Blue, Orange, and Green
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A/N: Alright, I finally convinced myself to write this. This will be – by far – the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. I will be pairing my female OC with Sans. I've never written straight romance/porn before, and I've never written a story pairing my OC with a canon character, nor have I ever attempted to change a universe as it is known. Please keep that in mind as you read. Also, I will not continue this unless I get comments/questions/constructive criticism. Think of it as payment. That being said, let's get started!
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Chapter 1: Orange
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What do you call a guy who falls in love?
Screwed.
Sans knew better than to do so. After all, what was the point? The time, energy, money, and of course the resets. The way these bums that sit next to him at the bar talk about it; the one talks about not being able to find it while the other complains about his wife of 25 years… it just seemed exhausting, hell he was sleepy just thinking about it. He yawned and downed another shot of ketchup. Nah, no romance for the Sans. Just admiring from afar and jerkin' it every once in a while was enough (maybe a one night stand if he was lucky).
"Jeez, it's fucking COLD out there!" Shouted a deep, woman's voice after the door to Grillby's was opened. Everyone turned to see who it was, including Sans, since the voice was hauntingly familiar to him. The guys in the bar hooted and whistled, seeing this new, beautiful monster at the door, shivering and taking off her coat. Sans' eyes blacked out and his breath hitched. It was her, alright. The one he'd been admiring from afar.
She goes by the name… Venus. She's 5 foot 5 inches with beautiful orange skin, dirty blonde hair and ruby, reptilian eyes. She has tiny, swirly horns that pointed upwards just above her forehead, and a two-foot long wispy tail with a heart-shaped point at the end, poking out between a tight-fitting long-sleeved shirt and jeans. She's hourglass-shaped, voluptuous, and gorgeous. And holy shit, is she funny as hell. She works at a theatre in New Home where they do all kinds of stuff: plays, musicals, singing, dancing, comedy and improv, and she's involved in all of that. Sans caught an improv show and was impressed by how funny she was. They even get to be on TV sometimes, when Mettaton allows it. Her theatre is nowhere near as popular as he is, unfortunately.
But Sans actually knows Venus from before seeing her on stage, from what feels like a long time ago. Yet he doubts she would have ever seen him before. Honestly, he wasn't sure if it was the same woman. She looked very different than she did then, but she did act the same… who knows? Shit becomes blurry after so many resets.
"Alright, bring it all in!" Venus said, holding the door open for some monsters as they brought in stage and sound equipment. "I'm gonna go talk business with the boss." Her boots clacked on the wood floor as she came up to the bar and sat in the stool right next to Sans.
"Hello, you must be Venus." Grillby put down the glass he was cleaning and shook her hand. Wow, she bit her nails; Sans never noticed that before. "I'm Grillby. It's nice to meet you."
"Same, and thanks for letting us perform here. Tryin' to draw new audience members to our little theatre, you know."
"huh? you never said anything about this to me, grillbz." Sans acted like he was the fire-man's partner or something.
"It's on the billboard, Sans." Grillby pointed to it. It sure was, and it was big enough to read from where he was sitting.
"oh, i never look at that thing." Sans shrugged. "still, that's pretty cool. i'm actually a fan of yours, kiddo."
"You are?!" Venus was honestly surprised. "Didn't know I had any fans in Snowdin!" She smiled at the skeleton for a moment, but turned her attention back to Grillby, pulling a check and some money out of her pocket. "Here's our pay, and could you get me something hot to drink?"
"Sure, what would you like?"
"Do you have sake?"
"No, I'm afraid not."
"Oh… well I'll just have some Spicy Tea, please."
"Coming right up." Grillby went back to work, and Venus turned back to Sans.
"So, how do you know me? Live, TV…?"
"both." Sans gulped when he realized just how close she was and how much more beautiful she was up close. She gave him a fanged grin. "uh… my name is sans, by the way, sans the skeleton."
"It's nice to meet you." Venus held out her hand to shake Sans'. She had a strong grip, he noticed.
"Hey, V! What are ya doin' over there?" Yelled one of her associates from the corner of the bar. "Get over here and help us!"
"Yeah, like I know how to do that! Can't you see I'm talkin', here?" She yelled back. "Heh, sorry about that." Grillby returned with her tea. She thanked him and took a sip. She blew smoke out of her mouth as she sighed happily, the tea warming her up.
"i admire the way you avoid work." Sans smiled. "wish i could get away with that."
"Yeah? What is it you do, Sans?" Venus asked, taking another sip of tea.
"i'm a sentry in snowdin and waterfall." He replied. As he expected, she almost spit out her drink.
"R-Really?" She stuttered. "You don't seem like the kind of guy to work for 'the man'. Oh…" She remembered something. "Do you have a brother?"
"yeah, papyrus."
"Papyrus, that's it." Venus snapped her fingers. "Undyne told me about this skeleton she was training, and that his brother already works for her."
"work for her, huh?" Sans and Venus laughed at that. "how do you know undyne?"
"Ah, well…" Another awkward moment; more proof he was right about who she really is. "She's an old friend. We reconnected a few years ago. Still, I know she can be a hard-ass."
"yeah, she's a hard-ass… police offisher." He said a pun, though not his best work. Despite that, Venus burst out laughing.
"Oh, so you got some jokes, do ya?" She raised an eyebrow. "Let's here 'em, bone-boy."
"oh, well… puttin' me on the spot…" He blushed blue. "alright… knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"fish."
"Fish who?"
"cod bless you." Sans smiled. Venus giggled again.
"Let me tell you my favorite joke. Makes me laugh every time." She leaned closer to him. "What do you call a fish with no eyes?"
"what?"
"A fsh!" She laughed again and Sans followed suit. "Ha, but Undyne hates that joke cuz she's missing an eye herself!" They laughed again. "Ah, but I shouldn't be making fun of her. She's had a hard life, you know."
"haven't we all?" Sans said rather profoundly. Venus saw his eyes flicker with sad reminiscence and… foreboding? At the same time?
"You act as if… you know something I don't." She said calmly, looking down at him.
"V!" The associate called again. "Can her Majesty at least reserve our inn rooms, please?"
"Ugh, fine!" She shouted, finishing her tea and pulling out a pen from her back pocket. "I hope you'll come to one of our shows, Sans. Invite your brother, too! We'll do some music, some comedy, some musical comedy… and I'll be in town for a while, so I'd like to see you again, if I could." She grabbed a napkin and began writing on it. She's left-handed; he had forgotten that.
"what are you…?"
"I'm giving you something I know that you don't." Venus handed the napkin to him. "My number." He looked up at her confused. She smirked. "Call me."
"uh… s-sure." He blushed, looking down at the napkin like it was toxic. She turned on her heel and walked to the door, not forgetting to flip her bandmates off before leaving. Sans couldn't believe what just happened. Did he just have a conversation with the woman he revered for so long? And did she give him her fucking number? Why would she do that? And, more importantly… would he call her? She could just be fucking with him. And didn't he just get done internally soliloquizing how stupid it was to date people in this damned world?
Looks like he was screwed, after all.
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"SANS, THIS IS MARVELOUS! IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN TO A CONCERT!" Papyrus sat next to his brother at the bar later that night. "AND THIS GIRL, GIVING YOU HER NUMBER, THAT'S GREAT! SHE OBVIOUSLY WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!"
"sure, bro. friends…" Sans clenched the napkin that he had since put in his jacket pocket. He was all about jokes, but if this was one it sure as hell wasn't funny.
"I HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING SAD LATELY."
"sad, me?" Sans made his smile wider. "i think you're sadly mistaken."
"NO PUNS, BROTHER. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME!" Papyrus put his hands on his hips and shook his head. "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, KNOW MY SIBLING WELL, AND CAN FEEL YOUR SADNESS AND LONELINESS IN MY OWN SOUL!"
"don't you mean…"
"SANS, NO…"
"boneliness?"
"AUGH! NEVERMIND!" The tall skeleton's eyes bugged out of his skull. "JUST CALL HER. WHAT'S THE HARM IN THAT?" Papyrus had a point. Sans could just go along with whatever Venus had planned, whether it's friendship or more. It could be interesting, since he was bored and tired lately (Papyrus could be mistaking that for sadness and loneliness). So yeah, he could call her… maybe… at some point… The lights dimmed, and the band came up to the stage, with Venus at the center.
"What's up, Snowdin!" She said in the microphone. The audience lightly cheered. "You guys probably have no idea who we are. But that's okay, because no one else does either." The audience laughed. "We're the Kaijuu Theatre Company, or the KTC if you're nasty. We're located on Vastway Avenue in New Home. We do a little of everything: plays, music, comedy, and if you pay us enough, assassinations." More laughter this time. "Let's get started with one of those, shall we? Hopefully not the killing one." The band starts to play a pop song, and Venus spins and grabs the mic stand before starting to sing in a contralto voice. Wow, she can really sing. Can she possibly be more perfect? Honestly, Sans was probably thinking she was blind, giving a guy like him her number. Then, her eyes locked with his, and she grinned at him, swaying her hips and rubbing her hands slowly down the microphone stand. He nervously smiled, sneaking a look at Pap to see if he was paying attention, but he was just smiling and clapping his hands to the music. When he looks back, Venus is smiling at some other dude in the audience. Sans sighed. He really is reading too much into this.
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The show ended and it was a hit. The audience were excited to see others other than Mettaton on a stage for once. They crowded around her and her band, asking her questions and for her autograph. "THAT WAS SPLENDID!" Papyrus said. "I HAD FUN! DID YOU, BROTHER?"
"yeah, it was a riot." Sans agreed, losing Venus in the crowd.
"SHALL WE FIND VENUS AND CONGRATULATE HER?"
"eh, she's busy. Let's just go, i'm bone tired." Sans hopped off his barstool.
"YOU ARE GOING TO CALL HER, RIGHT SANS?" Pap narrowed his eyes. The little skeleton didn't answer. "IF YOU DON'T IT'D BE RUDE, YOU KNOW!"
"okay, i'll call her."
"YOU'D BETTER, OR I'LL BOTHER YOU ABOUT IT EVERYDAY UNTIL YOU DO!" Papyrus stood up, stomping his foot.
"i know you will." Sans sighed and left Grillby's with his bro, gripping at the napkin once again. He guessed he had no choice.
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A/N: Thanks for reading this so far, and please, PLEASE like and comment, especially comment. Any questions, I'm more than happy to answer. Like I said, this is slightly AU since this new character is added, and it will get smutty later!