Cultivating Happiness (a LeviMika fanfic)
Summary: modern day au. Mikasa asks Levi for help fixing her garden, which leads to something more.
Rating: T
Notes: This contains references to past depression and the occasional swear. But overall a happy story.
Author notes: This is a sort of epilogue to Broken Bird, which I havent written or posted yet. But this can be read by itself. Anyway. Enjoy the story.
It was a sweltering hot day, right in the middle of summer, and the town was suffering in a heatwave of record temperatures. The people were either out enjoying the sun or trying to stay cool indoors. Mikasa Ackerman was one of the former, and planned to make the most out of the good weather by working on the garden in her new home. She needed some help in doing this, so one morning after she decided to call Levi for help. Just the other day she'd planned to completely gut the garden and get rid of all the dead bushes and shrubs, and dig up all the obnoxious weeds that had sprung up. The previous owners of the house really had left it in a horrible state. There wasn't even any grass or anything – just a lot of dirt scraped into a pile which needed to be levelled out. Large rocks and stones were scattered about, and there was not a living plant to be seen. When she first moved into the place and saw the awful mess of a garden, her heart had sank into the floor.
There's no way I can fix this mess on my own. She'd thought. I know I'm strong, but this is just too much work for one person.
It was on that day that she planned to enlist Levi for help. And today she was going to make the call.
She brushed her hair behind her ear as she took the phone out of its holder, thankful to her past self for cutting it. Long hair was a pain in the summer. Her fingers gripped the phone tightly as she tried to still her nerves.
"Okay Mikasa." she told herself, psyching herself up, "You can do this. It's just like calling a client at the vet surgery. He's a person, just like you."
she took a deep breath in and closed her eyes, breathing out slowly in an attempt to banish her nervousness. If she sounded like a babbling bundle of nerves, he would just think she was strange, and then she would lose any chance she had at spending time with him. She opened her eyes and steeled herself before dialling his number. She stood nervously, fidgeting from foot to foot, clutching the phone receiver to her ear. Her free hand fiddling with the cord connecting the receiver to the phone as she listened to it ring.
"Remember, Mikasa," she told herself. "Be confident. He's just a boy that you just happen to like."
She waited patiently for Levi to pick up the phone. Listening to it ring and quietly rehearsing in her head what she was going to say. She could just imagine Levi in his house, stomping out of his bedroom and down the stairs to answer the phone. All the while grumbling to himself and asking the empty house what shitty little brat was calling so early in the morning. And how the person better not be another one of those fucking annoying PPI insurance salespeople or else.
After a few moments, the call connected. Mikasa could hear him sigh as he answered her call.
"Yeah, what do you want?" he drawled. Clearly he was not a morning person.
"Oh, Levi," Mikasa answered, feeling her voice was suddenly high and shrill at hearing his voice. "Hello. It's Mikasa."
Mikasa could feel her face going red and hot. Damn, she cursed herself. How can just his voice make me act like a shy little schoolgirl?
"Oh, Mikasa." Levi answered, his tone softening considerable when he realised who was calling. "Hey. Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Great actually. Listen, I'm so sorry to call you so early, but I need to ask you a favour..."
"Oh. Sure. What do you need?"
Mikasa cleared her throat and untangled the telephone cord from her fingers.
"Well, you see... um..."
"Are you having a bad day?" Levi asked, concern in his voice. "Do you want me to come over?"
"What?" Mikasa exclaimed. "No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" he pressed. "Because you can talk to me about anything, you know?"
Mikasa smiled. For all Levi's gruffness, he really did care about people. Ever since her... depression episode last year, he'd been looking out for her. Always made sure she knew she wasn't on her own with her problems. That she had him, Eren and her family there to support her. It was nice, she felt, to have someone care about you like that.
"I know, Levi." she said.
"Alright. Good." he responded. "So what was this favour you wanted to ask me?"
"Oh, yes. Well, you see, I need someone to come and help me do up my new garden." she began, her nervousness melting away the more she talked. Levi had that effect on people, the ability to put people at ease. Especially his staff and clients at the veterinary surgery. Mikasa couldn't have asked for a better head vet as a mentor when she became a veterinary nurse at his practice.
"And I was wondering if you'd like to come and help. I mean, I know I'm strong, but the whole garden is basically weeds and dirt. And the bags of gravel I want to put down around the edges weigh a ton. And there's a lot of them."
There was a short pause before he answered, and for a horribly long moment Mikasa feared he would say that no, sorry, but he's busy or on call this weekend, even has plans with someone else. She didn't even realise she was holding her breath until he answered her.
"Yeah, sure. I'll come over and help out." he said. "Your garden looks like shit. We need to fix that asap."
Mikasa let out a sigh of relief. "Great!" she chirped. She wanted to squeal. Now they could spend the whole day together. "Thankyou, Levi!" she beamed. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this."
"Alright, calm down." he replied. "I'll be there in a couple of hours. See you soon."
"Bye, Levi."
When he hung up and the dial tone could be heard again, Mikasa pulled the receiver away from her ear and gently set it back in its cradle. Her mind was bubbling with excitement. She could have danced around the house, singing. Although she knew if she did that she'd probably wake up the neighbours again. The walls of her little terraced house were not the thickest of things. But it had been a small price to pay to be able to live close to Eren and her friends. And Levi. Who would be here in a couple of hours time.
She couldn't help the blush that coloured her face a delicate red at the thought of it. This would be one of the first times they would spend time alone together outside of work. She smiled to herself, the wide grin spreading across her face. Hopefully it would be the first of many days together. Going on dates, getting coffee together, walking hand in hand through the park in the spring... Mikasa wanted to do all those things with him. She hoped he did, too.
She walked back through her living room, feeling more and more confident that today would be a good day. There was a smile on her face and a spring in her step, something she'd been missing for a long time. Especially since last year. But now that was changing, and her outlook on life had drastically improved. She was happier, healthier. Slowly growing back to herself again. Someone who could feel things again instead of just a crushing emptiness.
It had been Levi who'd helped her get through that emptiness. Along with Eren. If not for him or Levi, she wouldn't be here right now. She wouldn't have clung desperately to life even though she'd wanted it to be over. She would have given up. If they weren't there for her. Levi had once said that he loved her smile, so she wanted to show him that smile. And how much better she felt. It also helped that today was the last day she would need to take her antidepressant medication.
She lifted the little box off the coffee table as she passed it and opened it. Pulling out the little packet inside. She punched out the last pill inside, swallowing it dry. She then skipped into the kitchen, clutching the empty box of pills. Her bare feet padding softly on the cool linoleum floor.
"No more of these for me." she sang as she pushed her foot down on the pedal to lift the lid of the bin. She dropped the empty box into it. When it hit the bottom with a thud, she took her foot off the pedal and the lid closed again.
That's the last one of those I'll throw away. She realised. Later, the worry about any potential withdrawal symptoms would come, despite the doctor gradually weaning her off the medication. But for now, Mikasa decided to just enjoy her day and not think about it.
It was just coming up to ten o clock by the time Levi rang the doorbell. Mikasa was sitting in her garden chair with a cup of warm tea reading a book when she heard the bing-bong of the doorbell. She gasped quietly when she heard the noise.
Levi's here!
She sat her mug of tea down on the patio and got up, leaving her book on the chair before running back into the house. She only stopped for one last quick look in the living room mirror to make sure she looked presentable. She'd brushed her hair until it shone, and put on a cute sleeveless blouse in a light pink. She'd ditched her grubby gardening jeans into a pair of dark denim shorts that came down to her upper thigh, showing off her legs. She'd been going to the gym lately after work to get in shape and tone up her body, and she wanted to show it off. And who better to show it off to than Levi?
The doorbell rang again and, and Mikasa could just hear Levi impatiently grumbling for her to hurry up and open the door because his arms were getting tired from carrying this thing. Whatever "this thing" was.
"I'm coming!" she called out, allowing herself a few extra seconds to smooth down her blouse before going to answer the door. "Jeez, don't be so impatient."
She unlocked the front door to find Levi standing under her porch, holding a large, sap green coloured plastic flowerpot. Inside it was the most beautiful flowering shrub Mikasa had ever seen... The flowers on the shrub were a bright pink, and they covered the entire plant. Far outnumbering the leaves of the plant. Upon closer look, she could see that each of the delicate looking flowers had five petals each, and not a single was was damaged or dying.
"Hey." Levi greeted her.
"Hey." she smiled. "That's a beautiful shrub." she commented. "Where did you get it?"
"I got it from the market this morning." he replied, keeping his tone casual. "It's a japanese azaelea."
"Well, it's very pretty."
He smiled at her words. A rare thing for Levi. He was a man who saved his smiles for the people he genuinely cared about. And the animal patients at their clinic. It turned out that Levi was a sucker for the cats that came into the surgery, giving them a fuss after their surgery when they'd woken up from the anaesthetic. He even kept a jar of treats in his consultation room, for the more nervous animals.
"I'm glad you like it." he said. "I thought it would look good in your new garden after we did the place up."
Mikasa blinked, surprised. "You... you got this for me?"
"No. I carried it all the way here for fun." he answered, his voice thick with playful sarcasm. "Of course I got it for you, dumdum."
Mikasa could feel her cheeks grow hot. "Oh." she managed to get out. "Thankyou."
He held it out to her. "Here, take this off me, my arms are starting to ache."
"Oh!" she gasped, "Yes."
She took the gorgeous plant off him and carried it inside into the hallway, while he followed her in.
"Just make yourself comfortable." she told him as they entered the living room. Levi sat down on her sofa and Mikasa set the plant down in the corner. Somewhere out the way, but somewhere she could still see it when she relaxed after work. When the garden was done, she'd move it outside into the fresh air.
"You'll want to put that in a sunny spot when you move it outside." Levi commented. "The bees love it."
Mikasa looked up from her crouched position and smiled gently up at him.
"Oh, don't worry, I know the perfect spot to put it in. At the back, by the fence. Right in the sunshine where I can see it from my bench on the patio I put down last week."
She closed her eyes and lowered her nose to the flowers, taking a large sniff. The flowers gave off a gentle fragrance, and Mikasa thought the scent absolutely delightful.
"Mmm. No wonder the bees love it." she said. "It smells lovely."
"Yeah." Levi replied. "They couldn't get enough of it on the way over here. Little shits kept flying into my face and following me down the street."
Mikasa couldn't help but laugh. She could just imagine an angry Levi being followed by a small swarm of honeybees, growing more and more annoyed at them when one would fly into his path. The thought was quite comical. Levi cursing the honeybees while carrying a large bee magnet as he walked down the street.
"Well, you'll be pleased to know all your trouble with the bees was worth it ," she told him, "Because I really love my new plant."
Levi's next smile was warm, gentle even. It was a smile that softened his face and reached his eyes, knocking years off his appearance.
"I'm really glad, Mikasa." he said. "I'm just happy to see you smiling. You haven't really smiled in... such a long time."
Mikasa bowed her head, glancing again at the shrub's pretty flowers as she rose to her feet. "I know." she answered, moving to sit beside him on the sofa. "I was... I was ill."
She pressed her lips together, taking a moment to compose herself. She didn't like talking about that part of her life. How bad it was. Talking about it just reminded her of that dark, black hole of emptiness that used to swirl about inside her, taking away all the happiness in her world.
And why that black hole used to be there.
Levi nodded. Knowing not to discuss the matter any further.
"But you're happy now." he told her. "That's what matters."
She smiled and nodded firmly. "Yes. That's what matters."
Levi smiled in agreement and checked his watch. The morning was getting on, and if they didn't start work on the garden soon then half the day would have gone by with nothing to show for it.
"Come on, Mikasa." he said getting to his feet. "Let's get a look at this garden of yours and see just how bad it is."
"Alright." she answered, pushing herself off the sofa, ready to lead him through to the kitchen and out to the garden. "But I have to warn you, it's a real mess at the moment."
Levi followed her dutifully into the kitchen and waited as she put on her blue canvas trainers. Watching her slender fingers tie up the laces. When she was done she hopped up and opened the back door for him, gesturing for him to go first. He'd only walked a few paces into the garden when he stopped to survey the scene. The place was a complete tip. Everywhere was just overgrown with weeds – large weeds. At the back by the fence were green flowerpots that once upon a time had been a lovely clean brown. Each one containing a dried up, shrivelled, dead plant or tree. There was no grass to be seen at all, although dotted randomly among the weeds there was the occasional wildflower, and surprisingly, the odd colourful pansy. Levi could see they had their work cut out for them just to tidy it up. Mikasa had done some work on it; laying down a patio by the back door where she'd put her outdoor chairs and table and installed a new greenhouse for her veggies. She'd also laid down a patio at the back in the corner in the sun, and put her garden bench from ikea there. But everywhere else needed a lot of work to make it look even remotely tidy.
Levi whistled as he took in the atrocity.
"This place is a dump!" he exclaimed. "What did the last owners do to this place?!"
Mikasa, who was standing beside him, frowned.
"I told you it was a mess." she said. "That's why I asked you to help me. There's no way I can fix all this by myself."
Levi turned to face her. "Well you called the right person." he told her. "I'm good with gardens. Between us we can make your garden rival that of Buckingham Palace."
Mikasa smirked. "It would be nice to beat the queen at something." she agreed, her voice light and playful. "Even if it is just who has the better garden."
"Alright then. Let's get to work." Levi stated. "Where do you keep your tools?"
"In the greenhouse." Mikasa pointed at the shiny new structure on the patio.
"Perfect. We'll grab some shovels and start with those god awful weeds."
And so it was that the pair of them started to dig up and throw out the weeds that were dominating the garden. They worked through the morning, until around noon the heat from the sun became unbearable. Both of them were covered in a light sheen of sweat, and Mikasa was grateful she'd put her shorts on instead of her gardening jeans, so she didn't have clothes sticking to her skin and she could feel the summer breeze. Levi on the other hand, was wearing a tight fitting white t-shirt that clung to him, and let Mikasa see the outline of all his muscles. He was also wearing jeans, which he'd rolled up to his knees about an hour ago to try and keep cool. When that failed, he took off his t-shirt, which led to Mikasa doing a lot of staring. Thankfully he didn't notice it. Or if he did, he wasn't saying anything about it. Thankfully.
Mikasa yanked up another dead bush from the dirt and tossed it into the large green wheelie bin, sighing and wiping her forehead with her forearm.
Damn,this is hard work. She thought. They'd been digging up these stupid weeds all morning and they still had a way to go before they were all cleared. She was beginning to regret buying a house with such a big garden.
"Jeez, what did the previous owners do to this place?" she groaned. "Plant weeds and dead trees instead of flowers?!"
Levi looked around at her. "Who knows?" he said. "Maybe they liked weeds?"
Mikasa frowned, scrunching up
her face. "People like that are weirdos." she huffed.
Levi smirked at her. "Ha. Says you who has a little plantpot with a cluster of bright yellow dandelions in your kitchen window."
Mikasa frowned. Clearly not impressed with his teasing.
"shut up." she grumbled. "Eating dandelions is healthy for you."
"If you say so." Levi said dismissively, continuing on with his digging.
"I do say so." she answered back, her voice forceful. "They taste good. I'll prove it to you. I'll make you the best tasting salad you ever had!"
Levi stopped mid-dig, standing straight and turning to face her, his eyebrows raised questioningly.
"Are you offering to make me lunch?" he asked.
Mikasa fought to contain her embarrassment at his directness. "Yes." she answered, feeling her cheeks grow hot again. "I suppose I am."
He smiled at her again. Another gentle smile that reached his eyes. "I'd like that." he said softly.
Mikasa was just stunned into silence. "You... You would?"
Levi rolled his eyes. "Didn't I just say that, dumdum?" he replied. "I really like you, Mikasa. You're beautiful, you're kind... and most of all, you're strong."
Strong. Mikasa thought. The word resonating within her. Strong. It was not a word she'd often associated herself with. And yet, she felt the word grow inside her. Speaking it's truth. Yes. She told herself. Strong. I am strong. I'm a survivor. I survived. Clung to life when living was unthinkable. Strong... I'm strong. But only because people helped me...
"Yes." she said quietly. "I'm strong." The words were hesitant, but long overdue. Because for months, when everything seemed its bleakest, the illness had been telling her she was weak.
"But I'm only strong because you helped me to be."
Levi stood staring at her for a moment, silent. Digesting her words.
"Levi?" she asked, when the silence grew too much. What is he thinking? "Levi?"
She wished she could read his mind as he took a step towards her, closing the gap between them. They were standing so close now, she could feel her heart beating against her chest.
"Levi, what are you-"
Her words were cut off by his lips on hers. He'd stood on one of the large rocks by their feet so he stood tall enough to do so, and reached up to give her a long, lingering kiss. And a thousand metaphorical butterflies took flight inside Mikasa's stomach at the touch of his soft lips.
When he broke away and stepped down again, Mikasa's cheeks were flushed and pink.
"That was all I wanted." Levi told her, "To help you grow strong enough to get better. To be happy again."
Mikasa's lips curled up into a tender smile, her cheeks fading to their usual colour again.
"Well," she said, slipping her hand into his. "I definitely couldn't have done it without you."
She looked up and their eyes met for a moment. And in his eyes Mikasa could see a deep affection, and joy that she was still here with him and not dead in the ground. It was something she felt in herself, a joy of being alive, which lay somewhere next to her affection for Levi. Perhaps they could cultivate some happiness together, along with her garden. Mikasa smiled at the thought.
"Come on, Levi." she said, gently pulling his hand, "Let's have some lunch and a drink. I remember promising you a dandelion salad."