**Written for the Potions Competition: Laugh Inducing Potion, Fanfiction: School of Imagination and Creativity, Drama Assessment 2, the Comedies and Tragedies Competition: Comedy, the Set Pairing Boot Camp, the Pairing Diversity Boot Camp: jester, the All Sorts of Love Competition: Slash, Camp Potter: Fireworks Show, Week 9 and the Big Sis/Lil Sis Competition: Round 5**

A.N - Also written for the amazing Liza. I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind but I hope you like it nonetheless.

The Quest for Love

For the attention of Mr Remus Lupin

.

Princess Sirielle of the Black Estate has requested that you be the gentleman to rescue her from the tower in which she is held captive. She wants it to be known that if you fail, her hand will be taken by Prince Marlon of the McKinnon Estate.

Please send reply with the messenger.

.

Your Sincerely

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

Keeper of the Black Estate

Remus looked down at the scroll in his hands, unable to believe what he had just read. For so long he had wished for the hand of the fair maiden, but he was merely a court jester: completely unworthy of her. The Lupin family had once been a formidable name in the kingdom, but Remus' father had lost their entire wealth with an act of greed and arrogance, leaving Remus with little more than a roof over his head and a set of silver bells.

The bells had helped a lot when Remus' father passed away. Needing to be able to pay the rent every month to Queen Walburga and King Orion Black, he started jesting in the streets.

When he was hauled in front of the King and Queen by the street police he thought he was sentenced to an early death. However, they requested he became the court jester with one condition: he mustn't speak in their presence. Remus agreed, of course; that was a small price to pay in return for his life.

So he began his life inside the Estate. The days were monotonous, broken by seldom appearances of the King, Queen and the Princess Regina as they ordered their servants around the house. Princess Sirielle was never seen, rumour had it that she was cast in the tower for trying to run away from her family's beliefs and thoughts on the people that they ruled over.

Remus had seen her at the window though. Through the glass he had seen long, dark hair that fell loosely over her shoulder. He had fallen in love with her. Simple as that. He had heard of her struggle for a voice within her family, and he empathised with her. He admired her strength and when he had heard about her banishment to the tower he had wept. Ever since then he had wanted her hand, to prove to her that people did care about her opinion, and more importantly, her.

A cough interrupted his thoughts. Remus looked down to find a small creature staring at him with wide eyes.

'Is Master going to reply?'

'Um, yes. Tell the Dumbledore fellow that it would be my honour to take the hand of the fair lady.'

'Very well, Master. I shall inform Master Dumbledore of your willingness to complete the set quest.'

'Quest?' questioned Remus, but he spoke to thin air, for the little creature had disappeared right into it.

That night Remus prayed. He prayed for the first time since before his father tarnished their family's reputation. He prayed for luck, help and most of all, he prayed for Sirielle. He prayed that, should he fail, Prince Marlon would treat her as she deserved. There was little chance of that though, so Remus knew that he had to prosper in his mission. As Remus knelt against his bed his knee brushed against a hard object. Confused, he pulled the long shape from underneath and opened it. An ornate sword lay upon a velvet cushion. Silver in colour, it had a blood red stone inserted in the handle and 'Godric Gryffindor' carved into the blade. Remus gasped. Godric Gryffindor was one of the founders of their kingdom, a folk law legend, and here he had his very sword. He picked up the ice cold sword, and practised swordplay, the likes of which he hadn't in a long time. As he slashed and swirled the sword around he couldn't help but notice that it was perfectly balanced and seemed to fit his grip exactly.

Remus tucked the sword into his belt, gathered a few extra supplies and ventured out into the night. He didn't notice the little note that fluttered down from the case...

Use it well

~o~

Remus stalked through the night keeping to the shadows as much as possible. He made it to the main gate of the Estate without alerting anyone of his presence, but he knew his task had only begun.

A man stood guard at the gate, an axe in a sling over his shoulder and a nasty expression upon his face. Remus knew of the man, Macnair, and also knew of his reputation throughout the Black territory. Cross him and you'd wish you'd never been born. He had no problem in persuading people to give them their tax money. All he had to do was tilt the axe so a beam of light reflected off the razor sharp blade, and the money sacks came to him so fast you'd have thought magic was involved.

Delicacy was needed in this situation and Remus knew exactly what to do. When he was a hundred metres away or so, he howled like a wolf. The guards were petrified of wolves after the local storyteller, Rita, had told a harrowing tale of werewolves living in the surrounding forest, and when one of the guards had gone mysteriously missing after dismissing the tale... well, safe to say no one was going to doubt it again. Macnair jumped and stared at the sky. After noticing the full moon he ran full pelt away from the gate, screaming about monsters and curses, leaving it free for Remus to open. He wound the lever round and slipped underneath when a large enough gap was created.

Inside the courtyard he looked up to the tower. The light was flickering so Remus presumed the Princess was still awake. He picked up a few stones and threw them up to the window, a light pattering sound confirmed to him that he had hit the intended target. The window opened and the voice of Princess Sirielle preceded her face to the window.

'Marlon! If that's you again, I'm afraid I'll have to... Remus,' she gasped, as she saw the face of the man standing in the courtyard for her. He splayed his arms wide and bowed deeply, a wide grin could be seen on his face as he faced the window again.

'Princess Sirielle, your hero has come to rescue you.'

'You came... you actually came, Remus.'

'Of course, my Lady. How could I not, when it is your hand that I gain?' asked Remus.

'Quickly then, you'll get caught.' Remus nodded and bowed again before hurrying out of sight.

He made his way to the nearest door. Solid oak and nine feet tall, it should have been intimidating but Remus felt invincible, especially after his first encounter with the Princess. He gathered all of his energy and pushed up against the door. At first it didn't seem to want to move, but he persisted and it soon gave out to the pressure he was applying to it. It creaked open slowly and Remus crept inside. The entrance hall was grand: chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, portraits lined the walls and a sweeping staircase led the way to the upper floors.

Remus stepped forward slowly, constantly on the lookout for anything that could halt his quest for the fair lady. He just started on his ascent on the staircase when a voice stopped him.

'Stop! What is master Remus doing sneaking around the Estate at this time? Kreacher won't allow it.' It was the messenger who had given him the scroll earlier in the day.

'I am merely fulfilling my duty...' started Remus but his answer was cut off by the fact that Kreacher had thrown an apple at his face.

'Kreacher wonders why you do it in the middle of the night, Master? Kreacher won't allow people to sneak around the house. Get out!'

As Remus wiped the apple that was splattered over his face off, he was extremely wary that there was a commotion happening behind Kreacher. A group of similar creatures to Kreacher emerged from what seemed to be the kitchen. They were all holding various fruits and all looked very menacing.

'I won't leave, Kreacher,' said Remus as he drew his sword. 'I have a mission to complete.'

'Then you leave Kreacher no options. Attack!' he shouted as he threw another apple towards the jester. Remus lifted his sword just in time, it sliced through the fruit and the two halves missed both side of his face by millimetres. Remus had little time to awe at the sharpness of the sword before the avalanche of fruit came towards him. He was grateful he was learned in swordplay, as he was tested by the various speeds and directions that the fruit came towards him. He made his way slowly up the stairs whilst fending off the little creatures. He had almost reached the top when a particularly vicious looking creature threw a pineapple at his head. Remus managed to slice it but the spikes caught his cheeks and left deep scratch marks that seared a little as a freshly sliced lemon squirted juice into them.

When Remus reached the top of the seemingly never-ending staircase he turned his back and ran to the nearest door. He flung himself through it and locked it, grateful to be out of the firing line of the insane little creatures.

He leant back against the door and breathed heavily. The new room was dark and Remus had to squint to be able to even remotely see what was in it. As his eyes became accustomed to the new low levels of light he saw that the room just seemed to be a corridor. It seemed to be deserted so he made his way forwards, whilst slowly wiping apple seeds and mashed banana off his face.

It wasn't until he was halfway down the corridor that he suddenly realised why his feet felt strange. He was walking through a very thick substance, each footstep was being forced back to the ground as he pulled it off. Not deterred he made himself walk to the end of the corridor, and hopefully into light again.

Remus stumbled through the door into a candlelit room. He stared at his feet and recoiled momentarily as he realised he'd been walking through what seemed to be honey,but surely couldn't be. As he made to carry on with his journey he found he couldn't; his shoes were stuck to the floor. He fought with them but could not move them off their position that he'd put them in. Clearly he'd just walked though a corridor with some sort of adhesive spilt on the floor.

Annoyed at himself and the whole situation he was in he removed his shoes and carried on barefoot.

He didn't meet another obstacle until he reached the bottom of the tower that the Princess was held in. A wizened looking old man appeared from a doorway underneath the spiral staircase.

'Well done, Remus. You have come this far, through all manners of obstacles and now is your final one. Your Princess awaits you at the top of these stairs-'

'Who are you?' interrupted Remus.

'I am the keeper of the Back Estate, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. It was I who sent you the scroll against the wishes of the Black family. I consider myself to be the Princess' only friend and it is my only wish that she is not betrothed to Prince Marlon. I can't say I agree with her choice of you, but you're better than him.'

'And I only asked who he was...' Remus muttered under his breath, taking insult to what the man told him.

'Your task,' carried on the old man, 'is to answer me this. Which should you do: what is easy? Or what is right? Think carefully.'

'Clearly you should do what's right. No matter how hard it is, if it's the right thing to do you should persist with it. I mean, come on, I've battled little animal things with various fruits and a floor completely covered with a glue like substance. That's not easy but it's right, as I can't let the Princess belong to Prince Marlon. Too many people do the easy thing, even if it goes against everything that they know. Princess Sirielle, herself, did the right thing by standing up to her family whereas Princess Regina collapsed under the pressure and now follows the ideals that the family bestowed upon her.'

'And I only asked him a simple question,' said Albus, not trying very hard to keep it under his breath. 'But well phrased, young Remus. You may pass.'

Signing in relief, Remus started up the stairs to his Princess waiting at the top...

He collapsed through the door to the room that the Princess was living in. He hadn't realised he got motion sickness until he was around three quarters of the way up the staircase. Remus groaned in discomfort but smiled weakly when Sirielle leant over him with a concerned look on his face.

'Remus,' she said. 'Are you ok? You look terrible and what is that on your face?'

'Probably some sort of concoction of fruit. Long story...' he moaned but attempted to stand nonetheless.

When he was stable on his feet he faced Sirielle, and placed her hand in his.

'Princess Sirielle, I have ran true to my word when a finer man would have failed. It is my love for that has prevailed me in my quest, nothing could stop me from loving you, Sirielle-'

'Wait!' A voice shouted from behind Remus' shoulder.

'What now?' said Remus impatiently, discontent clear in his features.

'You are not worthy of her. You're merely a court jester, and I, I am a Prince,' said the stranger, as he puffed himself up impressively. Remus turned to look at Sirielle, she nodded back and he caught sight of his face in a mirror as he turned to face the stranger. He had half a kiwi protruding from his shirt, bloodstains across his cheeks and very cold feet. Remus had had enough.

'Yes! You are a Prince, but you are also an ass. I have had way too many distractions today to have you be added to the list as well. I have had to get past gates, I have had animals throw fruits at me, I have had to do half of this barefooted and talk to an extremely unhelpful and rude man. If you,' he jabbed the stranger in the chest, ' think that I'm going to roll over and let you have the Princess, then you're completely wrong. Now, just go away before I have to show you my sword.' Sirielle giggled at the hidden innuendo, and the stranger stood back in shock.

'Fine! Have it your way, have the Princess! But let it be known that I am Prince Marlon of the McKinnon Estate, and I shall be back!' shouted the Prince as he walked backwards through the door. His exit would have been threatening had it not been for the fact that he hit his head on the low doorframe. He cursed before throwing glares at the couple and departing down the stairs.

'Well, that was fun...' said Remus with a touch of sarcasm.

'My hero...' replied Sirielle, as she neared the young man. Remus' breath caught in his throat as Sirielle's eyes flicked towards his lips and then back to his eyes.

'I never thought this day would happen,' murmured Remus. He closed his eyes and smelt the fresh mint on the Princess' breath...

~o~

Prince Sirius awoke suddenly from his vivid dream, completely aghast at what his mind had conjured in his sleep. He and Remus had been seeing each other secretly for the past three months, he knew his family would never agree, and it was his duty to keep the Black bloodline alive so he had been married to Princess Marlene. She was a wonderful lady but he could never love her, not like he loved Remus, the peasant man who had captured his heart with his bright eyes and kind heart. Sirius made his way to the window and looked out over the immediate vicinity, his mind filled with thoughts. When he realised he loved men instead of women he knew that his heart would ever be listened to. So when Remus came begging and baring little tax money Sirius felt his heart go out to the man. He immediately befriended him, and things escalated quickly from there. It excited Sirius to be seeing another man behind his wife, but Sirius knew that it was worth the risk.

A sandy-haired man caught his attention out the window. It was Remus, there like he was every day. Sirius waved and then placed his finger against his mouth; they were each other's secret, and they always would be.

A.N - So this is my first attempt at writing anything remotely humorous, what did you think?

Review, please?