He wondered why the infamous Gunner seemed so regal in his thin form. Maybe it had something to do with just how tall he was - clearly, he was always a few centimeters taller than the majority of players - or, his cerulean hues, or even just how he presented himself.
Yet, even though Haseo gazed upon the older man more times than almost everyone else, he still found himself mesmerized..
... And god, did he hate it.
He hated the grip Ovan had on him, like he was under this thumb once he merely crossed his mind. It was frustrating and on the brink of demoralizing the way he couldn't find a grip on himself.
Love was toxic. Haseo had no idea how to distill it.
"You're getting pretty decent at finding me," Ovan commented, slate eyes falling upon the albino. The Gunner's definition of affection ended up melding with his actions, and as much as it drove Haseo insane, Ovan was beginning to catch his slips. He was perfectly aware they couldn't communicate such differences anyway, but he wanted to try. He had a promise to keep, and his own obstacles to overcome.
"You're getting slow," the Rogue shot back calmly, shrugging and joining his companion. Their most fateful of conversations happened in the most docile and sacred places. The cathedral was laden with their steps and voices, it's pristine silence interrupted with their presence. It was disturbed once more with a gentle chuckle. "Nine years means nothing," the blunet replied softly, his hands gripping dark railing, his smile concealed behind a cloth wall. Ruby eyes stared at him for a moment before narrowing in hushed amusement. "Uh huh. We know what we came here for," he skipped the subject with a scoff, although he himself was faintly unsure of what exactly he was pestering Ovan about. He looked up at him once more, a thought coming to his mind.
"You know, whenever we talk outside of the game, you're so much more casual - and real. I feel like you're just.. hiding from me," he commented slowly. The Gunner looked on thoughtfully with a neutral look. Ryou licked his lips, feeling his throat dry up a little. Talking was difficult, especially to Ovan - especially personal matters between them. "Don't.. Don't you trust me?" The question came out almost like a parched whisper, for Haseo had to force his words before he ended up running off. Ovan gave him a calculated look, weighing his options. Had he really come off as misleading? Surely, somewhere, his actions had led him astray after his return, but where? When? How? He could feel crimson eyes expect an answer from him soon before he began to pressure him - the blunette sighed softly.
"Of course I do," he answered softly, but Haseo had exploded. "Then why don't you act like it? You're always look so distracted like you're barely listening and it's not like you even take my words seriously anyway! Do you know what that does to me, Ovan?!" His voice had gone to a full-blown shout, and by the Gunner's observation, was on the brink of crying. "It hurts, you asshole! I want to punch you yet I want you to hold me - do you understand?! Probably not!"
The Rogue was out of breath, yet he couldn't tear himself away from the man that made him feel too much at once, yet said little. Slate eyes were calm in their gaze, and he seemed unfazed. However, Ovan did want to apologize, and he knew he was Haseo's shoulder to lean on, and so there was no use in objection. The ache that reverberated had caught him off-guard, and his lips pursed in reaction.
The shorter male grimaced. "What is it now, eh? Are you offended finally?" Ovan couldn't help but narrow his eyes at him. "No, it's not that," he responded. An interjection slammed his mouth shut.
"So what is it, huh? Are you not going to tell me that, too?"
Ovan couldn't help but scowl - he was observing why Haseo believed so strongly in his claim; the other was assuming - simply assuming to have something to fall back on. This behavior was giving no room for discussion, and quite frankly, the blunet was visibly annoyed. It was necessary to stop Haseo before he found too much momentum. Ovan hated acting so angry, even if a fraction of it was true emotion, but he had to put his foot down. "Shut up and listen," he barked, the teen freezing at the gravelly seriousness directed at him. He blinked, muttering a, "..What?" as the taller man looked down on him. The Rogue swore it was the same look when Ovan lost his grip on AIDA. "You heard me," was the cold response, before a sigh was given and the Gunner seemed to deflate.
He took to leaning against the railing, arms folded across his chest, feeling faintly tired from having to raise his voice. Ovan was purely the gentle man, something that Haseo had taken an affection to. The Rogue knew he was not a man to be reckoned with, but he couldn't help but want to bury himself in the traits that only he owned. The taller man before him looked much older, his shoulders sagging, losing their slender youth and strength. "I do trust you. I trusted you from the very beginning," Ovan breathed quietly, slate eyes finding crimson ones, "Now, I realize that I trust you with every stringy fiber of my being. So, before you kick and scream in retaliation, I advise you one thing, Haseo, and that is people have certain connections that are forgettable, but unbreakable. For us, that is our trust. You knew I would come back, did you not?"
Haseo was silent for a moment, considering. He was always hopeful for the fated day in which Masato would wake up and return, but time passed and wore his patience thin, anyway. Maybe it was just there, but he never thought about it. There was too much pain in their fleeting conversations. The Rogue shrugged, finally. "I guess. I never enjoyed dwelling on it."
"Yes, and take my words to heart," Ovan replied, faltering in the way his lips quirked as if he was considering something almost painful. "I returned to the sea of gray, shattered, yet I believed you would have never forgotten who I am, and who I was. .. I believe you are my savior," he concluded gently, eyes wavering faintly before shutting, then looking away. Haseo looked at him, dumbfounded and flushed at the same time. Did he really regard him so highly? What..
It was difficult to come up with a coherent sentence, so Haseo could only just stare at him helplessly. Ovan merely nodded. "It's true. It had merely bolstered the pillar that even I hadn't expected over these few years, but I've grown to embrace it, quietly," he told him softly. Haseo couldn't help but blink, slowly deciphering his words without noise. His heart gave a strong pang when he realized just what he meant. "Ovan.. You-" even he couldn't say the words himself, but the Gunner merely smiled, pulling out his own courage to finish with, "Love me? Of course. I've grown to love you."
"Tch- You're a good liar," Haseo shot back, folding his arms with an apparent scowl. He just couldn't accept it. Ovan of all people? In love with him? There was just no way the Gunner would return his feelings without some kind of tag to push this whole thing in his favor. However, when he tried to search shielded eyes for some kind of snide ploy, he only found an odd sternness he saw when Ovan truly meant something. His own heart couldn't stop hammering when he realized that his elation had tackled everything but his automatic wall - it was just so impractical!
Yet.. There he was. The unmoving enigma he had leaned on, chased after, and verbally abused. There was not a scratch on him that was permanent from what he could see, but a small voice reminded him that everyone bore scars under the surface, even the Gunner himself.
"This isn't a lie," the Gunner responded softly, "but a truth even I accept willingly." His lips were curled in such a dainty way that Haseo had never seen before. He always seemed so melancholic and cryptic, and in order to change such a mask, remarks had to be made. Events had slowed to a crawl for the both of them, and for Haseo, Ovan's absence led to a dead crawl on days in which he wasn't in the presence of others. There were times in which the eldest Cleric had given him the chance to vent; Shino seemed to be well-informed, and equally as retrospective. Her words had eased the both of them in independent instances.
Neither of them had that kind of liberty now, as they stood side-by-side, Haseo becoming the aesthetic compliment to Ovan's now-absent contrast. "I-I'm.. shocked.. to say the least," Haseo stammered out, in embarrassment of feeling like a junior high schoolgirl. "I had always assumed you didn't feel.. that way, but I think part of me wished it dearly, you know?" he ventured, at a loss of a proper reaction the more he thought about it. The enigma couldn't help the smile of honest amusement, nodding in agreement. "Had I let you known, you wouldn't have been able to help save the Lost Ones. I.. forgot about my feelings in favor of execution," the Gunner admitted, "It was the end of my days at the time when it had come back to me. I'm.. glad you were there for that."
Haseo have him an odd look. "That?" he echoed, to which the blunet nodded. "The Rebirth," the older man rephrased, and memories quickly flooded the Rogue. Ah.. That. "I almost lost myself there because of you," he couldn't help but quip lightly, folding his arms with a frown. Ovan merely gave a small chuckle in response, shooting back with, "Zelkova knows how to edit your character at least. You looked somewhat funny with your third job extension." The teen in reference fumed - that bastard really knew how to get under his skin - and sighed angrily. "I'd like to see you get an upgrade, ungrateful old man."
"To be honest, having two free arms instead of one or three was my upgrade," the old man had answered smoothly. It was simply amusing seeing Haseo be stubborn enough to not give up such a useless argument with him. It was a sign that things has still remained the same, it seemed. "You're kidding, right?" the teen drawled, hands on his hips.
"Nope. It only means I can hug you," Ovan replied, a little cheeky with his honest response. Haseo merely huffed, a snide look on his face as he stared in a perpendicular direction, rolling his eyes. He brought his eyes forward again, and swallowed a gasp - the Gunner was much into his personal space, oh-so calmly with that gentle smile of his, and the Rogue tried to keep his flustered cheeks under control.
Ovan admitted he loved him, right? Haseo found himself surprised despite slowly coming to a small realization. Yet when he felt lips pressing gently against his own, he was unable to pull away, but instead found himself leaning into it.
The blunet simply tended to the flame that already remained, allowing it to burn as bright as it used to. He suddenly felt like his old newbie self again, mesmerized and tugged along by an invisible string.
Well, he had always been pulled along, right?
It was only now that Haseo realized he had Ovan pulled along just as equally.