A/N: Okey, my second fic. It's a series of letters, written by Jess to Rory. I know that the timeline is probably screwed up, but I needed it to be this way so it will work out in the end. Review please!
Disclaimer: I, the author of this story, do not own any of the characthers associated with Gilmore Girls. That honor belongs to the wonderful Amy Sherman-Palladino. I have no intention of making any money on this (in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm losing money over it...).
Philadelphia, 10.10.2007
Dear Rory,
It's been almost a year (294 days to be exact, and no, I didn't use Yahoo to find that out), and I know I shouldn't be writing. You probably have a good life going, you've got Logan (for all I know, and it doesn't seem like much these days), and he's the one that makes you happy, right? However, I still have this need or whatever, to send you this. You know me, I don't come off as 'low-key' exactly, and I was always annoyingly persistent.
Rory, we kissed. It wasn't me, it wasn't you, it was us. No matter what motives you had going on there, it was us. We kissed. I can admit that I made the move, but you responded. You've read my book, you know what made me write it. I think you know deep down inside I'll always have a thing for you, be it love or not (I tried talking to Matthew's poet, and he wasn't of much help, kept bringing Golda Meir into it…). You will always be my soft spot, and… I think I'm yours too. As far as I know, no one (not even Logan, and that says something) has hurt you as much as I have, and for that I will always kick my own ass. I left you, not only once, but… Well, let's just say I left you one time too many. I didn't handle things right, just like you said on the phone when I called you from Venice Beach. I just felt like I had disappointed you, made you turn away. I think I wanted to control the situation, be the one to leave, and then my dad turned up and left, and gave me the perfect excuse to skip town. Maybe I got the leaving part from him, who knows…
Anyway, I will always be a guy you remember, someone you think of in a different way. We are so alike, and still so different. I was not safe and loved by the town like Dean, I was not respected by your grandparents like Logan, and I'm not sure if I'm in Lorelai's good books yet. But you and me, we shared something, I don't know what really, it goes beyond the love for literature and the tendency to mercilessly mock movies we hate. Whatever dude came up with 'opposites attract' clearly must've had a vision of us two.
I don't regret the kiss at Truncheon, I've almost made my peace with you going back to the guy that cheated on you. Overall, I have few regrets, but what I do regret is the stupid mistakes in my youth, the ones that cost me you, the only person I didn't want to lose. I screwed up, and here's where that got me: a published, reasonably successful writer, yes, but also a guy with a heart that can never love anyone but you. I'm sorry.
I hope you're good.
Jess
P.S I finished The Fountainhead. I still don't know what she's rambling on about, and I still think she's a political nut. You owe me for bearing through Rand.
A/N: Okey, so good or bad? What do you think will happen next? ;)