Been thinking about you, and there's no rest
Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself, what do you care
When I'm not there
In the bathroom of her small apartment, Haruno Sakura sat on the warm tiles of the shower basin as a harsh spray of near scolding water hit her skin. It was a habit that began each time she showered now. She'd turn the dial as high as it would go and then sit beneath, arms wrapped round her knees, feeling the water pound her head and back.
She felt as if the hot water and steam might wash away her worries along with the dirt of a heavy days training. She'd been sitting there for an hour now, curled about herself; pink hair dripping, skin reddening and fingertips wrinkled. She ran them lightly over her lips feeling the peculiar sensation of the bumps and hollows.
The bathroom door she hadn't locked since she lived alone now crept open and she knew without looking who had come in. Who else would dare peep on the Godaime's apprentice in the shower? She braced her arms once more around her legs.
"You can't come in here anymore Sasuke. We're not together. We never were." Her voice sounded tired and dejected even to her.
The imperturbable dark haired man wore a high-necked variation of the standard ANBU uniform with his mask held beside him in his hand. Ignoring her words he came in further and sat on the chair beside the door that faced her back. His face was blank and he obviously had no attachment that inhibited him in starting a conversation when one of them was dressed in just their skin.
"You've been in here over an hour Sakura." He spoke quietly with no intonation. You'd think he wasn't facing the naked body of his former lover and team-mate.
Despite her despondency and an underlying embarrassment, she was at the same time saddened that he couldn't call a single vestige of emotion even now. She hated that she was suspicious that his apparent concern might just as easily be impatience. She never could read him after all, always giving him emotions that were never there. Sometimes she wondered how much of her Sasuke dwelled in her imagination and how much was real.
"It was never going to be what you wanted" He continued after she said nothing "You weren't enough for me and I will never be right for you."
Biting the edge of her thumb at that hint of her 'unworthiness', she knew that little had changed since the formation of Team 7. He'd slowly started to respect her abilities after his return, enough to consent to a brief fling even, but part of her knew that it had been at her own instigation.
Darkly she wondered if it hadn't all been a detached way of giving her what she wanted before laying it all to rest. In catching him she'd found she'd never had him at all.
Exhaling softly she lifted her head yet never once turned to face him.
"You're no longer the centre of my life Sasuke. I won't pine after you. Just let me deal with it in my own way."
His dubious, and slightly patronising, expression obviously held doubt about the positive aspects of sitting in the shower and wallowing.
"Sakura…"
"Get out Sasuke."
He didn't move but sat there silently, appraising her. She despised the feeling that his cold eyes were judging her, maybe finding her lacking.
"Out!"
He straightened and moved towards the door with the graceful movement of a born shinobi, pulling it closed behind him with a faint click.
Sakura leant her head back down. Sitting there a minute, she sighed before standing up under the barrage and turning the dial to a more reasonable temperature. Maybe it was time to get on with life she decided before continuing with her usual ritual of shave, shampoo and scrub.
She exited the bathroom a quarter of an hour later dressed in faded grey sweats, a sky blue t-shirt and a towel wrapped round her head turban style. Picking up a green apple from a bowl on the kitchen surface she quickly checked whether Sasuke had left before noticing a figure outside the window of the adjoining living room.
The shock of silver hair over a slanted forehead protector, mask and jonin uniform was immediately identifiable, as was the ever-present orange book lying limp in one hand. He had obviously moved slightly to alert her of his presence. With a wry smile she picked up another apple from the bowl and walked over to him. Perching herself on the inside window seat, she passed the extra fruit beneath the pane to the slouching man on the outside ledge.
"Everything okay?" He mumbled as a forefinger tapped the cover of his book. The other hand reached up and ever so slowly pulled down his mask. He took a large bite of the proffered apple causing a little juice to roll from the corner of his lips down his chin. Sakura smiled.
"Fine."