A/N: This is a oneshot parody for tabby-tiger-demon, because guess what? On my new parody FanFic, The Warriors IM Chats, I told my fans that whoever posted, "Oh, biscuits" first one something special.
That would be a parody oneshot FanFic about either their most disliked Warriors character, or their most loved Warriors character. Tabby chose "most loved," and she has chosen Cinderpelt! Claps all around.
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Cinderpelt eyed Leafpool. "Leafpool, I know you've been up to something," she began.
"Huh?" Leafpool's fur stood on end and she dropped a storage of borage.
"LEAFPOOL!" Cinderpelt gasped, slapping her paws over her mouth. "It's a storage of borage! How dare you drop it? Shame, shame!" Cinderpelt began to stack the borage up neatly and Leafpool slipped away.
OOO
"Leafpool, we seriously need to talk! While I was picking up that storage of borage, you ran away," Cinderpelt mewed quietly, eyeing her apprentice. "Have you been seeing that Crowfeather?"
"Er…No! Not at all. I've been…Getting Poptarts! Yes; yes, that's it. That's all," Leafpool explained, while nodding her head vigorously and moving her paws about.
"Leafpool, you see, I would believe that, except…YOU'VE NEVER BROUGHT ANY POPTARTS BACK TO THE CLAN, TOO! I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU EATING ONE!" Cinderpelt yowled, stabbing a claw at Leafpool's face.
Leafpool bit her lip, then turned away. "Why would I love that full-of-himself tomcat? He acts like a kit; much less, a warrior."
Cinderpelt rolled on the ground (With difficulty, due to her leg). "You! Love! That! Tomcat!" She stabbed another claw in her direction, then sat down, raising her eyebrows (If she'd had any). "Set down next to me, Leafpool." She straitened up.
"Okay." Leafpool sat beside her mentor.
Cinderpelt put a paw on Leafpool's shoulder. "Listen. When…Well, when I was an apprentice…Before I was a medicine cat apprentice and when I was Firestar's apprentice back when he was Fireheart…I fell in love with him."
"Huh?" Leafpool put on a wide-eyed anime-like face.
"Yes. And I knew what happened to my leg would separate us forever, especially when I became Yellowfang's apprentice. I still loved him for a while, though; and then I saw him and that hotheaded witch…"
"My mother?" Leafpool squinted.
"Yes, her. Anyhow, I saw those two getting closer, and I just knew I couldn't compare. So I…I just gave up. I know what it's like to have forbidden love. I still feel that way about Firestar, a little. Just…It's become easier to deal with. Please, if you are 'dating' Crowfeather, just tell me."
"Yes. We're boyfriend and girlfriend."
"HOLY BISCUITS!" Cinderpelt hissed loudly, all her fur standing on end. "Wait 'til your father and the witch find out about this!"
"Cinderpelt, no!"
"OH. MY. STARCLAN. I should be checking you for MTDs!" Cinderpelt began to hyperventilate.
"What?" Leafpool stopped, confused.
"Mating
Translated Diseases," Cinderpelt explained. "Oh, StarClan! You've
never even heard of them! They don't teach that kind of thing in
class, I suppose. I have to spread the word!"
"You do realize
that you were
and
are
my teacher, and it's your fault I don't know what MTDs are?"
Leafpool accused.
"Yes, I know. I feel bad about that." Cinderpelt looked down. "YOU DIDN'T USE PROTECTION, DID YOU?!"
"StarClan, Cinderpelt, you're making me uncomfortable! We didn't mate, okay? Jeez. I'm not ready for that." Leafpool turned her head away from Cinderpelt.
"Oh, good, good. I'm happy about that. But your dad still has to know! He'll find out sooner or later, anyhow."
"C'mon, Cinderpelt, can't you just wait, please? I don't want daddy to do anything drastic to Crowfeather." Leafpool paused. "You can't help who you fall in love with."
Cinderpelt paused, then scratched her chin. "Well…FIRESTAR! YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS TO BE PUT UNDER CONTROL! SHE'S DATING A WINDCLAN TOM!" shouted Cinderpelt. "Sorry, dudette." She shrugged.
Firestar came skidding in. "Which daughter and which WindClan tom?"
"Leafpool. And that mangy Crowfeather!" Cinderpelt stuck her tongue out as if she had tasted a sour herb.
"I WILL DESTROY HIM!" Firestar caterwauled, shaking with rage.
"Daddy, please, don't! We're in love!" Leafpool protested.
"You're too young to know what love is!" snapped Firestar. "You're barely a medicine cat."
Leafpool's eyes widened. "I…I hate you!" Leafpool ran away and out of the ThunderClan camp, grabbing her cell phone along the way. Most likely to contact Crowfeather.
"Leafpool, wait!" Cinderpelt called.
"We might as well just let her be," sighed Firestar. "Me and Sandstorm will deal with her when she comes back."
"Tell Sandstorm 'hi' for me," Cinderpelt purred happily, before messing with herbs and muttering under her breath.
Firestar just backed away and went back to his den.
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed it, Tabby!