And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known

(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)

Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time

Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!

The words play over and over again in my mind and every time I hear them it's like I'm hearing them for the first time, but even worse, because whenever I think I have forgotten them, I hear the music and I know what's coming but I can't do anything to prevent myself from hearing them over and over again: it's as though someone has pushed me over and waited until I was just about to get myself up off the ground before kicking me. I feel like my entire world is crumbling around me, everything I thought I knew, suddenly hidden behind fog and forming strange, twisting shapes and I'm unsure of what everything means. I don't know what to believe anymore, or who I can trust.

I thought that I could trust Mungojerrie. He was charming, sweet, funny, daring, impulsive, irritating ... and I loved him for being all of those things. There was an innocence about him ... he had this kittenlike curiousity about everything. It was vey endearing. He was my best friend ... I thought that I knew everything about him.

However, I didn't know that he worked for Macavity.

I mean, Macavity! The Hidden Paw, the Naopleon of Crime! The cat who destroyed my old home, killed my old tribe, made me an orphan! How can Mungojerrie, my dear sweet Jerrie, work for him? I know Mungojerrie and he would never -

A new thought has crept into my mind and it isn't a pleasant one: I don't know if Mungojerrie ever existed, or if it was all just an act to get me to trust him, to help him in his crimes, to get into the Junkyard and earn the trust of the rest of the Jellicles ... he was using me the entire time.

I hear footsteps behind me and an oh-so familar scent hits my nose: he's here.

I turn around to look at him: his bottle-green eyes are wide and he looks worried. ''Teazer? Are ya okay? I've bin lookin' all over the place, tryin' ta find ya ... you kinda vanished on everyone after The Ball ... '' his eyes narrow and he studies my face, my eyes, slightly blood-shot from all of the crying I've been doing, my trembling lip, my hair, which I've spent the last few hours running my claws through out of stress.

''Teaze?'' he asks, moving towards me. I take a step backwards, shaking my head. He looks highly affronted and concerned. He's a very good actor.

I can't stop shaking: I know that I should give him a chance to explain but ... I just can't. I don't want him to confirm my fears ... I wouldn't mind him lying to me ... as long as he tells me it isn't true. That what Demeter said, it was just part of the song, a little inside-joke because of course Mungojerrie would never work for Macavity! He wouldn't ...

I hope.

''Tell me it isn't true Jerrie ...'' I whisper. ''Tell me it's not true. That's it's a joke or something, anything! Please.''

He cocks his head to one side and takes a few steps towards me: this time I don't back away. I want to look into his beautiful green eyes and know that everything will be okay. ''Wha' do ya mean Teazer?'' he asks me, sounding so genuinely confused that I am almost sure that what Demeter said was false.

But almost isn't enough: I have to be sure.

''They said you work for Macavity!'' I tell him. ''It isn't true, is it?'' I let out a nervous little giggle. ''I mean, of course you don' work for 'im ... o' course no ... I'm bein' silly, silly lil' Teazer, tha's me!''

Mungojerrie is silent for a couple of seconds and I feel a twinge of doubt. Then his face splits into a smile and he laughs. ''O' coruse no'!'' he says. ''Those silly queens don' know nothin'!''

''Oh ... tha's good ta know ...'' I reply.

''Mmm hmm ... shall we 'ead 'ome?''

I nod and take his paw and the two of us walk through the Junkyard and out onto the street. I try to be happy, I really do ... I got what I wanted. He told me it wasn't true ... but I saw the flicker of panic in his eyes, how forced his smile was ...

And I know that what he said wasn't true.

This is my ''farewell'' story, because I'll be away for three weeks and won't be able to post anything.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this!

- ineffieffie