I'm Not That Girl
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Special Appearance: "I'm Not That Girl" from the Broadway Musical Production: Wicked.
Synopsis: Rose's feelings/thoughts when she realizes that it's very possible that the Doctor loves Reinette when he charges out without a second thought to save her. I'm changing this so much! In The Girl In The Fireplace, Rose and the Doctor don't have the conversation we all wish they would have… so I'll try it in this… and so I will say… Will he tell her differently?
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Rose remembered watching as the Doctor broke the glass in France.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence,
sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl
He had ridden through without a second thought… without so much a goodbye hug. Did he ever think of her at all?
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
She tried not to think of what might have happened with them. Of how far their relationship could have gone and still can go. He obviously didn't feel the same way about her… his recklessness showed that… and the sad expression he had on his face when she was gone.
Ev'ry so often
We long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
It hurt; to see him care for someone else… she obviously wasn't the one for him. She wondered if he would have dumped her somewhere if Reinette had come along. It stung, to see him happy with someone else.
She snapped out of her reverie when there was a knock on her door. She paused the music and stood from where she had sat on her bed, wiping furiously at the tears on her cheeks that had come when she listened to this song.
"Come in," she called hoarsely, and coughed to clear her throat.
The door swung open and the Doctor entered, a concerned look on his face. "Rose, you okay?"
"Um, yeah. Just listening to music," she replied, nodding slightly. The Doctor frowned.
"You've been crying," he mentioned, stepping closer.
"No… just… I'm getting a cold, that's all," Rose replied quickly, moving quickly away from the Doctor.
"Rose," he whispered. Rose looked up.
"What?" she asked him, somewhat nervously.
"What's wrong?" he asked back.
"Nothing," she insisted. "Nothing at all."
"I don't believe you," he told her.
"It doesn't matter if you believe me or not."
"Sure it does." He frowned. "Is it Mickey?"
"No," she replied quickly.
"Oh."
There was an uncomfortable moment between them.
"What are you listening to?" the Doctor finally asked.
"Music," Rose replied, non-committal.
"What kind?"
"I only know one."
"I see," he responded slowly, a frown still etched in his handsome face.
Suddenly in one smooth motion he reached over and pressed 'play' on the CD player before Rose could stop him. A soft, heart broken voice came floating over the speakers.
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl
Rose quickly stepped over and was about to press 'stop', but the Doctor stopped her. "Let me listen," he said. Rose let him reluctantly.
Don't wish; don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl.
The song ended, and Rose stood there for a minute longer, looking regretfully at the door to freedom, that the Doctor had shut when he had entered.
"Rose," the Doctor began, and Rose sunk down onto the edge of her bed, not looking up at him. "Is this why you were crying?"
Rose didn't say anything, and the Doctor took that as a yes.
"Oh, Rose – " suddenly, by surprise, she was swept in his arms, being held gently and firmly. His chin gently rested on the top of her head. "I can read between the lines," he whispered, and her head shot up, gently knocking his chin.
Her half hurtful and surprised gaze must have given him encouragement, for while he gently cradled her against his chest, he leaned down and sweetly kissed her.
"Oh Rose… my love… you are that girl," he whispered holding her close.
Rose's eyes widened as a loving smile bloomed on her face. She tucked her arms round him as she hugged him back… the guy of her dreams.