A/N: Okay, just a little drabble in an attempt to unblock my writer's…well, block.
I don't know if this happens to anyone else but I definitely have a lot to put up with, with my numerous fanfictions and their angst-ish characters that are intent on destroying any manner of sleep that I might ever hope to have.
Characters belong to; House MD, DC universe, the people that own Thundercats, CS Lewis, PC Cast, JK Rowling and…I think that's about it.
IrnBruOrDeath makes a guest starring appearance.
As does my muse Alex and a lil black winged fox.
Read and review if yer that way inclined though I don't expect y'all to be that impressed with this.
Ciao, Scribe.
Insomnia Blink
Late one night in the a quiet Scottish bungalow in the middle of a slumbering village, one desperate fanfiction author was trying to do just that.
Sleep.
So far it had eluded the Sinister Scribe and she was beginning to get, for the lack of a better word, cranky. She grumbled and pulled the pillow more firmly down over her dark tousled head and swore that she was never EVER going near her laptop again.
Several insult laden moments later, Scribe began to run out of oxygen and had to pull the pillow up slightly to let in some precious life giving air.
When really, she should have just smothered herself when given the opportunity.
'Hey, wake up.' A long manicured finger prodded her and Scribe ignored it, perhaps if she pretended to be dead…the finger again. 'I command you to wake up.'
Scribe flopped onto her back, scrabbled for her glasses and then planted them firmly on her face. 'Listen, gridle-gal, you ain't an Amazon Princes anymore, so none of this commandin' shite.' Scribe warned and scowled at the tall dark haired and insanely beautiful woman standing over her.
Wonder Woman scowled and moonlight glinted off her golden breastplate as she glared at the irritating small Scottish teenager lying in front of her. Her faintly Greco accent made an appearance the more annoyed she became.
'It really is beyond me why you have to write about me when you don't even like me that much.' She huffed and folded her arms over her considerable chest before looking at the tall darkly cowled man beside her. He 'hnned' but otherwise said nothing, the bright yellow utility belt stood out brightly against the black of his Kevlar uniform and his cape rustled near silently as he stood to the side slightly and jerked a shining gloved thumb at the couple that were entwined in the cushy chair in the corner of the room.
'They're at it again.' Diana said unnecessarily and Scribe tilted her head as she watched them for a moment.
'Hey, that's new…' Batman turned the full level of his glare on the small girl in the bed and she jerked slightly.
'Hey, you two! Knock it off! Some of us are trying to sleep.' Scribe grumbled and the couple parted, though not far. Lisa Cuddy giggled slightly as Gregory House's long tapered fingers played over the skin on her knee.
House looked up almost innocently. 'You told us to get a room. It's just too bad that we can only appear in a room that you're in.' He reasoned smugly and resumed trying to slide his hand unobtrusively up his lover's skirt.
'Oh, for fuck's sake.' Scribe muttered and hauled herself out of bed. She snatched a black skull and cross-bone tee shirt off the floor and pulled it on over her head. She was long past embarrassed at being near-naked with the lot of them, it was nothing they hadn't seen before anyway. 'I'll find somewhere to put you then.' She growled and shoved an Amazon Princess and an anti-hero out the way.
Batman caught her as she tripped over a small cat-human hybrid that was approximately one foot tall. Lion-O glowered up at her and brandished with his miniature Sword of Omens.
'Watch it!' He snarled.
Scribe crouched. 'Why the fuck are you so small?'
'Because you haven't really got a plot yet, so we're just a little idea in the back of your mind.' He gestured to the rest of the Thundercats that had set up a makeshift camp in Scribe's shoe collection under her desk.
Scribe slapped a palm to her forehead. 'Of course you are.' She sighed and straightened to her full height and threw open the doors to her built in cupboard. She blinked.
'What the hell?'
A massive golden pelted lion, a white lion-human hybrid and a male and female centaur looked up at her from within the depths of the cupboard. Needless to say, it was already a tad cramped in there.
The black male centaur puffed from his cigar and tilted the green dealer's visor back from his forehead as he looked her up and down. 'What do you want?' They were all in the middle of a poker game, apparently.
Scribe let her head thump against the cupboard door. 'Of course.' She looked back at the centaurs and lions. 'I will get around to rewriting it, but seriously, can you take another two in here? I'll even try and shrink them down a bit.'
'What?' The female centaur snorted and shifted restlessly. 'The two nymphomaniacs? Hell no. we've already got the Fomorians hidden in the storage boxes.' She jerked a thumb at the vacuum sealed boxes and, as if on cue, one of them gave a muffled snarl and a wriggle. The lion growled and thumped it soundly with a massive dinner plate shaped paw. It fell silent quickly.
'Fine.' Scribe snapped and shut the doors on the poker party. She turned and leant against them a moment. Cuddy giggled again and Scribe refused to look. 'Chest of drawers!' She said over brightly and marched to them, kicking books and artist's supplies out of the way.
'Maybe you should tidy up a little.' Batman suggested tentatively and Scribe rounded on him.
'No!' Scribe sliced a hand through the air. 'No freaking WAY are you tidying up again. You cleared Raven right out of here and now she's barely speaking to me. Which makes it a bit fecking difficult to write about YOUR fanfiction and get you out of my room!' She heaved in a breath and panted once. 'It's creative chaos.'
Batman and Wonder Woman shared a glance.
Scribe snarled. 'Don't forget, I've seen the bat-suit with nipples.' She said darkly and turned back to the drawers.
Batman scowled at her back but offered no further rejoinder.
Scribe hauled open the top drawer and leaped back with a yelp as Harry Potter bounded up into a sitting position and roared at her. 'RAWR, I'm so bitter and enraged!'
'Ack! Quick, the anti-wizard Bat-spray!' Scribe clutched Batman's shoulder and he looked down at her with on raised eyebrow. She planted her hands on her hips. 'I have a tipex pen and I'm this far away from drawing the eyebrows back on.' She gestured with finger and thumb barely parted.
Batman was saved from any cowl reconstruction as the drawer below Harry opened and a tall tattooed druid with white hair bounded upwards out of it. She slapped Harry soundly and the Boy-who-lived flopped back into the drawer sending up a flutter of underwear and mismatched socks before Nara shoved him roughly back into the drawer and slammed it closed. She rounded on Scribe.
'Do I have to be in the same fanfiction as him?'
Scribe nodded once. 'Aye.'
Nara sighed and grumbled but folded herself neatly back into her own drawer before sliding it shut with a barely audible click.
'What about the other drawers?' Diana suggested and Scribe took a step back from the chest.
'You open them.' She dared the Amazon and Diana but her full lower lip between her teeth.
'What about the book boxes?' She eventually suggested.
Scribe snapped her fingers. 'I knew there was a reason I kept you around.' She dove beside the cushy chair and tossed various debris out of the way until she unearthed a book box. She held it up with a sound of triumph and dusted off the card board proudly with quick efficient movements.
There was a small tapping at the window.
Scribe's head came up and she sighed. 'I'm gonnae kill him.' She muttered and threw open the window to the brightly moonlit night. A massive black and white bellied fox with whisky eyes and midnight blue wings soared in through the window with a fluting call and crouched in the middle of the small room in a neat landing.
'Oh, so nice of you to turn up. Where the hell have you been?' Scribe demanded as she planted her hands on her hips. A tall athletically built boy in a blue hooded sweater and jeans slid off the fox's back. The animal promptly shrank to more fox-like proportions and looked up at Scribe with a happy yip. It leaped into the air and floated up to curl around her shoulders. She scratched its chin absently as she berated the boy.
'Look at what's happened since you've been away!' Scribe gestured wildly and nearly unmanned Batman. He prudently moved to crouch on the chest of drawers out of the way.
The boy grinned sheepishly and scrubbed a hand through his slightly over long sandy-blonde hair. 'Well, ye've been working, so we just went for a wee jaunt.'
'You're my muse, you're not supposed to just bugger off.' Scribe snapped and folded her arms across her chest.
Alex straightened and a frown came over his features as his emerald eyes sparked ominously. 'You need me a hell of a lot more than I need you, I can do whatever I want.' He told her coolly.
'Bollocks.' Scribe asserted. 'Without me, you don't even exist.'
'And without me, your existence would be pointless!' Alex snapped and his emerald and gold aura blazed fiery for a moment. Anger crackled between the two and they both wore matching expressions of stubbornness.
All the other characters had fallen silent as they watched the interplay between writer and muse. Their relationship was dysfunctional at the best of times but they had never actually argued before.
Scribe stamped her bare foot on the carpet. 'Bastard! I hate it when you're right!'
'I would have thought you'd be used to it by now.' Alex shot back with a haughtily raised brow and a toss of his golden hair.
'Well, it's not as if I was alive the last time it happened.' Scribe snarked back. She upended the book box and held it out towards House and Cuddy. 'In.' She ordered shortly.
House leant forward and inspected the inside of the cardboard box. 'It doesn't look very comfortable.' He pointed out.
Scribe made a strangled sound of rage and scrubbed a hand down over her face. 'You're picking now to be in character?'
'Well, it's gotta happen some time.' House smirked at her.
Scribe gritted her teeth and thrust the box towards the still sparking muse. 'Alex, a little furniture if you would.'
Alex glared at her for a moment and then waved his hand negligently. The innards of the box were transformed into a rather nice 'Arabian Nights' suite complete with massive bed and glittery drapes.
Scribe focused her attention on House and Cuddy and the two characters barely had time to squeak before they were shrunk down to approximately six inches tall, hauled up between thumb and forefinger of the author and deposited neatly in the box. A copy of 'Dragonology' was canted over the top to allow the fictional couple some privacy.
And the rest of them some peace.
Scribe gave a small smile as she sighed and yawned simultaneously before trudging back to bed. She flopped onto the mattress and hauled the duvet up over her head. She was aware of Alex taking his place back in the chalk drawing at the head of the bed. He would be leaning on his elbow against the edge of the paper and grinning out at the room.
Or he would if he was in a good mood, which he probably wasn't because Scribe had shouted at him.
The lump under the duvet sighed.
Squirmed.
Sighed again.
The duvet was thrown back and Scribe tilted her head back to look at the now two dimensional Alex. 'I'm sorry I shouted, but they were driving me nuts.' It was as close to an outright grovel for forgiveness as he was likely to get.
Alex scrutinised a tear in the edge of his paper for a moment before deigning to look down at her. 'I suppose I shouldn't have left ye alone with the lot of them for this long.' He allowed, his slight Irish lilt coming to the fore to show he was truly contrite. 'Now, get some sleep so ye'll actually be able to type the morrow.' He told her and Scribe nodded, her head already lolling as her eyes fluttered closed.
For the moment, the room was quiet, all the other characters were silent as they settled for the night, eager for the next day when they would have another step forward and out of the limbo they were in. It was even easy to ignore the tiny giggling that could be heard from under 'Dragonology' escaping from the book box.
The bedroom door was thrust open and Scribe cracked one eye open to glare fuzzily at her sister as she shuffled into the room IrnBru-OrDeath smirked cheerfully to her sister as she plopped down on the bed, a notepad and pen clutched in her pale hands as she scrutinised her sister who was intently pretending to be comatose.
OrDeath gestured to the door and Sirius Black trotted into the room followed by Severus Snape, who scowled at everybody (though slightly more appreciatively at Wonder Woman who was now squished onto the cushy chair with Batman) and tossed back his slick hair to peer down his hawk-like nose at Scribe, who was still pretending to be asleep.
'Scribe! Wake up, ye lazy bugger.'
Scribe didn't move, didn't open her eyes and barely appeared to be breathing.
'What?' the word was drawn out on a low snarl and Alex's grin widened from his portrait.
'I want to do a slash but they're not being very cooperative.' OrDeath gestured to Black and Snape who were standing at opposite ends of the tiny room and glaring at each other.
'Of course they're not, they hate each other.' Scribe rolled over and tried to ignore her way into the land of nod.
'Cuddy and House hate each other and you ALWAYS have them screwing each other's brains out by, at the latest, chapter eight.' OrDeath pointed out with the truth on her side and Scribe resisted the urge to commit sister-cide.
'Cuddy and House don't hate each other, the chemistry's there. You just have to throw them into a situation where they're forced to confront it. Now bugger off.' She grumbled and furiously concentrated on losing consciousness.
'Can't I do that with these two?' OrDeath wondered aloud and was promptly shot down by both Black and Snape as well as Wonder Woman, who had pulled back Batman's cowl to reveal Bruce Wayne's face and was looking between the billionaire and Black the Azkaban escapee with a narrowed eyed scrutiny noting the similarities between the two men.
(I think you'd suit your hair a bit longer, Bruce.)
(Don't hold your breath, Princess.)
'No.' Scribe knew she could ignore them all. All it took was determination.
'What then?' Her sister demanded.
Scribe thought for a moment.
'Love potion. Trelawny can dump it Snape's tea and her own and Black ends up drinking it by mistake. There, plot sorted, now go away.'
'Ah, good idea.' OrDeath scribbled furiously and rose off the bed to disappear out the door along with Black and Snape, who were glaring at the back of the second author and contemplating teaming up in a one time only thing, if only to obliviate the girl from ever thinking of Fanfiction EVER again.
Scribe enjoyed the new silence with a happy sigh and snuggled down deeper into her duvet. Tucking it in around herself so she was caterpillared snugly into her bedclothes.
The door opened.
Scribe lifted her head and was cut off from a litany of verbose swearing when she saw her mother's bleary face in the doorway.
'You could try being a little more considerate, some of us have to get some sleep.' She snapped in a sleep slurred voice and slammed the door shut, effectively waking up everyone that wasn't already bright of eye and bushy of tail.
Scribe flopped back into the mattress, pulled her pillow over her head and screamed.