the ladies for so long we can't just switch. We need to practice so the act is believable." Ban said.

"Definitely," Ginji replied. Ban parked the car. "But how are we supposed to learn how to act gay?"

"Like I'd know. Maybe we should do some… observation," Ban said. He hadn't really thought ahead that far.

"But where are we going to find two gay people?" Ginji asked. It wasn't like it was exactly common, or anything.

Ban raised his eyebrow.

"Oh…"

End of Chapter One