Two weeks had passed since their daywalking Billith wacky extravaganza and Pam was already going out of her mind.
Tara was the only one she truly somewhat liked in her life right now. If someone had told her a year ago that she'd have a progeny of her own, she would have laughed at the face of that foolish person. If she was told that said progeny would be Sookie Stackhouse's best friend with the personality of a bad trained pit-bull, she would have checked the person into the loony bin. Yet there she was, a Maker, and even more surprisingly, she found Tara to be a decent vampire. It was still hard as Pam had always been an individualist and Eric has been the only person she'd ever risk her life for so long, but she's trying. Even though Pam still has to physically restrain her own volatile temper sometimes to not snap Tara's neck and be done with it, she can be enough of a decent person herself and recognize that she's grateful towards Tara, in all her idiotic braveness that will probably get them killed one day. Besides, duh, Pam is too proud to be that Maker who offs their own progeny.
Truth be told, Pam had been baffled by the sudden change between her and Tara. They transitioned seamlessly from death glares and threats to Tara hugging her after she kicked out her vile human mother from her bar. Of course she could feel the budding crush Tara had on her through their blood bond and as a vampire with a more than healthy sex drive she can see that her progeny is fucking gorgeous, but that's irrelevant. What truly shocked Pam was that she actually cared for this girl she had been trying to kill not more than a few days ago before she was turned. Pam is starting to understand why Tara is so bitter, why she can't seem to have fun even when it's presented right in front of her and what can she say, she's a sucker for that and has already allowed Tara a lot of things she didn't think she'd cave in. She muses that's the nurturer in her that Eric always teased her about.
She feels very guilty now about leaving her behind but Pam trusts Tara will be more than capable of taking care of herself. Tara likes Jessica, so at least she has her for company. She likes Jessica too, would go as far as to say she trusts her but Jessica will always be Bill's first and that's why she keeps her at arm's length.
Now, Willa… Willa, Eric's new progeny, was fucking weird. She turned out of nowhere and became a vampire as the result of her Maker losing every inch of political strategy he had left in the years they've spent in Louisiana. She still hadn't figured out how Willa felt about Eric or about her whole situation, really. She seemed just ecstatic to be a vampire.
Willa was also really nice to Pam, which puzzled her most out of everything. Didn't Willa remember that she had wanted to chop her to pieces and send her on a box as political leverage? –she didn't say she was better than her Maker at planning. So, Pam didn't hate Willa anymore because she was pretty much harmless, but she still hated everything her presence meant. The memory of Eric and her on the New Year's Eve of 1990, and how he promised her that he'd never grow bored of her and make another progeny still stung everytime she saw the girl walking around.
So, she didn't have time to be Willa's doting vampire big sister and she was leaving. She hoped Tara understood she wasn't abandoning her, just, you know, searching for the thousand-year-old, probably suicidal Viking vampire who needed no protection whatsoever… Yeah, there was no way she was going to leave Bon Temps with peace of mind and Tara wouldn't be rightfully pissed off at her.
You see, her progeny loathes her Maker and she is almost absolutely sure that the feeling is mutual with Eric. She kind of hates it. She thinks she understands where Tara is coming from because she had mostly seen her with Eric at their very worst and she guesses it's just a progeny's thing, to be awfully protective of their Makers, but damn if it didn't piss her off when Tara got all possessive and jealous and downright unpleasant to Eric and then slammed him to her face, because that really, really annoyed her. She cared for Tara, yes, but Eric was everything to her. And she would be damned if she doesn't try to save what they had. She doesn't want to live the rest of her existence thinking she stood idly by in the middle of the town she hates so much instead of trying to knock some sense into him.
She's stalling, she also knows. She's has been preparing everything to leave for a week; even as Willa's daddy had stripped as many vampires as he could in the South of their private properties and was the reason she was keeping herself and her baby vampires on tow living at a fucking hostel for now, she still had money left in banks out of the hellish state they live in. Eric had been one, if not the main target of Burrell's raid and by extension, she was as well, story of her damn life. Their beloved bar, Fangtasia, had been taken from them since the moment they were taken as prisoners. Eric's homes in Louisiana and the house she had in Shreveport on her name, had also been sold by some of Governor Burrell's cronies, but by pure chance, her beloved Pink convertible had managed to stay hid at Ginger's house.
She had probably been brooding out loud and clear for too long, because her progeny bursts in the room she's been occupying, a wary look on her face.
-Pam, what's wrong?
-I'm thinking- she mumbled, avoiding Tara's eyes. Come on, Pam, don't be a pussy and tell her.
-Oh my God! Are you still brooding over Eric? - Tara exclaimed and the exasperation she felt was clearly written on her face. And was that pity? Pam hoped it wasn't pity; she wasn't above knocking down Tara a few pegs off her high horse.
-You have no idea what you're talking about, Tara…
-Yes, I do! Look at Willa; she doesn't even notice Eric is gone anymore. She's out there, living her life and after the shit we went through at camp, we ought to!
Pam rolled her eyes and made herself count mentally backwards from ten so she wouldn't lash out at Tara. Well, not as harshly as she intended.
-How dare you compare that little girl's stupid crush with being with someone for a hundred years? Tara, please. Don't tell me how much I can relate to Willa ever again.
-Are you sure you aren't romanticizing your relationship with Eric? - Tara fired back, as insolent and smart-ass and in possession of her death wish as ever.
-Shut your mouth!- Pam hissed, pinning Tara with a glare that would have left the other vampire with her face a pulp, bloody mess if glares could do such a thing – I'm not going to explain to you my fucking feelings.
-So, what? You are going to stay here every night and wish you were back in the last century with your precious Eric or what?
Pam looked at Tara's furious face and for a split second, considered staying. The urge to get out of Bon Temps and chase after her last chance of something she's known and loved her whole life ends up being stronger. She feels so fucking trapped all the time, and she's come to realize that after being unhappy and out of touch with yourself for as long as she'd been, there comes a moment when you hit a wall and you simply can't go on and that very selfish part of her wins out. She's not abandoning Tara, she tells herself one more time. She just wants to see Eric.
-No- she grits out – I'm going to actually do something about it.
A flash of pure betrayal crosses Tara's eyes and that leaves Pam puzzled. She knows they have bonded but please, if Eric had left her when she was a couple of months old to come back, she'd have understood. At least that's what she thinks so, she and Eric barely had time left to do anything else beside fuck like horny rabbits during those first months. Yes, that convinces her that this whole little town life routine is becoming too forced for her, and challengingly meets Tara's eye.
-Don't tell me you're going after him, Pam- Tara tells her and her voice is so sincere that yes, it does something to her cold dead heart - He doesn't know what he's missing in you.
-Tara, I'm coming back- she tells her in a soft voice and closes the distance between them a little so she can caress her face – But please, try to understand that I have to do this.
It could have been as easy as that, but no, Tara has to always make everything a pain in the ass. She guesses she likes that, but most of the time, it infuriates her.
-You've got to be shitting me, vampire Barbie- Tara hisses and Pam has to bite a grin at "Vampire Barbie." She always liked that insult, ever since the first time she heard it from Tara's voodoo queen of a cousin, Lafayette – You are such a selfish bitch, why did you even turn me?
Pam remains silent, as she doesn't think that blurting out an "I wanted Miss Fairy Snatch to help me find my Maker" would help their current discussion.
-Tara, don't go pretending like this was something we both wanted- Pam says and Tara's eyes are clearly hurt so she quickly backtracks her choice of words – Look, I don't regret making you and I don't want to release you, but don't act like you'd have willingly taken this life.
Tara just stares at her and both vampires are caught in an uncomfortable silence. Pam is itching to get going with her plan. Her mind is in dire need of a mission, of a purpose.
"I'm leaving; I've talked to Jessica today. She says you and Willa can stay with her. I totally understand if you don't want to be around Billith. I guess you can always ask Sookie for the cubby I paid for in her house" Pam tells Tara, walking away from her progeny and feeling the waves of anger and resentment in her blood.
-I can't believe you- Tara says one more time.
-Take care of yourself, will you? - Pam asks softly.
-You and Eric are the worst fucking Makers ever- Tara almost literally barked at her and Pam was sure that by the time they came back, Willa will be hating both of them with a passion as much as Tara does right now.
-Yeah, well- she gave her progeny a last, helpless shrug and dashed out of the room in vampire speed, not wanting to say awkward goodbyes to anyone else.