Disclaimer: This is my first fanfic...do be easy on me, but do feel free to comment! (I do not own Inuyasha - just the imagination to come up with this story)
Warning! This is a work in progress...I promise to keep adding chapters accordingly, just be patient with me. Thanx! - 'giftedanimanga'
Introduction-
The story takes place a few months after Naraku had banished Kikyo into the miasma at the mountaintop. After this incident Kagome feelings for Inuyasha feel torn more than ever and her inabilities to understand how she feels for him grow stronger as the days continue on.
The group has been traveling for days and with each moment the group can begin to feel Inuyasha distancing himself from them. With Kikyo's unsightly death Kagome feels brushed aside when it comes to the love and affection she seeks so desperately from the hanyou. Feeling alone more than ever, Kagome dreads the day when the battle with Naraku ends and her unspoken feelings will leave her helpless.
Inuyasha has made it clear in the past with whom he's chosen to be with when the battle for the feudal era resides. His constant guilt for Kikyo's death has become a continuing reminder on why his heart and soul belongs to her.
Now Inuyasha spends his nights secretly searching for her while the others are completely oblivious. However, Kagome knows of his late night journeys to the ends of the earth but she doesn't bother to object, because whether or not she protests, she knows that he will go, she can expect that from him. The only thing that matters is that with every attempt to find her a part of Kagome hurts inside knowing that there isn't a true place for her in the feudal era, a true place beside Inuyasha.
For many attempts to put Inuyasha's and Kikyo's past behind her, the fact that her very being resembles that of Kikyo becomes a constant reminder of the hanyou's decision. Often times the young schoolgirl finds herself asking whether it's mere fascination or rather the "L" word. Kagome knows that she has never been in love before, so coming out and saying that she loves him just wouldn't seem right. So she found it best to cover up her feelings for the hanyou and continue on her journey by his side. In the end there may not be a place for her in the future, but at least she can enjoy the time she's spending with him and the others…for now.
Chapter 1
"Kagome makes a secret"
The sun slowly begins to rise along the horizon and the majestic glow slowly rises from under the forest, filling the morning sky in a soft orange blanket. The air was warm and the breeze was light, but the atmosphere among the group was silent and slightly awkward.
They had been traveling for two days on their way back to Kaede's village before taking rest in a clearing. The morning was filled with the active buzz of small animals and insects as they disturbed the tall grass to make their way into the middle of the clearing.
The girls along with Shippo, made their way down to a shallow creek that winded its way through the field and vanished out into the forest line. Their feet were stiff from constant motion and the pain in their lower backs made them curse their choice of camp the night before. Gingerly removing their footwear, the girls knelt down to pull the cool crisp water to their faces.
"The water here is so cool," Sango remarked as she wiped the remaining water from her eyes.
With her knuckled hand wiping at the edge of her right eye, she squinted to look over at Kagome who was knelt over the stream. Sitting contently she observed silently at her as she watched the young schoolgirl daze down at the water below her. The muffled flow of water seemed comforting to Sango but it was apparent that it wasn't the same for her friend. Her face seemed drawn and pale and her eyes looked detached from reality. Her hands lie lifeless, even almost contorted, atop her lap and she remained knelt over and transfixed at the reflection on the stream surface. A worried brow rose on Sango's face and a concerned complex filled her composure. She let her hip pivot to help shorten the distance between the two of them.
"Is something the matter, Kagome?" she quietly asked as she extended her right arm out to balance her body weight.
She could see that her sudden remark threw her friend off guard and Kagome quickly shook the daze from her eyes and turned to face Sango with a slight look of guilt. The young kitsune, who was lying listlessly on the streams bank, had now perked up his ears to listen in.
"Oh…sorry Sango, I guess that I'm just tired that's all…" she quickly remarked, feeling a bit ashamed that she fibbed a little. Kagome knew that she was tired but it wasn't exactly what was bothering her. Feeling that her answer was sufficient, she quickly switched her tune to a more upbeat demeanor.
Meanwhile not far from them, Miroku and Inuyasha sat stooped on top a boulder, with their backs to the girls. They were sitting side by side in silence for the majority of the time, but the unease amongst the group just wouldn't sit right with Miroku. Placing his staff beside him to rest on the boulder, Miroku let his left hand stroke his chin in puzzlement. He closed his eyes as he contemplated on what he would say to the hanyou, but it wasn't long before Inuyasha beat him to the punch.
"Go ahead already…" he let out, in what seemed like a long sigh.
Miroku let his left hand drop in mid thinking and turned his head to look at Inuyasha with widened eyes. He was caught off guard and for once almost speechless.
"Well…we all know what you are…well, that is…"Miroku could feel that he was beginning to choke of his words.
Just then Miroku quickly snapped to as he watched Inuyasha jolt up in a panic. The monk soon followed by grabbing his staff in hand and joining the hanyou's side.
"What is it, Inuyasha?" he quickly asked
The sudden change in mood immediately got the attention of the girls. Miroku turned to watch them make their way up over the bank.
"I sense jewel shards!" Kagome yelled out to them.
Just before Kagome and Sango could reach the others, a whirlwind of dust and debris burst out from the forest line and zipped through the field. It quickly twisted towards our friends completely knocking Inuyasha and Miroku out of the way. It headed directly for the girls. Sango quickly armed herself with her hirakotsu, but before she could fully prepare herself the twister of dirt and debris stopped abruptly before them. The girls shielded their eyes from the kicked up matter and coughed away the cluttered air. Peering over their forearms their eyes immediately widened in shock. It was Kouga.
Immediately a sinking feeling began to fill Kagome's gut, a feeling she was quite familiar with whenever Kouga was around. The young girl knew that it wouldn't be long before they had an up roaring on their hands and she was right.
"What the hell is going on here- who invited you, anyway?" Inuyasha barked as he jumped up from where he had been thrown.
Kagome felt the muscles in her shoulder tighten as she watched the hanyou march over with his hand on his swords handle. She could only watch in fear as the moment began to unwind.
"Well for your information…it just so happened that my men and I were searching for Naraku when I caught the scent of Kagome…and I couldn't resist dropping in…gotta a problem with that, fleabag?" the wolf snapped back then pushed his body forward in a threatening motion.
Sango rolled her eyes, as if to confirm that there definitely was going to be a brawl of words between the two.
Inuyasha began to tighten his grip on the heel of his sword, "what did you call me…!" he insisted. With a smug face Kouga replied, "I called you fleabag…why you gotta problem with that?"
"Here we go…as if we don't have enough on our hands…" Miroku let out under his breath. He effortlessly made his way over to Sango in a casual demeanor. It was apparent that this type of situation was nothing new to them.
"Why you…" the half-breed continued in the background.
Kagome began to realize that she would have to position herself between the two other wise matters would get much worse. With a deep and slightly annoyed sigh, she walks up to the two, her fists clenched in agitation.
"Shouldn't we be off, Inuyasha?" she inclined trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.
"Didn't you hear what he just called me!"
"Yes, but you're not gonna let a little name calling get you riled up are you?" she asked with a pleading expression on her face. She tried to force a smile, but somehow deep down she had a feeling that she wasn't going to win this battle.
"Keh!" Kouga mockingly let out. He folded his arms as if signaling that he had won the argument. Just then Kagome quickly turned.
"Now stop that Kouga…you're upsetting Inuyasha!" she demanded as she waved a warning finger at the startled wolf.
"Wha…what do ya mean upsetting him…the mutt's always gotta temper!" he pleaded back in his own defense. She could feel that her effort was getting nowhere.
Kagome felt herself getting more annoyed, "Kouga! Stop it…you're only gonna make matters worse now…can't we just…", but just then Inuyasha blurted in.
"I do not! Humph!" he barked back then crossed his arm and turned the other cheek. With a huff of distaste Kagome snapped in Inuyasha's direction.
"Cut it out Inuyasha!"
Meanwhile aside from all the commotion the others couldn't help but observe from the sidelines. Sango was the first to comment.
"How long do you suppose they'll continue on like this…?" the young demon slayer asked as she kept her eyes transfixed on the trio.
"Ha-ha…well, hopefully for a while" Miroku chuckled out trying not to let himself be heard by the wrong people.
Sango felt her head snap-to, "You're so immature Miroku! Grow up, will ya!"
With a pleased look upon his face, Miroku proudly spoke, "Well…you have to admit it is rather amusing to see them make fools out of themselves…besides" he continued on in an almost disappointed sigh, "this will probably be he only entertainment for today, seeing as there is no sign of Naraku anywhere."
Sango felt that Miroku's comment was completely ridiculous. She turned to continue watching the argument.
"But shouldn't we help Kagome, She does seem to have trouble handling those two…" a look of concern filled her composure. Miroku turned his focus on the three as well and could see Sango's point.
"Indeed, we all know that Inuyasha is enough to handle alone, but with Kouga being just as arrogant as he is…I'm sure that Kagome has more than she can handle. "
All three of them nodded their heads in agreement. This is where Miroku resorted to his perverted ways. He took this opportunity while Sango was distracted to lean backwards to take a pleasing glimpse of Sango's backside.
"Well…" he slyly commented as he raised his brow in interest, "it's probably just best to stand back and keep our distance, besides…" he continued, "the views rather not that bad, if you don't mind me saying…"Miroku finally added as a pleasing smile spread across his face.
Shippo could only roll his eyes at Miroku.
"Do you think…" Sango began to question as she turned to look at Miroku, but then quickly caught him in his lecherous act.
"Err…Miroku! You pervert!" She said in disgust as she swatted the monk across his face. She was just as red in the face from embarrassment as Miroku was. All she could do was glare at him in disgust as he stood their rubbing the pain from his cheek.
"Idiot" the young kitsune thought to himself.
Off in the distance you could still hear the bickering of Inuyasha and Kouga being carried on.
"Whadda mean I've got big feet!" Inuyasha barked as he continued to threaten the wolf with the gesture that he would pull is sword out.
"I'm just sayin'…they're enormous!" Kouga huffed as if to prove a point, despite how ridiculous it sounded.
Inuyasha began to sneak small glimpses down at his feet, "I don't know what you're talking about!"
Kagome's eyes began to widen with complete horror at what the two were arguing about. It was completely ridiculous let alone something no one would argue about.
"You guys! Cut it out already! You're not making any sense!" she huffed
Time was certainly beginning to pass them. It was beginning to become apparent that they really should continue on heading back to Kaede's village before the day is spent.
Pulling his staff in closer to him, Miroku prepared himself mentally to approach Kagome and the others. He stopped just before them and cleared his throat.
"Ahem…if I may interject" he calmly suggested, but was immediately attacked.
"NO!" the two demons barked back
Miroku's eyes widened in shock and uttered under his breath, "well…right then" He slowly turned and returned to the others with a look of defeat on his face and the body language of a dog with his tail between his legs.
Sango and Shippo could only chuckle under their breath at Miroku's sad attempt. Tucking her hirakotsu securely on her back, Sango calmly approached Kagome.
"Kagome", she quietly asked, "don't you think we outta be heading back…it's getting late"
Kagome turned to face Sango.
"I know, but I don't know how to break these two up" her composure started to crumble. Kagome looked down as she watched Shippo make his way over.
"There's gotta be something we can do" the young kitsune chimed up
Kagome could only look down helplessly at the young fox.
"It's almost impossible to break them up…" Kagome started to say followed by a deep sigh. "I've tried just about everything…except" she continued as she felt her mind slip her the solution to all her problems.
You could see that the three of them, including Miroku who still continued to rub his reddened cheek, knew the answer as well.
"He's not going to take this very well, Kagome" Sango tried to reason
Kagome turned to look at the bickering two and felt that there was nothing else but to "sit" Inuyasha. She knew that it wasn't the right thing to do, but she knew that it was the only thing to do. She had come to a decision and in making up her mind she slowly turned and faced the two boys. She started out trying to get their attention.
"Inuyasha…" she called out waiting for a response. There was none. She tried a second time, "Inuyasha…" this time a little louder. After her third attempt to try and get the hanyou's attention her patience had finally worn out. In a fit, Kagome clutched her fists in a fury of annoyance and yelled from the top of her lungs.
"SIT-BOY!"
Inuyasha's head immediately turned and a wave of fear covered his face, but before he could get a single word the beads around his neck glowed immensely and his body went slamming to the ground. A puff of dusty debris surrounded them and sent an echo out into the forest. Everyone's attention was focused on the unconscious hanyou. Even Ginta and Hakkaku who were ordered to keep guard at the forests edge had heard the commotion.
"Gee…I wonder if he's gonna be alright?" Ginta asked poking his head out from behind a tree.
"Of course he is…Kagome does that to him all the time" Hakkaku commented but then quickly added, "although, I don't believe Kagome's ever done it that hard before". The two quickly put a pained look on their faces and quickly hid back behind the trees.
Inuyasha still remained lifeless below them as they watched Kagome begin to kneel down beside him. Kouga begins to feel nervous in the situation and slowly begins to rub the tension that's beginning to build in is neck.
"Say…a…Kagome…you'd never do that to me, will ya?" the young wolf struggled to get out. Kagome shot a look of "good-grief" up at him.
"Never mind that Kouga…do you think you could help me with Inuyasha?" as she began to lift the unconscious hanyou to his feet.
"No way! I ain't touchin' a single hair on 'em, I don't wanna get his stench on me!" Kouga protested with a look of disgust on his face. Kagome looked up at Kouga again, this time with a look of plea.
"Kouga…"
"Besides, I think he likes it there in the ground anyway…" he tried to argue in his defense and to also give a reason as to why he shouldn't help.
Feeling desperate and definitely not impressed, Kagome insisted further, "That's not funny Kouga, now could you help me?"
"Alright…" he finally said, "but you owe me". Kouga knelt down and slipped his arm under the half-breeds and began to lift. Although, much like a child would he verbally began to express his dislike in the situation.
"Blah! I can't believe I'm doing this!" Kouga commented as he stuck his tongue out.
"What do you think he means by 'owe him'" Sango asked slightly confused by the matter.
"I don't know…but he's almost just as bad as Miroku" the young kitsune added.
"Hey now I resent that!" Miroku protested as if what Shippo was referring to was completely incorrect.
Kouga and Kagome carried Inuyasha over and rested him on the boulder.
"Wait a second…I think he's coming to" Kagome said feeling a little relieved.
Everyone watched as his eyes began to twitch beneath his eyelids. Then almost instantly Inuyasha jumped up.
"Why the hell did ya do that Kagome!" he yelled rubbing his head vigorously. You could tell he was still trying to regain full consciousness.
"Well…" she started, "to be honest, it was the only way that I could get you two to stop fighting" she finished trying to point out the reasoning in her actions.
"The only way?" Inuyasha asked very annoyed, "you could've just asked…besides I don't see ya yelling at Kouga…most of it was his fault anyway!" Inuyasha shot an intense expression at the wolf demon as he let out a low growl.
"My fault…Keh!" Kouga butted in as he huffed in utter protest.
"Now see…you guys have got to stop, it's all over with now…let's just forget it ever happened" she said as she pointed at Inuyasha knowing he was about to make a remark at Kouga.
Knowing she had caught him he quickly turned, "yea, whatever!"
Everyone looked on in shock as Inuyasha slowly walked away from them.
"That's different" Sango said out loud.
There was a slight moment of silence before Kouga spoke out.
"Well…I suppose its time for me and my comrades to head out, but before I leave…" Kouga said to Kagome before Inuyasha interrupted from the distance.
"You gone yet wolf?"
"Inuyasha…" Kagome said out loud hoping the annoyance in her voice would cause him to be silent.
"As I was sayin'…" the wolf started up again, "I gotta talk to ya…" he paused realizing that everyone was listening in. "I gotta talk to you in private" he finally added. Everyone seemed shocked including Inuyasha who had been ease dropping from where he was. In that instant he came charging over.
"Oh no you don't! Anything you've gotta say to Kagome, you can say it right here!" Inuyasha said letting his temper get to him again.
Kagome took a sigh of grief, "Now Inuyasha, it's just a conversation it's practically harmless" she insisted.
Inuyasha's eyes grew wide with shock, "What - You're kidding…you're telling me you're actually gonna go with him, are you?" you could hear the plea in his voice signaling that he didn't want her to go.
"Inuyasha, its just Kouga…relax," she said trying to reason with him.
The four of them watch as Kouga escorts Kagome off into the forest line. Sango and Miroku approached Inuyasha to make sure that he just didn't up and get the feeling to follow them. Inuyasha was utterly annoyed and he could sense the others approaching from behind.
"Don't worry…I'm not following" he quickly remarked.
"Whadda suppose their talking about Inuyasha?" Shippo asked tugging at his pant leg.
"Beats me…but I don't like the thought of it!"
"You don't suppose we should be worried, do you?" Miroku asked as he joined Inuyasha's side.
Sango shook her head with disagreement, "I don't think there's anything to worry about"
Inuyasha slowly begins to walk away.
"Do you think it's about Inuyasha?" Miroku whispered to Sango
"Miroku!" snapped Sango in annoyance
"What! I'm merely stating the obvious, besides we all can admit that Inuyasha's behavior has been quite questionable recently…" he tried pleading.
Kouga took Kagome a little further into the forest to insure that the 'mutt' wouldn't be ease dropping. When they finally rested at a spot Kagome began to feel nervous. She knew that she only agreed to Kouga's request because she knew that it would separate the two and because he had helped despite how much he disliked Inuyasha. Kagome watched, as Kouga was silent for a moment; she too could tell that he was nervous about something.
"Is something the matter, Kouga?" she asked
He quickly snapped out of his deep thought. "You're my girl, right Kagome?" he suddenly responded.
Kagome felt a bit choked. "You're…girl? Uh…now let's not get rash Kouga…what's going on…?" Kagome felt the urge to pull her hands away so that she wouldn't give Kouga any bright ideas.
"Well…the thing is" he started, "with you being my girl and all…I still can't stomach the fact that I gotta leave you with that…. mutt-face".
At this point Kouga had gotten entirely sentimental and it wasn't apparent to Kagome that he had her hands in his until now. An extreme feeling of anxiety and awkwardness filled Kagome's body.
"It's just not the same…I'm alone all the time and traveling around gets lonely…" Kouga said trying to make it sound that his situation was desperate.
Kagome looked deep into Kouga's eyes to see that he was being dead serious. She never thought that Kouga could be like this. What shocked her most was that Kouga said that he felt lonely. The moment that she heard it she began to feel the connection she had with the word. She mentally began to stray away in deep thought and Kouga hadn't quite caught on yet. Kouga continued to talk until he broke her train of thought when he reached for her hands again.
"Kagome- Are you listening?" he asked her slightly confused he hadn't noticed that she wasn't entirely listening.
Kagome looked up at him feeling a bit guilty that she let herself get so worked up about a stupid word.
"I'm sorry Kouga; I've just had a long day and not much sleep that's all" she cooed
"See…that Inu-trasha's gotta take better care of you…that's what I get for leaving you in the care of that mutt-face!" Kouga exclaimed as he clenched his fist is anger.
Kouga took sometime to quietly to think to himself. He was deeply concerned for Kagome's safety that he wanted to ask her to come with him, but it was obvious that she had too much going on to really pay attention. He decided that he should wait a few more days to pass before he asked her.
"Can you do me a favor…Kagome?" he politely asked. He lowered his head to make sure he made total eye contact.
"A…a…favor?" she asked hesitantly
"I want you to meet me in two days, after you've had some time to rest, Kagome"
Her eyes widened.
"Meet you? What do you mean?" Kagome was feeling very nervous at this point.
"We can meet in two days, that way I can try to talk to you again"
"I can't do that," she protested
"Why not - We're meeting right now aren't we?"
"Yea, but I'm not going through all that fighting again, besides Inuyasha wouldn't take having to be sat again…" she replied as she began to feel guilty remembering that she had sat Inuyasha not too long ago.
"Right, the fleabag…well, we'll meet at night and we'll keep it a secret" Kouga added
"A secret- There's no way I'd ever keep a…" Kagome quickly remarked knowing that she would never keep anything from her friends.
Just then Kagome put her hand around her throat as she began think about the secret that Inuyasha is keeping from her. A knot began to form in her throat and it was making it hard for her to breathe. The reality that Inuyasha kept a secret from her pained her heart and what made matters worse was that with each day it was certain she'd be alone herself. Kagome glanced up at Kouga who was still trying to make eye contact with her.
"How long will I have beside Inuyasha till one day I'll be…alone? Could I keep a secret from him? Or from the others at that?" she thought to herself
She let her thoughts ponder a few moments before she finally let her answer slip.
"I'll do it…" she hushed under her breath feeling a little worried that she should have picked a different answer.
"Great!" Kouga responded feeling ecstatic, "now…we just need to figure out where".
Kouga began to scratch his head trying to think of a meeting place.
"Well we're heading back to Kaede's village and…" Kagome added
"Perfect!" he interrupted, "we'll meet at the edge of the village".
"The forest at night - Isn't that a little dangerous Kouga?" she began to get the feeling that this might be a bad idea.
"Nonsense Kagome, you've got me there don't ya?" he said as he stood erect and proud.
"Oh – right, I forgot" she said letting a shamed look fill her face
"Great, so then you'll meet me there…in two days?" Kouga asked with his eyes lit up excitedly.
Not quite sure of her decision she nodded yes anyway.
Just then Kouga quickly winds up a whirlwind of dust and debris and begins to take off. Although, before he is completely out of view Kagome can hear his last remark.
"You won't regret it Kagome!"
She sat for a moment realizing that she now had made a secret with Kouga, but what started to bother her was that it was a secret from the others, especially Inuyasha. As she casually left she began to wipe the dust that kicked up onto her skirt and started her way back. She tried to take deep breaths to relax herself but the thought that she had to keep this secret continued to bother her. As Kagome made her way out into the clearing she could see her friends. With each step she drew nearer and with each step she breathed nervously in fear that they might ask what she and Kouga talked about. She felt herself biting her lip but much to her surprise no one had said a word.
The journey back to the village was tiring but they made it safely home at mid evening. Everyone had been exhausted and a good nights rest was much needed. As they entered the home the familiar faces greeted them, it was Kaede herself and Kirara. Only a few words were exchange before our friends settled in for a nights rest.
END
Chapter 1 - "Kagome makes a secret" - Chapter 2 "The dreaded word, 'alone' "