Mixed Signals by Posh and Stoneygem

Part 1

The sound of raindrops against the windowsill was eerily loud in her ears. They disturbed her, driving her to distraction. Not that she minded a distraction. The trade agreement with the Union was exceptionally long and dull. Why she had agreed to check it for Mia, she didn't understand. Rising from her chair in her office, Clarisse, former queen of Genovia, stepped in front of the window to stare out onto the greyish-green lawn of the palace and heaved a sigh.

Early March - gods, how she despised this season. People, always said it smelled of spring, but to her, it was the time of the year, when everything seemed to be exceptionally dead and raw. As if with the snow melting, the merciful covering of the tortured nature had been removed and everything was cruelly dragged up for everybody to see. The weather was still cold and with the constant rain, the world seemed just bleak.

Clarisse sighed. Goodness, the weather certainly fit her mood. Bleak, grey and depressed. She shivered despite the warmth the heating and the fireplace provided. She felt cold inside that was the problem. Closing her eyes with another deep sigh, she contemplated how this could have happened. And how could it have happened so soon.

Naturally, she would have been the last one to consider herself a sexy or even alluring woman, but why did it deteriorate so quickly? They were married for barely nine months now and at night in their bed there was nothing anymore. Lately, he had even avoided touching her.

And oh how incredibly wonderful those nine months had been. It seemed that he couldn't get enough of her, of wanting to be near her every moment of the day, of wanting to spoil her with private gifts, of wanting to kiss her, to hold her, to whisper secret desires and fantasies…

Where had that all gone? She never expected it in the first place; sex had never been a major, or even minor, part of her life. With Rupert it was purely functional and after the boys were born it dwindled and disappeared which she didn't mind at all. However when she'd married Joseph she'd discovered an entirely new side of herself, from the wedding night he'd awoken passions in her that she never even realised existed. They'd honeymooned for only a week and for four days they hadn't even left their room. She felt herself blushing even now at the memory.

Sighing deeply she moved back to her desk and lifted her teacup to her lips then quickly swallowed and hastily replaced it on the saucer. It was stone cold. Just how long had she been sitting here anyway? She shuffled the papers on her desk, too long."Oh Clarisse get a grip on yourself…" She chastised leaning back in her chair. It wasn't as if they were teenagers anymore, they weren't in the first flush of romance and heady sexual tension. Yet still… still she felt altogether, well, frustrated. How could this man awaken all these desires and wants and needs and then simply begin to ignore her in that way?

She thought nothing of it when they'd gone a week without making love, after two it occurred to her that Joseph hadn't touched her intimately for a while. After three she began to worry, there were no early morning cuddles, no more evenings wrapped up on the couch consumed by delicious kisses. Oh goodness he knew how to kiss…

Funny, it hadn't occurred to her until now that not only had they stopped making love at some point, but they had stopped touching altogether. Or better, he had stopped touching her.

The thought gripped her with like a vice and she began frantically to search her mind, when it had occurred. When had he stopped taking the time to touch her?

Suddenly, even the dwindling daylight was too much for Clarisse to endure. She squeezed her eyes shut in pain. Oh god! The events of that morning suddenly came back to her with an almost surreal clearness. He had had gone on another training session with the boys, claiming that they needed their former boss as guidance. She didn't like this, even less since the accident he had had the last time, but had bowed to his wish nonetheless.

Together with Mia and Charlotte, she had seen him off, but when she leaned over to kiss his mouth for goodbye, he had quickly averted his face and her kiss had barely touched his cheek. And despite the minimal contact he had still flinched at her touch. What had happened? What had happened that she had not only lost her allure, but had become so repulsive to her husband that he couldn't even endure a simple kiss on the cheek. He had even kept his arms almost tied to his sides. Even when she had staggered from the momentum, he had made no move to keep her upright.

At the moment, she hadn't thought too much of it, her mind already half-occupied by the tight schedule of the day, but now the embarrassed faces of Mia and Charlotte registered. They had blushed deeply, but as Clarisse realized now, not with the usual indulgent grin they had been sporting during the first months of their marriage, when it had become some kind of a game, who'd manage to walk in on them the most. This morning, their faces had been filled with embarrassment - yes, but with sadness as well. So, the fact that her marriage was going downhill already showed.

Clarisse took several deep breaths to keep herself from screaming in frustration. Only the sensation of her nails painfully digging into the flesh of her palms held her back.

She was a bad wife, that was it, she was bad wife. Nine months of being Mrs. Romerro and already he was bored of her. She was cold and unfeeling and difficult to bond with and finally it was too much and he'd turned away. Oh god, the thought shot straight to her stomach and she felt the urge to throw up.

How could she have turned him off her already? She loved him, she loved him more than anybody, anything, she would… oh she didn't even know what to do with that love sometimes. It was overwhelming and all consuming and at times it terrified her. Yet she wanted him so badly, needed him, and now it seemed the more she got, the closer they grew, the more time they spent together the more she wanted.

There was no turning back from this, when she'd walked down that aisle, when she'd said those vows, it was for life. This marriage was for life, and she was damned if she was going to lose him that easily. No, she wasn't cold, she wasn't unfeeling, she would show him just how much he meant to her. Just how deeply she loved him. Just how loving she could be…

Joseph would be away for two days, well one day was almost over and according to their timetable he should be home for 7:30 the following evening. So that gave her just over twenty-four hours to totally beautify herself for him. Perhaps organise a romantic meal, wine, candles, an intimate setting... yes that would work. And if she wore her new black dress... yes, it was almost backless and Joseph had always adored her back. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes as a memory went through her, lying flat on her stomach in bed with Joseph slowly licking his way down her spine, tickling her freckles.

Well thoughts like that weren't going to get her anywhere. It was time for a quick trip to the kitchen to organise the Chefs, then arrange to have her nails done, and her hair... yes it would be perfect. He wouldn't be able to resist.

Clarisse rose to her full height at the thought. Yes, there was nothing like a plan. She turned on her heel and strode out of her office to set her plan into motion.

The food was easily arranged, the call for a hairdresser - not Paolo this time, thank you - and a manicure quickly placed and now she stood inside her walk-in closet to select the perfect little piece of nothing to wear under her dress.

Opening the drawer in which she kept the a little more risqué pieces of lingerie a smile crossed her face. Oh Joseph, to what joys had he introduced her. Feeling and dressing like a woman - a woman who felt sexy and was sexy. At least, that was how he had made her feel until a few weeks ago.

No! No! Clarisse shook her head. She was sexy. Or at least she could be for her husband. She would She would prove it. To him… and to herself.