Ari: I ran into a door this morning. A door. An OPEN door at that. I'm taking it as a rather painful message: get off your lazy butt and write something. So yeah And since my current song is History is Made by Stupid People by Arrogant Worms, expect something silly.
--
(A/N: Italics thoughts, BTW)
The Slayers group were walking along a normal dirt path surrounded by woods peacefully (for them). Birds were singing, the sun was shining, and cute little puppies romped with flowers.
So, naturally, something was due to come ambling a long.
Aforementioned something, which is actually a certain Antagonist in a long brown trench coat pretending to be someone else who's in disguise as Vrumugun who recently got a dye job and a Mohawk but I'm rambling now so let's leave it at the first two words, shall we?: Ohohohohohoho, when Lina and the others come around this bend, I will- Oh crap!
The last two words were spoken as said Slayers group walked right past her. So, naturally, it should have been expected when she jumped up, breaking cover, and sprinted after them. Or at least it would have been expected had a large tree limb fallen on her after she jumped up.
(The authoress suddenly breaks into song along with her aforementioned music.
Everyone besides her: TURN IT OFF!!!!!!
Authoress: (sticks out tongue and continues singing))
Zel: Did you hear something?
(Lina, Gourry, and Amelia all shake their heads. Xellos just smiles.)
Lina: (pokes) Are you finally losing it, Zel?
Xellos: That WOULD be a bad thing, wouldn't it?
Amelia: Don't even joke about that, Xellos-san! Sanity is very important to people!
(Authoress: I disagree. I've been functioning quite well without mine for some time now :))
Well, I guess everybody except Arianna-san then.
All: (nod in agreement)
...And suddenly, the abovementioned person came running up to them.
AP: Hey, what up! Didn't you hear me yelling! (tries to catch her breath)
Lina: (watches the cloaked person) Hmm... No way!
Everyone: (stares at Lina)
Lina: ... You're that guy I blew up in Slayers Perfect!!!!
Everyone: ...
(Authoress: (coughs) Sorry, similar lines. Couldn't resist.)
A collective sweatdrop follows.
AP: Anyway...Back to the reason I came back (throws off cloak)- Lina Inverse, I challenge you!
All: No way!
Lina: Who are you again?
Collective facefault follows.
Martina: Y-you don't remember me?!
(Authoress: Bet ya thought it was Nahga! Fooled you fooled you fooled you!!! (does a little dance))
Once again, a collective sweatdrop follows.
Amelia: Martina-san... Weren't you married to Zangulus-san?
Martina: (tears fill up eyes) But I so wanted to go chall (suddenly notices Xellos)- Xellos-sama (heart-eyes)!
Xellos: (looks nervous) Yes, this IS a surprise. (Notices Martina eyeing him and teleports outa there)
Martina: (with the drama) I have been abandoned again! Oh fate, how can you be so-
Lina: -Yeah whatever, I'm leaving. (Authoress: So the
Sorceress starts walking away, followed by a clueless-looking Gourry and a half-amused half-stoic (Random Zelgadis fan girl: and HOT) Chimera, leaving Martina, who suddenly begins to cry, and Amelia who looks like she's about to spout something about justice.)
Amelia: Miss Lina! We can't just leave her here! (gestures to Martina) It would be unjust!
(Authoress: Oh, I am good.)
Lina: Uh, yeah we can. And I'm not gonna question your logic, Arianna.
(Authoress: (looks smug) Of course not. And you're supposed to be walking away.)
Lina: I'm TALKING to you! I can't be walking away. And where is this fic even going?
(Authoress: ...)
You don't know, do you?
(Authoress: ...)
So then it would make sense to just end the fic here, right?
(Authoress: I suppose so, but since when do I make sense?)
Good point.
Zel: Are you two done yet?
Lina: not quite.
(Authoress: Almost.)
So anyway, even you can't be excluded from logic sometimes.
(Authoress: But this is not one of those times.)
... Then why are you even writing this if you don't know where to take it or when to stop when it's sensible?
(Authoress: I ran into a door this morning.)
Ouch.
Both: (nod seriously)
Amelia: Lina-san, Arianna-san, are you finished?
(Authoress: As of now.)
Martina: Then let's get on with this! (leaps up, tears long forgotten) Lina I challenge you!
Lina: I decline.
Gourry: But Lina, I thought you liked blowing people up.
All: (stare at Gourry in his wise moment)
Gourry: You always take their money afterwards.
Yet again sweat drops form.
Lina: Gourry shut up! (thwacks him on the head)
Martina: Hah! Like Lina ever had the maturity, not to mention the figure to pull off that- (is suddenly blown away by a furious Lina's Dil Brando)
Lina: GRRR!!!!!
Zel: (sarcastically) Gee Lina, don't go all sophisticated on us.
Lina: (grins evilly and readies a fireball) What was that, Zelly boy?
Zel: (laughs nervously) Er, I'll just be, heh, leaving now (takes off, using his chimera speed to get him away from the potential explosion site as fast as possible).
Amelia and Gourry: (stare)
Lina: (whips around and glares at them) Well, what are YOU looking at!!!
The two suddenly decide they don't want to share Martina's fate and high tale it outa there.
Lina: So... It's just you and me.
(Authoress: Actually (glances at watch, which she FINALLY got around to buying, but still can't figure out how to work so its an hour behind, but I'm rambling again) I have homework to do. Ciao. (Leaves))
Lina: ... Oh come on! I get left behind by even the Hermit! (scowls darkly, and vents her frustrations on a nearby log)
Okay, so... Now what do I do?
Mysterious Robed Stranger: Now you fight me- (throws off cloak) Your Ultimate, Smartest, and Sexiest rival, Nahga the Serphent! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By this time Lina had run about a mile in the opposite direction, and still going strong.