Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
THE AKATSUKI'S DICTIONARY
"Naruto, be at Ichiraku's in ten minutes. I'm waiting for you."
"On it! Is it a date, Sakura-chan?"
"Ugh, just get your butt down here."
Sakura drummed her fingers rhythmically on the wooden tabletop at Ichiraku Ramen's, the other hand supporting her chin. It had been exactly eight minutes since her conversation with Naruto at his front door, and considering the guy he was, he should have bolted for here. But then again, he was the most unpredictable ninja in the whole village.
Nine minutes, she thought. He should be here in like…
The blonde burst through the separating drapes of the shop and stopped to catch his breath, bracing his hands against his knees. He was wearing the same T-shirt she had seen him in before.
…zero seconds.
"What, did you run a marathon in these eight minutes?" Sakura asked skeptically as Naruto plopped himself on the seat beside her.
"An old lady got in the way," came the reply, but the innocence on his face was a bit overdone as he continued quickly, "Is anything wrong?"
Sakura narrowed her eyes at him, and then shrugged, letting it go. Acting weird, it was still Naruto after all. "No, nothing's wrong. Anyways, remember this?"
She held up a leather-bound black notebook with a flourish from her lap. Naruto's eyes widened as he remembered how they had gotten their hands on it. According to him, Kabuto Yakushi had handed him that book concerning collected information about the secret organization, Akatsuki, on one of their missions.
"As a token of gratitude," Kabuto had said.
"What about it?"
"Let's take a look at it while our order arrives," Sakura said, as she placed the book on the table for both of them.
"You ordered?"
"You're paying."
"Sakura-Chan!"
But Sakura just opened the book at its front page. There was a handmade illustration of a miniature Anbu sign on it, nothing special. However, the next pages were filled with academic-looking text all over them. While being served with hot ramen and pork slices, Sakura and Naruto began to read.
Akatsuki: bunch of s-ranked criminals, wear black cloaks, coordination of nail polish colors, intention of taking over the world (as if) See also gay, killers
Pain: leader, student of a legendary sannin, facial piercings, planner of world domination a.k.a peace in his sense See also Nagato
Sasori: puppeteer, human puppet maker, insanely young, irritable guy who hates waiting. See also Hiruko, weird, red sand
Deidara: artist, bomber, three mouths (two in hands) See also creepy, big mouth, explosive clay, feminism
Hidan: religious nut, immortal jerk, swear words, sadist, masochist, long-range fighter See also big mouth number two, annoying laugh, brainless
Kakuzu: heart-stealer, five hearts, loaded, infatuation with money See also hairy, super-creepy, bounties
Konan:, student of a legendary sannin, origami user, hopeful See also white flower
Zetsu: white zetsu, black zetsu, can change appearance at will, camouflage See also Venus flytrap
Kisame: ridiculous chakra, water-style user, shark man See also hybrid, great fin sword
Uchiha Itachi: one of last Uchihas, quiet, great illusionist, polite, killed his whole family, pacifist, patriot See also sharingan user, feminism, Uchiha Sasuke
Orochimaru: legendary sannin, pedophile, serpent, experimenter, cursed seal See also Michael Jackson, homosexual
Nagato: redhead, rinnegan user, bridge to peace aka false hope, See also Uzumaki, story of a gutsy ninja, Pain
Uchiha Sasuke: self-centered, power-lover, sharingan user, one of last Uchihas, Uchiha descendant, foolish, naive, badass See also proud, cold, ladies' man
Tobi: mask man, strong, one sharingan, incredibly dumb often See also Obito, Ten-Tails
Ring: very important, different colors, mark in akatsuki See also Kanji
Cloak: very important, black with red cloud pattern, hiding place See also mantle
Jinchuriki: unfortunate hosts of beasts, sources of power See also Seal, weapon
Bijuu: tailed beast, pain in the necks, hard to contain, world domination mission See also Akatsuki, Pain
Tsunade: legendary sannin, incredibly hot, Medical Nin, blood trauma, Godaime Hokage See also big boobs, short-tempered, slug princess
Jiriaya: legendary sannin, pervert who likes peeping in hot springs, porn-writer, toad sage See also goofball, Pain, Konan, three prohibitions for shinobi
Naruto Uzumaki: Jiriaya's apprentice, unpredictable, knucklehead, hyperactive, nine-tail fox spirit, first one to start screaming and yelling See also Jinchuriki, idiot
"That's it!" Naruto cried when he found out his meaning in the akatsuki dictionary. "Don't go further, that's just loony stuff written by a loon!"
Sakura's knuckles hit him hard on his forehead, raising a red bump. "You idiot, we didn't even make it to the end."
"I don't believe any of it! Who the hell would write such a – a …"
"Up-to-date dictionary?" Sakura said smugly. "I don't, either. But I have a clue to who has written it. And it's certainly not Kabuto."
Maybe it was good Sakura didn't progress further, or he was sure she would have read on something that would trigger the same expression as Naruto:
Haruno Sakura: Tsunade's apprentice, selfish, nice ass, Medical Nin, ugly, whore See also short-tempered, Sasuke fangirl Uchiha babies, Sasuke's future wife, Sakura's dream
He hoped Sakura wouldn't find out that he actually misplaced Kabuto's Akatsuki handbook after reading it , with his own unfinished copy.
But since he could spy Sakura and Naruto rushing over to his house from his window, all Sai could do was hope for the best and thank his lucky stars she had left it at that.
I wrote this a long time ago so it might not be uptodate with the anime, so.
R&R?