One and Only
Jude's absolute favorite time of the day was when he was finally able to spend time with Connor at his house once Mr. Stevens was home. Not that Jude didn't like spending time with Connor at home with his family nearby, it was just that it got really crowded sometimes. The lack of people at Connor's house was always nice, as far as Jude was concerned.
"Hi, Mr. Stevens," Jude said as the door in front of him opened.
"Hey, Jude. Come on in. Connor's upstairs in his room doing some homework and I'm about to start dinner. You hanging around that long?" Connor's father asked.
"If you don't mind." Jude replied.
"Always happy to have you, Jude," Adam said, a slight hesitation in his voice. "I wonder though, if I might talk to you for a few minutes before you head up to see Connor?"
"Of course, sir. Is something wrong?" Jude asked, suddenly on edge.
"Well, see, that's what I was going to ask you."
"Huh?"
"I wanted to ask if something was wrong, see if maybe you and Connor had had a fight recently or something? Its just that for the last few weeks, since the two of you became, well, the two of you, Connor has been on cloud nine. I can honestly say that I have never seen my son this happy before." Adam stopped and offered Jude a genuine smile. "He's happy because of you and I know that. I'm man enough to accept it and admit. But then he came home from summer school two days ago and it was like a sudden rain cloud had settled over him. He was grumpy, well, grumpier than normal. We actually fought that night for the first time in weeks. He's spent the last two days closed up in his room, refusing to talk to me and explain what's going on. I just want to help him but I can't if I don't know what's happened. I was hoping you might be able to shed some light on things, Jude, cause I gotta be honest, I want my happy, on cloud nine Connor back."
When Jude's shoulders dropped, Adam knew the young boy knew exactly what was going on.
"Its my fault, sir." Jude admitted, defeat in his voice. "Connor wanted to come out to everyone at school and I didn't. I think I upset him. Well no, actually I know I upset him."
Adam sighed in confusion.
"Okay, kid, you gotta help me out here cause I'm confused. On one of the rare occasions that Connor actually opened up to me and talked to me about this stuff he told me something you said to him about a year ago. Something about you not wanting to be anyone's secret? You say that to him?" Adam asked.
"I did." Jude softly replied.
"Then what's changed? You ashamed of my son?" Adam dared to ask. Jude's response was exactly what he'd hoped for.
"What?!" Jude startled, eyes wide as he looked up at the older man. "How could I-why would I ever be ashamed of Connor?!"
"I dunno, kid, that's why I'm asking you."
"I have never been ashamed of Connor and I never will be ashamed of Connor. He's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. You said Connor's been happy lately? Well, sir, so have I. The happiest I've been in forever, I think. My life has sucked for so long and then I met your son and almost instantly he wanted to be my friend, even though I hardly ever spoke, even though kids at school picked on me, even though I was the weird kid that wanted to paint my nails. Despite all of that, Connor was always around, always there when I needed him."
"So then why all of a sudden do you not want anyone to know he's your boyfriend?"
Jude startled, again. It wasn't everyday he heard Mr. Stevens acknowledge that he and Connor were boyfriends. He'd been doing better with the situation. Of course it was still a difficult situation to deal with overall and Jude understood that. He couldn't blame him for being uneasy about the whole thing. It was completely new territory for everyone involved.
"Because, Mr. Stevens, I have always been the weird kid in school. Always the 'new kid' or the 'foster kid' and for a while I was 'the kid with the dead mother' which meant that someone was always, no matter where I was at, always picking on me. For once in my life I just want to be Jude. I don't want to have a label put on me. I don't want to be 'the gay kid' now even though," Jude took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Even though yes, I am gay. I am. I know that and Connor, I think, knows that. Now. I know I confused him and I tried to explain all this but even after Taylor outed us I still refused to acknowledge it and I guess I was wrong for acting like that because now Connor's upset and Mr. Stevens, I did not mean to upset him. I would never want to upset or hurt Connor. I, I love him." Jude finished, his eyes downcast and arms now wrapped around himself in defeat.
Adam sighed. Fuck all if he knew what he was supposed to do here. Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair and tugged slightly. This was not anything he'd ever imagined he'd have to deal with. But then, he didn't suppose his kid or Jude ever expected to deal with it either.
"Can I be honest with you Jude?" Adam asked. Jude nodded yes and he continued. "I have absolutely zero idea what to do here. I can only assume you don't exactly know either or we wouldn't be in this situation?"
"Yeah." Jude sighed.
"Have you talked to your moms about any of this?"
"No. They've got their hands full with all the other kids and I don't want to put anymore on their shoulders so I've just kinda been dealing with it myself."
"Doesn't sound like you've actually been dealing with it though." Adam said, hoping he was saying the right thing. "Wait, you said Taylor outed you guys at school? Okay then, problem solved. The kids knows. What's the big deal then if they know?"
"I'm still going to be the gay kid at school! I don't want to be anything but Jude! I shouldn't have to be anything but Jude! I didn't ask for any of this! I don't want to spend the days worrying if someone's going to decide today is the day we pick on the gay kid-"
"Kids." Adam corrected.
"Huh?" Jude's face screwed up in confusion.
"Gay kids, Jude. Its not just you that's going to be dealing with it. Its you. And its Connor. Together or separate, its going to be both of you dealing with this now. Don't forget that he's going through this too. He's dealing with something he, up until he met you, never dreamed he'd have to deal with. Not that I'm placing any blame on you, kid, cause I'm not. I know neither of you chose any of this. I get that now. But don't assume that its all sunshine and roses for Connor. He's in this with you. Right beside of you. Wanting and waiting for you to hold his hand in-between classes."
"He's what?" Jude's eyes widened. Adam chuckled.
"Kid, you have no idea how excited Connor has been for summer school to start so he can walk down those school hallways, holding your hand, because he's proud to be your boyfriend. Its all I've heard for weeks." Adam smiled. "Like I said, cloud nine."
Jude suddenly felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He felt tears begin to well up in his eyes.
"Awe, kid, I didn't mean to make you cry." Adam ushered Jude into their family room and sat him down on the couch. Taking a risk, he wrapped his around the boys shoulders and in an instant Jude was close to sobbing as he leaned into him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Jude said in-between near sobs.
"Jude, its okay. Its going to be fine. I promise. This is all going to work itself out and eventually you will look back on this and laugh about how silly it all was. I swear." Adam rubbed his hand up and down Jude's back, hoping to help calm the boy.
"How can I laugh about it? I've made Connor miserable, I've made myself miserable and why? Because I'm scared? Yeah. Yes, okay! I'm scared that the bullying will start back up and I don't want to deal with that anymore! Not for me or-or Connor! He doesn't deserve to deal with that crap because of me." Jude huffed as he wiped at his wet eyes.
"If anyone, ever, picks on either of you, you come straight to me and I will handle it." Adam said, his voice suddenly hard and cold.
"Really?" Jude looked up with surprise in his eyes.
"Of course!" Adam exclaimed. "I know your moms could and would deal with it but it involves me now and I refuse to sit on the sidelines knowing its happening and not doing my part to make it stop."
Jude never could have expected this sort of reaction from Connor's dad.
"I hope its okay to say this but, by extension, you're my kid too now and I'll be damned if anyone hurts you or Connor." Adam said, offering Jude a smile.
Tears began to well up in Jude's eyes again and Adam was sure he'd finally messed up and said the wrong thing. Until two skinny arms wrapped around him, hugging him tightly.
"Thank you." Jude whispered.
"Nothing to thank me for, kid. Connor loves you. I can admit that I see why now." Adam continued to smile as he returned Jude's hug. They'd come a long way in a few short weeks but Adam knew he'd made the right decision that day at the hospital when he'd finally let Jude see Connor.
"I uh, guess I should apologize too."
Jude and Adam both jumped at the sound of Connor's voice coming from behind them.
"How long you been there kid?" Adam sighed because of course Connor's heard them talking.
"Since around you saying I'd been on cloud nine for weeks, I think." Connor answered as he hobbled his way into the living room.
"So from the very beginning then?"
"Pretty much."
Jude refused to look up and meet Connor's eyes.
"Think I could talk to my boyfriend for a few minutes alone, dad?" Connor asked and despite the situation, Jude's heart thudded a little harder in his chest at the words.
"Sure thing, kid. Take your time. I've still got to get dinner started so its gonna be at least an hour or more before we eat. Kill some time and talk this shit out." Adam huffed as he got up from where he'd been sitting. He smiled at Jude and offered Connor a subtle wink. "Fix this." He finally said and left the room.
"Jude, will you please look at me?" Connor asked as he scooted closer to the smaller boy. Reaching out, he placed his around around Jude's shoulders and pulled him as close as he could.
"Don't see why you'd want to talk to me." Jude mumbled against Connor's shoulder.
"Uh, cause you're my boyfriend and that's what boyfriends do. Talk. Or so I'm told." Connor attempted to tease. The glare Jude gave him shut that down extremely fast. "Jude, please. I'm not mad at you or anything. I mean, obviously I'm not or I wouldn't be here."
"Maybe you shouldn't be. Maybe its pointless being with me." Jude's actions betrayed his words because even as he spoke Jude found himself wrapping his arms securely around Connor's waist and holding him tightly.
"Right. Okay."
"I'm serious, Connor! I've obviously got a lot more issues than I realized and its not fair of me to make you feel like I've made you feel and I-"
"And nothing, Jude. You can't help how you feel. Obviously I get that. So what we gotta do is try and work through the issues, right? You're scared to be couply at school? Okay fine. Done. We won't be. I can handle not holding your hand in-between classes. It sucks but its fine. I'm not going to force you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable."
"Holding your hand does not make me feel uncomfortable, Connor. I promise you that." Jude said, finally looking up at him. "I just, I know people are going to be mean about it and I have had a lifetimes worth of dealing with close minded bullies, so I just decided to stop it before it could start up again this time. Only I didn't explain that to you and I'm sorry."
"Okay, see, I get that. Shoulda just told me that from the beginning. But dude, you gotta know that I ain't gonna let that shit start up again, right?" Connor said, wincing slightly when his father's 'language, Connor!' came from the kitchen.
"I mean, yeah, I kind of figured you wouldn't deal with anyone picking on you."
"No, Jude. I mean I'm not going to let anyone pick on you. They can pick on me til we graduate, as long as they leave you alone. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't stand up for you?"
"A shitty one?" Jude said, a smirk on his face. Adam's 'language, Jude!' made both boys laugh.
"Exactly. So, there. Problem solved. I have no problem beating someone up with my crutches if they try and start anything with you." Connor laughed before adding in a much more serious voice. "I can take care of us. I will take care of us."
Jude felt himself melt at Connor's words. Never had he ever thought that this boy would one day be someone he could openly care about.
"Thank you," Jude said. "For understanding me and not getting mad."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again, I have tried to be mad at you before dude and it just does not work. You're too cute to stay mad at." The wink Connor gave Jude made the smaller boy giggle.
Adam let his head rest against the wall outside of the living room once he heard Jude's laugh. Things were going to be just fine. He'd have to remember to give Stef and Lena a call later and fill them in on everything that had happened today. He had a feeling they were going to be mighty proud of him for how he'd handled the situation. It was a huge relief knowing that he could handle this sort of thing now. Adam found that he was sort of proud of himself as silly as that was. Grinning to himself he made his way back to the kitchen to finish working on dinner.
Monday morning dawned bright and early for everyone except Jude, who found himself up before his alarm ever had a chance of going off. For once he made it to school before Connor and that suited Jude just fine as he sat down on a bench by the tree he'd left Connor sitting in only days before. Looking down at his painted blue nails, Jude smiled to himself. He knew he could do this and he was going to prove to himself, to Connor and to everyone else that he could and thst things would be okay when he did.
"Jude!" Connor's voice startled Jude out of his thoughts. He looked up just in time to see Connor come running towards him. No crutches in sight.
"No more crutches?" Jude asked with a huge smile.
"Nope. That's why I'm a little late this morning. Dad had to take me by the doctors office to get checked out and while I can't start back at baseball for another few weeks, I can at least lose the crutches!" Connor grinned, obviously very happy about not having to use the crutches anymore.
"Well, good. I'm happy. Those things were annoying." Jude scrunched up his nose in distaste.
Connor laughed and Jude grinned.
"So sorry that my crutches annoyed you so much." Connor teased, leaning in towards Jude to brush their shoulders together before he could stop himself. "Oh, I, um sorry." He said in a hurry.
Jude chose to ignore it, instead standing and adjusting his backpack on his shoulders.
"Whatever for?" He asked, casually holding his hand out towards Connor. Jude could see the second his boyfriend stopped breathing. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. "I mean, if you're apologizing for those annoying crutches, then apology accepted. If you're apologizing for anything else, then I'm afraid I don't understand." Jude smiled softly as he reached out and took Connor's hand in his own, lacing their fingers together and pulling the taller boy up.
"Jude..."
"We're going to be late for class, Connor, and you still need to stop by your locker and get your math book so let's go before the bell rings and we end up having to run and you end up messing your foot up again and I end up having to deal with those horrible crutches always getting in the way of me holding your hand."
The smile on Connor's face almost hurt to look at. Jude found himself dealing with it though since he was sure the smile on his face matched Connor's. With Connor's hand held tightly in his, Jude knew things were going to be okay. He wasn't sure why he every doubted they would be. He had Connor, after all. He got his boy. Obviously the universe was on his side.