Author's note: here's the first (rewritten) chapter , daily updates and reviews more than appreciated.

Chapter One – The Pact

August 2010

"Why the sad face? Shouldn't you be happy? It's your birthday!" Jane had hesitated for long seconds before asking Maura about her current state of mind. It neither matched the context nor her friend's temper. A latent anxiety had finally won over her uncertainty and she had let the words come out in a way she hoped casual enough. "You can sell your presents on Ebay if you don't like them, you know. I won't say it to anyone."

A glass of Champagne in hand, Maura smiled at the suggestion and shook her head. She knew that Jane was simply joking. She didn't have to take her friend's words literally. Not this time.

"Everything is fine. I am not sad but pensive." Alright, and maybe a tad bitter if she were to be completely honest.

All the guests had left but Jane and the Beacon Hill house had plunged back into its usual quietness but for some reason the silence suddenly weighed a lot on Maura. Way too much, actually. It pressed on her shoulders and made her doubt about a thousand things.

She knew that it wasn't time for introspection yet it was exactly what was happening.

"I've known you in happier pensive moments then." Jane turned around and pretended to look for something in the fridge. She didn't fool anyone though. She simply wanted to escape Maura's eyes on her. Her boldness took them both aback. "You're still young if that's what you're thinking of."

"About. Thinking about. And I know that, thank you." Yet the passing of time was exactly what had kept her mind busy and lost in a fog of doubts for the last minutes now. "Jane?"

Jane turned around – reluctantly enough – and raised her eyebrows as she waited for Maura to resume her talking.

What was going on? The evening had taken an unexpected turn, a very odd one that left her rather confused. The joy and lightness of the celebration were long gone now. The atmosphere had darkened and heavily weighed above their heads; upon their shoulders.

"No..." Maura shook her head and waved an apologetic hand before looking down at the kitchen counter. "Never mind."

"What? Nah, you can't stop now. Obviously there's something you wanna say so... Do it. Speak." Jane's words got no reaction. "C'mon, it's me. You know you can tell me absolutely everything."

The smirk that appeared on Maura's lips only managed to reflect her uncertainty. Jane could see that the words were trapped in her friend's throat, held back inside by her mind. What was so important that Maura didn't dare to speak out loud? Jane swallowed hard as a thousand scenarios rushed to her mind; darker and darker plots.

"It is just a crazy idea. As a matter of fact, I am convinced that it is caused by a general and mostly emotional fatigue. It has been a long day, a long week. Rather stressful. It is nothing that you really need to..."

"Oh, please! Will you just say it? What's going on? You're kinda scaring me." Jane approached her friend desperately trying to ignore the way her hands were now shaking. "You... You're okay, right? I mean you're healthy?"

The question made Maura burst out laughing. She hadn't assumed that her hesitation would push Jane to head into such direction.

"I am not sick! I simply turned thirty-five years old. Please tell me I didn't age that much within twenty-four hours. Do I suddenly look old and sick?" Yet touched by Jane's thought, Maura bit her lips and cupped her friend's cheek with her hand. "I am doing just fine. I am sorry if I scared you. It wasn't my intention at all."

Troubled by the sudden and rather unusual gesture of affection, Jane frowned and felt a burning sensation travel up her cheeks. Great. Why did she have to blush now? The whole scene was getting embarrassing.

"Then tell me what's wrong! Tell me what's going on... Are you going all existential because you turned thirty-five? I've been there before you. Believe me: it's just a number."

"I would say that it is a stage, one that makes me ponder about many things; about life itself, actually." Maura's tone of voice lowered of an octave as timidity wrapped up her mind. She knew the kind of impact her words would have on Jane but was she ready for such a change? "Have you ever thought about having children?"

The question took Jane completely aback. She certainly hadn't expected her friend to come up with such topic. Not now – at almost midnight – while they still had to clean the kitchen after a whole day of birthday celebrations.

"Ahem... Well... Have you?"

Answering a question by another question was extremely coward. Jane knew it but she hadn't found any other way to escape from something a bit too personal; something a bit too delicate.

She and Maura had been friends for a while now and it wasn't the first time that they both alluded to a possible future but they had never given into any kind of detail. They had always remained very blurry instead, wrapped up in a bubble of shyness and doubts.

"Sometimes... And maybe a bit more, tonight." As her nervousness showed in her shaking voice, Maura focused on her hands and tried to calm down her heartbeats.

She couldn't stop now. She couldn't stop halfway through her rather incongruous idea. She had revealed way too much already to not keep on talking.

"Maybe it's the alcohol. We kinda drank a lot today, you know. And it was hot." Jane shook her head, not really convinced by her own words. "It's never a good mix and we're tired too so that might explain the whole thing."

"Would you accept to have a child with me if you and I haven't found our respective significant other within the next five years?"

The silence that followed didn't reassure Maura the slightest bit. She had been way too direct, way too impulsive. Her question was anything but ordinary. She shouldn't have blurted it out like that.

Would she ever be able to properly socialize with anyone instead of sounding like a crazy woman?

"Yes."

...

This is when everything started. I looked up at Jane and knew that – at this exact moment – something had happened, something extremely important.

Perhaps it wouldn't go any further than a strange yet meaningful midnight pact between the two of us but it had been sealed nonetheless, without the slightest doubt in spite of what it implied.

Jane always says that she never hesitated, that the word 'yes' immediately made it to her mind and that the bare lapse of time that separated it from the moment it hit the air got caused by a wave of emotion she had a hard time to handle.

Your birth didn't happen before a very long time but you began to exist in our head on that August summer night.

She said yes and we turned the page. Immediately. We didn't try to define anything. We had five years to do it anyway. Five long years to prepare the path we had decided to take together.

Retrospectively, I think it is a bit crazy and yet I am convinced that it was simply meant to be. You know, the whole thing.

This story may be unusual but it is yours nonetheless. It is singular, beautiful and unique. Just the way you are. It got shaped in our head, in our heart. You are the best decision that we have ever taken in our life.

"To life".

It would come back like a mantra of some sort all along the journey that led to you. We would repeat it over and over because there was nothing selfish in our decision, nothing like the idea of leaving on Earth a part of us.

It was more of a spiritual journey, a very personal experience about existence; about being alive and sharing it with someone. We brought you to this world so you could see how beautiful it was.

Some would say we were foolish – naive even – because we had no idea what to expect, what was waiting for us at every single corner. It didn't turn to be as easy as we had assumed that it would be but along the road came you and many, many other things. How could we regret it?

You may wonder why we are telling you about all these things now. I guess it is simply because you have reached a brand new stage of your life and it is time for us to come back on who you are, on why you are here now.

And maybe you will finally understand why you make us so proud.

Jane and I wouldn't be here without you. We owe you everything, absolutely everything. We owe you our life. By giving one to you, you actually gave us one too.

We never hid any of this journey to you but it is now time for us to go further – to go deeper – and to offer you all the details that we might have missed so far. This story is the reason why you are here now, the reason why we can't but smile.

So here it goes...

To life.